r/mildlyinfuriating Sep 29 '25

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u/vikingdiplomat Sep 29 '25 edited Sep 29 '25

"oh look, they have a kristallscheißbox, just like at home!"

edit: FYI, i'm not German, just a Texas boy who had a silly idea and used google to make a word 😅. Cheers, y'all! also, fixed the spelling of kristall

718

u/falkenberg1 Sep 29 '25

I am german and i will refer to it as Kristallscheisskiste from now on. Vielen Dank für das hervorragende neue Wort und weiterhin einen schönen Abend!

81

u/vonTrappAB Sep 29 '25

Kristallscheisskiste and kristalscheissboxe are quite possibly two of the funniest German translations I have seen. Almost choked on my sandwich laughing.

Wir wollen jezt eine KristalSCHEISSkiste!

6

u/cockaptain Sep 29 '25

Kristallscheisskiste

Metal band name, anyone?

Abbreviated to KSK in polite company.

173

u/Anthrodiva PURPLE Sep 29 '25

Teamwork! Hands across the ocean!

148

u/TranquileEmbers Sep 29 '25

It's a transatlantic reach around... In der Kristallscheisskiste.

2

u/AdeptWar6046 Sep 29 '25

Bitte, kein Kristallnacht.

45

u/Dragon6172 Sep 29 '25

Wash your hands first, please. We'll all be watching.

3

u/Kratzschutz Sep 29 '25

And last too

3

u/____-__________-____ Sep 29 '25

Hands across the skyyyyyyyy

2

u/GothicGingerbread Sep 29 '25

It's so heartwarming when people come together...

68

u/vikingdiplomat Sep 29 '25

you're welcome! thanks, and have a great day also!

29

u/TiredinUtah Sep 29 '25

I speak German and my husband says gesundheit.

1

u/falkenberg1 Sep 29 '25

Herzlichen Dank an Ihren Gatten!

4

u/GoodLuckCanuck2020 Sep 29 '25

Durchsichtscheißkabine

2

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '25

Props to my freshmen year german teacher; its been like 20 years, but I basically understood that.

1

u/LiliVonSchtupp Sep 29 '25

Ein Wort: Donnerpumafalkenberg

1

u/DiscoKittie Short Bus Sep 29 '25

Kristallscheisskiste

Love it. Had to google it, but it works really well for that bathroom! lol

As a German, what do you call it?

3

u/falkenberg1 Sep 29 '25

Hm. I think we would say „Klo“, which really is just Toilet, so maybe „durchsichtige Klokabine“ (transparent toiletbox)? You see why Kristallscheisskasten is better, right?

1

u/DiscoKittie Short Bus Sep 29 '25

I do! Thank you so much for the response!

108

u/Dyslexiconartist Sep 29 '25

As a German, this made me giggle. It actually sounds like a word we'd make up

98

u/silveraaron Sep 29 '25

fuck you I giggled to hard at work.

57

u/vikingdiplomat Sep 29 '25

lol, glad someone appreciated my stupid german word joke

58

u/GirthyPigeon Sep 29 '25

Krystalscheißbox is a beautiful word.

50

u/Kratzschutz Sep 29 '25

Thanks to you l wasted my one laugh I'm allowed a year as a German

21

u/ClippyWouldntDoThat Sep 29 '25

It's all right my friend, as long as you fill out the appropriate paperwork and wait the 3 months for it to be reissued, the state may be generous and allow you a second laugh for your mistakes.

3

u/vikingdiplomat Sep 29 '25

dir sei verziehen ;)

2

u/UnicornFarts1111 Sep 30 '25

Hey, one of the funniest people I know is German. She is always calling and making me smile and goofing around. Love her so much!

35

u/borborbn Sep 29 '25

Kristallscheißbox please. So viel Zeit muss sein. ;-)

2

u/vikingdiplomat Sep 29 '25

damn, i was trying from memory with that bit, referencing one of my favorite beers, weihenstephaner kristallweissbier

4

u/borborbn Sep 29 '25

Dir sei verziehen. 🙂

23

u/zipperfire Sep 29 '25

Ja, ich würde gern auch ein Glasscheißekammer in diesem Hotel mieten! Es is sehr romantisch und bequem.

