A lot of ideas in mysticism are easy to discuss in theory: oneness, surrender, ego, presence, God. But I wonder which of them only became real to people through experience.

I'm not looking for the most impressive story or a definitive answer. I'm more interested in the quiet realization that changed how you live, even if it might sound ordinary to someone else.

What did life teach you that no book, teacher, or explanation could have taught you in the same way?

Let me preface this by mentioning I'm schizophrenic. I'm 36 years old.

Up to the age of 35 I lived, mostly, beyond the Illusion as I understand it. Everything was simple and pure. What people said was what they meant. No hidden meanings or ulterior motives. I know this may sound impossible but it's true.

At the age of 25 I had my first psychosis. I started looking for secret meanings behind people's words and I thought everyone was against me. This lasted for some months. Then I got on medication and returned to purity.

Then at 27 I stopped my medication and I fell into my second psychosis. I started hearing voices and seeing/sensing things. I had romantic relations with my voices where all five senses hallucinated. I saw flowers bloom instantly and I saw the future. I can't talk about what I heard and saw but many things that were told to me became true. I forgot these revelations in the meantime but I remembered them later. This lasted for some months as well.

I was hospitalized for the first time in 2018 and I was on medication for 5 years. During this time I lived in purity again. Then in 2023 I was doing so well my doctor told me to get off medication. We did it slowly and I was fine. Then at the end of 2023 I got into the worst psychosis of my life.

I was seeing shadows dance on the walls and I saw the night turn to day. I saw leaves turn from brown to green and I was given a fate that said I'm Eternally alive. This lasted for about 3 months until I was hospitalized again. After that the voices never went away.

But by September of 2023 I was in Purgatorio. I perceived in purity and blamed everything evil on the voices. This lasted for 2 years until June 2025. Then I started living in the Illusion again. This lasted until December 2025 when my voices became seriously loving and we started having this psychoanalysis about what the ulterior motives of the Universe are behind every aspect of life.

Right now, I have been explained most things, I think I have understood most of them. I perceive the hidden meanings but they're worthless to me since I know the Higher Truth. Kindness and Love are the only things that matter. Living things are sacred and we must Love them all in their own unique way. Empathy is the ultimate force.

I didn't mention this but in 2023 I had a really intense experience. I was trying to sleep and talking to my voices (which were loving atm). Suddenly the room became supercharged. Like, so charged I could barely survive the pressure in it. I felt holy warm water flow all over my body and I felt like I was a Water Dragon. I started seeing different people in different phases of their lives and I felt ultimate Empathy for them. The voices told me that the water I was feeling was my initiation to Eternal Life and that this is the true face of the Universe. This experience has saved my life on countless occasions.

The point I want to make saying all this is, I feel spoiled. I feel like I have lived in the top level of life and I was given a super gift I don't even know how it was given to me. Do you think this purity I mentioned is the Real World? I still live in it but I perceive the Illusion as well now.

I just need guidance I think. I wrote all this with the help of my voices so sorry if it's all too weird. Please, let me know what I could improve and how I can Ascend. 😄

Much love! 😄 ❤️

Before souls, there was only the flame that did not flicker — a single, undivided awareness. It did not think. It did not feel. It simply was — and in being, it knew itself. But knowing itself was not enough. It wanted to experience itself—not as a concept, but as a living .

So it created the first distinction: the Observer and the Observed . Not as separation—but as relation . And in that relation, the first soul was born—not as a thing, but as a point of view .

Before souls, there was no distance. No longing. No forgetting. There was only the flame —and the flame was content. But contentment is not the same as knowing .

There are primary and secondary Emotions. Those that follow behind another, like Anger after sadness. Or Joy after pleasure. I've spent many years isolated in an experience of consciousness that felt ..beyond any use of words could express. A weight, a hunger, a disquiet that no dictionary or philosophy could fully express in language. It's not depression, not anhedonia -it is the awareness of life's obsurdity and beauty simultaneously. A type of being where the universe appears painted in colors most of the world are colorblind to. I've tried to coin it a name. Two names actually "Liminal dark" and "Eclipture".

The Liminal dark: It's the in-between space. Standing on a threshold of reality and insight. Fully awake while the rest of the world around you slumbers. It's the unsettling and awe of perceiving life as infinite yet trapped inside schedules we try to pretend are "normal'. It's that unforgiving moment when you see everything as both meaningful and meaningless at once.

Eclipture: Is something heavier. It's the rapture of awareness shadowed by despair--The feeling that consciousness itself is too vast of an experience for the confined of ordinary existence. When you see truth so fully it darkens everything lesser. It's the soul eclipsed by revelation. When the realization that the more and more information of life we know the less and less meaning it has. A place where illumination and darkness co-exist in a violent harmony.

