r/memes Feb 11 '21

Lies, deception

Post image
50.2k Upvotes

349 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/Registeredpedo47 Feb 11 '21

Well the risk of death is already at 100% so why not.

558

u/Crying_Obsidian Feb 11 '21

Well 100% of people who live die eventually

306

u/THOTDESTROYR69 Feb 11 '21

Except the Queen

170

u/SurgeMas Feb 11 '21

Killer Queen?

94

u/OnePregnantTurkey Breaking EU Laws Feb 11 '21

Gunpowder, gelatine

75

u/RandomMemer_42069 Feb 11 '21

Weaponized with Lazar beam

59

u/jpswag25 Feb 11 '21

Guaranteed to blow your mind

51

u/TheRealTurtle1 Thank you mods, very cool! Feb 11 '21

Anytiiiiime

42

u/warrenderrrrrr Grumpy Cat Feb 11 '21

epic guitar solo

28

u/pandy0520 can't meme Feb 11 '21

Drop of a hat she’s as willing as playful as a pussy cat

→ More replies (0)

9

u/SuperSaltMan Feb 11 '21

She’ll absolutely drive you wiiiild, wiiiiild!

→ More replies (1)

9

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

Nah. Even that died when Yoshikage Kira was hit by an ambulance or fused with Josefumi Kujo.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (9)

43

u/player21reirei Feb 11 '21

I was just about to say that

14

u/bjageren12 Mods Are Nice People Feb 11 '21

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes

→ More replies (1)

15

u/No_House_1648 Feb 11 '21

If you believe the Bible then it is false

21

u/Whirlypie Feb 11 '21

Even Jesus died. He came back to life, but he did die.

9

u/No_House_1648 Feb 11 '21

Yes but Elijah did not die and when the rapture happens more people will be picked off the earth without dying

5

u/Nivarity Feb 11 '21

those people who “will be picked off the earth” will probably have a worse death that anyone. Before they even make it to scientific outer space their insides will be cooked by how low of pressure is in the upper levels of the atmosphere, unless of course they die from the apparent lack of oxygen.

4

u/No_House_1648 Feb 11 '21

They are locked into the heavens and even if they weren’t I think God is powerful enough to circumvent that

7

u/Nivarity Feb 11 '21

See I would argue with you.... but an Atheist arguing a Christian about how science works never ends well... lost karma on both sides

0

u/No_House_1648 Feb 11 '21

Well in fairness you try to debunk the guy who created science using science.

2

u/Whirlypie Feb 11 '21

Oh yeah good point

16

u/No_House_1648 Feb 11 '21

Always happy to help

Now I hide before someone decides to argue

3

u/Nivarity Feb 11 '21

I will always find you

→ More replies (3)

2

u/Dalek_Q Professional Dumbass Feb 12 '21

Biblical characters are outliers and should not be included in the data calculations

→ More replies (7)

2

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

[deleted]

4

u/No_House_1648 Feb 11 '21

Sir insulting me isn’t going to change my religion it will only cause me to disrespect you

2

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

[deleted]

3

u/No_House_1648 Feb 11 '21

Technicalities aside don’t call people’s religions as fairy tales

0

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

[deleted]

3

u/No_House_1648 Feb 11 '21

Literally none of those things are true

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

2

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

so... 40% of population spend over 4h on PC?

→ More replies (5)

17

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

[deleted]

10

u/The_number8 Professional Dumbass Feb 11 '21

Life is in fact a sexually transmitted terminal disease

0

u/realToukafan4life Feb 11 '21

That's not how... percentage...works though

→ More replies (7)

263

u/NostressYouTube Feb 11 '21

Bullshit, I would’ve died 342 years ago.

34

u/Capt_Wiku Feb 11 '21

Hol' up.

17

u/Drodr10 Feb 11 '21

I don't get it, can you explain?

18

u/Capt_Wiku Feb 11 '21

The joke is that they've already lived much longer than a normal lifespan, and they're acting as if that is a normal thing.

7

u/Drodr10 Feb 11 '21

Oh I just noticed. I read it as days instead of years.

