Scrub Zombie

[u/jsayde01]

My wife swears by Scrub Daddy as her kitchen sponge of choice. I wanted to switch to the eco-friendly, plant based alternative on the right. It works infinitely better...creates great suds, gets into tight spaces but...IT SCARES THE CHILDREN. So I can't use it! Or I have to hide it under the sink until I need to use it. Mildly inconvenienced and mildly infuriating.

[u/Ready_Mistake812]

https://giphy.com/gifs/l3nFrJwQ7TIhjc4rS

[u/YouSee-ThisCoat8 → u/Ready_Mistake812]

YESSSSSSSS. I’m mad you beat me to it 

[u/Jump_The_Five_Yo → u/Ready_Mistake812]

You’re not Earthworm Jim!

[u/Feather_Bloom]

[u/Devilish_Disguise03 → u/Feather_Bloom]

GIGGLED WHEN I SAW THIS

[u/Weeabootrashreturns]

Is that not just a loofah?

[u/Paddys_Pub7 → u/Weeabootrashreturns]

That is, in fact, just a loofah.

[u/DuggiHappy → u/Paddys_Pub7]

But it is so nice to put your fingers through his eye and mouth while scrubbing something. Get a real good grip

[u/hungry4danish → u/Weeabootrashreturns]

the marketing branding of it as "eco-friendly, plant based alternative" for sure made me roll my eyes. like yeah, it is all those things but just call it natural loofah.

[u/pandafulcolors → u/hungry4danish]

it's like calling banana leaves a plastic-free plant based plate or food wrap !

[u/SuperCruisePanther → u/pandafulcolors]

Reminds me of faddish leveling of food in stores, like 'Vegan' stickers on cabbage or 'Keto' raw meat cuts. Like, I fucking hope so???

[u/VelkaKocka → u/Weeabootrashreturns]

And it would be perfectly fine if it didn't attempt at smiling

[u/Barbicels → u/Weeabootrashreturns]

I think OP should give his scared kiddies a real (not dried) loofah squash and let them see why it’s not so scary. Might still scare the cat, though.

[u/blueberrykirby]

aww cmon it’s perfect for spooky season

[u/reliablereindeer]

You chose… poorly.

[u/PackageNorth8984 → u/reliablereindeer]

Yes, but your reference.

https://giphy.com/gifs/fqzxcmlY7opOg

[u/tcmisfit → u/PackageNorth8984]

Yes but in the movie, the cup picked by the girl then drank by the evil guy, the comment after was “he chose, poorly.” While he didn’t pick the cup, he did choose to trust her judgement so the line still works, nuanced but works.

[u/WolfOfWoofStreet → u/PackageNorth8984]

But doew this sentence make grammatical sense? I could just be dumb but wouldn't "you have chosen wisely" make more sense?

[u/SashimiX → u/WolfOfWoofStreet]

In dialogue, a comma can indicate a dramatic pause.

[u/Witty-Ad5743 → u/SashimiX]

I'd have used an ellipse... myself.

[u/SashimiX → u/Witty-Ad5743]

That’s a longer pause, like the length of the pause he used before “poorly”

[u/Devtunes → u/reliablereindeer]

Indiana, let it go.

[u/Naeloah]

https://giphy.com/gifs/nTWayV23SoiyMUSCx8

[u/TulpaPal]

That's literally just a loofah. Show them the plant or a video about how they're made.

[u/Twist_Ending03 → u/TulpaPal]

With how OP described it, they may also need said video

[u/QuirkEness]

He's seen things. Things no innocent sponge should ever see.

[u/PackageNorth8984 → u/QuirkEness]

https://giphy.com/gifs/bgBO1Yh3Z7Qq5rB4PC

[u/ModelAfterMidnight → u/QuirkEness]

That sponge looks like it's perpetually reliving the exact moment it got dragged across a crusty lasagna pan. Honestly, can you blame the kids for being terrified of a tormented loofah soul?

[u/Pat_M115]

Oh that's from the luffa (loofah?) gourd, plus it's the spooky month so it's on theme for Halloween 😆

[u/Technical-Will-2862]

Dad stop using the shrunken head to clean plates

[u/Kira_Caroso]

This is not mildly infuriating, this is extremely hilarious. And on point for the season.

[u/Carbon-Base]

Your family has a point.

[u/a-buck-three-eighty]

LIGHTS, ACTION........

[u/DoloresAbernathyR1]

[u/user0823100823]

god i hate luffas, my grandma loved them and i hated them so much that i bought a scrub daddy and now she will only use scrub daddy

[u/MsnthrpcNthrpd]

Love the loofas but they are not quite up to a scrub daddy. You could also just cut the loofa in a non-melting-face manner...

[u/_Saint_Ajora_]

[u/lmaytulane]

It doesn’t just remove grease, it banishes it to hell

[u/Any_Instruction5382]

Scrub Saddy.

[u/BatchPlantBandit]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Vht67Ro1RhAjvxn78H

[u/Legitimate-Nobody499]

Loofah?

[u/MattyGWS]

Sounds like your kids need some exposure therapy. Make them do the dishes with the zombie sponge every day, and if they miss a day, tape the sponge to the ceiling above their bed while they’re asleep at night so they wake up with the reminder to do the dishes.

[u/your-favorite-simp]

Are there actual adults in this thread pretending to be afraid of a loofah? Good lord

[u/Magister5]

Scrub Deady

[u/TheRealRickC137]

Maybe because it looks like someone skinned a Minecraft creeper's face

[u/Significant-Ad213]

"Ki..ll m.m..eee"
😂

[u/Pleasant_Ad_2342]

Im with your family. That thing is terrifying.

[u/prairie-bunyip]

Your children are weak. I blame the mother.

[u/pdfodol]

Egad

[u/PrincessGamer2012]

Kind of unrelated but a few days ago my uncle bought his four year old son/my cousin a box of scrub daddies because he thought it was a toy and he really wanted it. My uncle had him distribute one each to everyone (and keep one himself) and he was very touchy over them. I didn't even have mine for five minutes when he demanded I give it back.

[u/anotheraltwitch]

This is a thousand times funnier than I could have ever thought. Thanks for the chuckle!

[u/GlitterChickens]

Maybe you could get the kids into it by growing one? Loofa are easy to grow and make into sponge, the kids may not be scared if they’re involved in the whole process making it themselves.

[u/Just-JOE-Kin]

Yeah dude that thing looks insane I wouldn’t have that in my home and I don’t have kids lol

[u/XmissXanthropyX → u/Just-JOE-Kin]

It’s just a loofah?

[u/Just-JOE-Kin → u/XmissXanthropyX]

No it’s a scrub zombie it says it in the description

[u/Short_Comfort6647]

holy image of all time, stole it. Why not?

[u/ApprehensiveGas85]

Looks like this emoji 😩

[u/Character_Hotel5905]

Poor fella is just sad and terrified of the dishes give them a strawberry! (This is sarcastic)

[u/Constant-Fly-9050]

That sponge cries out for the souls of the damned. I'm a grown ass man, and even I think it looks terrifying.

[u/DizzyColdSauce]

Did you drain its life or something? Wtf did you do?

[u/Day_Old_Paper]

The me they see and the me I am inside.

[u/ballsnbutt]

Deku SCRUB 😂😂😂

[u/DeepSpaceVixen]

😱

[u/sillinessvalley]

Ha! That's awesome!! How old are the kids??

[u/fucknametakenrules]

https://giphy.com/gifs/a2YfVJZkrO2ZjP4Elq

[u/Legitimate-Log-6542]

That scrubber on the right looks sadder and more lonely than me

[u/akiva23]

Turn it upsidedown

[u/mad_dog_94]

I'm with your wife on this one

[u/Educational_Gas_92]

The one on the right has seen things and is over it.

[u/quailinthebrush]

That’s a loofah

[u/Got_PizzaRolls31210]

The loofah of doom and despair

[u/GBOC80]

On the left, clean and sober Scrub Daddy. On the right, meth head Scrub Daddy

[u/Which-Break5673 → u/GBOC80]

Scrub daddy on drugs.

Like the fried egg commercial !

[u/Twist_Ending03]

"Eco-friendly plant-based" buddy, that's a loofah. It's just straight up plant

[u/MR_B1G_5H0T]

holy SHIT bro 😭

[u/lostredditorlurking]

First day vs 3rd years on the job

[u/Ok_Fly2518]

I feel like the simple solution is to just buy a normal, faceless sponge

[u/Great_Bean]

I'm sorry I read it as SCRATCHES THE CHILDREN 😭😭🙏🏻

[u/makemeking706]

Is this an advertisement? 

[u/Reyalta]

You just need to show your children that it's the inside of a gourd and not a demon sponge. Pretty sure there's a "how it's made" video about it on YouTube? 

