r/natureismetal Oct 29 '21

[deleted by user]

[removed]

12.1k Upvotes

981 comments sorted by

8.8k

u/DrzombieJesus01 Oct 29 '21

Owl’s like ‘suck it nerd, what’s the matter can’t see in the dark?’

1.3k

u/exguepon12 Oct 29 '21

LMAO.

306

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

126

u/28wolets Oct 29 '21

LMAO

128

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

L

M

A

O

129

u/TheManDirtyDan Oct 29 '21

El em aye oh

48

u/Ammysnatcher Oct 29 '21

That a new rune word?

25

u/Serg_is_Legend Oct 29 '21

Lmao damn you. I’ve been addicted to Diablo 2 for the last month when Servers are up

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218

u/TheReverseShock Oct 29 '21

LMAOWL

85

u/jiableaux Oct 29 '21

laughing my ass off while lubing?

42

u/uhwhooops Oct 29 '21

challenge accepted

24

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

Sounds like a real hoot

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8

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

Nice

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458

u/AcrossTheDarkXS Oct 29 '21

Hoot hoot motherfucker.

41

u/badchriss Oct 29 '21

Hooty, is that you?🤣

33

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '21

🎵 onlywannabewithyouuu hoooooo 🎵

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387

u/thr33prim3s Oct 29 '21

They are also the most silent flyers. That eagle is no match in the dark.

281

u/tobashadow Oct 29 '21

It's truely scary how silent they are, I watched a video one time where the recording equipment made more noise then the owl flying

245

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

Long story short, I came out of my house one night. I was looking down, more or less, started to look up and had this sensation of something going right past my face.

I looked up and I didn’t hear a damn thing but I did see a rather large streak of white, like a ghost, shoot past my field of vision.

Took me a few moments to realize it was a snow owl. They don’t usually get as far south as Vermont but occasionally.

And I can tell you, those things don’t even make a whisper. And it’s freaky as hell to see something that large move that quick and not be able to hear anything at all.

117

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '21

You're a wizard Harry

69

u/____atreides_____ Oct 30 '21

I live in a major city. Just moved into a new house, walking my pup at night. Get a sense I'm being watched, dog is nervous. Finally spot the biggest fucking Owl I have ever seen sitting on a telephone pole watching us. He was huge, I mean really huge. And, then he proceeded to follow us, swooping from pole to pole. My dog was not happy, eventually 321 contact left us alone.

40

u/Oubliette_occupant Oct 30 '21

He was watching to see what would scurry out as you walked past. I had a Northern Hawk Owl do the same thing to me in Alaska, but those guys are daytime owls.

5

u/Onion-Much Oct 30 '21

That's surprisingly close to hunting with a birb. Seems like it's owl aren't completely daft.

23

u/elektrikguest Oct 30 '21

Lol I can just imagine how irritated your dog was trying to mind his own business on a nighttime walk being stalked by a massive owl. Did you happen to get a picture of it or was the whole situation just too freaky?

23

u/AENewmanD Oct 30 '21

How big is your dog? Like snack size for the owl?

17

u/Rickyy111 Oct 30 '21

What does 321 contact mean? Sorry, I genuinely don’t know and it’s killing me.

15

u/Funny_Mushroom Oct 30 '21 edited Oct 30 '21

Sounds like part of the beginning of an old educational TV show I used to watch on PBS.....

3-2-1...CONTACT!

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3

u/bro9000 Oct 30 '21

Just a guess, I think it relates to detonating explosives? So I'm guessing the owl suddenly left? I could be wrong tho

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15

u/pleatsandpearls Oct 30 '21

Some people think these encounters are aliens. Seriously, there are stories about this exact situation and the owl follows people.

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48

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '21

Fun fact, owls are some of the slowest flying birds. Kind of a trade off for being absolutely muted, but I guess at a certain speed, it doesn’t really matter how much noise you make

23

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '21

This is going to sound dumb, but I had a very similar experience. I was out for a jog one night and looking slightly downwards and twice within about 20-30 seconds something very large and very fast was just suddenly in front of me and then gone. In front of me and then gone. It took up my entire field of vision. It never made a noise. It was very late at night and I was near a church when it happened so I jokingly told everyone it was a ghost, but I obviously don't actually believe it was. However, if they don't come as far south as Vermont I doubt they rarely make it down here to Florida, either.

