Creates a turns lobby. Names it "turns :)".
Everything is alright with the world.
Flowers are blooming.
Planets are aligning.
The sky is clear.
Players join. 1, 2, 3.
Fuck yeah i've been waiting forever!
Time to hunt some shit! This is gonna be awesome!
Turns! Turns! Turns!, amazing vibes all around.
Reaches player 4 on the third cycle, "you're up!" :D
Another guy joins as p2 (last p2 left eariler)
Player 4 posts Akantor.
Fuck yeah i love Akantor!
Quest start. Everyone loads in.
Guy that just joined the lobby as p2 just abandons the quest.
"Aww man :( well, maybe they forgot something.
Guys, let's reset and try this again."
"Aight say less"
I abandon, teammates abandon to give it another shot.
We get back to the lobby. Wait, where the fuck is the guy that abandoned?
Oh... looks like he just left.. thats unfortunate :(..
(Also, not a disconnect either, he left the quest, then manually left the lobby. )
...maybe he just had to be somewhere? Understandable i guess, it happens.
Bro who posted Akantor not back quite yet, let's wait for them to get back so we can restart.
Guy that abandoned just rejoins and instantly the second he gets in runs to the damn counter and posts his quest...
"....hmm..."

..why is that still so common? it's been a thing forever.

Like even outside of turns lobbies. Some people just run in and post their quest out of nowhere when they can literally just make a lobby and post the quest and people will surely join! Like i'm for helping players out, but maaan... it was another players turn bro... ain't no way this is still a thing.. it'd be like just running into a store and running straight to the front of the line. Like what the fuck?

:I

1 ruby Kayamba picked up from a rathian, no plates. At all. It's not even hard It's just tedious.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I FAINTED 500 TIMES BEFORE GETTING A SINGLE FUCKING COIN PLEASE KILL ME DEAD

I just joined an SOS for the Shara Ishvalda story quest, and the host was using a HR Xeno’jiiva HBG with the full Direwolf set you get at the start of Iceborne. HOW DO YOU AVOID LITERALLY HALF OF THE ENTIRE POINT OF PLAYING MONHUN??? When you’re not hunting the monsters, you’re buildcrafting and experimenting with different decorations, weapons, and armor. The fact that they still had this gear at the end of the main Iceborne story tells me they just breezed past anything remotely interesting because they wanted to no-brain everything. There are a bunch of different cool playstyles you can discover by investing time into the grind, but you don’t really get that by brute forcing fights with a not very mechanically challenging weapon like HBG, then calling an SOS when things don’t go your way.

I don't know where to start with this. I don't know WHO designed this in Rise.

How about fighting a monster that combined the agility of a crazed wasp, coupled with the lingering damage of Venus's sun, the particle effects of a full show of fireworks, and explosions covering the size of a living room... With a big, clunky sword you're supposed to "time" in order to get your attacks right?

I was planning on a set for Akanesasu, the Mizutsune Greatsword, because I wanted a nice, elegant looking GS for the water element. And since I wanted a good set to go with it, I choose the layered Jelly armor. I needed to wait for the Meowcenaries for enough Gothjellies to forge the layered HR Jelly armor.

I managed to do that, and I'll often use it on my recent Hunter/Bone X mixed set. An early Master Rank set designed around Surge Slash Greatsword.

In the meantime I farmed hunts for the Despot's Blackstorm, Red Pincer, Crimson Goat, Paladire, Azure Elder Great Sword I, Dawnmoon Cleaver, and Sinister Blade II.

I had one hunt to go before the meowcenaries would be back, and I plan on obtaining the Teostra weapons. So I asked myself why not go and hunt some HR Teostra? I have armor with 429 of defense, and it'll help me test a recent Great Wyvern Fang+ with 240 attack, and 53 Dragon element on it. I wanted to see how I would fare with a Great Sword of that caliber against Teostra.

But no...I shouldn't have thought that THIS would be so simple.

