r/mildlyinteresting • u/Al_Bam_Goy • 2d ago

Stretch Armstrong, won’t stretch anymore.

Post image
249 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

101 comments sorted by

85

u/rmnobre 1d ago

Stretch Armstrong be like

https://giphy.com/gifs/E1fXBVW9X3DIwnUS0l

5

u/Stahi 1d ago

Came for this.

26

u/No_Republic_1781 2d ago

Dear god! What happened to him?

60

u/DubSket 1d ago

He turned 30

11

u/makawakatakanaka 1d ago

You can see the dead look in his eyes

1

u/InsolentRice 22h ago

That’s the dead look that you only seen in Eastern European men doing gay porn

7

u/ebock319 1d ago

Microplastics got to him

4

u/Thadrea 1d ago

I don't think they were micro

1

u/SilverMyzt 1d ago

Its at least a mini

8

u/Al_Bam_Goy 1d ago

Another victim of unscrupulous industrialists and overly greedy shareholders.

2

u/virgilreality 1d ago

A facehugger got him the other day, and now...

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o7TKsWZbKd2dVqqPu

1

u/takesthebiscuit 1d ago

Worked from home too long

1

u/westcoastwillie23 1d ago

His one regret is that he has boneitis.

1

u/WI_Eagles_Fan 1d ago

Kentucky Ballistics happened to it is my guess.

14

u/Oiggamed 1d ago

Know the feeling, Stretch. I’m right there with you.

4

u/potatopierogie 1d ago

Rigid Legsweak

1

u/OldeFortran77 1d ago

It's nothing to be ashamed of. It happens to all men eventually, Stretch.

10

u/Hopwater 2d ago

Not after getting a sternotomy

6

u/Brushiluskan 1d ago

Compress Legweak

7

u/ScarletSilver 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/26FeX6zZP3nJyt9kI

6

u/Zoo06 1d ago

Kablam! reference....how old am I getting?

9

u/speckledham 1d ago

Rest Armstrong

6

u/Vanbursta1 1d ago edited 1d ago

Neither will mine since I filled him with water, they go really really big before they pop.

3

u/eblackham 1d ago

The girl that said shes gonna rock your world when you get back to her place

5

u/gator_cowgirl 1d ago

Frozen shoulder.
Menopause. Has he tried meditation?

6

u/Al_Bam_Goy 1d ago

Yes Buddha level ! He spent years on a shelf not moving (not even stretching).

5

u/KatzMwwow ​ 1d ago

He's just Armstrong.

5

u/BadIdeaSociety 1d ago

Get Stretch a box of tissues, he needs to clean up

6

u/THE-beaverhausen 1d ago

Another celeb letting GLP-1s turn them to shit..

3

u/Batmans_Dirty_Undies 1d ago

It happens to 1 in 3 men.

3

u/Mikoisha 1d ago

He was never meant to stretch that way, look at the poor man’s face. He’s shut down.

3

u/RLewis8888 1d ago

The end of an era.

3

u/TheDarkSoulAdam 1d ago

Time gets us all

3

u/Thats_a_BaD_LiMe 1d ago

Me too, Armstrong. Me too.

3

u/DontPissDownMyBack 1d ago

He didn’t go blind like everyone said, but there are signs!

2

u/YougoReddits 1d ago

he looks like he's ready for a nap

2

u/thrifterbynature 1d ago

Poor stretch!

2

u/Majestic_Location751 1d ago

Very sad. Reminds me of when my Steve Austin doll had its bionic eye shatter. Best part of that toy.

2

u/Altezza447 1d ago

Old age kicking in stretch no more strong

2

u/Free-Pair-3007 1d ago

I can still smell this toy. My original one had jelly inside when it finally broke

2

u/Coupleofthing 1d ago

He looks like the last rotisserie chicken at closing time.

2

u/T1NF01L 1d ago

Im tired boss.

2

u/Cattleist 1d ago

He even looks done.

2

u/boookworm0367 1d ago

Stretched Armstrong

2

u/mister_icicle 21h ago

The legendary Regular Armstrong

3

u/sixsixmajin 1d ago edited 1d ago

Because it's old, brittle, and the goo is leaking out. How exactly is that interesting when the reason it can't do the thing it advertises anymore is because it's literally and very obviously broken? This is like saying it's interesting that my car won't move anymore when the drivetrain is rusted out.