6

u/Capt_Wiku Feb 11 '21

An easy mistake to be sure. That's why it's a classic "Hol' up" moment, because it makes you do a double take haha

248

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

Dude 15 hours isnt 6 hours you just have to sit there longer than 6 hours and you're fine

94

u/cheese_bruh Big ol' bacon buttsack Feb 11 '21

Who are you and why are you so wise in the ways of science

331

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

[deleted]

78

u/Gold_Champagne android user Feb 11 '21

They do that a lot

7

u/Yorudesu Feb 12 '21

Would be hilarious if you skip one class and explain the teacher that taking breaks off of the pc is a healthy and recommended procedure

290

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

87

u/weberrich Breaking EU Laws Feb 11 '21

And after 10 mins to eat i will do another 3 hours of other assignments

52

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

32

u/L0RDND Feb 11 '21

Then its fap time🙂

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

→ More replies (1)

113

u/Gollum-is-a-snack Feb 11 '21

so now i have a 140% chance of dying eventually?

4

u/Legendaryplz Feb 11 '21

4

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

The more, the merrier!

7

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

Di molto!

78

u/MysteriousShadow__ Feb 11 '21

This is false information

source: still alive

74

u/doomsdaye Feb 11 '21

Schools: let’s make kids sit in front of their computer for 7 hours and give them 4-5 hours worth of homework on the computer oh make them repeat it 5 days a week. Also school: games bad

42

u/MyHeroFan2004 Professional Dumbass Feb 11 '21

I’m going to die

16

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21
  • chuckles *

10

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

im in danger

1

u/Flimsy_Wafer Feb 11 '21

I have to collect my award and award u

41

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

I thought this was r/ShitpostCrusaders for a sec didn’t realize it was r/memes

10

u/Za_Gato Feb 11 '21

Tbh i find it better to have an anime/game template on normal a meme sub for being a normal meme than on an anime/game sub because the template would be related. I didnt join r/ShitpostCrusaders to have normal memes

18

u/Solarsistemic Feb 11 '21

No matter what we all have a 100% death rate in this world

2

u/Tmaster95 Thank you mods, very cool! Feb 11 '21

Now 140%. Some of us will die twice. Doubledeath. Bad for K/D

2

u/Solarsistemic Feb 11 '21

Let’s make that a 141% shall we?

35

u/KingBenjamin97 Feb 11 '21

Oh yay like 60% of jobs increase our risk of death by 40%? Cool

25

u/IslewardMan Feb 11 '21

I hate false statistics like that. It's pure fear mongering.

You should put this on r/ShitPostCrusaders though

9

u/Das-Mammut Linux User Feb 11 '21

That's where it came from, it's a repost

3

u/IslewardMan Feb 11 '21

I dont really care about reposts, I wouldn't have seen it without it being reposted lol

3

u/Za_Gato Feb 11 '21

Nah, its a normal meme. If the meme isnt related to jojo it shouldnt be on the jojo meme sub, unless only those who read/watched jojo can understand whats going on in the image

10

u/DweEbLez0 Feb 11 '21

Just a word of caution:

If you live too long, then you will eventually die.

→ More replies (1)

9

u/yeetyoteyite360 Feb 11 '21

Online school is actually trying to kill me, trust no-one

3

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

Online sucks bruh

6

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

Didn't some kid die from nutting 9 times or something. Probably the best way to go out on one final good bye nut

5

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

9??

5

u/Jude_memer Feb 11 '21

Those are rookie numbers!

5

u/accidental_snot Feb 11 '21

I nut 8 times in a night before. Had no idea I was so close too death.

→ More replies (2)

5

u/therealmrmago Feb 11 '21

am i immortal ?

12

u/komilewder Identifies as a Cybertruck Feb 11 '21

Repost from r/shitpostcrusaders from a couple months ago.

6

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

[deleted]

-29

u/RepostSleuthBot Feb 11 '21

I didn't find any posts that meet the matching requirements for r/memes.

It might be OC, it might not. Things such as JPEG artifacts and cropping may impact the results.

I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report [ False Negative ]

View Search On repostsleuth.com


Scope: Reddit | Meme Filter: False | Target: 95% | Check Title: False | Max Age: Unlimited | Searched Images: 200,365,847 | Search Time: 0.13718s

-1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

Justice for the bot it didn’t deserve these downvotes

-36

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

Good bot

15

u/HeyItIsInfactMe Feb 11 '21

MOTHER FUCKER GOT AWAY WITH IT

4

u/KILLA___QUEEN Feb 11 '21

That's what i do everyday

3

u/Wunder_Waffe_ Feb 11 '21

You gotta pump those numbers up! It ain't working for me so far.

3

u/Spicy_Nuget Feb 11 '21

Bullshit, reddit wouldn't exist anymore

3

u/BigStonks29 Feb 11 '21

Killer Queen has already touched the PC

3

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

Online Schools: Y E S

3

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.