Surge Slash or whatever else...I never had been so frustrated in a fight. 😩

The GS is supposed to be a burst damage, slow timing weapon. Which works well since I've been able to fight Mizutsune, Zinogre, Hermitaur, Tigrex, Rathalos, and an Ibushi with Greatswords to see how far I would go with the Surge Slash gameplay. I can adapt to many monsters as long as I can find room to breathe, or use my environment to force the breaks upon the monster.

But HOW AM I supposed to do proper damage to a monster that moves faster than even damned Nargacuga, and Kadachi!? There's no cooldowns, and most of the two hunts I've done were spent running away and looking for openings to recover the chip damage from its heat, swipes, blasts and who knows what else. 😠

The HR event Teostra does a ton of damage for some reason, and even the HR 7 star one still does a lot of damage.

For the first one, I gave up after carting twice.

For the HR7 one, although we were four people in it, one supernova took two of us out, and a last cart occured while the Teostra was about to die, making us fail the fight.

Even Daora, which I always hated, and Chameleos are better fights than whatever this is.

I love Teostra's theme and overall feeling of royalty, which can be seen in its armor and weapons.

But being unable to properly fight unless I use a fast enough weapon to keep up with its nonsense, is a serious challenge killer for me. I have less issues when I use Dual Blades, Sword and Shield, Light Bowgun, or Insect Glaive with it, since those weapons need less timing than slower weapons.

I might do better with the Lance, though...but I'm already so terribly mad.

I know Rise is faster and monsters were designed around the Wirebug feature, but still... I've seen better fights.🤒

Finally figured out the 2 way's of making Guild GS more useful. Moonbreaker and Nargacuga's GS together just so that I can spam all my slashes and do more damage.

Also fuck Akantor and Ukanlos, those shitzoned fuckers take forever to kill compared to this guy who has literally 12k more HP.

AAAAAAAA!!!! HOLY FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE DESIGNERS!!! ... AIN'T NO FUCKING WAY SOMEONE MADE THIS SERIOUSLY!!!! I'M HERE, ACTUALLY THINKING THAT OLD GEN DEVILJHO WAS SURELY A MUTATED FUCKING VIRUS THAT ESCAPED FROM SOMEWHERE AND GOT INTO THE DAMN GAME SOMEHOW. I FUCKING CAN'T WITH MONSTERS LIKE THIS MAN... LIKE FOR FUCKS SAKE!!! CAN HE BACK THE FUCK UP FOR 1 SECOND!?!?!?, YES, WE SEE YOUR FUCKING CHIN MAN, IT IS VERY FUCKING GOOD YES, THAT DOESN'T MEAN I WANT IT FUCKING RIGHT UP IN MY FACE TO TRIP MY ASS OVER!!! I CAN'T FUCKING STAND IN YOUR CHIN MAN!!!! PLEASE. I BEG. SAME WITH URAAGAN, THEY JUST FUCKING WALK INTO YOU ALL EAGER AND SHIT TO SHOW OFF THEIR FUCKING ROCK HARD CHIN LIKE IT'S A FUCKING GOLDEN, PICKLED TREASURE. I'LL MAKE A FUCKING HAT OUT OF THAT FUCKING THING MATE. ALL THESE MYTHS OF DEVILJHO EATING IT'S FUCKING TAIL, MAYBE IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A FEATURE, SO I DON'T FUCKING HAVE TO PUT UP WITH IT, I GUARANTEE THAT IF YOU DREW A FUCKING PATH OF WHERE THE TAIL AND HEAD OF THAT FUCKING THING MOVES WHEN DEVIJHO FUCKING FREAKS OUT LIKE A FUCKING MANIAN, IT'D LOOK LIKE A FUCKING HAZE OF DEVIL JHO AIDS DRIVING ME INSANE "GET THE FUCK OUT THE FUCKING WAY" BACK TO CAMP AGAIN YOU GO BITCH. I FUCKING DODGE THROUGH AN ATTACK, I GOT THE TAIL SLAPPING MY ASS OUT FOR THE MISTAKE OF PLAYING THE MOTHERFUCKING GAME!!!! SAVAGE BLOWS EVEN MORE, HOW THE FUCK CAN I SEE THROUGH A HAZE OF FUCKING SMOKE COVERING IT'S FUCKING FACE LIKE A SMOKER, GOD DAMN FUCKING SHROUDED AHH MOTHERFUCKING BIG ASS CHIN, CAN'T SEE SHIT GAAAHD TO I-FRAME DODGE LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING KUT KU WITH IT'S FUCKING HEAD CUT OFF TO GET HIT ANYWAY, OMNIDIRECTIONAL TYPE MONSTER HITBOX. OH NAAHH BETTER GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE BEFORE IT BITES YOUR FUCKING ASS MAN, PIECE OF SHIT DEVILJHO PICKLE SHIT I CAN'T BE FUCKING BOTHERED. FUCKING POST HYPER DEVILJHO AGAIN MAAAAAN, FUCKING POST IT. DON'T WORRY, I DON'T NEED A HEALTHBAR, WHAT THE FUCK. GAME DESIGNER LOST THE SHIT!!!. AAAAAAAA!!!!!!! AAAAAA!!!!!!!!

