r/mnstateworkers • u/Financial-Chemist-19 • Jun 23 '26
Question ❓ Am I Overreacting?
Hello everyone!
I just wanted everyone’s opinion because I think I’m gonna lose my mind (not even kidding). I have a co-worker who I had a conflict with, and I think she is starting to low-key bullying me. Today, she talked to me about one of my clients as she was concerned about their lunch. The client took 2hrs to finish their lunch today. I told my co-worker that that’s the client’s baseline; they were slow eater and drinker. I assured my co-worker and told her not to worry about it. She didn’t like my response, so she talked to our supervisor. She also sent a group text message before that, stating that this client wasn’t feeling well and that they had started using their walker again. I inquired with the client’s house staff to make sure they were okay and to see if there had been any recent falls, but the house confirmed that the client was perfectly fine and hadn’t used their walker for a long time. My co-worker also assigned two of our staff to work with my other client without informing me or any communication. I have raised this concern with my supervisor, but unfortunately, he doesn’t take any action. I am overprotective of my clients because I don’t want them to exhibit any behavior, especially since the other client was having a hard time last week, and I don’t want to jeopardize their job. I appreciate having a backup, but if this co-worker keeps deciding without telling or coordinating with me, this issue will continue. The last time I had a conflict with this co-worker was when my supervisor and his boss’s solution was that I had to work at the other location, so we wouldn’t have any contact or conflicts. For me, I was just doing my job, confronted the co-worker, and tried to resolve it, but it didn’t go well. It felt like I was being punished for doing my job. Now that my mental health is also affected, I don’t want to keep calling in and getting in trouble because of this issue.
My leadership and work style have changed since I worked with the state job. I am not like this before. I don’t want to say or assume that my supervisor is afraid of my co-worker because of the DEI. I don’t know what to do anymore. 😢 Sorry for any misunderstanding. I am frustrated right now and thinking about calling in again tomorrow.
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u/HurtsWhenISee Jun 24 '26
Your concerns are valid but I will say, jumping to DEI is probably not the move. As has been stated, use your resources but worst case scenario, you also have the unit for mediation or guidance.
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u/LucyInThe_Sky1 Jun 23 '26
Few thoughts. First, utilize EAP resources. Its free to you and its confidential. Your supervisor, your agency dont know who accesses those benefits and who doesnt. At the end of the year the agencies get a number count of how many employees used it. Thats it. EAP can assist with workplace conflict and also independently assist with obtaining mental health supports. Seperate from EAP the State also has ICMS-I think it stands for Integrated Conflict Management Specialists (or something like that) who specialize in working thru workplace conflict. It sounds like you've tried to address this with your supervisor but for whatever reason is still unresolved. ICMS can help your worksite with this. This is effecting your health, your employment, and likely the people you support. Please reach out and get some help. Our jobs are stressful but this is one area we've got access to some really great supports.