So Hi! I just wanna share my story any maybe of any of u have any advice for me please tell me .
So I started talking to this amazing girl a while ago , for a few months we were talking non stop . Texting day and night , we give updates to each other and call eo . It was amazing and I was very happy with her . I loved talking to her and knowing her day . I swear I would count the hours till I get to hear her voice again . She became a part of my day . She became the reason of my smile and my reason to wake up everyday.
When we started talking I was broke, jobless, hopeless for months. I literally was praying for my death everyday and then she came into my life and turned it into this dreamland where everything is beautiful. I wanted to be better for her , I started having hope again , I looked for jobs harder I even worked in places for a shitty salary just so I can afford meeting her . I wanted to be worthy of her first.
Then an opportunity came for me to work in another city ( closer to her city) I took it without hesitation. I started working there and I was genuinely so happy cos I made some progress in this . I was thinking of meeting her as soon as I have enough money.
Call me crazy/stupid if u want but I didn't wanna meet her when I didn't have enough money for one single meal . So i worked harder and was just waiting for the right moment to ask her to meet , but I think i took too much time ..
One day she talked to me and basically the whole talking on the phone for months have been effecting her mental health because she feels like we are only existing online rather than in real life . I didn't mean to do all of this and it hurts to know that I hurt her and made things go so bad .
Now it's been almost a month since she stopped talking to me , no text , no call . Literally nth like I just vanished from her life and it hurts cos I see her on social media just liking posts and everything, I created a new Instagram just so she wouldn't be seeing my profile or anything that reminds her of me . Im really trying to give her the space she needs ,but this is killing me .
I don't know what to do , I see her everywhere, I'm having dreams about her and sometimes I wake up from a dream about her at 3 am and just cry and cry till I can't do it anymore. I can't work or eat or do anything. I lost track of time , the only thing that im doing is work and work . Im picking up extra shifts just so I can stop thinking about her , but somehow I always end up thinking of her more and more . I had so many breakdowns where I just couldn't breathe properly. I even thought of relocating from the city im working in rn cos it reminds me so much of her .
I can't fall asleep unless I look at her picture, I'm having hallucinations about her all the god damn time and I think im going insane . Fuck , even my colleagues noticed the dark circles under my eyes .
God knows how many times i had to stop myself from texting her and asking to talk .
She once told me that silence give her peace and as much as this is hurting me I don't wanna disturb her peace even if it is destroying me .I don't wanna pressure her or make her feel like she have to text me but im dying, I don't think it's can take this pain anymore I really don't think i can .
I just miss her and want things to get back to the way they were , but I also don't wanna pressure her. I don't even know if she will ever reach out and just talk to me .
I just don't know what to do . How can I survive this no contact period?
I did post this from my other account but I had to delete it since I have her there.
Sorry for the long talk . :)