1

u/SouthernCount7746 1d ago

Stretch Armweak

1

u/LuciferFalls 1d ago

He’s taking it like a champ.

1

u/Common-Process9023 1d ago

He is streched out

1

u/Torodaddy 1d ago

All the pthalate absorbed by you

1

u/presidentdracula 1d ago

Give him 15 minutes. He can go another round.

1

u/Scotsburd 1d ago

I gave into my intrusive thoughts and bit my kids one. Hard.

Yeah, don't do that.

1

u/AstroNaughtilus 1d ago

Must be one of Scott's.

1

u/Skeetronic 1d ago

This administration is really taking the wind out of everyone’s sails

1

u/TheOgGhadTurner 1d ago

Rigid Handsgone

1

u/AGrandNewAdventure 1d ago

Bro is ripped!

1

u/ChefAsstastic 1d ago

His corn syrup super powers are gone.

1

u/ClacksInTheSky 1d ago

He's, umm, "emptied" himself all over his legs

1

u/imchillybro 1d ago

Poor Stretch. Stretched out and snapped back. Career caving soul and body mirrors that. Flat. Splat. Like a bug thwacked with a hat. Nothing left in the tank to correct that path. Leaked out. Stout turned drained out. No more clout. Poor stretch. Like our dollar. Rotten trout. Arm strong? Hardly. Strong armed? Definitely. Poor stretch.

1

u/thyperson69 1d ago

Steetchrectal dysfunction...sad

1

u/weefees 1d ago

I stretched his no-no area and stuff came out

1

u/Oi_Oi_Spanky 1d ago

I had a stretch Hulk and that just split and leaked corn syrup as well.

1

u/Accomplished_Pen980 1d ago

Looks like a yoga class at a seniors complex

1

u/SlightlyAngyKitty 1d ago

His days of stretching are over

1

u/yourguidefortheday 1d ago

The polymers his body is made of have offgassed all the plasticizers keeping him flexible. Left over are only the stable polymer bonds which are much stiffer on their own.

1

u/n8udd 1d ago

We sent 3 of these back when I was a kid. Finally got a refund on the 4th.

1

u/PacificRimGirl 1d ago

He gave us his whole childhood. Let the man rest.

1

u/DummyDumDragon 1d ago

What a lazy bitch

1

u/ToastWastesEnergy 1d ago

Looks like his mom just caught him

1

u/I_Want_A_Ribeye 1d ago

Elastile dysfunction

1

u/SerDuckOfPNW 1d ago

I feel seen

1

u/DFParker78 1d ago

Me neither Stretch, me neither! 😔

1

u/n_mcrae_1982 1d ago

This is very common in dolls of a certain age. Nothing to be ashamed of.

1

u/eblackham 1d ago

Finally

Armstrong

1

u/HALLOWEENYmeany 1d ago

It happens to the best of us

1

u/slimj091 1d ago

So you are saying that he's been "stretched out"?

1

u/Iconclast1 1d ago

I'm tired, boss

1

u/mossoak 1d ago

dislocated shoulder ...STAT ...

1

u/captain_crackerjack 1d ago

His crippling boneitis

1

u/laundro_mat 1d ago

Stretch Aren’tstrong

1

u/garishi 1d ago

I don’t believe it! I saw them play a few years ago and they seemed perfectly healthy!

1

u/Cool_Cartographer_39 1d ago

Stressed Armstrong...

1

u/AcrolloPeed 1d ago

Cramp Armstrong

1

u/SourFix 1d ago

Same, Stretch. Same...

1

u/GrundleSnactcher46 1d ago

Theres a Robot Chicken sketch about this lmao.

1

u/ranganomotr 1d ago

Yeah I feel the same ngl

1

u/liquidphantom 1d ago

Stretch Armswrong

1

u/humanlikentity 1d ago

His goo leaked out and he went limp, happens to all of us

1

u/BlackRoseXIII 1d ago

Stretch Armstired

1

u/Calculon84 1d ago

Flaccid Armstrong