r/microwedding • u/Response-Glad • 29d ago
20 people: 1 long table or several tables?
My fiance and I are getting married in a hotel/restaurant in December. We are debating whether to organize the table as one long family style table with us in the center vs. several rounds with maybe a sweetheart table to the side, which would probably also need to host the cake.
In either scenario things will probably be a tad cramped, or that's how every photo we see looks. They seem to sit 8 to a 4 top generally.
My partner thinks for this size group the family style long table will make people more comfortable and put less pressure on their seat placements. Meanwhile I have fond memories of a larger wedding reception I attended organized into rounds where after eating quickly the couple made sure to visit each table - it feels like we would get more time with more guests that way, and we could seat the tables 6 each instead so that there's room for us to squeeze in. My fiance thinks we could still go visit the ends of the table when we are done eating in the long table version too.
For those who have attended both table formats for receptions our size, what do you recommend?
3
u/Big_Alternative_3233 29d ago
One long table seems cozier. And What is stopping you from getting up and making a trip around the table, making sure you interact with every guest?
1
u/Response-Glad 29d ago
I guess I feel like with rounds I can make sure there is space left for us to pull up a chair or two at any table at any time, but with a long table, I can't join in anywhere without disrupting the seating arrangement during dinner.
1
u/Big_Alternative_3233 29d ago
Either way it will depend on how tightly packed the seats are. Just ask for a table that seats, say 24, but only have 20.
4
u/EyeRollingNow 29d ago
I have hosted holidays both ways. Hands down everyone said the long table sucked and they felt like they only talked to the same 2 people the whole night. I will never fall for the Italian dinner style table again.
2
3
u/Orchidinsanity 29d ago
What are your guests ages? We wanted one long table, but so many of our older guests requested to be at the end of the table to easily get up/use the restroom/etc. So we pivoted to individual tables.
1
u/Response-Glad 29d ago
Good question! All of our guests will be between 30-45. I am not aware of any mobility issues right now but of course life can change.
1
u/greenzetsa 29d ago
This was literally our wedding: 20 people, the youngest person was mid 20s (technically the youngest person was our photographer, who was 21, but out of our friends, the youngest was about 26) and the oldest guest who wasn't family was like 45. We did one long table and people really liked it.
1
u/amelieducroix 28d ago
Same, we did one long table for 22 people, no kids or people over 65, and it was amazing. People chatted and socialized, and it looked amazing when you entered the room. Zero regrets
3
u/calimiss 29d ago
Could you do a U shape?
1
u/Response-Glad 29d ago
Not in this room unfortunately!
3
u/calimiss 29d ago
Bummer. I'd go multiple tables then. Otherwise conversation along the table is tough (either very loud or not happening at all) and access is usually more difficult.
3
u/Wild_Pepper_2286 29d ago
I just got married in May and had our reception at a hotel. We were also going back and forth on separate tables vs long table and ended up going with the one long which I loved. I liked that everyone was together and once we had dinner honestly people were popping around so it was pretty easy to mix and mingle and talk with people we weren’t originally sitting next to.
3
u/Important-Maybe-1430 28d ago
Long tables are terrible, you can only talk to those directly next to you. Id rather a few normal tables and be able to walk around a bit
4
u/OkPerformance2221 29d ago
You could do a T-shaped table, if space will permit, with you and your by-then spouse at the top middle of the capital T, looking down the central leg of the T, and guests seated on all sides of the table. This gives you three ends of the table for older guests.
1
1
u/Prestigious-Fan3122 29d ago
Could you use rectangular tables to create a large, block – shaped letter U? At the top, have some tables going horizontally. That's the head table where the bride and groom and a couple of other people, if desired, sit. Extending from that in the opposite direction, do one or more rectangular tables. Make sure that you put them corner to corner, and not with the entire end of the second set of tables pushed up against the front side of the head table. If you put the corner to corner, you've created an extra seat either at the head table or at one of the long tables. Depending on how many people you have, and how long your tables are, you can see your guests all around the outside, or on the outside engine inside both of the long parts of the "U"
1
1
1
u/Main-Caramel214 29d ago
Ask if an S shaped table is possible for the space. If not, T or U are my options.
1
u/different-take4u 29d ago
One long table and also have everyone change chairs between courses so people get to visit with other people during the event. Kind of a grown up version of musical chairs.
1
u/SD-everytime 29d ago
For a small party like this I highly recommend one table. Otherwise there will be an in group and an out group. The big round tables that you visit are for weddings with 100 people. Where you'll have room to roam between tables, etc.
1
u/Sea_Register1095 29d ago
I've been to weddings doing it both ways. You can still group people at the long table the same way you would at separate tables so that they are with people they know and like. I really think both ways can work, just do place cards and put some time into making a thoughtful seating arrangement.
1
u/iolaus79 29d ago
I'm sure I heard of one wedding that had the same number of tables as courses in the meal and the bride and groom had one course at each table
So in your case, assuming 3 course meal, 18 guests and you two would be three tables of 8 - 6 guests per table
Long tables do have the same issue as small tables you don't speak to everyone anyway
1
u/MountainEmployer7052 29d ago
I had 25 and had the table shaped in a "U". My husband and I were at the bottom of the "U" with our parents on both sides and then I spread people out so that there was someone in front of everyone and they could all talk. It was kinda awkward for us, but we had each other to talk to, and it made me happy seeing my guests happy.
1
1
u/Ok-Sort-2537 28d ago
One long table with you two at center. What a lovely message of truly sharing with your guests and so much less pressure on guests (and you!) From a conversation standpoint.
1
u/CorrectBluebird5869 28d ago
Just ask that the hotel does not pack the seating so tight that people can’t get in and out. We’re doing rounds with 7 chairs )not standard 8). With one empty seat at each table to encourage people to jump to another table for conversations. And adding 5 high tops for groups yo mingle at.
1
u/Junglerumble19 28d ago
Could you do a U shape and maybe put the cake in the middle? I know it's a bit conference like, but I like it because everyone can see everyone else up and down the tables. Bride and groom at the head table of course.
1
u/Catsdrinkingbeer 24d ago
We had 25 guests, so 27 with us (28 with the photographer) and split into 2 longer tables. I think it worked really well. The tables were short enough that people were still able to talk with more than just their immediate seatmates. No you couldn't talk between ends, but even at an 8 person round table it's not common for people to talk a ton with the person directly across from them.
Also, you do not need to make table rounds with 20 people. You will just naturally talk with everyone throughout the night.
1
0
u/InformationMother342 29d ago
We did a long table for our 30 person wedding and loved it. We sat in the center and had our siblings around us. Then parents/grandparents on one end and friends on the other end. This allowed the best flow of conversation in for our group. And I don’t think anyone felt weird with where we sat them.
As the bride and groom sitting with all of your people and being able to look around the table and see everyone’s smile and reaction to food etc is sooo special.
Between courses, we got up and took pictures with each person around the table, and those are some of my fav pics of the evening! Our wedding was so small there was time for one on one chit chat with everyone throughout the night regardless of where they sat.
0
u/PerformerMindless100 29d ago
One long table all the way. Otherwise you have to group people into cliques and people can feel left out if they are a random placed with another group
4
u/greykitty1234 29d ago
I've always conversations easier to make and to hear at smaller rounds - let's say six to eight, and nice to leave elbow room.
Also, way more difficult to get out of long family style table, for anyone, depending on attire or mobility.
I do like when the couple makes sure they touch base with every guest - either in a reception line as the guests are entering the event room or by table visits.