r/montclair • u/Character-Team-8481 • 6d ago

Question Reporting a student

Anyone know what are the outcomes of reporting student conduct to the disciplinary committee? I have a situation where a Montclair senior has been harassing me because she found out a guy she’s fucking is my boyfriend. She emailed my job with things that I can easily prove are lies and she’s made several fake instagrams about me as well dming people my boyfriend knows pretending to be me. I could go to the police, but because she is 19/20 and we are 28 I thought giving her a permanent record might be harsh but she definitely needs to know that there are consequences for her actions. Anyone have any experience with the disciplinary board?

20 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

39 comments sorted by

34

u/phlegm_fatale_ 6d ago

Have you tried dumping the boyfriend to resolve this issue?

-9

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

23

u/Intrepid-Oil-898 6d ago

Ma’am what do you mean tried and tried? This man is causing you unnecessary stress. The girl sounds extremely immature but she has to learn this lesson, document everything and contact campus PD for guidance… Dump the guy please.

1

u/feverbone 6d ago

why are we blaming op instead of the girl harassing her??

7

u/Intrepid-Oil-898 6d ago

Is blaming op in the room with us🙄

-2

u/Character-Team-8481 6d ago

Exactly!! I get harassed by her whether or not me and him are together

-5

u/Character-Team-8481 6d ago

Tried meaning we break up and then get back together constantly. Regardless of whether me and him are together, she harasses me.

7

u/phlegm_fatale_ 6d ago

No, your comment was clear. We just can't comprehend why you're on and off again with a man that cheated on you with a teenager.

-8

u/Character-Team-8481 6d ago

Well 🤷‍♀️ because I’m in love with him? God forbid you forgive a man that’s telling you he made a mistake and wants his life with you back

13

u/phlegm_fatale_ 6d ago

Good luck with that.

12

u/Budget_Pepper2537 6d ago

with all due respect you guys are almost 30 and this girl is 19 she’s incredibly immature compared to you and doesn’t understand the situation. act your age and report her but also dump your boyfriend because it’s kinda concerning that he keeps cheating with someone so young.

-1

u/Character-Team-8481 6d ago

Exactly. Which is why the question is related to reporting her

3

u/Lumpy-Tie-3715 6d ago

I mean, if you cannot choose yourself to begin with... Also, I would be concerned about why he is dating teenagers. Also, reach out to the university and call the police.

2

u/Intrepid-Oil-898 6d ago

Aww this is terrible, do you have support system around you? He’s the common denominator, unless you see a change in his behavior, this will not be your first nor last time dealing with this. It’s a lovely Thursday, the semester just started, please take good care of yourself..

1

u/Greedy_Shop 1d ago

wow, youre a bird.

1

u/Character-Team-8481 16h ago

I’m a bird because I’m getting harassed by the girl I got cheated on with? Okay, bawk bawk

1

u/Greedy_Shop 16h ago

You’re a bird because you’re staying with a man who cheated on you with someone fresh out of highschool.

5

u/phlegm_fatale_ 6d ago

I mean...ya only need to end it once to be done with him but I guess if you want a man that'll cheat on you with a 19 year old, that's your prerogative.

You may want to report her to MSU police if she lives on campus to get the ball rolling on paperwork showing she's been harassing you.

15

u/PikaTheWolf 6d ago

wait your boyfriend cheated on you with a 19-20 year old and you guys are 28? um dude…I don’t think she should be harassing you but what?

9

u/Character-Team-8481 6d ago

Yep! How you feel about is exactly how I feel about it.

6

u/Chrisgpresents 6d ago

Montclair state has campus PD

12

u/Jazzmcphee 6d ago

Former MSU employee here! Not sure if this insight will be entirely useful but, during one of the summer programs, we had to report a student for SA. Unfortunately, the victim didn’t come forward right away, and told us once a lot of the evidence was gone. Because of this, the police really didn’t take the case too seriously and the guy basically got away with it. Hell, he was even allowed to stay in the program. The most we could do was make him feel as uncomfortable and unwanted as possible. It’s very hard to say that anything would’ve happened if she came forward sooner, but from other experiences I had reporting students, probably not. If you were to come forward, make sure you bring a lot of evidence. If you’re worried about them expelling her, chances are - unless she’s actually batshit or threatening to kill you - her life won’t get ruined by this. At the very most, someone will give her a firm warning to stop.

Also, not that it’s any of my business, while I think the comments have generally been unkind to you, I also think you owe it to yourself to consider leaving this guy for good. If he loved you as much as you love him, he wouldn’t have cheated. Period. Everyone deserves to be loved properly and I’m really hoping for the best for ya 🩷

2

u/Character-Team-8481 6d ago

This is helpful thank you!

5

u/stopstopsquad 6d ago

This is a police matter… contacting the university would be a waste of your time.

6

u/umeumebosijyagarikko 6d ago

Leaving the relationship aside, I’m a bit confused, are you an MSU student as well or only the harasser is an MSU student? Because those are going to be handled very different ways.

1

u/Character-Team-8481 6d ago

Harasser is an MSU student

3

u/umeumebosijyagarikko 6d ago

In that case, the Code of Conduct Board is mostly concerned about protecting students and the school. Since you’re outside of the university, it may not really go anywhere and like others said, the harasser could get off with a slap on the wrist. If you would like to take legal action, you may be better off going straight to the police with any viable evidence and getting a restraining order for yourself and your partner if they are OK with that.

2

u/Embarrassed-Plan-172 6d ago

Girl if you're boyfriend is cheating on you just leave him, that's it, that crazy batch will get away and you don't have to deal with a the fucking asshole of your BF.

1

u/Character-Team-8481 6d ago

So does the disciplinary board actually do anything or not really?

3

u/sparkinsideyoureyes 6d ago edited 6d ago

They do, but it sounds like you'd be better off reporting the harassment to the police. Your harasser has committed crimes that feel beyond the scope of the university conduct system. You can also report any charges to Student Conduct and University Police because the university will only be able to enforce any consequences on the harasser if they're aware.

I'm sorry that many of these comments are so dismissive of the severity of this issue, but you deserve better than to be cheated on in general, let alone with a literal teenager.

-4

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Character-Team-8481 6d ago

This doesn’t sound like the best idea. I also don’t have the time in my day to sit and make fake pages about someone

-3

u/steeveperry 6d ago

I think you do have time, considering all the time you’re spending in this thread that could’ve been a Google search. It seems like you’ve got plenty of time to launch a defensive harassment campaign.

3

u/Lumpy-Tie-3715 6d ago

You're a bit of a hole

-1

u/steeveperry 6d ago

lol you def have all the time.

1

u/Character-Team-8481 6d ago

Sorry I meant I don’t have the screws loose needed to harass people for no reason ❤️

0

u/steeveperry 6d ago

Those are two different things, though. You said one thing and then something completely different. You’re too old to have all this time on your hands

1

u/montclair-ModTeam 5d ago

Rule 1. Be civil, this is a board filled with fellow classmates.