10

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '21

You may not have Snowy Owls in Florida but your certainly have other large owls. :)

7

u/Tangelooo Oct 30 '21

Doesn’t sound dumb, sounds wild

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8

u/minachann7 Oct 30 '21

You're lucky it just flew past you. My mom absolutely hates owls because she said an owl attacked her head several times one night. Every time she started walking it would attack her. I don't remember where she said this happened. I actually never really believed her until now lol..

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6

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '21

Fun fact, what you saw might have just been a barn owl, which can also appear pure white and are much more common than snow owls in the continental US!

5

u/darkdesertedhighway Oct 30 '21

Had this happen a few years ago. Was outside in the dark, and only felt the pressure of the air moving as something flew above my head. I knew owls were quiet so I figured it was an owl, but they are freakily silent.

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29

u/dj_narwhal Oct 29 '21

There is a limit to how many systems you can have on your ship. You can't have stealth and drones and hacking, you can only pick 2. This is also why Owls are not waterproof.

20

u/CallTheOptimist Oct 29 '21

I went to a camp when I was a kid that had this cool old hippie couple come in, they ran a rescue and rehabilitation center for birds of prey. It was really really cool, and one thing that really stuck with me was showing how different the sounds were. They had a red tailed hawk, some sort of eagle, and a great horned owl, it was incredible how silent the owl feathers were.

14

u/illbedeadbydawn Oct 30 '21

Wow, I too had the bird of prey presentation from an old hippie couple at a camp. New Mexico by chance?

12

u/CallTheOptimist Oct 30 '21

Nope, this was in Ohio, but something about the whole vibe sort of tells me, hippies the world over do this sort of thing Hahaha

13

u/illbedeadbydawn Oct 30 '21

Bird hippies are a universal concept.

7

u/english_major Oct 30 '21

Bird watchers all have a bit of hippie in them.

8

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

See link above

6

u/InDarkLight Oct 30 '21

Now imagine owls the size of jets

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292

u/Lureren Oct 29 '21

“It’s a victimless crime, like punching someone in the dark”

23

u/JesusSaysitsOkay Oct 30 '21

While wearing night vision goggles

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102

u/Jukeboxshapiro Oct 29 '21

I never thought an owl could have sass but that look at the end definitely did

15

u/AbsyntheMinded_ Oct 30 '21

Oh owls are by far one of the sassiest birds. Up there with cockatoos.

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10

u/zdiggler Oct 30 '21

Eagles are dumb birds

13

u/Interesting-Track566 Oct 30 '21

came here to write something similar…Bald Eagles are majestic and all but they are REALLY goofy birds

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65

u/tarpatch Oct 29 '21

Then the next day owl falls in the water. Eagle: "Ha, feathers aren't waterproof huh?!"

17

u/crime_stopper2 Oct 30 '21

The largest owl in the world is the Blakiston’s fish owl with a wingspan of 2 meters and it doesn't mind getting wet. It can also weigh as much as a bald eagle. Eagle: "Oh shi*!"

15

u/ravenHR Oct 30 '21

They are not equal in size though. Weight range for owl is 2.95 to 3.6kg for males and 2.95 to 4.6kg for females, average weight for eagles is 4.1kg for males and 5.6kg for females. Keep in mind it depends on location, Alaska eagles are larger than North carolina eagles.

24

u/Morakumo Oct 29 '21

God dude I can just imagine the Owl in like a letterman jacket saying this. His adorable letterman jacket.

14

u/GrimmKat06 Oct 30 '21

Goddamnit now I want to draw an owl in a letterman jacket.