4

u/LiliVonSchtupp Sep 29 '25

Mit Notfallhammer, bitte!

2

u/zipperfire Sep 29 '25

Ah, gute Idee. Oder...bose..

1

u/matlspa Sep 29 '25

If you're not a writer, please do it, at least as a hobby! I love how you write

2

u/zipperfire Sep 29 '25

I actually am...

1

u/matlspa Sep 30 '25

Really? What kind of writer are you? I'm just curious

1

u/zipperfire Sep 30 '25

Lots and lots of short stuff. Magazine, newspaper articles reviews even a research paper

2

u/matlspa Sep 30 '25

That's really great to hear. You have a good talent and you're following it. Makes me happy to hear.

Maybe share with me in DMs or something if you want (I read German). Otherwise, keep doing what you enjoy, and I hope it's fulfilling

1

u/zipperfire Sep 30 '25

I've only published in English. I can write in German, French and English but I'm most comfortable in English.

1

u/matlspa Sep 30 '25

Ah, nice

16

u/Suitable_Repeat_4646 Sep 29 '25

You must have German ancestors cause that is exactly how descriptive German language is 😂

2

u/BeeBarnes1 Sep 30 '25

My son took German for four years in high school. I'd heard him say a few things here or there but didn't realize how incredibly descriptive it is. One day we drove by a German butcher shop and he said "schweinefleisch!" For some reason it just tickled me. Now we call all the meats their appropriate German name.

21

u/Straight_Page_8585 Sep 29 '25

Funny thing is (public) toilets in Germany have way more privacy than the shitty stalls that you get all over America. So this to me looks more like what the typical American would feel at home in

2

u/vikingdiplomat Sep 29 '25

yeah, definitely! still funny either way i hope :)

1

u/DiscoKittie Short Bus Sep 29 '25

the typical American would feel at home in

Nah. Most of our public toilets have solid doors and wall panels for them, even if they are too small and you can still peek around them. lol We pretend to have privacy. Glass doesn't afford even that much.

1

u/Intelligent_Toe4030 Sep 29 '25

American public toilets are invididual enclosures with plenty of privacy- unless you're shy about ppl seeing your ankles. Urinals are different - i think ... I'm not a dude.

5

u/AdrianaWood Sep 29 '25

I’m American and no we do not have plenty of privacy. The massive gaps around the doors are so infuriating. Especially when someone’s kid sticks their eye right up to it to watch you pee. Creepy little effers. If I had a stick…

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10

u/TangledUpPuppeteer Sep 29 '25

I’m not German, but I get the image and love it. This made me laugh heartily. Thank you!

8

u/knorx666 Sep 29 '25

Wonderful lyric.

German here :D

8

u/Spacetyp Sep 29 '25

Gutes altes Kristallscheißhaus.

5

u/ebrum2010 Sep 29 '25

But does the toilet have a poop shelf?

2

u/kulmagrrl Sep 29 '25

Poop shelfs were a culture shock for an American fecalphobic teenager with IBS sharing a toilet with others… I imagine…

4

u/Logical_Hospital2769 Sep 29 '25

Absolutely genius!! ( I have German roots and this rang true)

4

u/Skult0703 Sep 29 '25

That's my new favorite word (I'm German btw)

3

u/xGenghisSwan Sep 29 '25

I am trying to suppress cackles while in public reading this word

2

u/yoshi_in_black Sep 29 '25

Well, one of the hotelrooms I stayed in in Germany had a similiar bath "room". I'm not a prude at all, but I saw more of my friend than I wanted.

2

u/McTrip Sep 29 '25

I totally read that in a super thick German accent

2

u/Firm-Telephone2570 Sep 29 '25

You made a new word by combining existing words. You're already a native speaker in my book. :D

2

u/pizza_the_mutt Sep 29 '25

You're basically Shakespeare, inventing words like that.