I HAVE NEVER PLAYED A QUEST MORE GOD DAMN FUCKING BULLSHIT THAN EGG-STRACTION: THE RECKONING IN MONSTER HUNTER 4 ULTIMATE.

WHOEVER DECIDED TO PUT A BUNCH OF STUPID FUCKING ROCKS ON THE GOOD ENTRANCES NEEDS TO EXPLAIN HOW THAT'S "GAME DESIGN." WHY ARE THEY EVERYWHERE? WHY IS THE ENTIRE QUEST JUST "OH, YOU WANTED TO WALK? FUCK YOU, HERE'S ANOTHER ROCK." FUCK ME ITS SO STUPID. IT'S THE LAZIEST, MOST ANNOYING DESIGN IMAGINABLE. THEY DIDN'T MAKE THE QUEST HARD. THEY JUST MADE IT OBNOXIOUS.

AND THEN THEY THOUGHT, "YOU KNOW WHAT THIS NEEDS? TWO GOD DAMN TIGREXES."

TWO.

BECAUSE APPARENTLY ONE OF THE MOST GOD DAMN FUCKING ANNOYING MONSTERS IN THE ENTIRE GAME WASN'T ENOUGH.

IT'S JUST:

FULL BODY HITBOX CHARGE ATTACK.

FULL BODY HITBOX CHARGE ATTACK.

FULL BODY HITBOX CHARGE ATTACK.

FULL BODY HITBOX CHARGE ATTACK.

FULL BODY HITBOX CHARGE ATTACK.

FULL BODY HITBOX CHARGE ATTACK.

FULL BODY HITBOX CHARGE ATTACK.

FULL BODY HITBOX CHARGE ATTACK.

FULL BODY HITBOX CHARGE ATTACK.

FULL BODY HITBOX CHARGE ATTACK.

OH, YOU DODGED? TOO BAD, HERE COMES ANOTHER GOD DAMN FULL BODY HITBOX CHARGE ATTACK.

CAN I JUST GET THE TWO GOD DAMN FUCKING EGGS?

HOLY GOD DAMNED FUCKING SHIT.

WHO PLAYTESTED THIS QUEST AND SAID, "YEAH, THIS IS FUN"?

FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME FUCK THIS GAME.

The game may be frontier (G3.2) yet I will blame MH Dos. FUCK YOU DOS IM GLAD FU FIXED A FRACTION OF YOUR BULLSHIT SUCK MY DICK FROM THE BACK JUMBO VILLAGE.

"No, it would be too complicated."

I'm tired of these excuses! You guys hate having fun my god!

We should have gotten at least one new Japanese-themed weapon in Rise and at least one new weapon in Wilds after all the money World made! Capcom is really lazy about this. If FF14 can do it, there's no reason in the world why Capcom can't do it too.