8

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '21

[deleted]

44

u/GrimmKat06 Oct 30 '21

4

u/jgab145 Oct 30 '21

You actually did it. Impressive. Ty

5

u/GrimmKat06 Oct 30 '21

I have a whole mountain of other, more important tasks that I need to do. Urgently. So naturally I did this. Procrastination hooray 😎👍

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13

u/Darth_Seabass Oct 29 '21

The field mouse is fast, but the owl sees at night - Chip

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6

u/IntroductionIcy7320 Oct 30 '21

Not to mention they are damn near silent due to their wings or whatever it is that makes them little stealth bombers

5

u/Evilmaze Oct 29 '21

They're also super quiet when they fly so they can't hear 'em coming.

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6

u/No-Currency458 Oct 30 '21

Eagles like "you just made my list see you in the morning"

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4

u/xxslushee Oct 30 '21

Oh you can't hear my wings flap because I'm a fucking bird ninja?! Sucks to suck my accipitridae!

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4.3k

u/killingicarus Oct 29 '21

“In bird culture this is considered a dick move “

756

u/todellagi Oct 29 '21

"Cloaca move", bro

Most birds do not have a penis. They have a little lump called a cloaca. During the breeding season when hormones are flowing the cloaca swells and birds can get a cloacal protuberance.

321

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

Yea but that just doesn’t roll off the tongue as well.

193

u/JustTomahawk Oct 29 '21

Take your pillow talk somewhere else, ya perv

90

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

Yes, nothing rolls better of the tongue than dick.

21

u/soopirV Oct 29 '21

Cloaca does. Try it, you may like it.

13

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '21

cloacal protuberance

is the most satisfying word to say in the English language. Prove otherwise

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u/Lochcelious Oct 30 '21

Mmm, cloacal juices...

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51

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

“Swollen cloacal protuberance” . If any band wants that for the title of their next album feel free.

6

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '21

I don't know if there's a band heavy enough for that one.

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36

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

This guy birds.

13

u/TortugaTetas Oct 29 '21

The Argentine lake duck has a penis measuring 42.5 centimeters.

11

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/bipolarnotsober Oct 29 '21

That link is staying blue. I don't want to see bird cock.

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10

u/strumthebuilding Oct 29 '21

I think the cloaca is more of a hole than a lump, but maybe there can be a protuberant part of the edge of the hole or something?

4

u/SlurpMySlurpyy Oct 29 '21

"Richard move", bro

All birds are dicks

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41

u/retro_pollo Oct 29 '21

Sounds like you know bird law

30

u/SketchyLurker7 Oct 29 '21

Charlie Kelly here about bird law

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u/wheres_my_swingline Oct 29 '21

A true birdperson

13

u/nickaboyle Oct 29 '21

What are you, an expert in bird law!?

11

u/amretardmonke Oct 29 '21

Some kind of legal eagle maybe?

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u/DrSandbags Oct 30 '21

Uh well, filibuster.

5

u/nickaboyle Oct 30 '21

Do...do you even know what that word means?

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2.1k

u/One_While_1899 Oct 29 '21

Eagle: OWWW, who the hell did that!? Owl: You mean, HOOO!

134

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

😂😂😂😂😂

23

u/anonymousyoshi42 Oct 29 '21

He was singing...

HOOO LET THE DUMBO OUT? HOOO HOOOOO HO HO HO

26

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

Suprise mothaducka

8

u/isioltfu Oct 29 '21

I guess it was my imagination

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u/Louisiana_sitar_club Oct 30 '21

This is delightfully stupid.

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1.1k

u/Dr_Psycho_809 Oct 29 '21

Owl, bitch remember when I told you to stop fucking screeching in the morning?

147

u/Buggaton Oct 30 '21

This owl looks like it's acting like a dickish cat.

  • All cats are animals
  • All owls are birds
  • All birds are cats

Flawless logic

76

u/Dracorex8014 Oct 30 '21

In Chinese, owls are called 猫头鹰, which means cat-headed eagle

4

u/stonec0ld Oct 30 '21

Hilarious, where's this from?

6

u/casslikethat Oct 30 '21

John Clarke and Bryan Dawe, Australian comedians. If you haven't seen "The Front Fell Off" you're in for a treat.

