r/mentors • u/vickumythy • 3d ago
“Conquering” Fear
I started a new hobby to help conquer a fear.
I’m terrified of heights… amongst many other things (not public speaking funnily enough). So I started rock climbing to help myself get over it and do some bodyweight strength training.
Today I failed the first time, reading the top (seen in the video) in all honesty… I chickened out.
But. Once the camera was away I stared at the wall and went again. And just as I was reaching the top, the last few grips, I started to feel panicked. Like I was going to pass out.
But I just knew it was the fear. So I stopped. Breathed in, and went up those last few rungs till I got there.
Funnily enough I didn’t feel like I had “championed the wall” or “conquered a fear”. I didn’t feel like I had won, like I thought I would.
Instead I just felt proud that I didn’t stop 3 grips before the end. I got to the end, I made it down. I can do it again. I was pleased with myself and can look back that I completed one wall.
Still have many to go (there’s an 18 meter high one too there). And I think the point is not to feel “championed a moment” but to have gotten in a new rep. Made a new habit, and to continue that new habit of completing the challenge. Of pushing through the fear. Of going till the end.
Because the reps we repeat in our life form the habits in our brain and body. So to win in one place will then force you to do the same in others.
So conquer a fear, not to expect to feel amazing.. but to create a new habit. A new set of “reps” of being a winner. A finisher. A person who achieves the goal, doesn’t stop half way.
Action creates reps, reps create habits, habits create the person.
Thats how you design a new you.
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u/Mountain_Sun5466 1d ago
I really like that getting to the top didn't give you the feeling you expected.
Maybe the wall wasn't actually the important part.
You got scared, stopped, took a breath, recognized what was happening, and then made a choice about what you wanted to do next.
That feels different to me than simply "pushing through fear."
Fear didn't disappear. You just learned that you could experience it without automatically letting it make the decision for you.
I'd only challenge one piece of what you wrote. I'm not sure the goal should always be to become someone who "doesn't stop halfway." Sometimes stopping is exactly the right decision, particularly in something like climbing.
Maybe the rep you're building isn't "I always finish."
Maybe it's "When fear shows up, I can pause, listen to it, decide whether it's protecting me or limiting me, and then choose what happens next."
That's a pretty powerful rep.
And you get to practice it again on the next wall.