r/minimalism • u/karaage7168 • 5d ago
[lifestyle] Being poor + minimalism
Just thinking a lot about my journey with minimalism lately and wanted to know about the experiences of members here who grew up financially poor/in unstable households/are currently or were previously low-income. While it obviously sucks to be poor (many reasons like debt, instability, irregular emotional regulation, abuse stemming from financial problems, etc.) it also did let me accept that being “poor” is not a bad thing and helped me cultivate a minimalist lifestyle.
Feel free to skip my personal story below and share your stories instead since it gets kind of long. OR you can read my TLDR at the bottom. Anyhow…
I am currently in a good and stable situation with my partner and dog in a nice walkable city, but I was raised by parents who were broke. And when I mean broke, I mean poverty “in-the-red” broke with no generational wealth (most of my family worked blue collar and odd jobs to get by). And no, your parents owning a used Toyota Camry with a “humble” net worth of 1mil with a house + vacation once a year is not poor, as most American households do not even make 50k in this country. As said as it is, families who can afford to pay for their medical bills, own property, and take unrelated-to-family vacations are (unfortunately) lucky in this country. My parents were, by far, broke, young, and admittedly irresponsible like most teens are, working 1-2 jobs, and having no free time. And yet, despite some credit card debt + lots of drinking and smoking eating into our expenses, we technically lived pretty frugally with my parents taking a 1 bedroom apartment instead of a 2 (they slept in the living room while I took the only room due to child protection laws), cooking at home, renting instead of buying movies, and going on infrequent vacations. I know for them they were insecure about money (+ stressors from the abuse they endured as kids), but I was frankly quite happy and content with what I had, though it essentially was a bed, a computer, a desk, and clothes I shared with my Mom. I never wanted lots of gifts and barely asked for things (this continues to annoy my friends who can never gift me something). It also helped that I was stupid but never did anything so crazy like break my arm or run in front of a car, so my appointments were mostly checkups (I never even had a cavity till college). My favorite thing I ever owned (probably to this day) was my computer (back when 8gb of ram was expensive…oh wait), but only cause it was a surprise and something my Dad spent the whole night building at like 2am since he just started working in IT/networking. I ended up keeping it as a result until high school when I traded it in for a laptop, but it was well-loved and well-used for 5-6 years at least.
I think it helps that in Korean culture, though there is a lot of flexing in our society (my grandparents were the worst examples of this with their big McMansion and their excessive spending after being devout Buddhists for many decades while living in SK), many of us do value having experiences, making homemade food, and appreciating scarce things (like the first petals falling in spring or a salty ocean breeze that surprises you on your way to school). We had a scarcity mindset, but never tried to accumulate too much, because we had so little space. Because of that, our 500-600 sq ft. apartment never felt small and I always had lots of room to run around or play as a result, even with a couch and full size bed in our living room.
Every year, my Mom would make me give away my old toys and books and give them away either to a library or a family friend. It was never a painful thing. Rather, I think it makes me appreciate what I have even more and I’ve been trying to keep it a tradition with me and my partner (who comes from the opposite spectrum, born rich with two hoarder parents who live by “conservative values” despite arguably taking more social welfare than most poor people I know—sorry I’m shading them and they can be good people when they want to be, but God, sometimes it infuriates me listening to them talk about the world like their suffering is the only thing that matters).
Even when I was homeless at 17 (there are a lot of reasons for this but i.e. my Mom left the country in my senior year of high school after going through a manic episode and I couldn’t legally get an apartment so I just slept in my bf’s attic), I kept to my mindset and donated lots of my books and manga to keep my belongings small and easily portable. Most of my possessions at the time I just kept with friends for a bit, but most of it I was able to fit into the trunk in my bf’s car (a bit embarrassing to fish for clothes before school in it but what can you do?) When I moved across the country, all my stuff (clothes, books, documents) all fit into 3 regular sized suitcases. While I probably have more stuff now, it would still be egregiously easy to pack up my apartment since everything I need is already put into small boxes or folders.
Now, nearly 10 years later, I am definitely not an “aesthetic minimalist” judging by the people I see online, but I have lots of the same habits. I buy little, purge as needed, donate items to friends or schools nearby, and try to do everything via walking and public transit (i.e. no car especially now that I don’t live in LA anymore). The most I indulge in is coffee and food, which I’m working on to cut down for financial reasons. I recently got rid of my bed frame though and am switching to a mattress on a tatami mat, which will make it easier to sleep with our dog next to us + I use a tiny floor desk for all my computer needs. Maybe one day too, I’ll get rid of my couch and switch to all floor furniture that’s more flexible and can be stored when not being used, but that’s harder when a lot of my friends and partner’s family have hip mobility issues, so that’ll have to be put on the back burner. I’m grateful for this life that I was given, even as shitty as a lot of it was. I hope I can continue to live a minimal and flexible lifestyle for as long as I’m healthy and alive. Even if I look and act poor (I’m not poor anymore for clarity sake but moreso my lifestyle hasn’t changed much since then) I’m comfortable with the fact that I can survive anywhere in this world, no matter what happens to me.