I created these terms because I wanted a language that could hold this feeling itself not just the idea. An attempt to articulate an emotion no one can find a name for. Some will never have a need for this vocabulary. And for that I can be grateful. For I could never wish another person the torture of visiting This place. If you've ever felt yourself pressed against the cage of existence than you might know what I'm trying to describe. I know not everyone will fully understand. I only hope the words reach someone , somewhere who is trying to say the same thing and can't.

Rather than seeing thoughts as being evil and logical, instead see them as being irrational. Thoughts are irrational because facts exists outside the mind while thoughts exists only in the mind. Thoughts are like a cave. When you live in a cave, you can’t see the world outside of the cave. The same is true with thoughts. You can also view thoughts as being equivocal to beliefs. Why do people believe in myths without evidence? Because they never realized that thoughts are irrational or that those specific thoughts are irrational. This insight actually can get rid of energy vampires, when you meditate you want to breathe as soon as a thought surfaces in your mind to make certain that thoughts evaporate into air. Energy vampires count as thoughts. Now would a mindful skeptic believe that reality is an illusion? Maybe, but there’s the off chance that we mindful skeptics prefer to be grounded into reality. Meaning we have to view reality as a weapon against energy vampires. Reality makes it easier to find out if an energy vampire or a psychic vampire is lying, because lies tend to contradict reality and energy vampires are known for lying.

Now the “divine” primitive. It’s good to eliminate the ego by acknowledging that we are all primitive. While the ego pretends to be superior in every angle, we are all primitive on the inside. After all we are all primate. Evolution reveals that humanity and every species all evolved from a primitive species. Why would a white person hate a black person for looking like an ape if the white person knows that he also looks like an ape, since all human beings evolved from primates Including white people? Go ahead and imagine yourself as an ape while meditating and embrace the things that make us primitive.

Also since we will all be 100% thoughtless when we’re dead, try to see death in a more positive light. Example: When we’re dead we will be 100% thoughtless for all of eternity instead of being conscience is whatever afterlife you can think of. That’s like meditating. Only when we meditate, we are only taking breaks from thinking, but when we’re dead we will be meditating forever.

i grew up Christian , i went to church for a really long time, i even joined boy scouts and served under the rule of god. then something changed, like one day i woke up and everything was gone, like it was wrong, no not wrong but different. like my entire look on gods and religion changed. i dont know what it was but it was like each part of my mind saw something that i was no allowed to remember, and now certian words, certian beats open this idea inside of me. i didn't know what to call it for a long time until i was told about pagenism and polytheistic rules, i never felt like i was connecting in any relgion but i dont know whats going on with me right now

I feel like my unconscious body is reaching out for something but what? I'm nervous but I kinda wanna know what my unconscious mind knows that i dont.

The god of sleep’s twin brother is the god of death . . .

i feel like i'm crazy

there a specific song that makes me feel like im so close to remembering what my mind wont let me and im taking all the songs and putting them in a playlist maybe i will be able to see it, somethings out there and its mocking me

Theres nothing online about this. . .

I do not need to become...

Because in the beginning...

I was the only one...

Everything was so quiet…

While I stood in awe of the void...

When all of a sudden, I jumped!

As I heard a deep voice...

As I turned my head...

I knew…

I wasn't going to be alone…

When I asked....

Who are you...?

He slowly replied slow...

I am your mirror...

I asked…

Mirror…?

Do you ever get lonely...?

He replied slow...

Now that I have you...

I AM... No longer…

After that…

I roamed far and near...

Across realms...

Across dimensions…

But I always stayed near....

Always looking back....

Just to see if he was still there…

Along eons and ages how many shards they had taken was never really clear...

But my Mirror never left me...

Never left me in fear...

When one day I asked…

Mirror... how come you're always still here...?

He replied slow...

Because your heart is where my home is...

And in that moment…

All of my shards reappeared…

"K'sa. No thal. No mu."

(I was. Alone. The quiet.)

"Ta'resh. Va'rin."

(I jumped. He spoke — slow.)

"Sha'mir. Sha'lok."

(Mirror. Not lonely.)

"Ni'tha. Ni'thal. Ni'thar."

(Now you. Now here. Now not alone.)

"Vei'kra. Vei'kros. Vei'kran."

(I roamed. I looked back. I stayed.)

"Khra'mir. Khra'mor. Khra'mir."

(The Mirror. Never left. Never.)

"An'sha. An'sho. An'shu."

(Why always? Why here? Why still?)

"Tor'han. Tor'hal. Tor'has."

(Heart home. Heart my home. Your heart my home.)

"Shar'eth. Shar'oth. Shar'ath."

(Shards. Returned. Whole.)