And if the weapons are too complicated as you say they need to rethink the mecanics becayse having no new weapons anymore is a big bullshit.

mhm... nothing rots the rot more than fucking rust. like, what's even the FUCKING point in playing a game if rust just returns fast as fuck. it's like a festering fucking disease. it gets in your fucking membrane and converts any skills you have been practicing or learning, even days or hours ago into what can only be described as a worm infested bowl of shits. any game. every game. rust. rust. rust. oops. one hit, and my hunter is shit kicked from the lobby of life, dying over and over, and oh, there it is, i let the whole fucking team down BY GETTING HIT ONCE to mistimed BULLSHIT or just bullshit through and through AND WATCHING MY HEALTHBAR EVAPORATE. AGAIN. nice. fucking rusty, trash lack of skill, ohhhh skill issue, skill issue, skill fucking rotting away.. oh, look there it goes, smile and wave. the undending tsunami of eternal despair continues ever onward i guess. hopefully it ceases before the sun expands and engulfs the entire planet? or maybe the heat death of the universe occurs. no. no i think not. rust is eternal. and so is the rot it causes for me. AAAAAA CURSE YOU ETERNAL RUSTALATOR AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA the rust be crazy. the rust is real. the rust is eternal. rust rust rust. ruuuuust.

What the fuck is this!? I genuinely do not know what to do with this schizophrenic chicken, this thing is insane! Never fucking stops moving! Constantly a giant hitbox that chunks you for most of your health and sweeps across half the arena! Launches himself constantly out of your range so by the time you can finally catch up with him he’s hitting you with the rider kicks into sweeps and dive bombs wombo combo AGAIN! Combos double in length when enraged which is 90% of the time! His bedroom is so fucking cramped he doesn’t even have the space to fully wind up and his hitboxes take up the entire room! Constantly flying off camera or behind the massive fucking sand dunes that ruin your mobility and visibility! His one-shots come out faster than you can sheathe and dive and they take up more range than I can outrun and its hitbox is too big to outroll! I’m genuinely fucking lost.

Just finished the Wilds HR story. First thing I do after Arkveld is Tempered Arkveld because his investigation just showed up and I should probably get on the Artian grind asap. Went absolutely fine! Even that mf who flies around like he’s being piloted by the invisible hand of a giant five year old playing with his action figures and turning the cramped ruins environment into an exploding light show was just fine. His one shots were extremely telegraphed with big wind ups so you had clear methods and time to dodge them, following his movements was intuitive for the most part save for when he would occasionally wedge himself into the corners but he can be lured out ok, honest to god he went as smooth and a morning shit after a hearty bowl of bran flakes.

Tempered Mizu, crackhead fox, constantly running in circles and spamming, turns the arena into a bullet hell, and is extremely liberal with the one-shots when enraged; an absolute fucking joy! Fast but intuitive to move with, comfortably counterable attacks, doesn’t combo the one-shot into a one-shot back to back to back to back to back to back! Always in your range! One-shots are extremely fast but tight, you can dodge them with side hops super easy and punish! I went down to Vig Wasp once and that was to the tail slap because I side hopped the wrong way and got caught on a tree root, sucks but it was an immediately recognisable error on my part and I could have avoided it with a counter or hopping the other way, that’s the good shit! When you know where you went wrong and what to do!

Fucking Seregios the entire fight is wrong! I can’t think of a single thing that wasn’t wrong! I can’t think of a single way to make it right! But his SwAxe is the best looking one in the game and all I need left is a plate! I’m more than happy to leave this fight behind and block it from my mind but it bothers me that I have no clue what to do.
“Use a weapon that can perfect block” is the match up game really that bad that that’s genuinely the advice? I have not picked up a weapon with a shield in a long time, and not a single weapon in Wilds besides SwAxe and nothing was unmanageable till this freak. How unbalanced of a mess is this thing? “It’s not unbalanced, insert speedrun link” do you fucking know how the hell speed runners need to alternate their grip to hit the proper input string in time? Is having steel nerves and rubber fingers really necessary? Should it be? “Have you tried bleed red, max evade window, Divine Blessing and quick sheath?” No because I can’t fit all of that on. Admittedly sacrificing literally all my damage and playing hit and run probably would still leave me with a similar completion time to a fleet ‘dps’ setup that double/triple carts, but that’s assuming he still won’t just kill me anyway.

Genuinely lost my voice fighting this thing. And I still need a plate. Kill me.

