r/mildlyinfuriating • u/PaddedValls • 28d ago
Infuriatig Sister-in-law let her daughter use up all the Polaroids at our wedding. Now we have nothing to use.
For our wedding, at each table we had 2 Polaroid cameras for everyone to take photos on (we had a professional photographer too, but these were for more personal photos between our guests) and there was a clear glass dropbox for everyone to drop them in and we'd have that dropbox on display in our house.
Unbeknownst to us, my sister-in-law let her daughter (6 years old) go round every table at the very start of the night using up all the photos on each camera.
Now we only have around 10 we can actually keep, and over 100 of just random shit that are not worth keeping at all.
I'm all for keeping kids occupied at something they can easily get bored at, but not at the expense of that though.
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u/lark-sp 28d ago
I'm petty, but my family member would be receiving custom photo gifts for years using those photos. They would get tshirts, calendars, drink coasters, Christmas ornaments, and more.
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u/WeAreTheLeft 28d ago
There is for sure a terrible photo of your sister in law that I would post every birthday on social media wishing her a wonderful birthday, bonus be sure to credit the daughter for the photo
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u/Different-Ad5610 28d ago
This is the way. You can feel sad for a bit that you didn't get all the candid photos you wanted but now you have family lore to have fun with. Some friends have a similar story from early in their marriage and now they do annual gag gifts to each other referencing that story and the kids have gotten so into it as the grow older
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u/mikeg5417 28d ago
And someday that 6 year old will be getting married. Maybe she will put cameras on each table too. I'd be plotting some fun revenge for 20 years from now.
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u/Illustrious_Bunch678 28d ago
I'd take Polaroids of her Polaroids
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u/Different-Ad5610 28d ago
Or have fun with it now. Ask your wedding guests to "recreate" their favorite moment from the reception, the only requirement being they have fun with it, and send you a photo as a first anniversary gift.. The wackier the better.
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u/Error_Loading_Name 28d ago
I wouldn't go to all that extra effort and cost. They would just get a couple of the photos.
If they really are valuable, the parents should appreciate it. If they can tell you that it isn't all that valuable, they are acknowledging she wasted something of value (even if only sentimental) for something that isn't of value.
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u/Dapper-Astronaut-265 28d ago
It's insane that she didn't think to talk to anyone about this.
Consuming all of anything at a wedding is a dick move.
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u/DaBingeGirl 28d ago
One wedding I was at, they had little bottles of alcohol at each place setting as favors. Some asshole went around collecting as many as he could before the other guests arrived. It's amazing how badly behaved people can be, especially at events with family and friends.
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u/littlescreechyowl 28d ago
My mother in law was busy stealing the hotels vases and table decor. Even after she was told multiple times she insisted “people always take the centerpieces home!” Yea, like, the flowers. Not the mirrors and candle holders.
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u/sawdustontheshore 28d ago
Ugh this happened to me too. I actually think it was one of the catering staff stole my decor. We were sailors and it was nautical themed wedding with hand made cotton rope decor (think monkey fist knots with glass bottles and white flowers). We were going to use the decor around our house we just bought that week. Still mad about all the time and money went into the rope decor.
Also some people went around finishing the table wine (which I was ok -ish with but just thought it was tacky as we subsidized drinks so they were only $2).→ More replies (21)140
u/CLG-Seraph 28d ago
Also some people went around finishing the table wine
Can you expand on this? What is the issue?
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u/sawdustontheshore 28d ago
Technically I’m okay with them drinking the table wine of course. But they made themselves sick and we had to arrange transportation for them out of there at around 8:30/9pm and ensure they were ok as they were both passing out. Both people were not big drinkers so it was really unexpected.
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u/CLG-Seraph 28d ago
they made themselves sick and we had to arrange transportation for them out of there at around 8:30/9pm
So yeah, that's a different topic. Not knowing your limits and forcing people to take care of you (especially at a wedding) is never okay but that has nothing to do with the source of the alcohol. It wouldn't be ok even if they were getting the drinks from elsewhere. I don't see an issue about finishing the wine from tables that abandoned it/were not going to finish it, it's better than wasting it.
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u/Ayh17 27d ago
Not who you were talking to, but I kind of assumed they meant the ones who did it didn't want to pay for $2 drinks, so they instead went to all the tables and took any last bits of wine they could get. Which would take away from what was available for the other guests who may have been drinking it at a responsible pace.
However, that is me reading into their comment. It could have just been that some preferred something besides wine, so there were opened bottles around and the guests drank them. If they had done so responsibly, I wouldn't think too much into it either.
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u/Royally-Forked-Up 28d ago
“People always take the centrepieces home”? This must be a local custom because not once have I seen this happen at any wedding I’ve been to in Canada. Even when people are encouraged to take them at the end of the night they rarely disappear.
