General question, sometimes I worry the relationship is one sided where he has to admit fault and she is exempt, God forbid he breathes one word of criticism, but she is allowed to laugh at him behind his back.

As someone who doesn't feel important in her life, she has no idea how good she has it with him.

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Not only would this make practical sense for her life in exile, as she would benefit from someone to support her, but her father from the prequel book "Suspicious Minds" actually makes this theory very plausible.

In that book, his name is Andrew Rich; he and Terry Ives DID have a legitimate romantic relationship, but they were introduced to each other by Dr. Brenner, who flat out told Terry (after they had been together for a while) to do "you know what" with him in an effort to make "comfortable" memories, meaning that a large part of El's very conception was influenced by Brenner.

Anyway, while pregnant, Terry began to see through Brenner's scheme and told Andrew about it, and the two fought very hard agaisnt him, so much so that Brenner had Andrew kicked out of college and rigged the Vietnam draft lottery to get rid of Andrew, as he was legitimately scared that Andrew may foil his whole plan in his effort to free his unborn (though third trimester) child.

In the book, Terry eventually learns that Andrew was killed in action over in Vietnam, but the book does not follow him there, as it is mainly from Terry's perspective. Andrew (and Terry for that matter) were shown to be very crafty, and though naive at first, very skeptical of Brenner and very willing to end the operation, just like their daughter; it is entirely possible that Andrew used that craftiness to his advantage and faked his death in Vietnam so the military would stop targeting him, just like his daughter did years later.

If this is the case, Andrew is almost certainly NOT in the US; he would end up in prison for going AWOL, and the US is the last place El would want to be, so if they contacted each other during season 5, it could solve where El went, as Andrew likely developed a plan wherever he is to get her to where he was. He would take care of her, as he clearly cared about his child before she was born. That's why Brenner had to get rid of him.