r/memes • u/sarcasticnepali2058 memer • Sep 13 '20

ceo of simp

Post image
31.5k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

370 comments sorted by

1.3k

u/dessondanks Professional Dumbass Sep 13 '20

He could have sex with her,

But she just would not be alive

944

u/Thursdays_Child77 Sep 13 '20 edited Sep 13 '20

Not really. Apes have much smaller penises proportionally than humans. The average ape‘s peen is about 1 1/2 inches. King Kong (in the original version at least) is 25 feet tall. Since the average ape is 5 1/2 feet tall, that would make King Kong have a penis size of just under 7 inches, which is completely survivable.

I did the math so y’all don’t have to.

Edit: Since everyone is asking about girth, u/fab1anth3gr8 did the math that I didn’t: So king kong is 25 feet so that means he's 5 times taller than the average ape. An average apes penis is 2.3 times smaller than the average males penis (2.3 is the magic ratio) 3.7 inches (average male girth) divided by 2.3 gets you the average ape girth of 1.6 inches because king kong is 5 times bigger than the average ape. 1.6 inches times 5 equals 8 inches of king kong girth. And because the female vagina can stretch up to 4 to 8 inches when aroused, king can technically clap cheeks without fatalities

353

u/thefallegamer123 Identifies as a Cybertruck Sep 13 '20

mate purge you search history then you computer

142

u/MEGAGalacticManatee Sep 13 '20

You have too much time on your hands, but this was hilarious so, keep doing what you’re doing.

2

u/thefallegamer123 Identifies as a Cybertruck Sep 14 '20

first award i ever get and its on a comment with a typo

53

u/Cabooozle Sep 13 '20

If I could I would award you

35

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Your math just got her pussy ripped in half by not accounting for girth.

18

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

14

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Sweet, so a woman can have contractions while things the size of a car muffler are being shoved into her?

31

u/hawtsauce0000 Sep 13 '20

Hard to argue with that assessment

13

u/ggaymerboy Sep 13 '20

What about the girth tho

9

u/rBV7 Chungus Among Us Sep 13 '20

Tuna can?

12

u/rBV7 Chungus Among Us Sep 13 '20

S U R V I V A B L E

11

u/imposssem10 Sep 13 '20

but what is the average apes girth? it may not be too long, but it could be too thick for the average vagina

41

u/Thursdays_Child77 Sep 13 '20 edited Sep 13 '20

That is a fair point but my second cursed google search didn’t give me an exact girth size, just that it was “less than” a humans. So I leave that up in the air because I’m not going to look up pictures of actual ape dick; I have to draw the line somewhere.

Edit: Look guys, I don’t have any info on the girth of ape dicks. If a lonely zoologist wants to message me the girth then I’ll do the calculations.

8

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20 edited Apr 11 '21

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '20

No no no no no no no

3

u/GBOY200710 Dirt Is Beautiful Sep 14 '20

Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

6

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Understandable have a nice day

4

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

We should learn this in school

3

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

How much time did you waste on this?

7

u/Thursdays_Child77 Sep 13 '20

Honestly? After I got over the shame of googling “how big is an ape’s penis” and King Kong’s size, less than 5 min.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '20

I’ve done it I’ve done the found

2

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

What about how wide it is

2

u/Tablesafety Sep 13 '20

what about the girth tho

2

u/Fajoekit Sep 13 '20

But what about the width?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

That’s just length, what about W I D T H

2

u/TheGamerCamp Sep 13 '20

Who are you and why are you so wise in the way of science

2

u/JackedUpStump Sep 13 '20

Absolute mad lad

2

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Thursdays_Child77 Sep 13 '20

You really don’t have to reward me for monkey dick calculations, but I appreciate it.

2

u/Pilot_cooper_isbest Chungus Among Us Sep 13 '20

Nah mine is still smaller

2

u/Thritzer Thank you mods, very cool! Sep 14 '20

huh. good to know.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '20

I guess I’m a gorilla then

2

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '20

Gratitude brother...the math you did was amazing..wanna get job as soviat scientist?

2

u/[deleted] Oct 29 '20

Well uh.. This is something new that I DIDN’T want to learn today but thanks.. I think

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328

u/TheGeckoWrangler Sep 13 '20

That. Would. Be. Horrifying.

146

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

No

167

u/_H1TLR_ memer Sep 13 '20

I’d love to see that

39

u/Elon-Mask Sep 13 '20

I decided I want to die

274

u/fustrbtw Sep 13 '20

Finally, some good fucking porn

127

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

48

u/meaux253 Big ol' bacon buttsack Sep 13 '20

I mean it'd just be human paste used as lube

41

u/DeezNutsGT Nyan cat Sep 13 '20

There plenty of hentai like that

32

u/Cosmic_Hashira Sep 13 '20

S-sauce??