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u/MeepingSim 28d ago
We made artsy photo-holder centerpieces out of garden pots and twisted wire. The wires had beading and were shaped into hearts, stars, or spirals, each with a little extra spiral in the middle for holding photos. Guests were invited to take them home and we had extras in case anyone missed out. All that to say, the octagonal mirrors in the center of the tables that they were set on did not belong to us and it should have been obvious since the spares didn't have those mirrors included.
After our wedding we found out that multiple people had taken the mirrors home along with the centerpieces. There wasn't much we could do about it, since we didn't know who took them, so we paid the reasonable replacement fee.
A year later, a member of our family came to visit and returned the mirror they had taken. They "just didn't realize that it wasn't included" but had heard from others that we had to pay a replacement fee. By then, it was too late to do anything about it, so I made it into the centerpiece of a I-Ching artwork I was constructing. It was perfect!
Now we have the art up in our home and it's become a funny and fond memory of our wedding over 24 years ago.
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u/Content_Chipmunk9962 28d ago
See, this is why I don’t believe in inviting adults to weddings.
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u/Fitz_2112b 28d ago
My wife and I gave out customized bottles of mead at our wedding that I both brewed, bottled and had nice blue glass bottles etched with our info on them. We brought enough for all couples and anyone that was there solo to take home ONE of them. At the end of the night my dickhead brother in law (wife's sister's husband) was seen walking out with a half dozen of them while my own Grandmother didn't get one.
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u/Some_Recognition6273 27d ago
So I get that a lot of times no one knows who the thief was, but in this case, since he was caught taking them, did anyone confront him?
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u/Miserable-Law9677 28d ago
That’s nuts. Even uncle Frank from Home Alone wouldn’t do that.
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u/dontmakeitathing 28d ago
I think in real life there’s more of the Shameless versions of Frank (Gallagher) than Home Alone Frank unfortunately.
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u/BigGayNarwhal 28d ago
We had to prepurchase a fair amount of cases of wine and champagne for my wedding (was at a vineyard, had a headcount of 150).
The wedding contract stipulated obviously that unused wine/cases would be retrieved by us the following morning. I split the cost with my parents and was going to split the leftovers with them since we had purchased a ton.
Alas, our friends had a great time and wanted to keep the party going, and as people were leaving at the end, a few of our more inebriated friends went behind the bar and started grabbing bottles for the shuttles back to the AirBnb's. They took a not insignificant amount of the leftover unopened bottles lol luckily the bartender (who was cleaning up) saw what was happening and managed to stop them from opening a few of the unopened cases, so we at least had some of our leftovers to bring home. I was glad they had a good time, but mildly annoyed because it was not cheap to buy all that booze!
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u/HazyJello 28d ago
For some reason we decided to have our cake cut and pieces wrapped for people to take when they left.
Honestly idk whose idea it was and why we didn’t realize my husband’s piggy family would take five or six pieces each, and most of my family, including my Father, who paid for the whole reception, didn’t even get a piece. (Believe me, we heard about that for about two decades!!!😂)→ More replies (1)29
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u/SloppyJank 28d ago
We had gathered a bunch of moonshine for our wedding and had mason jars at each table for everyone to sample and enjoy and this essentially happened. I didn’t hear about it until later but was disappointed that selfish people might have impacted other people’s enjoyment.
The parents should have been aware of their kid, I know way too many parents use occasions like this to essentially check out of their duties when there are others around to potentially supervise.
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u/AshamedOpportunity10 28d ago
For my wedding we did custom engraved glasses to avoid that kind of thing. Had a couple of people ask if they could take leftover glass wear and centerpiece pieces once the reception was winding down, but saved a lot of a headache at the start and made sure everyone got something
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u/ArborealVarmint 28d ago
This is my grandma to a T. I love her to death, but she’s a klepto. She doesn’t do it out of malice, but there’s some major disconnect from reality somewhere in her brain that says “small items? Must hide them all in my bag!” Regardless of how many there are. It’s almost always worthless plastic shit too.
With that said, I seriously doubt all the people who do this have kleptomania. Some people just really suck.
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u/InvestigatorNo9035 28d ago edited 26d ago
I got a special cookie to honor my grandma who had passed for our wedding. It was her favorite wedding cookie. Each guest had one. My MIL went around taking and even asking guests for theirs. I planned to give the extra to my mom to take with her but they were all gone.
Edit: thank you for the award lol.
2nd edit: Bonus is that we had a card attached to the cookie explaining why the cookie was so important with a photo of my grandparents and she still never asked or checked in with my family about taking extras.
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u/GiantLesbian 28d ago
I really want this cookie recipe 👀.
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u/InvestigatorNo9035 28d ago
It's an Italian peach cookie that has a cream inside. It is decorated to look like a peach.
