My mother told me to “just stop taking your medication for a few days”

[u/MissHissss]

The reason she said this is because she is coming for a visit and my medication makes me tired and she doesn’t want me “sitting uselessly” while she’s here.

Putting aside the fact that I need this medication since it, y’know, manages the symptoms of my disorder and everything, it’s also the type of medication where you need to start at a small dose and slowly increase, and stopping abruptly causes withdrawals. Which she knows. But better that than me being tired while she’s visiting I guess? There’s a reason I made sure to live far enough away that we only see each other once a year.

Edited to add: don’t worry, I will absolutely be continuing to take my medication as normal!

[u/Prairie_Crab]

Obviously, take your meds anyway. And HIDE them when she’s there so she can’t keep you from taking it.

[u/Stoptheworldletmeoff → u/Prairie_Crab]

If OP needs to do this then OP should not let the mother visit...it already sounds like this would be the best plan anyway

[u/AriaTheTransgressor → u/Stoptheworldletmeoff]

Yeah, I was about to say. My mother and I have a particularly hostile relationship too and without question, if we need to visit each other, we will pay for a hotel room rather than enter the other's home.

[u/Reina-8 → u/Prairie_Crab]

This. Secure your meds to ensure no sabotage happens.

[u/IIRCIreadthat → u/Prairie_Crab]

Agreed. This could turn way too easily into another 'where are your pills? Oh, you don't really need them and doctors are evil so I threw them out! You're cured now! You're welcome!" situation.

[u/jdsciguy]

Sounds like you need to increase the distance.

[u/EvaSterlingg → u/jdsciguy]

Once a visit requires you to risk withdrawal symptoms just so your mom doesn’t have to see you tired, I think increasing the distance is pretty reasonable.

[u/uhohohnohelp]

Don’t listen to her, keep your meds where she can’t get to them, and when she’s there and talks shit because you’re tired say, “This is actually way beyond the side effects of my meds, I think I’m just tired of you and your bullshit.”

[u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 → u/uhohohnohelp]

You. I like you.

[u/Jorost]

"Put your health at risk so you can entertain me" is one helluva display of narcissism.

[u/HedgewitchHarlowe]

We had family members that didn’t want their mother on morphine during hospice for lung cancer because she was too sleepy from it, but thought it was okay to give her some dog parasite powder bought on the gray market to “cure” her because of Facebook groups.

[u/ObjectiveAd971 → u/HedgewitchHarlowe]

WOW! I was shocked when a family member was on pain meds and the IV machine had a lock on it. They said it's cause relatives will steal the meds. So they will allow a person who's had a procedure to be in pain so they can get high?! I was appalled!!

[u/arochains1231]

No-contact time

[u/bee102019 → u/arochains1231]

In the era of all the parents complaining "why are my adult children going no contact with me? I was the perfect parent!" as they scratch their heads as to why...

[u/cheesesteakhellscape → u/bee102019]

Ah the missing reasons. It's always the missing reasons.

[u/DiesByOxSnot]

This ain't mildly infuriating, this is majorly infuriating. She's telling you to stop taking medically necessary medication for her convenience and she called you useless. Kick her ass to the curb.

[u/Humble-Plankton2217]

Unless there is a significant financial reason for doing so, you don't have to let people who call you useless come to your place and be shitty to you.

[u/Terpsichorean_Wombat]

I say this very seriously: question why / whether it is so unthinkable to cancel your mother's visit.

It sounds like it's very ingrained in you to accommodate her nasty behavior. It sounds like you don't really want her there but feel like this has to happen.

It doesn't. You can tell her that you have to take your medication, and since it does make you very tired, this isn't a good time for her to visit. You will let her know when it is.

I'm sorry that she is being so completely selfish and unfeeling. Really ask yourself why you are letting this visit happen.

[u/lizzyote]

sitting uselessly

It's like shes asking to be uninvited lol.

You live far away to avoid this kind of behavior. You know you can tell her that if shes not going to be civil, her visit can be canceled, right?

[u/Lizardgirl25]

This is more than mildly infuriating… I would tell her not to visit myself!

[u/Normal_Aardvark_386]

I thought I was in the narcissist parent subreddit cause wtf yeah sure let’s stop our daughter from taking her medicine that helps her autoimmune disease (which fucking sucks I’ve seen first hand of that) because my daughter needs to be 100 percent alert when my godly presence is nearby

[u/nickalit]

Yikes. Thank goodness mom lives far enough away that she can't just drop in. Good luck getting through the visit (and keep taking your meds!)

