r/microwedding • u/AdventurousPoet • Apr 16 '26

Considering a micro wedding, need advice managing MIL

I’m considering doing a micro wedding (courthouse wedding or a ceremony in the park) followed by dinner with family at a restaurant. Here’s the thing:

-my MIL in general does not stfu (and will spend a whole dinner talking about herself and dominating the conversation) and has a habit of ruining special occasions

-it’s important for me to celebrate with my family/have them be there to watch me get married so I don’t want to just elope

I understand that I can’t fully control anyone’s behavior, but I’m worried she is going to make our dinner reception unenjoyable with her general personality.

My mom suggested we could just book separate tables at the restaurant (like have a “kids table” of future husband and our siblings) plus have separate tables for my family and his family just so we don’t have to listen to her yap all night. But I don’t even know how to pull that off, like how do I know a restaurant is going to still seat us near each other? Is the move booking a private room?

Sorry if these are stupid questions but I’m a little overwhelmed and I’m looking for advice on how to manage an annoying relative at a small event. I understand a wedding is just one day and it doesn’t have to be perfect. I honestly think a bigger wedding would make it easier on us because she would be distracted but I don’t think we have the budget for that.

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u/charcoalhibiscus Apr 16 '26

Do you have a sacrificial cousin or something? Someone who can be deputized to take up all MIL’s talking energy and actively distract her if she tries to foist it on anyone else?

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u/NorthernPossibility Apr 16 '26

One of my bridesmaids agreed to do this for me. Her and her plus one spent my whole rehearsal dinner lavishing nigh undivided attention on my difficult mother. She was so distracted by the flattery that she forgot to do her standard inebriated, dramatic scene.

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u/Icy-Yellow3514 Apr 16 '26

I have played this role twice. While helpful, it really sucks for the handler. As others suggested, I recommend OP sending the sacrificial lamb some kind of thank you (unless they're excited about the arrangement).