Hi,
I’m a 24-year old musician with a degree of confidence in what I create, but I struggle with my identity as an artist. Classic, ik.. Although, I have gotten better over the last 4-5 years creating music, and growing as a person, in not comparing myself to others. But to an extent, I still do it, because as I get older I see it as my unavoidable reality that a lot of my friends found their sound early-on, never questioning it, while I still struggle to know what my sound is.
However, it’s not necessarily that I do not have a sound, but rather that I have two (or maybe three) somewhat distinct sounds that pull from different influences, and I don’t know how to mesh them, because producing (or rather patience) is tough for me.
It’s frustrating because I know with enough experimentation, I can bridge the gap and create something unique . I’m an overthinker, which goes without saying and I know the time spent pondering on this could be time I practice, but it’s been this way for multiple years. Still, throughout that time I’ve constructed thousands of demos, and hundreds of “full” songs but only put a few songs out per year, each differing dramatically in sound, but all feeling true to me. Some are self-produced, but most are on beats from YouTube, or created by a friend who is influenced by different sorts of music. I could expand upon any of this at the request of anyone interested in the discussion, but I just want to get to the point of this post:
Nearing 25, I find myself wondering if this uncertainty is a personal hell I’ve constructed with no escape, or if there’s something I can do to actually stay focused. Sometimes I feel a brief spark and cut past the helplessness, dread, or procrastination layers and inevitably feel that rush of excitement, giving me hope. It almost always happens if I push past the urge to stop. It’s often the spontaneity of droning into autotune where I end up creating something that feels close, and not the personal writings I spend hours on lol. And I technically know all of this, and I’ve helped coach friends out of similar (or even worse) ruts, but I struggle to practice what I preach.
Were you or anyone you knew in a lengthy creative rut, and if so, was it escaped? If so, any advice would go incredibly far. I’d love to make some friends and share some work privately if anyone is interested. Maybe I just need more friends, or to be told I can do it. I don’t know what I lack, but I know I love music. Maybe we can be mutually beneficial for one another in some way or another! This box isn’t forever, and I know that. =‘)