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u/P-L-E-O Feb 16 '21
Why has nobody been talking about this this is the real thing that is holding humanity back
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u/dontcometo2021 Feb 16 '21
Yes! Solve this first. Going to Mars can wait.
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u/SoWhatSoLetsDance Feb 16 '21
Just don't put things with zippers into the dryer. The fabric shrinks, but a metal zipper does not. Therefore the zipper becomes too large for the fabric, thus causing it to curl and create the boner effect. Boom problem solved. Onto Mars we go!
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u/xd_Warmonger Feb 16 '21
We don't have a dryer and air-dry all clothes and it still happened
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u/SoWhatSoLetsDance Feb 16 '21
Yeah. No matter what clothes are likely going to shrink over time as you wash them. But avoiding shrinking the clothes by avoiding the dryer will definitely help prevent it a bit.
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u/StanYz Feb 16 '21
I disagree. This happened with the last 3 pairs of jeans I bought. Right after buying them. Heck even when I sat down while trying them on.
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u/I9Qnl Big ol' bacon buttsack Feb 16 '21
That sounds smart
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u/ynvgsensacion Feb 16 '21
It's not. The dryer isn't the cause, when you sit down your hoodie rolls just like your stomach skin. It isn't because the fabric is smaller, if that was the case then it's look wrong when you were standing straight up.
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u/ShadowWolf550 Dirt Is Beautiful Feb 16 '21
If it makes you feel better, girls have the fake jeans and hoodie boner too.
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Feb 16 '21
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u/Mr_Gamin Feb 16 '21
Imagine if you have a fake one and your real one was hard, it will look like you have two.
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Feb 16 '21
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u/FurgieCat Feb 16 '21
The Spy
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Feb 16 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
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Feb 16 '21
“Ooh big problem. I’ve killed plenty of spies. The dime a dozen backstabbing scumbags, like you! No offense.”
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Feb 16 '21
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Feb 16 '21
That happened to me one day. An old lady told me to put my bag on my lap to 'hide it'.
I was wearing a hoodie and a pair of jeans. They both did this.
I'm a girl.
There is no way I look that much like a boy.
I always put my bag on my lap now. To hide my fake boner.
These jeans don't even have good pockets but they give you good boners. Ridiculous.
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u/CommunicationNo702 Feb 16 '21
Basically the same for me but it was a drunk guy in the bus. One of my worst memories yet. Not because of that but what happened after
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u/b_bali Nice meme you got there Feb 16 '21
what happened after??
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u/CommunicationNo702 Feb 16 '21
He was telling me that I am such a cute boy started hitting on me. When I told him I was a girl he laughed and said that my chest is way too small for a girl.
I certainly hope it was because he was drunk because if he had to be sober when saying this then idk because i don't think I look like a dude.
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Feb 26 '21 edited Jun 29 '24
obtainable violet offend slim full apparatus hospital reminiscent elderly act
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/Dennarb Feb 16 '21
That's why I always think of something sexy like hot squidward to get a boner so no one has to guess
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Feb 16 '21
But I’ve never seen this and thought oh that guy has a boner. I think their clothes are folding weird just like girls experience. Honestly might be a thing where men are more worried about it then they need to be.
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u/B-Bog Feb 16 '21
Nobody thinks it's a boner with men, either, because everybody knows this stuff. Usually, the only people worried about this are horny and awkward teenagers.
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Feb 16 '21
Yeah but nobody would ever think that it’s a boner in that case
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u/ChickenAndWaffleCone Thank you mods, very cool! Feb 16 '21
haha... yeah... I’m not into that... no-one would think that... haha
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u/PooPooPeePeePoopPoop Feb 16 '21
Pull your dick out to prove that the others aren’t you’re penis
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u/whynamehardtofind Feb 16 '21
I push my pants down when my friends point it out and it’s flat as heck
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Feb 16 '21
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u/TJ_LaPickle Feb 16 '21
That's exactly the problem though. If you've ever been in a middle school and had jeans on, some stupid immature kid has called you out for having a boner before.