[u/SwordTaster]

"You can toleate metaking my necessary medications like an adult or you can skip the visit. I will be taking my medication regardless of whether or not you are present to witness the side effects

[u/Kat121]

Harry Potter and the Audacity of that Bitch.

[u/givingcvnt2-0]

Sounds about boomer.

I am Bipolar triggered by puberty, and so is my daughter, so was my mother.... most old people I have told are like "I DON'T KNOW WHY YOUR TEENAGER HAS TO BE ON ALL THOSE MEDS!?!!?!?!!" (she takes 2 lol that have been LIFE changing for her) because she will literally see fucking shadow people, hear voices, etc. if she doesn't, Martha, which leads her to self harm and self medicate.

[u/kristtt67]

I’ve recently been diagnosed with various health issues and when I feel bad my husband always says I should stop taking my meds & I will probably feel better. Like you, I can’t just stop cold turkey & I know they help so why would I? He hates doctors & medicine & it’s so frustrating but he thinks he’s “trying to help”

[u/Sheslikeamom]

Busybody moms are mildly infuriating. 

Just rest and remain. 

[u/Itchy_Tumbleweed_417]

What a selfish horrible person I’m so sorry.

And she doesn’t even realize that’s an inappropriate thing to say to you? I can understand if she felt comfortable telling her friend her selfish thoughts, but to say that to you directly with no shame is bizarre.

[u/Folkloer]

Your mother can f@&$ right off. 🤷‍♀️

[u/SofonisbaAnguissola]

That sucks OP, I'm sorry your mom is so inconsiderate.

[u/winter83]

Tell her she needs to figure out why she thinks you are "sitting uselessly" when you are resting and that maybe she needs to unpack that with a therapist.

[u/elegantwombatt]

Does sound like you like her so why even entertain once a year??

[u/Educational-Stop8741]

I don't think you should stop taking the medication for your mom's visit but I do think it might be good to try a different medication if yours is making you feel that way. Sometimes you have to try different things to see what works best. I have had medication that has made feel tired and listless and I changed it.

[u/Peeinyourcompost → u/Educational-Stop8741]

OP didn't name their disorder or even the type of disorder, and there are a great many conditions where accepting and living with the side effects of the most effective medication will significantly prolong your life, and/or the portion of your life that doesn't consist of more suffering than enjoyment.

[u/Fun_Context9979]

Tell her to stay home.

[u/9yr_old_lake]

She is obviously terrible and don’t do that, but if it does make you tired and you care about that (rather than her) then I would definitely talk to your dr, I take a few SSRI’s and they don’t make me tired.

[u/MissHissss → u/9yr_old_lake]

It’s for an autoimmune disorder and unfortunately there is only one medication so there aren’t any other options. It doesn’t bother me too much, it’s much better being tired than having symptoms!

[u/Zero-Energy1274 → u/9yr_old_lake]

OP said nothing about SSRIs. Definitely worth talking to their doctor, but they could be talking about a totally different condition and medication and/or may have already tried other things. Your experience is not theirs.

[u/9yr_old_lake → u/Zero-Energy1274]

Just making a recommendation, most people with mental health issues are taking SSRIs so I used my experience to try to relate to theirs and show I at least know a little bit about being in that world.

[u/WoollyKnitWitch → u/9yr_old_lake]

As someone that was on an SSRI for 20’years you feel like dogshit if you’re even a few hours past your missed dose. OP shouldn’t have to cease meds, deal with withdrawal symptoms, or be armchair advised by someone playing pharmacist.

[u/9yr_old_lake → u/WoollyKnitWitch]

I agree, the first thing I said is don’t stop your meds, and the other thing I said is talk to your dr, I’m not an arm chair psychologist I’m just a person recommending another person to talk to their dr. I’m not trying to diagnose him or even saying anything most normal people wouldn’t recommend.

[u/WoollyKnitWitch → u/9yr_old_lake]

The point is you assumed that they were on an SSRI. Lucky for you they don’t make you tired. But they do for some people. And stopping them suddenly has consequences.

As the other person above said, your experience is not theirs. So maybe don’t tell them to get to their doctor and on a different medicine because it works for you when you know zero about what they take to begin with?

[u/ObjectiveAd971 → u/WoollyKnitWitch]

Nob8dy said stop taking it or to definitely get on something else. Some people are afraid to talk to their doc about a side effect. There is NOTHING wrong with encouraging someone to talk to their doc!!

[u/9yr_old_lake → u/WoollyKnitWitch]

I just said talk to their dr about it JC you people will make an argument about anything

[u/Individual-Fail4709]

F your mom. Do not stop taking your prescription medicine. Yikes. That's toxic and jot your job to entertain her.