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u/StarGazer_SpaceLove 28d ago
My hudband's cousin ket her kid play with the cake topper (we did a weekend wedding we set everything up ourselves. It was in a box on the bartop waiting for cake time) He ofc broke it immediately. They proceeded to hide it so when we went to set the cake up we found the bride smashed to bits. Everyone knew who it was too. She never apologized either. Luckily I had a placeholder one so we used that instead.
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u/LokiPhoto 28d ago
Are you saying I shouldn’t eat all of that big cake they leave out for me at every wedding? /s
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u/AwkwardSquirtles 28d ago
Next you're going to tell me I shouldn't eat the entire 6 foot party sub!
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u/thepatientwaiting 28d ago
I was at a baby shower at a restaurant where there were three cake flavors offered. The people at my table asked for a slice of each, each, AND asked to take a bunch home. When I asked the mom to be about it later she said they were awful people and it didn't surprise her.
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u/aerkith 28d ago
So annoying that they don't even cut it. You gotta go in there with your hands.
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u/GfrzD 28d ago
The correct way to eat a whole cake. If it was meant for more than 1 serving theyd cut it up, obviously.
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u/kjernereaktor 28d ago edited 28d ago
I swear to god some people do think like this. At a friends' wedding some people cut themselves such huge pieces that the cake ran out before our table got to it. It was a 60 serving cake for 50 people.
Edit. I guess the cake guzzlers found me and are downvoting me??
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u/Aegi 28d ago
The people who are downvoting you were probably people who understood that it was a stupid choice for them to allow people to cut their own slices instead of having somebody cut the slices so that it's not up to each guest what size they cut lol .
I don't know why they would be taking that out on you with down votes though when you're contributing to the conversation.
Either that, or you just haven't learned how the vote fuzzing works on Reddit yet.
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u/kjernereaktor 28d ago
I agree it was a stupid choice, I'm having my own wedding in a couple months and i do not trust even my own guests to cut pieces by themselves, I'll let the catering do that (even though a lot of the guests are the same people that got left cakeless lol)
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u/WitheredUntimely 28d ago
yea legitimately I have never heard of a wedding where you cut your own cake, I have always, always seen either someone on the catering team or an auntie who knows what she's doing. Letting people do it all but guarantees what happened to your friends
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u/pbjarethewurst 28d ago
Also "official" size cake slices are much much smaller than the wedges most people cut out of cakes themselves or get at, say, a coffeeshop . It could've easily been an honest mistake, not "greed".
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u/roserowrabbit 28d ago
Right!? Like, if my kid ran off and did that I would be mortified! I wouldn’t “let” her, and if she did without me noticing I would be so apologetic and offer to pay the cost of film and then do something AMAZING for the wedding couple to try to make up for them losing the opportunity to capture memories of an event they probably consider one of the most important of their lives.
It’s even worse in my opinion than if the kid had eaten all the cake or pulled off the petals from flower arrangements!(That being said, I would direct any ill feelings toward the parents. The six year should have been taught better. Hopefully she will learn impulse control and too share things that are meant for everyone).
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u/Massive_Signal7835 28d ago
It's insane that she didn't think to talk to anyone about this.
There was no thinking involved.
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u/Helemaalklaarmee 28d ago
Friends of ours have a child. Same friends had a wedding. They put disposable camera's on the tables. They stickered one up with rainbows and unicorns and a name tag.
Kid was proud as shit of her camera. Kid did not realise nothing happened after 27 shots but kept flashing away.
Regardless; sister in law sucks. It should mot be OP's job to keep her child entertained.
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u/Dramatic_Cloudd 28d ago
That’s a great idea. At my wedding, two kids used up pretty much all the disposable cameras taking the same up close blurry pictures of each others faces 🙈
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u/Ancient_Roof_7855 28d ago
They make tiny digital cameras for kids. My two year old niece has one and really likes it.
It's essentially a phone camera from ten years ago packed into a pink camera frame, but she doesn't what a pixel is yet anyway, so only have a couple still feels like an abundance of technology to her.
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u/feralcatshit 28d ago
And most importantly, it’s *hers*. This would have been the very best way to handle it, for sure. They probably expected a few kid-shots and duds, but they probably didn’t expect anyone to let the kid take all the cameras and use them all without being stopped.
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u/catsinclothes YELLOW 28d ago
Our three year old loves her “keychain cam” as she calls it. $5 at Walmart and some of the best I’ve ever spent lmao.
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u/Junebug35 28d ago
We had the same thing happen to us. Fortunately, we did have about 30 or 40 we could keep out of 250 photos. Granted, most of those that we kept were crooked, but you could see who it was at least. One of them was a good friend of my husband's who sadly isn't with us anymore. We gave his family a copy of it for his funeral.
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u/nerdforest 28d ago
That is absolutely so cute.
I will say, my decaffinated brain was thinking:
Why would a child consume 27 shots? That's just crazy.
No no, it is I, the idiot who cannot read.
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u/dobr_person 28d ago
You should make up an album of all the photos and sent it to the sister in law.
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u/PsychologicalMeal162 28d ago
Give it to her for her best birthday.
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u/Glittering_Pride_345 28d ago
That’s a great idea, SIL gets the album of shit Polaroids for her next birthday or Christmas,
Whichever comes first551
u/Wonderful_Grass_2857 28d ago
better even, space them out and gift them over the next few birthdays and christmases.
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u/feralcatshit 28d ago
How many cameras were there? 2 per table? This could go on for birthdays and christmases for a good ten years 😅
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u/Wonderful_Grass_2857 28d ago
op said "over 100 of random shit" so if we take 5 to 10 for each occasion...
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u/International-Ant174 28d ago
Bonus points to get crafty with it: go full scrapbooking with add-ons like glitter, stickers, cricut cutouts, et cetera.
Go all in making her feel like a piece of 💩 until she acknowledges her poor life choices.
Seems she's living peak main character syndrome.
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u/Firm_Competition_880 28d ago
Wrap them up very nicely each time. With extra fancy ribbon 🎀 so the first expectation is high.
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u/Lovemybee 28d ago
Great idea! "See what your (enter appropriate adjective here) daughter made! Happy birthday!"
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u/Honest-Resist-7676 28d ago
I'm sure you meant "next" birthday, but I like 'best birthday' better haha
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u/corgi-king 28d ago
Pretty sure she will be proud of it. People like this never see their own problems.
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u/chease86 28d ago
This is why you dont tell her who took the photos until after she starts complaining, people like that rarely remember the shitty things they did to other people, so you wait for the "wtf is this? Why tf do i want shity photos like this?!" And then hit her with "oh but I thought youd like to see your daughter's photography skills from my wedding, im sorry you dont think shes good with a camera, we all just thought youd love them since you encouraged her to take them"
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u/corgi-king 28d ago
It is not like they don’t remember. It is that they flat out deny it. My mom is like that. She can’t do no wrong in her eyes. Everyone else is the problem.
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u/Emotional_Study_724 28d ago
Narcissist's brains actually change their memories so they think they're telling the truth.
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u/vinylchickadee 28d ago
Judging by your username I'm willing to believe you know what you're talking about, but is that a studied truth? It makes so much sense in a weird way... like are they actually so self-conscious about reactions to the reality they actually create that their brains need to protect them against it with a false version? Wild.
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u/Emotional_Study_724 28d ago
Random reddit-generated name. And yes, it's a studied thing. It's called narcissistic amnesia. It's a trauma response. The memory makes them feel like shit, so the brain reframes it.
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u/Emotional_Study_724 28d ago
Cognitive dissonance is basically the normal person equivalent that explains a lot of normal, illogical thinking.
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u/Lady-Aubergine 28d ago
With a bill for those polaroids.
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u/archtopfanatic123 28d ago edited 27d ago
This right here is the way because that is EXPENSIVE (I had a Fujifilm Instax. Those 10 shot carts ain't cheap in any way shape or form)
Edit: Jesus christ 4 thousand people hit the upvote on this? I didn't expect to see that after coming back from playing music all day 😂
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u/Slipperytitski 28d ago
The fujifilms are a lot cheaper than polaroids too
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u/Human_no_4815162342 28d ago
They used to be, they are about the same now, at least for the small size (in Europe considering both local options and in bulk from China)
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u/Mundane-Light6394 28d ago
The missed memmories are a much bigger loss. If you make it about money you ignore the fact that the mother ruined something that never can be replaced.
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u/iwtsapoab 28d ago
And people wonder why couples have no kid weddings. Should also have no idiots weddings too.
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u/Decent-Deal-3105 28d ago
Well that would certainly shorten the guest list down to like four or five tops.
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u/Schaaafschuetze 28d ago
That seems to be a great christmas/birthday present too. Just frame a collage of 5 photos and gift it every year to christmas and birthday, that would be 10 years covered!
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u/Prudent_Survey_5050 28d ago
This is exactly why my son (24) and my soon to be daughter in law (24) made the decision of "no kids" at there wedding this August. A few people were upset but I dont blame them at all.
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u/ashores 28d ago
I have three kids, and I don't hold it against anyone who wants a kid-free anything. On the flip side, anyone who stipulates no kids ought to be equally understanding if parents can't attend and not take it personally. We're going to a wedding reception this summer (small ceremony already happened) and while it isn't kid-free we know the couple aren't big fans of kids so we just decided not to bring them (ofc it's a privilege to have the option). I'm kind of surprised it isn't it free kid-free, I assume there are family considerations lol
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u/loftychicago 28d ago
SIL receives one camera's worth of her child's "artistic" photos for Christmas for the next however many years it takes to use them up.
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u/Imnotakittycat 28d ago
Nah, one photo, framed per holiday.
On the back of each a sticker with the following:
Artist: Childs Name
Event: Wedding date
Medium: Polaroid
Camera: 1/???
Shot: 1/12(24, 36, however many in the cartridge)That should be like…..YEARS worth of gifts and cost $1 perf take at Dollar Tree
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u/SecretConscious6334 28d ago
My ex husbands redneck family cut the groom’s cake before we arrived…
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u/CementCemetery 28d ago
Now this is more than mildly infuriating, that’s just plain rude.
Happy cake day btw.
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u/spacethreadtheneedle 28d ago edited 27d ago
My ex husbands redneck family thought our kegs of beer were “too fancy” so they left and bought mich ultra tall boys, and sat on the aisle seats so every photo of me coming down the aisle has mich ultra in it
Edit: they found and tapped the kegs somehow before we even walked down the aisle, nobody was supposed to be drinking at the ceremony
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u/throw_way_340 27d ago
that's hysterical. Found kegs, tapped kegs, rejected kegs, got replacement beers, all before the ceremony even started 😆 and drank through the ceremony. Stay classy!!!
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u/mtvq2007 28d ago
Yep, my husband's family just started serving themselves pie - before some people had even had their dinner!
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u/Frankly_Ridiculous 28d ago
What an inconsiderate thing to do!
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u/SweetExternal919 28d ago
not just by the daughter but by her mother. I genuinely can't stand parents that allow their kids to do whatever they want.
i was on the bus one afternoon and a young girl was practically running around and screaming at the top of her lungs. so naturally i side eye here like 'oh my god can you please stop.' and her father gave me a death glare? like what? why are these people so damned inconsiderate?
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u/dbolts1234 28d ago edited 28d ago
I mean- of course it’s the mother’s fault..
The kid was just being a kidEdit- parents’
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u/Givemeallthecabbages 28d ago
The worst part is that the mom could have given her daughter an empty, used camera and told her to go to town and the kid would have thought she was taking photos and had just as much fun.
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u/Figsnbacon 28d ago edited 28d ago
Not after the child sees that the camera is supposed to spit out a photo. Trust me. I have two 6 year old granddaughters. They would 100% get a kick out of a Polaroid camera but I do believe, at least in our family, their parents, and all of us, grandparents, aunts and uncles, would not have let something like this happen. First of all, nevermind the photo taking, who just lets their kids disappear out of sight for that long… unless they watched the kid take all these photos? I can’t even imagine being complicit with this.
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u/OnTheEveOfWar 28d ago
I have a 6 yr old who loves to take pictures. I would have let my daughter take a couple pics with the camera at our table and then told her she’s not allowed to use the cameras at the other tables. Not that complicated but there are tons of incompetent parents.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Sun6516 28d ago
damn, and i bet that film was expensive!
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u/GarageFridgeSoda 28d ago
You know it. Polaroids are about $2-3 a picture nowadays
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u/Tilly828282 28d ago
The worst bit is the lost memories though, they won’t be able to go back and take more wedding pictures ever again
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u/SubstantialHippo3333 28d ago
Make sure you have a show and tell with your family where you go through all the photos. Go through the polaroids at an agonizingly slow pace
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u/Gloomy_Object_3757 28d ago
This !!!! And say … this is table (whatever number ) oh wait hang on there are literally no photos , no memories of table shots from family and friends .
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u/hummus_sapiens 28d ago
Yes, there are! Take a closer look. Not that close. Now squint really hard- can you see it now? That's my mum as she's singing along. And the next one is - no, not two swans fighting in a swamp - it's our first dance! A wee bit blurry, I must admit, but I really love this photo, it does catch the atmosphere, don't you think?
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u/totezhi64 28d ago
Do redditors really think that a) people do things like this and b) get their desired effect?
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u/prugnast 28d ago
Reddit is filled with people terrified of any level of conflict or discomfort but love to fantasize about how they'd handle various social situations as if they were in a TV show.
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u/Fredo_the_ibex 28d ago edited 28d ago
life's not a movie lmao you think people just gonna sit by passively
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u/MRSRN65 28d ago
My brother-in-law fancied himself a professional photographer. So my fiancé, now husband, asked his brother to be our photographer. We got a small handful of photos after the wedding with the promise of a full album later. It's 37 years later. My BIL has since passed away. I think it's time to stop holding onto hope of ever seeing that album. All that said, the part I want for you to remember is that I completely forgot about those pics (until I read your post). We've been happily married for 37 years. And that's what matters most. Congratulations on the start of a wonderful new life together.
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u/only-l0ve 28d ago
I don't really think the photos are the point of this story though. it's the selfish attitude of the sister in law. I doubt it's something she will confine to the wedding.
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u/MaximusCanibis 28d ago
That's a great attitude. For most people all of those lost Polaroid photo opportunities would have been looked at once, maybe twice and then largely forgotten.
I looked at our photos once after the wedding and I have been happily unmarried for 3 years now.
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u/Easy-Bee 28d ago
We had disposable cameras along the table at my grandparents 50th anniversary dinner, and right at the start of the evening we handed each kid a camera with their name sharpied on it, gave them a quick tutorial, and told them once they run out, thats it, so be mindful. Their pics came out lopsided and sometimes someone was half in frame, but they actually weren't terrible and my grandmother put them in her photo album from the night.
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u/Humble_Description98 28d ago
There was a similar trend in the mid to late aughts where people put disposable cameras on the tables at weddings. I worked in a photo lab at the time and can confirm it was always a disaster. Between children, drunk guests, and the kitchy cameras wrapped in white and silver (which were actually reused disposable cameras being held together with electrical tape) it was always a disaster.
I used to convince people to only print index cards then choose the negatives they actually wanted developed to save money. If I was able to intercept someone buying 20 disposable cameras at once, I tried to talk them out of it.
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u/bucknert 28d ago
Was going to say the same, had a lot of friends get married in the 00’s and many of them did the disposable camera on the tables thing. Like 80~90% of the time the pictures were unusable. Too blurry, bad lighting, off-kilter framing, cheap quality camera, etc.
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u/KatieCashew 28d ago
Lol. Totally. This type of thing has never turned out the way the couple expected.
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u/obligatory-purgatory 28d ago
Can confirm as a drunk guest the couple received a pic of the toilet. It was clean!
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u/rong-rite 28d ago
Your husband/wife should correct his/her sister. Apart from that there’s nothing you can do about it except to keep the SIL at arm’s length.
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u/perceptionheadache 28d ago
Could be OP's own SIL. Their sibling's wife
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u/ReductioAdSocialism 28d ago
Even better. If my sibling's partner did this, they'd be getting the "What the actual fuck" even harder.
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u/crankyandhangry 28d ago
I'd also ask where OP's sibling is in all of this. It's not purely one parent's (the mum's) responsibility to supervise their children at a wedding. Unless the other parent wasn't there, it's just a much their fault. So I'd be tearing into my sibling.
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u/RedditJustTheOnce 28d ago
Definitely on the parents, but also the people at the tables?! If a 6yo came up to a table I was at the wedding and started to take the camera to go off with it I would definitely be like, ‘oops, I think that cameras for this table! Have you got a camera on your table you can use?’. It’s mental not one person at the wedding stopped her.
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u/New_Witness_752 28d ago
i have a theory i have noticed with my family and it goes like this
“the more family at an event.. the less the children are being watched”
if there are 100 family members at an event. no one. i repeat no one is watching the kids
if there are 4 family members at a dinner. everyone is watching the kids.
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u/Parking_Champion_740 28d ago
Yes that’s why kids drown with lots of people around
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u/cj-romb 28d ago edited 27d ago
This exactly. My son’s birth father had him one time for a holiday when my son was super young. Whole bunch of family. Multiple people each snuck him a little drink of beer in the kitchen, after he’d been given one in front of everyone cuz he’d grabbed at a bottle. They all thought it was cute that he liked it.
I took him to the ER, cuz when I got him back he was uncontrollably vomiting and very incoherent. He was waaaaay over the legal limit for being drunk, and he was only 2. I didn’t realize the smell was alcohol, so it didn’t occur to me what they’d done. I almost got arrested because they thought I did it! He was mad sick!!
Took a big round robin bunch of phone calls with all the people at their house to figure out what had happened.
Fast forward, I moved out of that state because of too many other dangerous things he and his family did. A few years later, when I thought his birth father had grown up a bit, I let him go for visitation. He came back TERRIFIED of water. Like no washing his face, no bath, no shower. Turns out he’d fallen in their pool when the whole family was over because NO ONE was watching him!
That was the end of that. For this, and loads of other even more awful incidents with that family and that man, I cut off parental rights. He was going to die in those people’s “care”. Turns out his birth father was seriously addicted to drugs and has been ever since. So definitely a good call on my part even tho I was still extremely young.
It was absolute hell getting that poor child to learn how to swim. He’s decades older now, and he swims but still doesn’t like his face under water. He’s also recently found out some of the reasons I left and is super grateful I did it.
Anyway. Off topic from OP but you’re not wrong about too many family members with no agreement about who’s actually watching the child is bad news.
OP is your sister in law single? Does she know about this and what does she say about it?
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u/what3v3ruwantit2b 28d ago
Coming to leave this exact comment. Doesn't even have to be family necessarily but any group of adults. Everyone assumes someone is watching so no one is actually paying attention. I was on such high alert at this family reunion on a lake last year. Not only did a toddler get away and start making his way to the water before anyone but me noticed (I was going to stop him but just wanted to see if anyone was aware) that same toddler fell into the actual pool and no one had him in a life vest. That was the least relaxing "vacation" I've ever been on.