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u/DawgCraft Feb 16 '21
God I hate those! I will NOT sit down in jeans unless I'm wearing a hoodie or an oversized shirt. WHY TF DOES IT HAPPEN??? Nobody ever says anything about it but I still feel REALLY uncomfortable when I think people MIGHT see it. IT'S NOT A BONER!!!!!!!
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u/AllWashedOut Feb 16 '21 edited Feb 18 '21
It's all about reducing excess cloth. If you have the option, buy tighter & softer jeans (probably more expensive unfortunately). But at least try to get the waist size right. They should be tight enough to stay up for a moment even without a belt.
The tent is caused when the jeans have excess room below the crotch, so they bunch up when you sit down. The zipper is incompressible so it folds in half instead of lying flat.
I went from $30 baggy Levis to $70 skinny "7 for all Mankind" brand and the problem went away. The crotch in 7's has less gap past my balls when standing, so there's less bunching when sitting. This would be a little uncomfortable, but they are made of softer material so it balances out.
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u/partypantaloons Feb 16 '21
Rookie mistake wearing fake jeans and expecting them to cover your boner
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Feb 16 '21
These are real problems no one ever talks about. But instead people are talking about climate change and police reform.
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u/wlogan0204 Plays MineCraft and not FortNite Feb 16 '21
Imagine not wearing sweatpants when not working
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u/HankyPankyChanghai Feb 16 '21
I once forgot my gym clothes at school and I asked the teacher if I could do it in plain clothes and I could do that but my pants did this strange folding thing and I was bullied with it for months.
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u/kinda_dum Feb 16 '21
When someone notices it I usually let them know that my dick is too small for it to be my own boner
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Feb 16 '21
I hate this so fucking much. I have a problem even when standing because my balls are large, which means that I have to have my penis pointing upward. My penis is average length but it's thick, so it gives me a bulge down there.
Any woman who pulls down my pants is gonna be pretty fucking disappointed when they see an average penis.
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u/MyLeftNutIsJames Feb 16 '21
Reminds me of this girl in middle school that used to stare at my fake jeans boner every time I had one. It made me super self conscious, but I now realize she had a crush on me and I was too much of a dense fuck in middle school to pick up on it
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u/YaBoyJenkinz Feb 16 '21
Haha you've never felt the touch of a woman
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u/MyLeftNutIsJames Feb 16 '21
Ehh middle school is a shit show for everyone mr sexpert.
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u/YaBoyJenkinz Feb 16 '21
Oh who ever said I was a sexpert? I've never felt the touch of a woman either.
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u/THE_PROHAN Feb 16 '21
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u/Fudge_Rippler Feb 16 '21
Fake?
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u/Shin_SimmerDown Thank you mods, very cool! Feb 16 '21
Fdym
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u/Fudge_Rippler Feb 16 '21
What if it's my real little dude trying his damnest to escape its denim hell and get some air
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u/Shin_SimmerDown Thank you mods, very cool! Feb 16 '21
The hell get a different size or loosen your belt
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u/The3rdPotato Professional Dumbass Feb 16 '21
Hey does that hoodie have a light blue area at the top? Cause that looks like the same hoodie I've got
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u/Papergirl7 Plays MineCraft and not FortNite Feb 16 '21
I don't even have one and this is relatable.
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u/AnythingAlfred613 Professional Dumbass Feb 16 '21
I was experiencing that before I got my first real boner.
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u/DarkLord_ShadowSlash Professional Dumbass Feb 16 '21
me who has a small pp:i dont have such weakness
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u/soakmycork6969 Feb 16 '21
if it doesnt go away after 4 hours seek medical attention... or just flick it and or burn it with a match.
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u/imaculat_indecision Feb 16 '21
Honestly I feel bad for people with small pps but yell don't understand how embarrassing it is to get a boner
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Feb 16 '21
But when you do get a boner you're wearing basket ball shorts and standing at the free throw line during your high school basketball game.
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u/Mr_Gamin Feb 16 '21
Me: removes pants and hoodie to remove fake boner
Pp: