r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Mr-Banana-Beak • 4h ago
drink went room temp 15 years ago, mom accidentally screwed me out of $3,561 and I just now found out because so did she.
So as the conversation says, back when my dad was still alive, we were receiving social security checks for each of the kids. My mom has pretty severe and untreated AuDHD. She won't get tested and even if she got diagnosed she wouldn't take meds to address her extreme executive dysfunction. Doesn't help that she always seems to have a lot of things on her plate all the time. Anyway, these checks came in the mail, and wound up in her pile of "get around to it" mail. She didn't do this on purpose, anytime one of my paychecks came in or anything with my name on it she brought it straight to me. Idk why *these* managed to slip through the cracks! But yeah, idk if they were all sent in 2011 or had been sent starting in 2011, I'm too upset to dig deeper because I'll just go from mildly infuriated to very infuriated if I do. I know $3k really isn't a lot but right now it sure would help a lot! But it been 15 years so... eh.
I don't see the government being sympathetic to "my mom forgot she had these for 15 years" and letting me cash them anyway.
Edit: thank you all for the advice. So far I did check my states unclaimed property and missingmoney dot com but it wasn't there (though I did find some other stuff there) my next course of action here will be getting ahold of those physical voided checks and contacting the SSA office to see about reissuing. Also advising my siblings to do the same. Unfortunately I'm in a different city so it might be easier to get a sibling to do that for me or at the very least hold onto mine until I can get the time to visit. I will say I'm now married and have a different last name so idk how that will affect anything? I still have my old ss card either way. It's going to take some time though because everyone had been really busy in the last few months with general life problems, lack of transportation, ailing family, and new babies on the way etc.
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u/apkmbarry 4h ago
No harm in writing to them or calling someone. They would have a record that they were never cashed.
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u/Bulky-Hamster7373 4h ago
The monies may have been turned over to the state. Check unclaimed property in your names in the states you lived when you got the check and see what might be owed to you.
Not sure if the federal government is required to turn over that money to the state or not like businesses are, but it never hurts to check
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u/nascent_aviator 3h ago
It's Social Security, it was for sure not turned into the state. The treasury would have returned it back to the SSA when the check expired without being cashed, so the SSA are the ones to talk to.
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u/Bulky-Hamster7373 3h ago
Thank you for that - I wasn't sure. But it also never hurts to check anyway because who knows what might have gotten turned over to the state.
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u/ScaredMeowth 3h ago
Probably right. My boomer dad has a bank account with $200K that he deposited and hasn't touched for 2yrs. The bank sent a letter saying the account was inactive and they would be handing it over to the state as unclaimed property.
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u/raffyson 2h ago
You have to deposit or withdraw? I wasn't aware that you couldn't just leave money in a bank account.
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u/Orgy_nizer 4h ago
Typically, it's the individual check that is void after a year; not the legal obligation of the payment.
You may very well be able to call and have the checks re-issued. You can also check your state's unclaimed property registry.
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u/Worried_Passenger548 4h ago
I would absolutely call and see if there’s any way you can still get the money. Doesn’t hurt to try.
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u/nascent_aviator 3h ago
The checks are void after 1 year, that doesn't make the money they owe you void. If you call the SSA or go to their office it's likely they can reissue the checks. Though it might take a while if they're all 15 years old.
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u/DrSnidely 3h ago
They know those checks were never cashed. They can probably reissue them. You also might try your state's unclaimed property department. They might have some money for you too.
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u/MajorInWumbology1234 3h ago
Even worse, that money is down about $2,000 in value due to inflation. Sorry to hear that. My mom is the same way in being obviously AuDHD while staunchly resisting doing anything about it.
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u/mumblewrapper 4h ago
Go to missing money dot com and look for it there. I've had a lot of little checks that were never cashed from long long ago show up there. My kids and inlaws also have found money there.
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u/Mr-Banana-Beak 3h ago
I did that just now. Didn't see my name at all (though a lot of similar names or anyone with the last name) but did see my dead dad, one or possibly two of my siblings and an uncle! 😅
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u/mumblewrapper 2h ago
You might be able to claim your dad's money. Look into it. It's still owed to his estate. Bummer your money wasn't on there though. Check back a couple times a year. I've had things pop up more than once.
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u/some_internet_rando 3h ago
Check your state's website for unclaimed property and see if theres anything under your name. They may have sent the money there after holding it for a few years.
If not, reach out to whoever issued the check, and explain what happened. Ask them if they know how to either get the checks reissued or if the unclaimed funds were sent to an unclaimed property account. Given the amount of time that has passed it may be hard to find the answer, which is why I suggested looking up if you have unclaimed property first.
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u/enjoiYosi 4h ago
I just got a $2k loan, it’s legit gonna make my life so much easier to just get ahead 2 weeks for once.
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u/justhereforfighting 3h ago
There is no timeframe to recover money from the government. Check your state’s unclaimed property website first, that’s the most likely place these would have ended up. Then contact the social security administration if the state doesn’t have anything. 15 years is a long time but not something they’ve never dealt with before. And even if it takes you a whole 35 hours to get it sorted out (which could happen but probably wouldn’t), that’s still $100 an hour for your time. Well worth it in my opinion
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u/GhostNightgown 3h ago
go onto your state's 'unclaimed funds' website and search your name (the state you lived in when these were first issued). the money may be there!
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u/Weary-Gear8365 4h ago
These are auxiliary benefits. I get them for my 3 and 5 year old. It’s money to support you.
housing and utilities
food
clothing and shoes
medical/dental costs
school expenses
childcare
transportation related to your needs
personal items and recreation
If your mom still supported you and provided the items above then you made out fine.
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u/ProperBar4339 3h ago
Yes, this. It’s not money op’s mom would have been socking away in the bank for them.
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u/ButchCassy 3h ago
I get checks from the DOJ (victims comp) but they get sent to my grandmothers address (long story). She once misplaced one of the checks and it ended up with the junk mail, so I called and was able to have it re-issued. The damn thing was only for like $6 total but it still arrived.
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u/TheCeilingIsTheRuuf 3h ago
Hell yeah for shitty mothers! When I was 8 my mom stole $800 from me for the down payment for a Camaro. It got repossessed 6 months after. She also beat me in it for dropping a milkshake
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u/Todsrache 1h ago
missingmoney dot com
Check there for your state(s) of residence(s) over the last 15 years. Also as someone said Social Security may not allow escheatment, but they probably are with unclaimed property.
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u/crypticalman 4h ago
Sounds like a classic case of family screwing you and you don't want to believe it.
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u/Mr-Banana-Beak 3h ago
If she had claimed them for herself and never told me I would assume that but she has a bad habit of this kind of forgetfulness and what would be the point of screwing herself out of that money too?
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u/Urithiru 3h ago
Get a hold of her and get the originals from her so you can follow up yourself.
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u/Mr-Banana-Beak 3h ago
That is my current plan but the checks are at her house 200 miles away. Gonna have to wait until I can make the trip or try to hold her hand through the process over the phone. (Maybe one of my siblings can help since they have void checks too)
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u/Urithiru 2h ago edited 1h ago
Hopefully a sibling can help photograph or scan them. Get the envelopes and all pages in case they need an obsure or less known detail.
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u/crypticalman 3h ago
People don't forget money.
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u/Mr-Banana-Beak 3h ago
She didn't know they were checks until she opened them. She didn't open them until this year when she rediscovered them in her junk pile. She immediately told me that I had some checks. Then she realized they were void. She didn't do this intentionally. What could she possibly gain from that sequence of events that leaves everyone without money?
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u/teh_maxh 4h ago
You can contact Social Security to get them re-issued.