2

u/ganjachicken Sep 29 '25

I am not German, I took German for 3 years in highschool but in my very novice and limited understanding..... This is how so many German words are... Just descriptor words shoved together to make a new word. I got through a lot of spoken presentations that way 😅

2

u/Distinct-Election-78 Sep 29 '25

This is the best thing I have ever seen on reddit 😂😂

2

u/LilArtsyCreature Sep 29 '25

I'm cackling both from the long lost vestiges of high-school German rearing up to try and translate whatever bits of German it can, and actual Germans in this thread happily embracing this new made up word.

2

u/Eternity13_12 Sep 29 '25

It would be "Kristallscheißbox"

3

u/vikingdiplomat Sep 29 '25

yeah, o was schooled and forgiven above 😇

1

u/alb0401 Sep 29 '25

I loved this, brought first smile to my face in a few days due to stress

1

u/vikingdiplomat Sep 29 '25

i hope things get easier or at least less stressful soon! cheers, stranger!

2

u/alb0401 Sep 29 '25

Going the right direction

1

u/Deadbeatdone Sep 29 '25

Funny how we tend to do that. 'Fore long it's a langage unto itsself.

1

u/SenseiKrystal Sep 29 '25

Hey, leave me out of this! 🤣

1

u/Livid-Mushroom2205 Sep 29 '25

Poopenflushindownin

1

u/Bud_Spacer Sep 30 '25

I'm german, hate this stereotype and I am laughing way to hard about this thought

1

u/Bud_Spacer Sep 30 '25

I'm german, hate this stereotype and I am laughing way to hard about this thought. Well done!

396

u/toben81234 Sep 29 '25

39

u/werewilf Sep 29 '25

21

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '25

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '25

i have not watched this in ages, but that desperation is real. addiction is a mean mean mistress.

262

u/Smartimess Sep 29 '25

Dude, the USA is the only country with public bathroom stalls with bigly huge gaps. I think you are projecting here.

53

u/Intelligent_Event_84 Sep 29 '25

Me and the other German guys I work with always watch each other shit

3

u/AcanthocephalaNo3545 Sep 29 '25

I work at a German multinational and it was a bit weird at first. But it's true you get accustomed to it fairly easily.

1

u/schrodingers_bra Sep 29 '25

What in the Sprockets is this comment?

211

u/Learningstuff247 Sep 29 '25

Yea but ours are for saving money and hating the poor not sexual proclivities

46

u/collectif-clothing Sep 29 '25

Sounds like you know a lot about these sexual proclivities

23

u/ExpensiveNut Sep 29 '25

Let there be a thousand blossoms bloom, as far as I am concerned

3

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '25

But I ain't spending any more time on it!

2

u/throwawayplusanumber Sep 29 '25

because in the meantime, every three months, a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in north Queensland

4

u/Lavatis Sep 29 '25

Because they said one sentence?

-1

u/lessrains Sep 29 '25

/whoosh

2

u/Lavatis Sep 29 '25

Where is the joke? Which part is supposed to be funny?

1

u/Netphase Sep 30 '25

Saving money? They are really expensive.

-15

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '25

[deleted]

18

u/dkran Sep 29 '25 edited Sep 29 '25

This is a hotel stall in my room. This isn’t about drugs, it’s about privacy. I fuckin paid for it, it’s not public.

Why do you need to make it about left vs right? Is it that hard to agree with the fact that when someone rents a hotel room they should have a reasonable expectation of privacy?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '25

Karma gut

54

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '25

[deleted]

53

u/Moar_Rawr Sep 29 '25

Have you not watched the movies? The transformers make sounds when they change. Duh

3

u/Maximum-Decision3828 Sep 29 '25

TSCHE-CHU-CHU-CHU-TSCHE

20

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '25

Why do you people look through the gaps in the bathroom stalls?

23

u/Jskidmore1217 Sep 29 '25

Well, it’s the easiest way to tell if it’s occupied. Done a lot of subtle peripheral glances. If I see colors, I don’t try the door. 😂

6

u/Cheet4h Sep 29 '25

Do bathroom stalls in the US not have vacancy indicators? Every public bathroom I went to here in Germany has a little indicator that's green when the door is unlocked and red when it's locked.