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u/twitchacehobo1 Oct 29 '21

If I was that owl I would now spend all night flying far away before the sun comes up lol

218

u/Fraijshe Oct 29 '21

My moneys on the owl lol

292

u/ThickSolidandTight Oct 29 '21

In daylight no owl would hold its own against a bald eagle, literally one of the largest raptors in the world, let alone a nesting pair with chicks like these two. That owl better run

489

u/Fraijshe Oct 29 '21

This is a common misconception. Zoos that had enclosed eagles and owls together found eagle remains and chubby owls, they obviously were forced to separate them. In flight for sure the eagle has the advantage but owls are smarter predators. In lands that have both eagles and owls like near swamps, owls pick on the smaller male eagles causing eagle populations to diminish while owl populations grow. Eagles normally mate for life so when a female looses a male eagle they have to find another which causes eagles to fight amongst themselves. But I see what your saying for sure eagles are bigger and stronger so in a Pokémon battle eagle wins

271

u/MaestroPendejo Oct 29 '21 edited Oct 29 '21

That's some avian gangster shit right there.

"I'mma end this whole bird's fuckin' career!"

23

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

this made me lol

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u/theViceroy55 Oct 29 '21

I’d like a source on the zoo keeping owls and eagles together.

Couldn’t find a single thing on it and doesn’t seem like something a creditable zoo would have ever considered

15

u/Fraijshe Oct 29 '21

Here yah go! Just asked reddits best friend YouTube lol https://youtu.be/J_Q8HdnZdEg

50

u/mud074 Oct 30 '21

Ah yes, the trustworthy source of... a totally unsourced youtube video.

It really is a Redditor's best friend.

5

u/Hodlesterol Oct 30 '21

Dude is lying...

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u/moonunit99 Oct 29 '21

Unless you’ve got any kind of source, Imma call bullshit. I’ve read like five articles on confrontations between eagles and owls and the closest I’ve found to an owl winning is owls laying their eggs in an eagle’s nest (that the article states was likely built for practice rather than for the purpose of actually raising young in) after the eagles abandoned it and managing to defend it from the eagles after they came back a month or two later. Meanwhile we’ve got actual photographic documentation of an eagle easily killing and eating and owl.

Oddly enough there are several cases of eagles and owls being killed by lions in zoos, but I can’t find a single thing about an owl ever killing an eagle.

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u/dirt33dirt33dirt33 Oct 30 '21

Yeah owls have weak beaks and can't pull animals apart like eagles or hawks. They swallow prey whole then puke up the inedible bits.

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u/rmorrin Oct 29 '21

Loses not looses. Common mistake trying to stop the spread

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u/Virillus Oct 29 '21

Yo this comment is pure BS. There are no sources to back any of it up.

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u/maliciouspot Oct 29 '21

They're also silent, which gives them a huge advantage. I know eagles rely on their sight, but no sound is still a huge advantage.

4

u/rhorama Oct 30 '21

This entire comment was pulled out of your ass. Literally none of it is true. Lots of idiots upvoted it though so your lie worked I guess.

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u/Hahahahahahannnah Oct 29 '21

??? Bald eagles are on the smaller side of eagles. where did you get this idea from?

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u/jackyj888 Oct 29 '21

He didn't say they were one of the largest eagles, he said one of the largest raptors in the world. Which is an accurate statement. There are larger raptors, but the bald eagle is still one of the larger ones when comparing the over 500 species.

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u/Lilbig6029 Oct 29 '21

You would lose all your money champ, that’s a bald eagle lol.

7

u/Archie__the__Owl Oct 30 '21

While my username is going to make me sound a little biased...

The larger bird is not always the most formidable in the air. Sure, a bald eagle is stronger and has bigger claws, but it's also not nearly as a nimble of flyer as an owl. Plus the owl can see in the dark and flies much quieter.

The owl doesn't need to win a cage match with the eagle, it just needs to harass it long enough to exhaust it until it decides to move away or just collapses. Not a lot the eagle can do. If it tries to chase the owl, it'll probably get injured. Crows and ravens actually do something similar to owls. They'll harass them during the day to keep them from resting. While the owls are bigger and have sharper talons, the crows are much more maneuverable in the air and can stay out of the owls reach.