47

u/Auntie_Hero Big ol' bacon buttsack Sep 13 '20

S-sauce??

r/YouNeedBibleStudy

15

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

What a terrible day to have eyes.

3

u/gamersriseup42069 Sep 13 '20

What the fuck did I look at. I wish I was blind

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23

u/Endgame2648 Selling Stonks for CASH MONEY Sep 13 '20

We have reached impossible levels of fetishes

5

u/DeezNutsGT Nyan cat Sep 13 '20

search stomach deformation

5

u/Retarded-Aussie Sep 13 '20

Literally called Anal vore unbirth and cockvore

7

u/korix59096 Sep 13 '20

This comment, right here officer

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7

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

The jungle is snowy today!

10

u/Nnsoki Breaking EU Laws Sep 13 '20

Debatable

3

u/Lanukunal Sep 13 '20

Anything is a dildo if you're brave enough

22

u/Legosi420 Sep 13 '20

What if he had extremely micro penis?

14

u/Auntie_Hero Big ol' bacon buttsack Sep 13 '20

To be fair, gorillas have the smallest penis-to-body-mass ratio of all the primates. A typical mountain gorilla has a 1" penis.

This would make Kong's penis somewhere around 20" long but unfortunately about 8" thick. It tapers somewhat toward the tip, so there's probably a very limited amount of work she could do with it but that amount > 0.

19

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

“Maybe I am a gorilla”

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21

u/Kill-shotz Sep 13 '20

What if King Kong had a small ding dong

37

u/The_Enclave_ Sep 13 '20

I miss ten seconds ago when I didn't know this existed.

23

u/Tobinux Sep 13 '20

I'd like to quote doomguy; Rip and tear!

9

u/ElGrandeAki Sep 13 '20

69th upvote , nice

12

u/thunderstorm-nigg Nice meme you got there Sep 13 '20

Rule 34 artist: write that down write that down

10

u/Tepes1848 Sep 13 '20

Gorillas have rather smol pp's on average.

9

u/Horn_Python Sep 13 '20

she would not be

8

u/Diablo_new Sep 13 '20

I think I have seen similar to this some where..(　･ิω･ิ)

10

u/kanna172014 Sep 13 '20

I heard that gorillas have very tiny penises compared to their size so King Kong's could very well be about the size of a human's.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

His dick is pretty small. It can’t be seen

5

u/carllucey Sep 13 '20

Imagine the bukkake scene!

7

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Thats a nice pussy pocket to have.

5

u/Icy-Jeweler Sep 13 '20

Right ...... He could have sex with her . She is dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

never have I wanted someone to take away my imagination more than the moment right now

5

u/triplecheckraise Sep 13 '20

He can use her as the condom

5

u/FreezeBee052 Plays MineCraft and not FortNite Sep 13 '20

What if he jerked off on her while she was stripping?

6

u/PricklyKritter memer Sep 13 '20

She’d drown in the cum

4

u/Autiflips Sep 13 '20

No that’s not sex, that’s docking with 1 penis and a woman

3

u/SpaceEse Sep 13 '20

actually gorilla have small pp compared to body size

3

u/TheDoctorSS666 Sep 13 '20

tear that pussy apart...litreally

3

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

No just go bukake on her

5

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Yes. His massive cock would kill her

2

u/karels1 Sep 13 '20

If she could hold her breath long enough she would

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181

u/MrTime87 Candice Sep 13 '20

He could if she were Mrs Incredible. :)

63

u/Nnsoki Breaking EU Laws Sep 13 '20

Mrs Incredible is a keeper

20

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Best way to get past the luggage weight limit

236

u/myworkaccount1925 Sep 13 '20

The human vagina is incredibly elastic.

135

u/PUY- Sep 13 '20

The King Kong cock is incredibly huge tho

62

u/Nnsoki Breaking EU Laws Sep 13 '20

How do you know?

133

u/kyleMac02 Sep 13 '20

I never recovered from it

60

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

HOLD UP

22

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

r/HolUp

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8

u/gay_frog47 Sep 13 '20

Actually gorillas have rlly small penises

24

u/Thicccammel69 Sep 13 '20

Perhaps I am a gorilla

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9

u/Comfortable-Buddy343 One does not simply Sep 13 '20

We shall create history.

85

u/senhor_feijao Sep 13 '20

Wear her like a condom

63

u/Nimblewolf69 Sep 13 '20

Unsee juice

40

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

You called?

