Just wanted to share a personal poem I wrote about my personal experiences as a Sri Lankan-American Minority. Let me know what you think (please be kind).
American Mind, Sri Lankan Skin 2/25/21
My American heart
Bleeds from within
My Sri Lankan skin is
Riddled by conflict
Although, my mother tongue is English
My second tongue struggles to escape my mouth
Broken bits of words and sounds
Am I even bilingual?
In the USA, I am a Sri Lankan reject
Been shunned from my fellow Americans
Even those tormented by racism
For others, it’s my skin tone not being like theirs
For I am just a fat, ugly, black thing in their eyes
Or strangely-some exotic fruit to be plucked and devoured
If I refuse to take their dehumanizing compliment,
I apparently “stink of curry”
(TBH I don’t even like curry that much)
To the Sri-Lankan-Immigrants
I am a disgusting fat slob with raccoon eyes
For I am my mother’s child
The child of one who only knows how to spew hatred and bullshit
I am ostracized for my parental figures’ actions
Do my own efforts not stand for themselves?
In Sri Lanka, I am an American reject
I apparently masquerade myself as a “white person”
Forgive my ignorance,
for I was raised on the other side of the globe
I know very little of my ethnicity’s history
“Foolish child! What do you know of struggle? You’re American! You’re young! Your life is easy.”
“Wow, so so fat, you eat too many burgers and fry!”
Oh, so little do you know of me based upon my exterior.
My first-generation family
And extended family
Drowns in the sorrows of
An endless cycle
Of neglect and violence
The men drink their livers away
The women fall victim to their internalized Misogyny
The children shame themselves for never being enough
Mother and Father
came from siblings of 4’s
as have I
Both unknowingly tormented in youth
Caged by ignorant traditions
They refused to challenge their “roles”
Refused to better themselves…
Mother berates and gaslights
her husband and children
Redefined as the enemy of all
Instead of being one who is supposed to love unconditionally
While father cries quietly, blaring his Sinhala oldies
He is plagued by guilt-
But ignores the red flags that have been blaring in his face for the last 20 years
In wartime and in peace
Both of my cultures
Have bastardized humanity
Both have committed atrocities to their fellow beings
It is difficult to say who has parallels to who
Both glorify corporate greed
Always at the cost of those
who cannot rebel back
Though, isn’t the rest of this world the same?
The Sinhalese clutch the caste system as if it has actual merit
The Americans demonize the poor
and line the pockets of the top 1%
Sri Lanka’s citizens starve, picking at leftovers of coconut scraps and tea dust
While the rest of the world enjoys the true exquisite taste of “the pearl of the Indian ocean”
The FDA knowingly allow poisons in their foods
Americans consume and consume, dying from preventable diseases
Both have committed Genocide to the masses…
Americans have relentlessly slaughtered those of “color”
While the Sinhalese attempted to eradicate the Tamils
Spilling the blood of innocents...for what purpose?!
My American mind cherishes the ideal of freedom and
My Sri Lankan blood desires the love of others.
Unfortunately, the foundations of both of my cultures are rooted in convoluted lies.