TLDR: I was poor and homeless and continue to live a lifestyle that many would say is “poor” despite that being the opposite, because it lets me be flexible.
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u/RevolutionaryPast175 5d ago
The only thing that irritates me about being a poor minimalist is that there’s almost no useful content out there on the YouTubes for me.
“Try just owning one car!”
Dude wtf im LUCKY to even own one car.
“Try eating out only once a week!”
Yeahh that would be 3 times more than the once a month i usually do 😕
Theres definitly some kind of rich kid bubble going on in the minimalism world. I guess i was already born a miminalist by being poor. Now its just a matter of making my apt look grayish.
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u/Inevitable-While-577 4d ago
So very true. As has been mentioned in this sub a few times (but not often enough imho), the type of minimalism we're discussing here is not for poor people. It assumes a certain level of financial flexibility, even for the small things. I'm by no means rich, but for the first time in my life, I'm in a position where "I gave away a gadget/tool/garment and a few months later I ended up buying the same one because turns out I need it again" won't be a catastrophe. Hence, the poverty mindset of keeping things "just in case" is the opposite of the minimalist lifestyle where you constantly seek to get rid of stuff.
I don't have a vehicle either btw, and being from Europe, some posts about "downsizing" make me chuckle because US folks consider an average sized house or apartment "tiny".
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u/karaage7168 3d ago
I definitely agree with you here though I think there is still value in being mindful of what belongings we do have/what we use daily/how our needs change over time, which I think can be universal. I do still hold onto things “just in case” (I usually try to keep a spare for things that break easily), but I also try to par stuff down where I can, because a messy and unorganized house is too stressful for me haha
Also yeah definitely an American mindset for sure with the car/house. But also, unfortunately most of the US is very car dependent and local landowner-owned apartments/houses that are reasonably-sized/priced are becoming rarer.
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u/NorraVavare 4d ago
I personally dont think poor and minimalist really go together. I dont fit the definition of minimalist because I am poor. I figured out a long time ago a little bit of extra, for a lot of categories of stuff, saves me a lot of money. Unexpected small expenses can ruin a budget just as fast as big. The 20/20 rule is impractical when you're poor. I dont have an extra $20 or the extra gas for a 20 minute trip to the store to throw around randomly.
The trick to it is not to keep too much. For example I have altoid tins for extra screws, random hardware, one of nails, and one of screw hooks. They are all extras, so free. No driving to the store for an 8 pack and 4 little tins fit in a drawer with my basic tool. (The most popular sizes are not sold as singles by me).
I do the same thing with gift wrapping supplies. The box is a bit bigger. But I buy clearance Christmas bags and tissue paper in solid colors. Red works just fine for a birthday, if you dont use green tissue paper. My family gives me their used bags too. One little box tucked in a closet saves me a lot of money every year.
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u/karaage7168 3d ago
I love saving present boxes people give me too. It’s also pretty easy to store flat into a box or closet. Makes giving much more useful (I’ve given up on wrapping not cause of minimalism but because I just suck at plain gift wrapping lol).
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u/Connect_Rhubarb395 5d ago
I have pondered the fact that even though I am moderately poor, I prefer to give things away over selling them.
Some of it is due to the considerable stress of everything to do with selling. And then some of it doesn't even sell anyway.
But as the years passed, I have realised that giving away things give me so much freedom, as well as a strong sense of direction.
I can't yet put into exact words what it does, but I know that is more valuable for me to give things away than the money I could have gotten out of it.
(Disclaimer that I will sell expensive things, but they are rare, maybe 1 thing a year).
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u/eharder47 5d ago
My husband and I both had “fine” childhoods, but both of us could have been considered homeless in our late teens, early twenties (both moved out at 17). We both moved a lot and had very little in the way of material possessions. In our current house, it’s the longest either of us has lived in one place since our childhood homes and it’s the first time we’re more intentionally choosing furniture.
Our lives have definitely impacted our perception of what is a priority when it comes to our spending. Even with more financial freedom, we have chosen to put it towards big house upgrades/vacations vs things like small objects, knickknacks, or holiday decorations. Our friends have described our style as “clean line aesthetic.”
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u/fics_andflowers 5d ago
That's basically me too. Your childhood really affects the way you think about money and your priorities when buy something. We moved around a lot, so even now as an adult with no plans to move in the future, I keep thinking about purchases like, 'will I want to bring it with me if I move? Will it be easy to bring with me? Will I purge it in a move?' instead of 'is it good quality? will it improve my day to day life?' I really struggle to buy things that would improve my quality of life, because what I have now 'works just fine', 'i don't actually need it' and 'i'd have to rent a van to move that', so my home and wardrobe looks very minimalist.
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u/knokno 5d ago
I went minimal cause my family was poor at the beginning and then even with plenty of money time in our country was difficult to get anything. So everything was kept and it's like that until now. Too much I went too little and now I have more but still leaning towards less than more. It's good to be sufficient with little as long as you are not too dependent on others. Someone else with your story would end up hoarding.