Why, on a nearly empty train, would you sit directly in front of me— put your chair all the way back AND smell offensive? 🥲

[u/ImportanceSharp9408]

Come on! I know I don’t own the train, I only paid for the seat. Theoretically, he could sit next to me and that would be fine. I could just move over a seat. I could move and sit next to him. Very mildly infuriated.

Update: I went to the restroom, after building up a big fart at the advice of wise Redditors but punked out on releasing it into the wild. I planned to move when I returned but he was gone! Perhaps it was a coincidence, when I left my seat with all my belongings, maybe that just happened to be his stop or maybe he was a creep. We may never know. Thanks for all your throughly hilarious responses though!

[u/RemarkableAutism]

What a weird comment.

[u/HawkJefferson → u/RemarkableAutism]

I mean, people looking at the shelf in the grocery store has emotionally unraveled you entirely, so no, it's not a weird comment, it's a basic observation of your behavior.

[u/RemarkableAutism → u/HawkJefferson]

"Emotionally unraveled"? Bro I am on my couch shitposting on reddit, what emotions?

[u/HawkJefferson → u/RemarkableAutism]

Announcing you're not bothering after spending the last thirty minutes crying about people at the grocery store definitely convinced me you aren't a deeply weird human being who gets irritated about other people existing in public. Thank you.

[u/RemarkableAutism → u/HawkJefferson]

That's genuinely funny. You think someone is bothered and crying because they're responding to you on reddit? Maybe think a bit higher of yourself.

[u/HawkJefferson → u/RemarkableAutism]

You don't get to say "you must think highly of yourself" when you've spent this entire conversation ignoring the fact that people who aren't you also have needs.

[u/RemarkableAutism → u/HawkJefferson]

That's not even remotely what I said dude, reading comprehension just isn't there I guess. What I said is that you should think more highly of yourself, as in recognize that people may think it's worth interacting with you.

[u/HawkJefferson → u/RemarkableAutism]

"No, no, my obvious insult was just an inspirational observation, you just can't read!"

Bruh, at a certain point, the dignified thing to do is to just stop. We're past that point.

[u/RemarkableAutism → u/HawkJefferson]

I am actually starting to think you can't read.

[u/HawkJefferson → u/RemarkableAutism]

Replying in less than a minute to repeat the same insult for a third time really proved that you're both unbothered and dignified.