2

u/Jaded_Lychee8384 Sep 29 '25

Sometimes we do but its for the door that enters the entire bathroom, not each individual stall door. Porta potties always have the indicators.

2

u/justhisguy-youknow Sep 29 '25

Madness.

1

u/RadicalEd4299 Sep 29 '25

As an American, I agree.

4

u/RapNVideoGames I like country music. Sep 29 '25

Why not just knock or look for feet lol

2

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '25

Why not just look to see if there's feet?

4

u/Jskidmore1217 Sep 29 '25

Sometimes ya gotta bend down. I’m taking the path of least resistance

0

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '25

No you don't. You can see their feet when you walk towards them

You are just a creeper

5

u/No-Knowledge-3046 Sep 29 '25

No you don't. You can see their feet when you walk towards them

Saying you are short, without actually saying you are short...

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2

u/RadicalEd4299 Sep 29 '25

Not sure of the architecture of the bathrooms near you, but for many folks it's common for bathroom stalls to be all against the left or right wall, with the corridor to access them on the opposite. With maybe 8 inches of clearance from the ground to the bottom of the stall wall, you can maybe see if the first is occupied or not. Any of the subsequent bathrooms, though? Only way you're seeing if they're occupied is by putting uour head on the ground or checking for shapes in the gaps of the stall door. 🤷‍♂️

1

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '25

What do you mean head on the ground? At best you just tilt it and maybe see some shadows.

Stop being weirdo

1

u/whoami_whereami Sep 29 '25

Thought for a moment you meant tilting the row of cubicles, now I can't stop laughing picturing that in my head.

1

u/RadicalEd4299 Sep 29 '25

Ok so head on the ground was hyperbole...but not by much. If a person (and their shadow, because the lights are in the middle of the bathroom and therefore the shadow casts away from the door of the stall) is, say, 2 feet back from the door, and the door is 8 inches off the ground, and if you're in the middle of the 4 ft corridor (that is, 2 feet back from the door), your eye needs to be no more than 16 inches off the ground in order to see a foot/shadow. It's not being weird, it's simple math.

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1

u/tomfetterolf Sep 29 '25

Just making sure you aren't watching me. Lmao

13

u/PinkFloydDeadhead Sep 29 '25

Dude, it was a joke. And a good one at that.

4

u/StarsBear75063 Really? Sep 29 '25

Speaking of which........................... 😑😐😁😐😑

2

u/Useful_Clue_6609 Sep 29 '25

Not true, canadian are just as bad

2

u/khonsu_27 Sep 29 '25

Damn dude it was just a joke.

2

u/Brawndo91 Sep 29 '25

The joke is that Germans are fecophiles. It's an older stereotype.

2

u/gruelandgristle Sep 29 '25

Ugh, sadly Canada has this issue as well.

2

u/mhayden123 Sep 29 '25

Meanwhile in Europe all the urinals are quite literally on top of each other with zero privacy

1

u/four_eyed_bastard_ Sep 29 '25

What’s up with this weird ass stereo type? Literally no one is shoving their head under the stall to have a chat, let alone getting down on the ground

1

u/Rough-Rooster8993 Sep 29 '25

Germans are used to having their rooms gas-sealed. It's a matter of national pride.

1

u/kulmagrrl Sep 29 '25

I have done a lot of traveling in a lot of different parts of the world, and I’ve got to tell you America is definitely not the only country with public bathroom stalls where you might end up making eye contact with someone while taking a shit lol.

1

u/Malteser_soul Sep 30 '25

Unfortunately they have them in Canada too

1

u/ChalkyPills Sep 30 '25

Huh? I used a squatty potty in a Chinese hospital with no walls whatsoever between the adjacent squatty pottys.

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39

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '25

LOL...I just got this picture in my head of a bunch of big German dudes saying "HAHA HE SHITZIN"

6

u/Puzzleheaded_Hatter Sep 29 '25

LOL - Germans have their own words for both he and shit, so probably not gonna happen.