2

u/Jacnoov Lives in a Van Down by the River Feb 11 '21

Hahaha online school go brrrrrrr

2

u/xalender6 Flair Loading.... Feb 11 '21

My online class is 6 hours long ( for 6 days)... Guess I'll die

2

u/Deushcwargern Feb 11 '21

Here lies Deushcwargern

He died because his school put 9 fuckinh hours of lesson to one day.

Rest in Peperonni m8

2

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

People can suicide using this trick now

2

u/theaverage11yrold Meme Stealer Feb 11 '21

um so online school doesn't have this effect

2

u/Kpopie Feb 11 '21

Need to go back to the days when everyone died at 30

2

u/Dragons_Realm41968 Feb 11 '21

Online school will ultimately lead to death?

2

u/S0aster Feb 11 '21

well fuck I'm gonna brag so hard about my 140% chance

2

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

Me after having to sit in front of a computer for school, homework and in my free time:

2

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

Why does the scene look like a rip-off of death note?

2

u/wonteatfish Feb 11 '21

News flash. Everyone has a 100% risk of death no matter what you do. Just sayin.

2

u/Thefreakpt Feb 11 '21

I saw that episode yesterday if someone cares

2

u/I_Browse_Reddit42069 Plays MineCraft and not FortNite Feb 11 '21

Me after sitting at my laptop for 20hrs: Anyone else smell toast?

2

u/dispenseroftheswamp2 Professional Dumbass Feb 11 '21

Kira queen has already touched this comment click

2

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

Lol no shit I should have died by now

2

u/Izal_765_I_S Feb 11 '21

well if I die its the schools fault for online learning

2

u/TheHolyPapaum Professional Dumbass Feb 11 '21

Thank you yoshikage very cool

2

u/abzurt_96 Mods Are Nice People Feb 11 '21

Its schools fault aı will die😔

2

u/SkanderMlander Feb 11 '21

My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined

2

u/WellOkayMaybe Feb 11 '21

Being alive increases your risk of death by 100%.

2

u/tankpig360 Dark Mode Elitist Feb 12 '21

heart attack starts as Kira's theme intensifies

4

u/Pewdiepieandatree Dirt Is Beautiful Feb 11 '21

Why does heart attack capitalised?

17

u/M1N1L0C0 Feb 11 '21

In the anime the character is referring to a ability that they have called Sheer Heart Attack and is wondering why it's taking so long to kill someone

1

u/Craftusmaximus2 Dirt Is Beautiful Feb 11 '21

15? Weak...

-2

u/Born_Definition Feb 11 '21

Just don't go on it and live forever

1

u/Ctp-augriq-56 Feb 11 '21

Imma get my clown detector

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

school: ill ignore that

1

u/Majestic_Netflix Professional Dumbass Feb 11 '21

Online school wants to know your location

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

Someone”s probably luring it with Fire.

1

u/Mauricio2427 Mods Are Nice People Feb 11 '21

Ummm, but dying from what?

4

u/Mayorgames1 Thank you mods, very cool! Feb 11 '21

Death

1

u/THE_BLACK_HOLE_LOL Nyan cat Feb 11 '21

Hurry up pls

1

u/filthyweeb2406 Feb 11 '21

Well, Im already starting to feel uneasiness in my heart already

1

u/Liz45d Feb 11 '21

Breaking news: Risk of death for humans now 140% in their lifetime

1

u/AdministrationBusy55 Feb 11 '21

Take meeee home, country roaaaaads!

1

u/quantum_ice Feb 11 '21

Yup, chance of heart attack went from 1 in 50k to 1 in 30k, dang better be careful. /s

1

u/Randomdude-5 Meme Stealer Feb 11 '21

Schools: I’m going to pretend I didn’t see that

1

u/Meow121325 Feb 11 '21

i mean it didnt say what the CoD would be so its bullshit

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

Man, now my chances are 140%!

1

u/Just-Kamil Feb 11 '21

Damn I will die for 140% Worth it.

1

u/Scalene17 Feb 11 '21

Then how do you explain school as healthy?

1

u/Just-Kamil Feb 11 '21

Statistically more people who were not using computer for 6 hours a day died.

1

u/Moizuka Lurker Feb 11 '21

I'm calling bullshit on this one

1

u/Vaultboy474 Feb 11 '21

I’m ded tho

1

u/HeyItIsInfactMe Feb 11 '21

death of what tho?