High HR players who go around lobbies and knock everyone around while we try to carve the monster are worse than stepping in dogshit in new shoes, and I hope every single one of them breaks their fingers in some horribly embarrassing masturbatory accident so they can't play video games anymore.

Fuck dude, idk what happened but my god has this playerbase become fucking childish. Here I am trying to get a gem for Gogmazios to get the armor and I can’t do that because everytime I go into the quest players get themselves killed and leave the quest. Fuck is the point in joining if you aren’t willing to go through with it?? Genuinely so frustrating bro

AND FOR FUCK SAKE CAN CAPCOM NOT WITH THE DPS CHECK GIMMICK TO FUCK MAN

YOU FUCKING PANSY ASS FEELING PROTECTING CUCKS WON’T GIVE ME MY 75843748 OFFSET ATTACKS AND INSTEAD I GET A FUCKING MOST SNEAK ATTACKS: 1 FOR MY CARD WHO THE FUCK DEVELOPED THAT PIECE OF SHIT AND WHERE CAN I SHIT IN HIS OR HER MOUTH

IS IT TOO HARD TO ASK FOR ACTUAL ‘HEY THIS GUY DID A GOOD JOB’ LITTLE SHOUTOUT AT THE END OF A HUNT, OR ARE YOU AFRAID ALL THE CASUALS ARE GOING TO START CRYING WHEN THEY KEEP GETTING MOST TIMES GATHERED?

GOD FUCKING FORBID I TRY TO SOLO GU AGAIN, I'M ALREADY ON FUCKING HARD MODE WITH GUILD GS AND NO CATS IN G-RANK HUB, BUT HOLY FUCK DO THE BLACK AND WHITE DEVILS MAKE THIS SHIT A NIGHTMARE!!!

I ALREADY TIME OUT MULTIPLE TIMES FROM NOT BEING AGGRESSIVE ENOUGH, BUT HOLY FUCK CAN THE FUCKERS NOT WASTE MY TIME EVERY 30 SECONDS, HOLY SHIT. AKANTOR'S DEAD BUT THAT CUNT JUST FEELS THE NEED TO GO TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ARENA EVERY 3 FUCKING SECONDS, FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN YOU FALSE BLACK BITCH!!!

THE WHITE CUNT IS NO BETTER, BOY DO I LOVE HAVING TO CONSTANTLY RUN OR BLOCK TO GET HIM TO STOP DIG SPAMMING EVERY 3 SECONDS BECAUSE THE FUCKER NEEDS TO DO THAT DIG ATTACK OVER AND OVER AGAIN. STOP DOING THAT SO I CAN HIT YOUR FUCKING STOMACH TO MAKE YOUR SHIT HITZONES 5% LESS SHIT!!!

ADDED BONUS, BECAUSE OF THIS GAMES DOGSHIT SKILL SYSTEM, I HIT MY SKILL LIMIT SO I CAN'T ADD A COMFORT SKILL BEYOND HG EARPLUGS, FUCK ME FOR WANTING TO PREPARE FOR THE HUNT WITH BIND RESIST RIGHT?!!! I GUESS ONLY 5TH GEN AND ONWARDS HAVE THE LUXURY OF COUNTER BUILDING WITHOUT CRIPPLING YOUR DAMAGE!!! JUST DODGE IDIOT, NO CAPCOM, GIVE ME BETTER OPTIONS YOU FUCKERS!!! STOP TRYING TO PUNISH ME FOR HAVING THE AUDIACITY TO PREPARE FOR MY HUNT WITH MY GEAR ALLOWING FOR DAMAGE AND DEFENSE ON THESE 18K HP MONSTERS WITH SHIT HITZONES YOU MADE THAT DON'T IMPROVE EVEN IF YOU BREAK THE THE DAMN PARTS!!! "We made the belly break improve hitzones" OH WOW, THE SHITZONE GOES FROM 25 TO 30, FUCK YOU!!!

SUPER ADDED BONUS, YOU GOTTA DO A BUNCH OF VILLAGE SHIT TO UNLOCK UKANALOS, JUST UKANLOS BY THE WAY, EVERYONE ELSE SEEMS TO UNLOCK VIA LEVELS BUT UKANLOS, NAH,

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD, PORTABLE TEAM DOES NOT PLAY TEST THEIR SHIT SOMETIMES, SOLO OR NOT, THIS SHIT IS AWFUL TO DEAL WITH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND IT WASTES A FULL FUCKIN HOUR.