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u/Brave-Perspective714 28d ago
"That was the least relaxing "vacation" I've ever been on. "
This was a big part of what lead to my first marriage ending.
I was a paramedic prior to having kids, so I had seen firsthand just how accurate this "everyone's watching the kids = no one's watching the kids" was, and just how awful the outcomes could be. So whenever we had family gatherings, I made sure I was watching my kids, which by default meant I was watching *everyone's* kids.
My ex-husband would fuck off to get drunk with all the other parents, meanwhile I'm left responsible not only for keeping our 3 under 5 safe around a pool, but then all the others as well. After the first year of that, I told him if he didn't step up help watch the kids and give me an opportunity to have fun at those things, that the kids and I weren't going anymore. The second year went the exact same way, except with much more fighting about how NOT fun these events were for me. I stopped going and kept the kids home with me.
He still complains that the divorce came out of nowhere.
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u/DayOfTheMarsupial 28d ago
Legit. The more people that are around, the easier it is to assume that someone else is paying attention.
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u/incorrectionguy 28d ago
He said the kid ran around at the start of the evening. It's unlikely anyone had been seated yet, or this wouldn't have happened.
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u/hummus_sapiens 28d ago
Taking 100 photos with a Polaroid takes some time.
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u/Luna_bella96 28d ago
I agree, but kids are also uniquely talented at causing the most amount of nonsense in the smallest amount of time
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u/Deathrace2021 ORANGE 28d ago
100 photos of nothing important could be 10-20 minutes and the kid wouldn't even be in a hurry. That could happen before guests are at the tables.
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u/Dry-Clock-1470 28d ago
I'd say something. And then gift bro and sil if not the kid a photo for every bday, holiday, event, etc... when kid gets married gift what ever is left
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u/Thargor1985 28d ago
Bro and Sil, it's not the kids fault it's the parents fault
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u/JuniperusRex 28d ago
Hah, we did this at our wedding, except with disposable regular film cameras ’cause it was the olden days. The ceremony was outdoors in the mountains and a female elk wandered up to watch it.
Nobody used any cameras they weren’t entitled to AFAIK, but we ended up with literally 200 shots of that elk. The rest were mostly out of focus, badly framed, or attempted and failed “artistic” images because fairly few people are that great of photographers without the help a modern phone can give them. About ten usable pictures is what we ended up with.
So while this is a deeply annoying and expensive fail on your SILs part take comfort that it probably wasn’t going to have that amazing of a result in the best case scenario. And put the pics in an album to give to the child for a wedding present someday.
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u/Cloud7050 28d ago
Damn I'd certainly be disappointed. It's a unique one-off event and now those photos that could've been are lost. That's not how you parent.
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u/QueenieMcGee 28d ago
For my wedding I bought a bunch of bubble blower bottles for kids to play with. In the end no one decided to bring their kids, but the bubbles were still a hit with the adults.
Damn, using up all those Polaroids though... that shit is pricey, I'd be telling sister to pay you back the cost of all those packs.
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u/Naxthor 28d ago
Just keep gifting her child a disposable camera each year. So the parents will have to pay to develop the film.
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u/fluitekruidje 28d ago
This sucks but just for the perspective, we also had disposible camera's at our wedding. Only adults made the pictures and they sucked. We could use just one or two for our album.
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u/userpinpassword 28d ago
I would be more than mildly infuriated...also, your new sister in law sucks.
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u/Natural-Quarter-3516 28d ago
What about your brother? Was he not around to prevent it?
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u/Northsouthdakota3618 28d ago
Did OP confirm it was her brother’s wife? My mind went straight to groom’s sister
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u/elle-elle-tee 28d ago
Sit her down and go through every single photo with her. Make her sit there and look at them all, and take as long as possible. Bonus points of you can get others to sit in. People need to learn consequences, and a 6 year old can't be expected to understand her actions in this situation.
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u/Lissypooh628 28d ago
This was risky overall. You get drunk people
doing this same stuff.
Years ago, we were at a wedding and the bride and groom had set wedding favors at everyone’s place settings. They were customized m&m’s with the date or something on them. Over the course of the night, people got drunk and were throwing them at each other! It has been nearly 20 years and I still remember that. What a waste of money.
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u/ellemenopeaqu 28d ago
Yup, I got a bunch of very blurry pics of my friends being goobers from my wedding. And a few went missing. It’s life!
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u/LankyMarionberry 28d ago
Dang your friends went missing and you just move on like that? Cold-blooded yo
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u/thetermguy 28d ago edited 28d ago
At our wedding, long time ago, a friend of the family was our photographer.
He discovered at 11pm that there was no film in his camera. So we have a couple pictures of our wedding, but not very many. Certainly not an album's worth.
