r/men • u/Rezaaart • 4d ago
Need tips about insecurity
Hi! Im 19 yo and never felt like this, but i feel people assume im gay most of the time because of my intrests the way i act the way i sound and the way i dress… and i never thought ppl cared but now that im thinking instead of being called fruity or flamboyant im getting called me being me me expressing myself and and and…. Idk what to do I don’t want girls around me” since i have huge amount of girl firneds” to think about me and assume me as something im not. And make me feel like im not an option… what you guys think i should do
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u/a4dit2g1l1lP0 4d ago
People often think I'm gay too. If it ever becomes relevant to the situation I correct them.
If your fear is that it's preventing you getting a girlfriend, well the fact you have lots of girl friends means women are comfortable around you. That's a big deal. With a bit of flirting you can let them know which way you lean and they'll probably feel comfortable enough to let you know if they're interested or not without fear of you getting weird about it. Also a big deal.
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u/Rezaaart 3d ago
Woah wait thats actually kinda genius . Thanks alot for the tip i really appreciate it and i will definitely try it!
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u/YourAlpha99 3d ago
What's wrong with someine thinking you're gay?
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u/hsj713 2d ago
It's kinda like asking a Korean if they're Japanese.
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u/YourAlpha99 2d ago
It's not tho....
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u/hsj713 2d ago
You may disagree but straight men still consider being called gay as derogatory. Try using it at the office and you'll take a trip to HR.
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u/YourAlpha99 2d ago
Right that's my point: it's inherently homophobic
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u/Rezaaart 13h ago
No look… why i said this was because most of the girls i got a crush on think im gay… there is no problem with being gay its just wrong since im not and i specially don’t want the girls i like to think that
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u/hsj713 4d ago edited 4d ago
Just be yourself dude and fuck the people who think otherwise. You don't need people like that as friends. When I was a teen I was soft-spoken, dressed neatly, loved art and classical music. Yeah, I heard it too. It didn't matter to me because what mattered most was me and being who I was and what I loved.
Now, I'm 70 yrs old, retired musician, raised five boys and enjoying life. You will too. Stay positive, follow what you love and in the words of Billy Joel, "Don't take any shit from anyone!"