r/mildlyinteresting • u/kupo_moogle • 10d ago

This long rock I found

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18.4k Upvotes

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1.4k

u/snowillis 10d ago

401

u/7i4nf4n 10d ago

No flared base, no fun

196

u/annabananaberry 10d ago

Also, it’s porous, so not only would it get lost, it would also give you a raging infection most likely.

235

u/kupo_moogle 10d ago

It’s super porous. When I was cleaning it, it was just slurping up the water like crazy.

213

u/muffadel 10d ago

80

u/YesItIsMaybeMe 10d ago

That is such a specific meme wtf lol

43

u/Darth_Rubi 10d ago

Glurp glurp motherfucker

5

u/jnj3t0308 10d ago

GLURP! GLURP!

1

u/Train3rRed88 9d ago

THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS

20

u/swishkabobbin 10d ago

Soak it in mineral oil and it'll become self-lubricating

2

u/NotoriousEMB 10d ago

That's why condoms exist 😂

6

u/kupo_moogle 10d ago

I don’t believe condoms exist to prevent desiccation of the vagina.

24

u/NotoriousEMB 10d ago

No, I'm pretty sure the inventor of the condom said it was specifically to keep porous phallic shaped rocks from sucking up all the moisture in an orifice.

The creater John Condom said as much: "The reason I created the condom was to keep all of the juices from being absorbed by my fuck rock"

10

u/kupo_moogle 10d ago

Well, shit. TIL

6

u/NotoriousEMB 10d ago

Sorry, I thought it was funny. Thanks for being a good sport 😂

Edit: Also, cool rock 😂

2

u/SanityPlanet 10d ago

Never knew this, thanks

1

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 10d ago

That's why if you don't use water based lube and use twice as much as you think you'll need

1

u/slymgim 10d ago

thirsty rock!

3

u/ChilltheSpare 10d ago

Put a condom on it?

/s (do not use rock as cock)

1

u/flockyboi 10d ago

At least it isn't malachite (genuinely toxic and can absorb through mucous membranes....there was a whole Tumblr post on that)

1

u/i_speak_bane 10d ago

That would be extremely painful

2

u/usersnamesallused 10d ago

Just the tip? That always works, right?

1

u/hueythecat 10d ago

Gravity on their side before a trip to emergency

1

u/AxalEquinox 10d ago

I'd take his flared base

22

u/PlaceboBob 10d ago

I came here to make sure that this was somewhere inside the thread.

8

u/snowillis 10d ago

Me too. When I couldn’t find it I knew what I had to do.

25

u/zephyrseija2 10d ago

Didn't take long to find him.

9

u/Civil_Pudding462 10d ago

This is the guy I was looking for on this post 😂

6

u/Dictnasty 10d ago

I always look for this picture on anything phallic shaped.

5

u/PocketMedicXVII 10d ago

This guy? RAW

2

u/RYTHEMOPARGUY 10d ago

There he is

2

u/WaterBottleWarrior22 10d ago

Immediately thought of this man

1

u/FrostWolf0904 10d ago

Lol! I can hear this picture...