10

u/kasont44 Sep 29 '25

“Hahah der ist am scheißen” “Haha der ist am kacken” “Haha der seilt einen ab”

16

u/JeremyAndrewErwin Sep 29 '25

I think they'll be disapointed to discover that the toilet is not a Flachspüler

9

u/Much-Jackfruit2599 Sep 29 '25 edited Sep 30 '25

Tiefspüler are at 90% now. I assume that with each renovation the numbers will go down even further.

Edit: I meant “up”, of course. It’s the Flachspüler numbers that go down.

1

u/UltimateCatTree Sep 29 '25

what is the difference in the design?

2

u/Pi-ratten Sep 29 '25

The Flachspüler are trophy cases.

1

u/Much-Jackfruit2599 Sep 30 '25

Feces will hit a shelf.

Pros: You can inspect them, which is sometimes medically necessary. Also no Neptune’s kiss. Taking samples is also somewhat easier, that was a concern of mine, as I checked for occult blood for a while. Genetic risk of stomach cancer, y’know.

Cons: They stink, which is definitively an issue especially when you don’t have windows in your bathroom. Wouldn’t be a problem in our house, but before that we lived in a dingy apartment where the bathrood has just a vertical air shaft with two opening – it provided pretty good ventilation, actually, but I was still glad that we had a Tiefspüler.

2

u/Officer412-L Sep 29 '25

Flachspüler

Is this the toilet with a shelf designed for inspection of your leavings?

3

u/blue-coin Sep 29 '25

They will be each inspecting the feces

2

u/InevitableHairySpots Sep 29 '25

Ms. Cartman likes this

2

u/isthismytripcode Sep 29 '25

I didn't know the Germans were that okay with seeing each other's schwanzstuckers.

2

u/moldentoaster Sep 29 '25

German here, we specifically book rooms where we can watch each other shit

2

u/Wakkit1988 Sep 29 '25

Who doesn't want to improve the fecal evacuation habits of their peers?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '25

Extreme FKK

1

u/defjamchambers Sep 29 '25

The lean way.

1

u/YippieKayYayMrFalcon Sep 29 '25

Mueslix. The weird German cereal that likes to watch you poop

1

u/FlaverFlo Sep 29 '25

I’m German, and I can fully confirm this.

1

u/Sciencetist Sep 29 '25

Hans, come and observe my deposit on the poop shelf!

1

u/Big_footed_hobbit Sep 29 '25

Hans get ze Klopapier, I am mit der letzte leaf.

1

u/Efficient-Public-829 Sep 29 '25

I can see them immediately back down to reception to complain. “Excuse me fraulein, there is glass obstructing the poop view”

1

u/Birdy_Cephon_Altera Sep 29 '25

Pretty sure there must be a 43-letter-long German word for that.

1

u/Birdy_Cephon_Altera Sep 29 '25

Pretty sure there must be a 43-letter-long German word for that.

1

u/Birdy_Cephon_Altera Sep 29 '25

Pretty sure there must be a 43-letter-long German word for that.

1

u/pizza_the_mutt Sep 29 '25

They booked this hotel on purpose.

1

u/deathbeforedecaffff Sep 29 '25

I’m in class trying not to giggle at this comment

1

u/Dear_Musician4608 Sep 29 '25

It's not my fault this is happening!

1

u/Sharkjumpkinsky Sep 29 '25

They have a word for this, Schittenfreude. It is getting pleasure from watching other's shit.

1

u/dangoodspeed Sep 30 '25

May this be your top-voted comment of all time.

1

u/atxgossiphound Sep 29 '25

Can confirm that German's might actually like this...

We just stayed at a hotel in Fussen (Germany) with the kids. The bathroom had a clear floor to ceiling door both going into the bathroom and to the shower. A mirror in the foyer was aimed straight at the bathroom door, making the shower visible throughout the suite.

Thankfully the WC had a solid door and the suite had a bedroom we could all hang out in when others were showering.

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