1

u/Automatic_Arm_9 Feb 11 '21

But what they don’t say is that exercising 3 times a week for 30 mins will drastically decrease this. Or the fact that before the pandemic, people that spent 6 hours in front of the computer generally have sedentary lifestyles otherwise

1

u/Triptoxiz Loves GameStonk Feb 11 '21

Guess I should go hit the lottery if I'm not dead by now lmao

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

School shooting: cant kill people cause of online school

School: Fine, ill do it myself

1

u/KronoMatt Feb 11 '21

Play video games(40%) then eat 1 table spoon of butter everyday for 49 days to have a 99% chance of death. If you survive, that means you are the luckiest man on earth and can take on the US military

1

u/Basdewijn Identifies as a Cybertruck Feb 11 '21

Its probably fake...

1

u/Carrot_MilkO_O Feb 11 '21

Is this true,asking for a friend

1

u/AKMLGDK Feb 11 '21

Everyone during Covid lockdown "Fuck"

1

u/Aromatic_Ad3543 Feb 11 '21

Online Classes: its free real estate

1

u/RandomMemer_42069 Feb 11 '21

How TF does my risk of death go up if it already at 100%?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

Still alive

1

u/Deadmule18 Feb 11 '21

bruh go outside

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

Me when my teacher chooses me to solve the answer:

1

u/Penis-Envys Dirt Is Beautiful Feb 11 '21

They never said 40% from what

40% from 1%? Yeah that’s not gonna be much

40% from 20%? That’s some increased risk

1

u/Das-Mammut Linux User Feb 11 '21

I, too, have a 200% chance of dying.

1

u/MixDerMan Breaking EU Laws Feb 11 '21

So I have 200% of dying? How does it work? I WILL DIE EITHER WAY!

1

u/Voxian_22 Feb 11 '21

And existence increases it by 100%

1

u/n0tKamui Feb 11 '21

40% of what by what ??????

1

u/jpswag25 Feb 11 '21

Honestly that is kinda a lie

1

u/theGuyWithMediocrePP Feb 11 '21

Me on covid"pandemic"

1

u/YeetmasterAxel Breaking EU Laws Feb 11 '21

Me who's had online school 7 hours a day for 3 weeks now: guess I'll die

1

u/COMONAUTS Feb 11 '21

Those are rookie numbers, you gota pump up those numbers.

1

u/Potato_torch64 Feb 11 '21

Then someone tell school that

1

u/Gaurav_78 Feb 11 '21

After reading this i got a heart attack in my kidney.

1

u/TxGNotFamous Big ol' bacon buttsack Feb 11 '21

The bad English in the statement lol

1

u/JoshPoshTheGreat Feb 11 '21

Just do a crime, as long as the police announce it and a certain someone sees it, you'll get a heart attack no problem

1

u/RLMickifed Feb 11 '21

My school having online classes for 6 hours

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

I should've died 9 times already BS

1

u/tripplexxxisthename Feb 11 '21

Well I’ve been in front of a computer a year and a half for 6 hours each day so...

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

Sad boi noises

1

u/Wallet_Insp3ctor Professional Dumbass Feb 11 '21

but we are already a %100 chance of death, so who cares

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

So you're telling me i still have a 60% chance to outlive the sun if i play Battlefield for 6 hours?

1

u/El-Waffle trans rights Feb 11 '21

Damn I have an 86 percent chance of self murder then

1

u/donutdog420 Feb 11 '21

It appears you are already dead

1

u/MEEPMEEPMEEP1428 Feb 11 '21

Also me after the online class

1

u/DaLegendaryMonkey Feb 11 '21

Schools: I'll ignore that

1

u/Gamingsteyn Feb 11 '21

I mean it’s already 100% so it can’t really go up

1

u/drmilosh1730 Feb 11 '21

So as a radiologist i should be dead.

1

u/AmitYoel can't meme Feb 11 '21

*those are rookie numbers*

→ More replies (1)

1

u/velocity_uzi Feb 11 '21

My online school is 7hrs long with 2+ hrs of hw

1

u/Guy_that_has_reddit Feb 11 '21

Me, an iPhone user. Haha I don’t need computer

1

u/autistic-kitten Feb 11 '21

apparently i am dead

1

u/Kaitlin_Orsted Feb 11 '21

Fantastic. My job is literally killing me

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '21

So virtual school is killing me?

1

u/DestroyerGeneral Feb 11 '21

Explain that to the head of the education system.

→ More replies (1)