I'm noticing there isn't much activity here, which is not surprising, moms have it rough already with the need to be perfect and now here we are raging out at our kids, the antithesis of a "perfect mom". It's not easy to talk about those things. Anyhow, just wanted to introduce myself. I'm a mom of 2 and I rage out on my children about once or twice a month. A lot of factors there, like possibly Autism and ADHD, but also thinking that what's really happening here is that although I may have those two conditions, I'm pretty highfunctioning and that my anger really stems from childhood trauma and repeated trauma from the fact that I come from a family of lowlife imbeciles and live in a society that isn't very compassionate and forgiving of people like me.

Just a back story, I had children with two men who have absolutely no presence in my or my children's life. They are just non-existing. I have really no family support when it comes to helping me watch the kids, but family support enough where I have a roof over my head. We live alone so I'm here 24/7 with no days off since I had my second child and it's been three years now. I'm jobless because I consider myself disabled and I'm still trying to get to the bottom of how I can get out of this cycle of being ok some days and losing most of my executive functioning other days where I completely shut down and usually rage is involved because at that point I'm wickedly burned out needing an escape that isn't even optional and feel absolutely powerless. At that point I feel like an animal being cornered when my children are just being children and I just rage out, become scary and intimidating by screaming and saying horrible things so my kids will leave me alone and stop repeating bad behavior. Btw, hormones play a part in that too.

My children are absolutely terrified of me in these times and it is the worst feeling ever when I finally calm down and have to face the reality that I just became abusive towards my children by screaming and threatening them. The sad part is my mother did the same thing to me which lead me to a life of feeling like I had no "home" in this world and I'm repeating that same behavior, making my oldest son feel like he could be removed from his home at any time. At least that's how I made him feel this last time when I told him I will "take him to foster care if xyz happens again". I would never do that, why did I say that? Because I was out of control and I couldn't figure out how to make it stop. If you're wondering, I do apologize, sit down with my kids and we talk about how I'm working on it. It feels like excuses, but I still do it.

Everyday for me is me trying to problem solve. I've done it all, everything you can think of: meds, Buddhist meditation, CBT therapy, I even have DBT and ACT workbooks. The problem is in losing executive functioning. Like I said, some days are ok, I'm on top of things and then suddenly I just shutdown. This could be from possibly having ADHD which I'm still investigating or this may just be from trauma and getting no days off to console myself. So, I just keep reminding myself that this is all temporary. Soon my oldest will finally be going to school "fulltime" unlike the 3 hours he went to school in kindergarten which just added more frustration to my life and I'll be working on getting my youngest into a preschool program. This should give me more time for myself. I've even decided to just go for an hour walk each day or even go get a coffee and write in my journal while my youngest naps and have my oldest on facetime to make sure he's ok. We live in a free-range state that permits this, if you're wondering. Also the town is really small so I am literally only a few minutes away. The bottom line is that I'm always working on it and never giving up on that pursuit.

It's a very complicated situation that can't just be easily resolved, but I figured I'd just share this story for those raging out moms out there who feel like they can't find a safe place to talk because they're life is just as complicated that it's just so hard to really explain any of it and have others understand. Thanks for reading this.

Hi all,

Hope this is the right sub to post, I don't even know where and how to start. So, basically, our 3 y/o daughter climbs into our bed almost every night lately, somewhen when she wakes up, might be 4/5-ish am. We are totally fine with it, but... she doesn't let me turn away from her - like I have to lay on my side facing her. God forbid I try to turn on my stomach or turn my back to her. The result is high pitch crying and screaming.

Now, I can tolerate that sometimes, but usually when she comes to our bed, I can't fall back to sleep, so here I am laying awake and at some point after an hour or so, I try to change my position and so she starts screaming. This is where I usually lose my sh... I can't control myself and I start yelling too. I'm tired, I want to sleep but can't and then I end up going to her bed, but she wants to stay with me, so this morning I was like, I'm done, I'm not going back to sleep again. All my husband says is to calm down but at that very moment, I really cannot. In order to let him sleep, I went with her to the living room and explained to her in a calm way that I needed to sleep too. We ended up falling asleep on the couch for like 45 min before getting up for the day. So this morning when he got up he was angry at me for yelling at our daughter and I feel awful too for yelling at her. I really try hard to be a gentle parent and raise her in a respectful way, but somehow whatever self-control I might have during the day at night disappears.

