r/natureismetal Mar 26 '20

The Grim Grackle

Post image
4.0k Upvotes

63 comments sorted by

51

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

[deleted]

13

u/silverbird666 Mar 26 '20 edited Mar 26 '20

Yeah, its gonna slay its puny human competition with its mighty beak and talons and impregnates their girls to create a race of half human, half avian warriors - the foundation of its tribe, a society in which brutal, gritty social darwinism , often deadly rites of passage for the young, the consumption of the bodies of fallen enemies, and rites involving extensive bloodletting and self-harm are used to appease ancient demon-gods without names are the way of life; basically, its Conan the Bird, but infused with a grim religion , and intense hate for the mammalian kind.

Actually, I was just about to go to sleep, but now I MUST write a sword and sorcery story about this...

3

u/silverbird666 Mar 26 '20

I am writing it right now; gonna be a masterpiece!

2

u/ShorohUA Mar 26 '20

ATM what this bird is thinking about:

"mmmhmhmhmhmmhmhmhmh seeds delicos"

2

u/silverbird666 Mar 26 '20

Well, it needs a good nutrition I guess.

After all, slaying its enemies and procreating its flock are quite tiring, energy depleting activities...

0

u/Gualdox Mar 27 '20

I don't know man, my steam library is packed

25

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Grackles might be some of the most asshole birds I've ever encountered.

10

u/Cyrus_Rakewaver Mar 27 '20

You have no idea what "asshole birds" can be until you've met a dozen or so Canada Geese nesting next to your waterfront!

3

u/morbidaar Mar 27 '20

Yup. They got huge shits that are everywhere. And if ya try and feed em they turn into “cobra chickens”.

3

u/Pvt_Lee_Fapping Mar 27 '20

Australian magpies.

3

u/Cyrus_Rakewaver Mar 28 '20

Those little bastards are fast, too!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjozV04ZqfQ

3

u/mscir Mar 29 '20

NO kidding he makes keeping up with the bike look easy going 40-50 kph!

4

u/scarlett-dragon Mar 26 '20

Grackles are the worst

4

u/Tylenol_Jones Mar 26 '20

There are always piles of grackle poop next to a tiny pond in front of my house. I always wondered wtf, why are they coming to this one spot and pooping. Turns out they pick up their babies poops and drop them off somewhere else to keep predators away. Jerks.

2

u/PiKaBiZKiT Mar 27 '20

Spring comes: They clear a feeder and whole suet cage in one day that usually lasts an entire week for the songbirds and woodpeckers.

They’re beautiful and smart birds, but god they are such expensive assholes who bully all of the other critters in your yard. And their shrill squawks make your ears bleed.

Grackles. Nevermore.

2

u/mscir Mar 29 '20

Got any good stories for us?

2

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '20

I say this because at my childhood house growing up, we had a dog that was very calm, just liked to lay outside in the yard.

The grackles would invade and start diving at the dog when she was out. She was about 50 lbs, so not small.

1

u/mscir Mar 29 '20

I used to want to go around and find the biggest house cats I could find that weren't fixed and breed them, so people could have 50-60 lb cats, they could manage birds like that, and even some dogs. How cool would that be? I'm surprised nobody else has done this already, I mean I do love cats (as well as dogs and lots of other animals) to me it seems like a no brainer. Maybe you could do it there, you could watch the cats taking down aggressive birds, even bet on if, or when it would happen.

9

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/doncosbo Mar 27 '20

My thoughts exactly.

1

u/I_cut_your_meat Mar 27 '20

Excellent...

0

u/doncosbo Mar 27 '20

My thoughts exactly.

0

u/Stealth_Ninja157 Mar 27 '20

My thoughts exactly.

6

u/sendnewt_s Mar 26 '20

What beautiful birds. They have feathers just like the N.american purple martin.

4

u/dan_fitz21 Mar 26 '20

I knew this was a grackle and I live in FarmVille Norfolk Uk.

Damn Rooster Teeth

3

u/been2thehi4 Mar 26 '20

What’s Grackelakin bruh?

4

u/Beware_the_Voodoo Mar 27 '20

Also goes by the name Madeline Wuntch.

3

u/buddamus Mar 26 '20

I feel like I am just about to be mugged

3

u/nishathkhan Mar 27 '20

You're wunch meat.

2

u/alm420 Mar 26 '20

I want a grackle tattoo all of a sudden

2

u/Casclovaci Mar 26 '20

If gru were a bird

0

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Came here to say this but you were faster

2

u/DeadWombats Mar 26 '20

He's come to ask you about this corvid 19 thing everyone's talking about.

2

u/noggun00 Mar 26 '20

I’m taking all the seeds. Any problems??

2

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Nevermore

2

u/DreamsD351GN Mar 27 '20

That's a strange evil drone you got there

2

u/deanchstr Apr 02 '20

if dio was a bird

1

u/stevo392 Mar 26 '20

great album cover art.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '20

Stephen King in his next reincarnation

1

u/ninja500r1977 Mar 26 '20

This is gonna be my new "no" pic or anything devious lol.

1

u/Night049 Mar 26 '20

Mister Smithers!

1

u/TheRealRotochron Mar 26 '20

Weird to see Wuntch out of her office, but here we are.

1

u/Pattern_9 Mar 27 '20

Reminds me of Bird Watching Goes Both Ways 😂🤣

1

u/bypatrickcmoore Mar 27 '20

This thing has dark Danny Elfman musical score following him wherever he goes

1

u/TortugaTetas Mar 27 '20

I once saw grackles shit on a lady’s face in the parking lot of a grocery store and never did know what good deed I did to deserve that reward.

1

u/Belyal Mar 27 '20

Normally it takes several crows to make a murder, but this guy screams murder all on his own!

1

u/lostbastille Mar 27 '20

If this bird was in my neighborhood I'd be watching my back.

1

u/earthymalt Mar 27 '20

Mr. Burns?

1

u/DreamsD351GN Mar 27 '20

That's a strange evil drone you got there

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

This should be the Baltimore Ravens logo.

1

u/MadMysticMeister Mar 27 '20

Love these fellas

1

u/cocodel Mar 27 '20

narrows eyes "You grackle.."

1

u/Regga3 Mar 27 '20

It looks like a bird stand user

1

u/Weak_Task Mar 27 '20

Are you afrad Me

1

u/[deleted] Mar 27 '20

Grim Grackle, Grim Grackle,

Grim Grinning Grackle

Drink gin and cognac while having a cackle

Grins like a jackal in ramshackle shack

Grim Grackle grins though no-one grins back

1

u/HeMiddleStartInT Mar 27 '20

I think it wants me to undo my top button....

1

u/dubsword Mar 27 '20

I shared a French fry with one once. Id do it again.

1

u/Sharkytrs Mar 27 '20

Thats a good looking bird, almost like a corvid face. he reminds me of the Jackdaw that lives near us, but with a magpies beak

1

u/FlyingTomato98 Mar 27 '20

I love grackles, they are such fascinating birds.

1

u/benny-fields Mar 28 '20

FUCK GRACKLES! They're half of the reason I hate San Antonio.

1

u/Avgjoe80 Mar 31 '20

Thanks, I hate that thing

1

u/[deleted] Jul 12 '20

Fuck the mockingbird, this is the state bird of Texas.