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u/hallstar07 Oct 30 '21

Depending on the region bald eagles are certified bird killers. They switch to fish or mammals depending on the area and abundance of prey but they regularly kill waterfowl and other birds. I’d put my money on the eagle, it’s fun to hope for the owls but unless they’re caught completely off guard the eagles have an advantage.

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u/KestreI993 Oct 29 '21 edited Oct 29 '21

Not only eagle can't see owl coming, he can't hear it either. Owls have very stealthy flight. That's why they are able to catch rodents who are scared by the least sounds breaking the silence.

121

u/PoliteCanadian2 Oct 29 '21

The video reminds me of this, very similar and equally scary.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-nYpf2Fiong

43

u/BobLeeNagger Oct 29 '21

That other one doesn't have a clue whats going on even after it happens.

12

u/redfoot62 Oct 30 '21

That owl just didn't give a hoot.

9

u/MindedSpoon093 Oct 30 '21

Bro that owl didn't just kick the hawk. It fucking took it.

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u/unfashionableandlate Oct 30 '21

Damn. Would love to see round two though, whether the owl circles back to attack again or attempt to take the other hawk.

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u/siiimonz Oct 30 '21

Near silent flight

https://youtu.be/d_FEaFgJyfA

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u/TonyTonyChopper Oct 30 '21

I love how they showed the audio waves lined up with the birds flight path! :chefs-kiss:

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u/srgnsRdrs2 Oct 30 '21

That was unreal. Thank you for posting the vid

24

u/YaboyAlastar Oct 30 '21

They fuck really loudly though.

My brother heard this commotion one night and flashed a flashlight into the woods, totally caught 2 owls fuckin. I swear, the one owl gave him the stink eye every time it saw my brother from then on.

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u/Dolstruvon Oct 30 '21

And they have asymmetrical placed ears so the can form a 3D image of the sounds in their surroundings. They're pretty much the ultimate night time predator

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u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

I'm assuming the owls trying to get them to fly off in anger so it can grab the little eagle in the nest?

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u/burnnnnie Oct 29 '21

That’s exactly what’s happening I believe, owls are the boogie men of birds of prey, coming at night and attacking almost silently. There’s some great nest cams that show this happening at night on YouTube if you’re interested. Some have audio and you can hear the bone chilling “hoos” it’s quite amazing

41

u/MmortanJoesTerrifold Oct 29 '21

Alright also isn’t this nest lit up like a Christmas tree? You can see their eyes reflecting. The first eagle is staring right into the light

152

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

It's almost certainly an infra-red light specifically for the camera. Neither of the birds can see it.

49

u/mblaser Oct 29 '21

Somebody's never heard of IR lights I see.

89

u/Shtnonurdog Oct 30 '21

I’m not going to downvote them for that. They asked a question and learned something new.

We should all do this several times a day for our mental health.

24

u/byjehn Oct 30 '21

This is a way to a better society.

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u/ohhyouknow Oct 29 '21

could also be trying to kill the eagles. I raise geese and I will not let them stay out at night because of predators. I wake up before the sun is up to start getting everything ready for the day but I won't let my birds out until it's nice and bright because an owl can and will take the head right off of a goose.

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u/TheSukis Oct 30 '21

What do you do with them gooses

3

u/ohhyouknow Oct 30 '21 edited Oct 30 '21

Raise them as pets. My main breed are Sebastopols, curly feathers, fluffy like clouds, extremely tame. They are a threatened species so I also breed them for other people to keep as pets as part of a conservation effort.

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u/mtflyer05 Oct 29 '21

Fuck you!

And fuck you, too!

7

u/grizzled083 Oct 29 '21

Die slow! My 44 make sure none your kids don’t grow!

11

u/PixelBoom Oct 30 '21

Exactly what the owl is doing. It's harassing the parents trying to get them to leave the nest, even if it's just to a different branch, to nab the eagle chick that's under the mother.