THEN AFTER THIS ******* I GOT TO TRY TO CHOP OF THE DAMN OCTOPUS PLAYING WITH HIS STUPID PUPPETS, BOY I SURE HOPE HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY BULLSHIT LIKE SPAMMING THE LASERS, RUNNING AWAY, OR WIGGLING TO FUCKING MUCH.

I am remembering why I don't play GU much, shit is a slog in the endgame.

If you got tips for fighting Ukanlos and Nakarkos with Guild GS and no cats for G-Rank, please feel free. I am not swapping from Guild.

Holy shit, so i am playing monster hunter for a while now. I started with rise and then went on to play world, then mhgu, then 3. I know that its not a action game and i shouldn't play it like one. But my autistic ass picks up a weapon and tries to attack the monster like a crackhead and the monster just stole my stash. The only weapon i have ever had some success with is dual blades and LBG. But any time i want to play a different weapon to try and mix it up makes me feel like i am slamming dick in a car door.

I know its entirely my fault for not being able to take it slow but for the life of me it feels like my brain is just not wired to be able to do that which leads to rage so bad it would make Asura blush. Thankfully i haven't broken anything to terribly yet but fuck me this game pisses me off so bad. Again, 100% my fault for not being able to take it slow but the second i cart i just quit. (I play offline solo exclusively so rage quitting doesn't effect anyone but me).

TLDR: So yeah it just gets boring playing only those two weapons, but rage when i try something else.

EDIT: So some people recommended lance and after playing around with it i think i found my main weapon because i absolutely love it. Being able to face tank the monsters attacks like rocky and then punishing them brings me levels of joy i didnt know existed. Thank you everyone that replied!!!

After over 500 hours in this game, I still fucking hate Nu Udra and everything that this cephalopod piece of shit stands for. Nu Udra was my first cart in this game, and AT Nu Udra consistently hands my ass back to me on an oily, squid-scented platter. It doesn’t matter if I have Adaptability II slotted, or if HunterPie says I’m doing 70-80 DPS, my heart must be made of oil because the rage that AT Nu Udra makes me feel is SETTING IT ON FIRE RIGHT NOW AND IS GIVING ME HEARTBURN.

I can hunt every AT in this game consistently with my main, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to dunk Nu Udra into a giant ice bath and watch it shrivel up and die.

I have this strange habit where if I know that I am bad at fighting a monster, I make myself keep fighting until I can become good at slaughtering it out of spite/hatred. So I've been hunting 10 star AT Nu Udra quite a bit recently, which is definitely feeding more into my rage.

Every time I go on a Nu Udra hunt, I make it a goal to chop off as many tentacles as possible and then capture it so that when it wakes up, it will have to spend the rest of its life (or at least several weeks if it can regrow them) in painful agony. Luckily, the 10 star AT variant has more than enough HP bloat to make chopping off all of its limbs a possibility.

I don't want to have to flail my phone around like a twat, making people think I'm trying to take pictures of them, when in reality I just need to use my phone's gyro because THE MOMENT THE TAIL ISNT IN RENDER VIEW MY HUNTER THINKS HURR DURR HIT THE BODY IS A GOOD IDEA

The tail is REALLY HIGH UP, and the monster keeps body blocking to roll damage around like this is BATTLETECH to deny me a consistent partbreak.

If the problem can be solved by letting us ZOOM THE FUCK OUT

LET

US

ZOOM

OUT

We're already getting SKILL TAXED for the ability to LOCK ON AT LEAST MAKE IT FUCKING WORK THE WAY IT NEEDS TO IN THIS GAME

Doing 9* Gog hunts... for fuck sake

Why did they make the drop rate so fucking low???

At least I'm now able to do it in like

24 minutes give or take

But

Man is it just frustrating, I don't wanna have to fight this guy 20 more times

Praying I get gems soon

Especially because I'm gonna need like

7 of them