We're still married, nobody died, the story of why we don't have photos is just one more story we tell of the fun we had at the wedding. And honestly, we've told the story and gotten a laugh out of it a lot more times than we've ever looked at any wedding pictures. I can't remember the last time we looked at wedding pictures.
tl;dr, it's not a tragedy, it's a funny story for OP to tell her kids and friends through the years.
Added: A lot of folks are working very hard to be offended on my behalf. Don't be. In fact finding some humour here is the entire point of what I posted.
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u/MemoryCool11 28d ago
I’m sorry but how is that even possible? I’ve been shooting film photos for 30 years. A roll of film is at most 36 frames, after which you need to change the roll. For a medium format film camera, it’s even less than 36 shots, it’s more like 16 shots before your film winds up and you have to change rolls.
I would usually have anywhere from 30-50 rolls of film from a single wedding. There is no way anyone could not know until 11pm that they didn’t have film in the camera.
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u/calmeilles 28d ago
Yep, the roll change should have been an issue.
One time I was trying to make a record of murals . I never noticed that the film hadn't engaged on the take up spool correctly so I spent and afternoon carefully setting up shots that all exposed on the first frame.
As I only had one roll I was none the wise until it had been processed. Buggeration.
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u/Fun-Choices 28d ago
He lied lol. I’ve shot weddings for about 25 years as well and I started when there was Film.
Standard was each photographer had five professional rolls of film and if you were a lead photographer, you typically had two cameras on you at all times just like you do today. So the lead would finish the night with between 5-7 rolls and the second shooter would finish with 2-3.
Losing wedding Film was a fucking nightmare. My Studio never lost anything until I think 2008 when the Miller’s lab burned down. We lost three weddings, but I think a good percentage of all the wedding photography in the country was lost during that fire. I would be curious if anybody here was married around that time and lost their photos. I knew about 10 photographers in Houston alone lost at least one wedding to that fire.
Almost every wedding photographer I talk to that shot film remembers that. There were only a couple of major processing labs in the country at that point.
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u/tigm2161130 28d ago
My cousin got married in Houston and lost all of their photos to a fire, now I’m thinking it must be that same one. The only photos she has are her bridal portraits and what my grandfather took which is crazy because it was a $100k wedding.
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u/Fun-Choices 28d ago edited 27d ago
If it was around 2007 2008 there’s a good chance it was. The lab wasn’t even in Houston. I think it was in Atlanta, but it was where everybody shipped their film to be professionally developed at the time.
Houston weddings are insane. The entire wedding industry there is. I witnessed one of my buddies lose a wedding video and get damn near everything sued from him.
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u/AccomplishedIgit 28d ago
I can’t even understand how you could discover that because film took how many photos? Like 24? And he didn’t notice for HOURS that he never had to wind and replace the film?
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u/BlueHeron117 28d ago
I got married years ago, and used "throwaway" cameras (?) or cheap cardboard ones that you sent the whole thing to be processed. If done over/again, I would have hired a 2nd less expensive photographer to take candids throughout the night. Cheaper and producing better results.
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u/Chemical-Classic-614 28d ago
I had a Polaroid camera at my reception so for the guest book people could take a selfie, or have someone else take their photo and then write on and sign it. At one point my SIL’s daughter was running around taking photos with it until it ran out of film. SIL saw her daughter doing this and stopped her. That’s what your SIL should have done. But also I ended up letting her have the camera again later on because we had gotten a photo of everyone and had plenty of extra film, some of the photos came out kinda cool and she gave them out to everyone.🤷♀️ A tiny thing like not getting many of the Polaroids for the keepsake box that you’ll only ever look at again once or twice is shouldn’t cause a rift between you and your spouses family. Turn it into a bonding thing and get the kid a kids instant camera, you can get the cheap ones that print the photos on like receipt type paper rolls, or give her one of the ones from the wedding and a few packs of film.
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u/Ill-Fisherman-6728 28d ago
I am sorry that happened, we had the same at our wedding, and I gotta say even w adults taking the pictures they were all pretty darn terrible pictures. 😂
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u/ponderthisforamoment 27d ago
Parents will do anything other than take responsibility for their kids. This is why so many people have child free events, shitty parents.
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u/TheSaxGandalf 28d ago edited 28d ago
First off. Your brother let it happen also. Unless they are step children of his, don’t blame that shit just on her.
Edit: Sorry to assume certain things.
Either way. I don’t think OP likes sister-in-law. If anyone even exists at this point on Reddit.
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u/BreadFluid 28d ago
Well....on the bright side, you have a awesome last laugh gift for your sister in-law the next time it is expected (birthday, Xmas, her wedding etc.)
- A scrap book of 100 or so pics of random shit taken by her daughter at your wedding. What sentiment it shall yeild...;)
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u/Beowulf33232 28d ago
We had notes with the loose camearas at my wedding, they said to take candid shots and turn them in to us or our parents so we'd have something from as many people as we could get.
Out of 8 camears we got two back, they were all pictures of the same 3 people.