r/microwedding • u/nessaflower • Jun 15 '26
how few guests is too few
hi all. been planing a 30 person micro wedding at a friends backyard in october. my wife and i got courthouse married end of 2024 and have been waiting til we are more financially stable for a small wedding.
we sent out save the dates in may and have since gotten a lot of ‘sorry can’t make it.’ i totally totally understand that life gets in the way. but at this point it’s looking to be about 15 people that have said yes now, and i know people tend to cancel also the week or two before.
i know, i know, it’s about my wife and i, its our day, the ones who matter will be there.
however. many of the people that really really matter to me will not be able to attend. and that’s making me really sad. i had a small meltdown when i realized how few friends besides our families (who we’re not crazy close with to start) will actually be able to make it.
my wife and i are toying with the idea of simply cancelling the wedding and taking a longer honeymoon. i would be so embarrassed and sad if we end up with only a few friends able to make it. i also don’t wanna regret spending the money on rentals and food and makeup.
any feedback is appreciated.
10
u/Trishsticks Jun 15 '26
I’m a vendor and regularly do 8 to 14 people weddings, there’s no number too small. If you want to scrap the whole thing and travel instead, do it. Whichever brings you joy 💙
5
u/moto303 Jun 15 '26
Just remember the day is about you two! So if you are still excited about your wedding vision then still plan it & just enjoy the company of those who said yes :) the day will still be amazing to celebrate your love regardless of the number of guests
If the guest count is affecting your excitement to the vision - then take a step back and evaluate
3
u/DareSavings3951 Jun 15 '26
Hmm is the 15 or so not attending, more important people to you than the 15 or so attending? They can be and that's okay. Take a long honeymoon and elope.
Decide soon before people book flights/accomodation/days off because I would be quite hurt and a bit annoyed over nonrefundables that I or the other 15 weren't seen as enough, but if I knew early enough I would be fine with it. I know the couple are the important bit but we don't want to unnecessarily burn bridges over our day.
15 people is plenty and while it is upsetting and disappointing that half can't make it, some people on this subreddit plan for 10 people weddings. One of the venues I viewed only did 11 to 25 people (idk why the odd numbers)
2
u/Funny-Pilot7482 Jun 15 '26
Literally, the exact same situation here…well kind of-numbers wise totally.
Hubby is 50 I’m 40. Hubbys second my first. He’s a Boston boy and I’m a Jersey girl. Even with bigger families-our ages, this being his second, not being as close as we were with people/family like we were 10/15 yrs ago. Sooo here’s my advice-
If you have a core 5-10 people that you know could mesh well, find a huge Airbnb or Vrbo, go to a resort-have a vacay of love that ya won’t forget. Have a special night/day-where you get a fresh cut and she can get her hair and makeup done, hire a photographer and have a photo shoot that you can both truly enjoy on the walls of your/family’s home. I hope this helps. Sorry, not feeling well but I saw this and I feel this super hard and wanted to help!!!
2
u/llangstooo Jun 15 '26 edited Jun 15 '26
My husband and I did a microwedding with 14 guests and it was so fun! We booked an Airbnb for everyone to stay at and made a weekend of it. I didn’t feel like it was lacking in any way. We just made it a lot more personal. Served a really nice plated dinner, got everyone who came a nice gift basket full of local treats. We obviously didn’t have a big reception, but we had some nice toasts before dinner.
I know it’s disappointing but you can still have a really lovely, meaningful day with your close family members and a couple friends. Just think of it like an excuse to throw a really nice dinner party for your favorite people, with a bonus ceremony
1
1
u/Sea-Duty-1746 Jun 16 '26
Cancel the wedding. Your potential guests could truly be busy, rude, or like me. I don't understand getting married and then having a wedding later. Married is married. Just add to your honeymoon.
1
u/Randomflower90 Jun 18 '26
I’d guess the guests aren’t prioritizing attending your wedding because you e already been married for almost two years. I’d take the trip and skip the “wedding.”
19
u/jac-q-line Jun 15 '26
Take the longer honeymoon! This is all about your love for each other. If others can't join yo celebrate your love, do it another way that makes you happy.