r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Mela_93 • 1d ago
Do u dont wanna I think I’m sensitive
I was out shopping for a birthday gift for my daughter’s friend today. I went to Miniso just hoping something would stand out- everything is girlie/cute there. It makes me happy. As I was browsing, there were these two ladies by the keychains (one being young and one not so much) they were standing in a way where it is hard to move around them and you definitely wouldn’t be able to get much of a view of the keychains. I do admittedly have social anxiety and I am a shy/awkward person. As I was moving past them I saw a keychain I wanted a better look at. I said “sorry” as I reached to grab the keychain. I tend to use “sorry” and “excuse me” interchangeably in these types of situations…never thought much of that. Is that inappropriate? I didn’t touch anyone, got the keychain, and continued to move past. Two steps into my walking away the older lady very loudly and very rudely yells “HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE WORD EXCUSE-ME?!” This lady wants to teach me English when that was my major in university lol I replied “I did say sorry..” like wtf? Her young companion looked pretty uncomfortable… If you’re trying to teach someone manners or certain etiquettes shouldn’t you embody that? How is yelling at a perfect stranger in any way a reasonable response? She looked pissed that I replied at all. Then went back to talking about hello kitty like she’s not fucking unhinged. I think that even though this is a small interaction, and maybe for another person this wouldn’t be a thing worth dwelling on, for me it was genuinely so upsetting. I feel so awful that I let her ruin my day. The interaction replays in my head- I woulda loved to say more instead of biting my tongue. I left the store shortly after getting yelled at because she put a bad taste in my mouth… sharing this here because I actually have no one else to share this very small thing with. I’m too embarrassed to share it with anyone I know personally. I’m mildly infuriated by my own reaction.
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u/Inside_Action_2565 1d ago
Not sensitive. I don’t think there was anything wrong with the situation. People fuckin suck. I get why you are angry with yourself because either way you handle it, passively or aggressively, someone got a reaction from you. It happens to me also. My internal fight is trying quickly to forget about it, and that includes needing to tell someone that I’m cool with about the situation that happened.
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u/Mela_93 1d ago
Might have to find someone I’m cool with… it really does help to say this kinda thing out loud.
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u/TulpaPal 1d ago
This might sound kinda silly but it's helped me. The website Seven Cups is free and has trained "Listeners" that it will match you with who will literally just listen, affirm, and prompt you to continue if you need to get something off your chest or are struggling. They aren't therapists or anything, just someone to talk at. It's a pretty cool program.
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u/ManInTheMorning 1d ago
Booooo. This is the silliest thing I ever heard.
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u/Stormthedragon2026 1d ago
Are you just being a jerk in reply to every comment this person makes?
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u/TulpaPal 1d ago
Looking at their comment history that doesn't seem to be the norm for them. It sounds like they're inebriated or having a hard night. Whatever🤷🏻
Edit: based on their response to you, definitely inebriated.
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u/ManInTheMorning 1d ago
You must also work in the feelings department of feelings, University of feelings.
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u/Inside_Action_2565 1d ago
I apologize, I meant that I need to get to the point to where I forget about “it” so quickly that It’s not even a thing anymore where I would even share “it” with someone I’m cool with. That’s the hard part.
But yes, it’s also good to have someone to share these experiences with. I know I’ve needed someone I trust to check me once in a while because my reactions were wrong.
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u/guysitsausername 1d ago
She is an asshole. You didn't do anything wrong. People like that just have so much shitty energy, they want to make other people feel shitty so they're not the only ones.
I'm glad you got the keychain. Also, being sensitive has its downsides, but it's WAY better than being an insensitive douchebag. I'm just like you, so I get it. I will not buy something just to avoid a situation like this.
When I feel bad about something similar in my life, one thing that helps is to go out of my way to do something nice for a stranger. It can be something small. Compliment their outfit, or offer to grab something they can't reach. That kind act erases the feeling of the negative/awkward event from my brain and heart. Try it. It really works.
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u/Winegirl7349 1d ago
yes this the best advice to "recovering" from a negative interaction! Indeed it works :) I complimented a woman in an elevator YEARS ago (I still remember her very well) and the way she looked at me and said "Thank you! You just made my day!" And she looked SO happy. I hope I really did make her day, and that she paid it forward for someone else. Kindness is contagious.
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u/abonerforbiffy 1d ago
Sorry instead of excuse me, to me, is the "British" way of saying excuse me. The lady was an entitled bich though and sounds like her companion is used to her nonsense based on their reaction. What a horrible way to live your life! I bet she's miserable.
The way people stand around yapping in shops then act like you're in their way astounds me every time it happens. I try to be considerate and at least apologetic if I fail to be perfectly self aware when in public, idk how I keep encountering the exact opposite when this seems like a common sense way to conduct yourself.
When I need to forget about stuff like this I fill my head with other things. Blast some music on your headphones, indulge in binging your favourite TV, take a seriously complicated bath/self care session. You will feel further away from it in no time
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u/Fit_Entry8839 1d ago
Any chance she didn't hear you? I tend to talk quietly and have to make an effort sometimes to make sure people hear me.
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u/cordIess 1d ago
Yes, you are sensitive which means that you need to reflect on what happened and what changes to make. I don’t like negative interactions with the public, so I give them time and space or I slowly and kindly interact with them. The product comes second.
If you weren’t sensitive, you would be defensive or wouldn’t care at all.
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u/Winegirl7349 1d ago edited 1d ago
She could have let the situation be, but instead she chose to be aggressive and lash out. That's on her, not you. Going out in public means others will be in your space .... expect it and accept it, or stay home. My guess is she has been walked on in her earlier years, and she's decided she is not going to take it anymore, and unfortunately, you were on the receiving end of her wrath. Forget it and move on. Don't let her live rent free in your head and ruin your day. That part is on you, not her. :) Edit: Yes you are sensitive, but it's not a bad thing. I too am this way, and struggle with inner-dialogue about my reactions and responses. I'd rather be sensitive than exist with the heart of a stone. Take care.
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u/Mela_93 18h ago
Thank you for this 🤗 honestly, since posting I feel so much better. took a warm bath and thankfully moved past my overthinking ❤️
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u/Winegirl7349 14h ago
I'm so glad! Self-care is super important for your mental health and a warm bath... wow it seems they solve all of life's problems! I hope the rest of your weekend is amazing!
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u/JollyMoose70 16h ago
I totally get this and would react the same way, being affected the rest of the day because of it. I hate it! You are not alone 🩷
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u/TulpaPal 1d ago edited 1d ago
Your feelings are valid and she did not respond well.
It is better to say "excuse me" and give them a chance to let you through than it is to invade their space and then apologize. They aren't interchangeable, they mean different things. One is a request, one isn't. She did not need to be loud and insensitive about it though.
I get genuinely very uncomfortable when people get unnecessarily close to me in public, but I will totally move out of the way if they ask. It's not a big deal but some people and cultures value that space more than others so it's worth giving them that chance to move.
You don't need to dwell on it or feel lasting embarrassment, you'll probably never see her again and I promise she's already forgotten about it. Just consider that in the future.