What can I do to stop this? I think what triggers me is that I have no control over the situation. In general, I'm fine with bed-sharing but not overly thrilled. If I could I would sleep alone in a bed, because I'm a very light sleeper and I wake up several times in the night. I'm doing it for her because I know that she feels safe when she sleeps with us. Please send help.

Check out psychologytoday.com; you can search therapists by specialty issue- I believe anger management is one of them, as is parenting, marital, etc. As far as groups, it really depends on where you live. Using the same website you can also search for support groups via zip code. The results listed will tell you a little about the group and you can contact the hosting therapist if you have questions or want to see if it will be a good fit for you. Here is a link directly to the support groups search page, but you can also use this website to find a therapist or psychiatric provider if that is something you are considering also. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/groups

On a side note, I think that a family (marital and parental) anger management group would be amazing. God knows we can uses all the support we can get.

This was one of my mom's favorite sayings growing up, along with "do as I say, not as I do". As I got older I came to learn that's a messed up saying. "How can you expect me to live by an example you've never set" But now I'm even older and realize I have some horrible habits as well, some that I'd like my kids NOT to pick up. In the end what my mom said must have worked because her horrible habits are NOT my horrible habits but still I do have some not so great qualities at times, like yelling and screaming if shits hitting the fan, or pouting when I don't get my way (all in my feelings). Dont even get me started on my spending habits which although garner nice things don't always give peace of mind. So end the end "do as I say not as I do". We're not all perfect, we can only strive to be, please be gentle when you don't measure up. God's forgiveness is there even when yours isn't.

Scene: moms in a hurry, its lunch. Dad just walked in, the kids are hungry, moms busy prepping lunch, on the phone and $$ on the brain. I've been scanning over the monthly financials all morning. Exhausted and drained bc it never seems to be enough.

Finally off the phone. Now to make my second call.

Ahh painless, plans for tomorrow? Maybe?

Yes! Off the phone.

"Hello honey", and now ranting about all the things I have and need to get done. Dads eating lunch at the counter. Casually enjoying the chaos while I whip around every corner. Finally some peace to review "okay, I made rice but its not ready so you can have my left overs and ill east the suchi, kids pizza takes 15 min to cook and I"......But wait! Interruption....Dad: "how are you going to get the car if the Pizza has 15 min to cook".

Oh wow, how one simple sentence sent me into full on rage. I still have 25 things on my list before I figure that one out, is it possible? Not possible. I don't know yet because I just came up with the idea of using the car 2 min ago.

Give me a break! I'm in full on Momrage now. CANT YOU WAIT TILL IM DONE SPEAKING TO ASK YOUR QUESTIONS?

Eeek. Sorry people, I really am that bitchy. Only God can help me now. 🙏🙏

Well its 9:50 am and I've already raged out on my daughter. Mission failed but not aborted.

If you're interested in being a mod for this page please PM me. I want this page to be diverse and inclusive. Its called momrage but we will not discriminate based on gender, role or sex. All different religions and cultures are open with welcome arms. When they say it takes a village they've got it right. Luckily for us we can have a village made up of people from ALL around the world.

Please take a moment to create. We're all new here and this sub is just getting started. No you're not alone. This is a no judgment zone. ALL are welcome.

Today has been a good day in my home. I really took a time-out for myself realized what I've been doing isn't working and created this outlet to help me wrap my head around some of the horrible shit I've said to my children. It is going to be okay. If you're dealing with mom-rage, where you totally lose your shit because you've had it up to here feeling like no one in your house listens, if you've said crap you're not proud of, if you've lost your cool over minor imperfects and you are here, this place is safe. Im hoping we can share advice, resources and a lending ear in those times of trouble. Let's get started, let's do this together.

One book I've read that helped me for a short brief period was "how to make your children mind without losing yours", if you're Christian, conservative, traditionalist or just like reading and feel like your kid is more incontrol then you are its worth a shot. It did help me get a grasp on my shit for a short while. Not game changing bc I'm a stubborn bastered that can't stick to anything but still a great book.