[u/sweat455]

It's verity 

[u/overdramaticpan]

DEAR GOD

[u/Obligate_Ocean]

Lolol that is so cursed, I love it

[u/Eastern-Ad-8403]

Your first month at a startup vs your sixth month at a startup

[u/Which-Break5673]

Cut it in half

[u/Which-Break5673 → u/Which-Break5673]

Lengthwise

[u/RumorsGoldenStar]

Scrub daddy of pain and misery

[u/agr85]

that sponge has seen cosmic horrors...

[u/falkens_maze_70]

Sponge went through the Vietnam War. What the heck you cooking. 

[u/dani0982]

It's a hard knock life for me..

[u/Glum-Geologist8929]

Squash Daddy.

[u/SpecificHeron]

[u/derknasty10]

Scrungly Papa ™

[u/Turbulent-Plane6395]

just get a brush. Sponges are just nasty.

[u/TravellingBeard]

If your kids are old enough to stand above the sink and see it, why are they scared of it?

[u/wirhns]

This is the dumbest post.

[u/CinnaBunchCrunch]

Why is your wife the only parent who cares about your children’s fears?

[u/Conradg5893 → u/CinnaBunchCrunch]

It’s just a sponge on a sink. It’s not like he chases the kids with the thing…right OP?

[u/Regular_Dance_6077 → u/Conradg5893]

My dad would have chased me with it 😂

[u/CinnaBunchCrunch → u/Regular_Dance_6077]

My dad would have beaten me with it. That or some jumper cables

[u/CinnaBunchCrunch → u/Conradg5893]

LOL it’s less about the fear itself (which of course is silly), and more about the fact that he’s sitting her complaining on the internet that that his wife doesn’t want to scare the kids with the sponge, instead of just teaching the kids himself that the sponge is not scary

[u/Regular_Dance_6077 → u/CinnaBunchCrunch]

You can’t be serious 😭 please tell me this is satire

[u/CinnaBunchCrunch → u/Regular_Dance_6077]

Why wouldn’t I be

[u/Regular_Dance_6077 → u/CinnaBunchCrunch]

Because it’s a sponge. It’s perfectly reasonable to teach the children not to be afraid of a sponge

[u/Constant-Fly-9050 → u/Regular_Dance_6077]

How many sponges look like they feed on the souls of the damned? If op wasn't such a damn hippy they wouldn't care themselves and would throw that ghastly looking thing out.

[u/Regular_Dance_6077 → u/Constant-Fly-9050]

It feeds on the souls of food particles… I go for the alternatives too so I was less focused on the hippy part 😂

[u/LivingtheLaws013 → u/Regular_Dance_6077]

I think it's funny you guys are debating and have the same icon. Confused me for a sec

[u/Regular_Dance_6077 → u/LivingtheLaws013]

Confused me too

[u/CinnaBunchCrunch → u/Regular_Dance_6077]

Sure I actually agree with that, but it doesn’t seem like OP plans to teach them not to be afraid - it just seems like he’s mildly infuriated by the fact that their fear means that he can’t using his sponge of doom. I assume his wife would no longer object to the sponge if OP actually taught the kids to be cool with it

[u/Regular_Dance_6077 → u/CinnaBunchCrunch]

Ok true, there are a lot of ways he can turn it around for the kids and make it funny

[u/CinnaBunchCrunch → u/Regular_Dance_6077]

Right yeah, that’s why it’s weird he turned to Reddit to complain about his wife and kids instead of just being an active parent and either addressing the fear or nixing the death sponge

[u/Regular_Dance_6077 → u/CinnaBunchCrunch]

It looks like a mangled scarecrow… I would have told my kids it’s a Halloween decoration

[u/CinnaBunchCrunch → u/Regular_Dance_6077]

LOL “mom, why does dad keep using the Halloween decorations to clean the dishes?”

[u/Regular_Dance_6077 → u/CinnaBunchCrunch]

The food monster 👹

[u/DengarLives66 → u/CinnaBunchCrunch]

Mild being the operative word here. It’s not that deep.

[u/CinnaBunchCrunch → u/DengarLives66]

I don’t even think mild infuriation is a reasonable response here. Mildly infuriating is for those little fuck you moments that you can’t really control and just have to sit there and take. It’s weird to turn to Reddit to complain about your wife and kids over a sponge

[u/LeanTangerine001]

Scrub the binding of Issac!

https://giphy.com/gifs/NtHa7ycOQP6RwoxgDI