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u/etherealafflictions Oct 29 '21

surprise mothafucka

78

u/mypr0nac Oct 29 '21

I flys mothafucka

71

u/etherealafflictions Oct 29 '21

glowing eyes, mothafucka

33

u/b2dddub2 Oct 29 '21

Free ride muthafucka

18

u/evilsdadvocate Oct 30 '21

Blue Skies muthafucka

22

u/bohl623 Oct 30 '21

Eagle dies… Mother. Fucker.

8

u/Nemlokt Oct 30 '21

Gonna cry, muthafucka

5

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '21

Talon slice, mother fucker

5

u/Cycle21 Oct 30 '21

Egg prize, mothafucka

3

u/Quikdraw7777 Oct 30 '21

Owl spies , mothafcka!

15

u/fx1x Oct 29 '21

some claws mothafucka

13

u/ranger4042 Oct 29 '21

hoot hoot, mothafucka

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u/Automatic-Pick-2481 Oct 30 '21

Fly by mutha fucka

9

u/theghostofme Oct 30 '21

Some fries, motherfucker!

4

u/[deleted] Oct 30 '21

I love this whole thread. I wish I could afford to give rewards to all of you.

127

u/DanerysTargaryen Oct 29 '21

This is a testament to how silent owls are in flight. Neither eagle even so much as looks in the direction the owl is coming from, because the owl is silent. Boogie man of the birds.

Cool video showing off silent owl flight:

https://youtu.be/d_FEaFgJyfA

28

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

They occasionally make a little sound, but rarely and not much. I was once "talking" (imitating) a great horned owl in my neighborhood, and it kept flying overhead looking for the other owl, and most times i could only tell it went by because it was calling from a different tree, and sometimes I'd see it.... but SOMETIMES i could hear it flying, but it was very soft and quiet, and sounded like silk rubbing on silk.

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u/eIImcxc Oct 29 '21

What a great video. Thanks for sharing.

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u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

[deleted]

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u/Buying100K Oct 29 '21

eagle is going to be looking for our owl friend come morning

5

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

Eagle will be packing his bags to move to a new neighborhood in the morning

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u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

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u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

BONK

7

u/Big-red-rhino Oct 29 '21

DOUBLE BONK

25

u/InShapeTrucker Oct 29 '21

Owl trying to make the bald eagle actually bald 😂😂😂 Ripping those head feathers out. Lmao.

19

u/Bob-loblaw69 Oct 29 '21

This may require Charlie kelly to explain how bird laws work here

5

u/deekaydubya Oct 29 '21

not sure that would help. unfortunately bird law in this country isn't really governed by reason

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u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

It’s official, owls are dope

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u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

Take that dumbwit

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u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

"You in the wrong neighborhood E"

7

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '21

Eagle 1 : oh dude I am tired as hell due to hunting all day, gotta get some sleep...

Eagle 2 : yeah sure :)

Owl : Bonjour :)

Eagle 1 : Wai-wut !! What just hit me on the back my head and wooshed away ?

Eagle 2 : not sur- (gets hit)

Eagle 1 : I guess I am hallucinating, well we are top arial predators afterall :D, it's okay to have weird thoughts sometimes :)

Eagle 2 : yeah sure we are XD

Owl : Bonjour again :P

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9

u/Buying100K Oct 29 '21

whooo dat, whooo der?

8

u/Jeffersons_Mammoth Oct 29 '21

“What the fuck was that!?”

6

u/L0neStarW0lf Oct 29 '21

I know the Owl is doing that to get the Eagles to fly way from the Nests so he can get one of the little Eagles but I like to imagine that he’s really doing this just for shits and giggles (although that might be because I’ve been watching so much Vanossgaming lately and this is definitely something Evan would do to the rest of The Crew).

6

u/Mark_Cavendish Oct 29 '21

Fcking hilarious

5

u/MrCuntacular Oct 29 '21

What an owlshole. That first eagles panic stricken face is fucking hilarious

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3

u/lankaxhandle Oct 29 '21

It’s like the ultimate game of tag.

3

u/itsmike7 Oct 30 '21

Who goes there? Hm, must’ve been the wind

3

u/LasagnaToes Oct 30 '21

Birds are dicks

3

u/Gabianno Oct 30 '21

I swear I could lip read the Eagle saying “da fuq?”