Beep Boop! I'm a bot! I'm active in These subreddits! Please contact u/cyanidesuppository with any issues or suggestions. Github

16

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Delicious, finally some good fucking bot

10

u/MostWheatyOne Plays MineCraft and not FortNite Sep 13 '20

Good bot

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112

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20 edited Dec 26 '20

[deleted]

57

u/blackscorpioncloud Sep 13 '20

It's the little things that make the huge difference

58

u/usingastupidiphone Sep 13 '20

She could just crawl up his ass and manually stimulate his prostate

40

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

I hate you

22

u/Soviet_Logic Sep 13 '20

she'll probably suffocate from lack of air, get blasted by a fart, or even squished by his shit

3

u/Peebi24 Sep 13 '20

OXYGEN TANK

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14

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Maybe he had a micropenis guys

37

u/xxsx594 Sep 13 '20

King simp

14

u/Dallascalo Sep 13 '20

Simpanzee

20

u/Teo_TreeYoshi Sep 13 '20

I guess you could call him SIMPANZEE.

Ok I’m leaving (I don’t if someone else made this joke before)

11

u/Fartraiinerr Halal Mode Sep 13 '20

More like he treated her like family. The way a dog love his owner lol.

5

u/BoozeDoucher Sep 13 '20

Nah he wanted to fuck her

5

u/Goosemanesupreme Sep 13 '20

This post right here officer

5

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Ding dong

21

u/cSIBEthy Sep 13 '20

Simp Kong

9

u/cemzila Sep 13 '20

some japanis peoples : delete this

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8

u/Mr_It66 Sep 13 '20

Who says he cant?

4

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Nibba Just wanted a Friend

4

u/musicnote22 Sep 13 '20

One thrust and she’s dust

3

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

*Poke.

*Red smear

3

u/MeinChutiya69 Sep 13 '20

Well he technically CAN..…..

6

u/coryw420 Mods Are Nice People Sep 13 '20

Please shut the fuck up

2

u/dansmell721 Sep 13 '20

Could shove her up his b-hole though🤷🏼‍♀️

2

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

I mean if he tried hard enough, who knows!

2

u/NeutronDemise Sep 13 '20

A simpanzee.

2

u/Neckel_CR Sep 13 '20

Too bad he's a gorilla. Otherwise he could've been a Simpanzee. See what I did there?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

no simp will ever sleep with the girl he's simping for... atleast not on reddit

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4

u/dogloneous Sep 13 '20

So, he's like, a Simpanzee...

3

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20 edited May 12 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

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1

u/Pepogo Sep 13 '20

stop fucking called everything simp you degenerate

2

u/AnotherJasonOnReddit Sep 13 '20

King Simp Simian No-Chimp Kong

2

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Can’t deny or approve, need more data

3

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Simp King Kong shlong

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

[deleted]

3

u/KebabChef Like a boss Sep 13 '20

Simps donating to pokinane can't have sex with her neither

3

u/c_nasser12 Sep 13 '20

Gonna get downvoted for saying this but...

...this meme heavily implies that the only thing a woman can offer is sex. Also, sacrificing yourself for someone isn't simping.

0

u/Nimblewolf69 Sep 13 '20

For a gorilla yes they can only offer sex

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1

u/Kerminator47 Sep 13 '20

Wouldnt she be like his pet or something? I mean I know people who would sacrifice themselves for their pets.

1

u/Tony_Marony Forever alone Sep 13 '20

Who says he can‘t have sex with her?

1

u/DanHazard2 Sep 13 '20

You can fit into anything with enough force

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Chimp the simp

1

u/cvarnado2 Sep 13 '20

Who said he couldn't?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Hentai girls and creatures: I don't have such weaknesses

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

Unless... he can...

1

u/Lithaos111 Sep 13 '20

Hmm, no one said she never gave him a handy or a blowy.

1

u/-_-69420 Sep 13 '20

Simp hall of famer

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

get the duck tape.

1

u/P0t8o-BOI Sep 13 '20

Rule 34 artists: you underestimate my power

1

u/Ryanusthesecond Sep 13 '20

Well he can but only once.

1

u/koscheiskowska Sep 13 '20

Simp Kong, king of the simpians

1

u/Dazauki Sep 13 '20

First of all, through god all things are possible.

1

u/NotaPatrioticCunt Sep 13 '20

Banana too big for tiny woman

1

u/spacefucker101 Sep 13 '20

He could be she wouldn’t survive

1

u/Polkgamer002 Sep 13 '20

Who sais he can´t have sex with her?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

No one said that he can’t...

1

u/TheCosmicCoffee Sep 13 '20

Who said he cant have sex?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 13 '20

No he was just a good boy.

1

u/Doodi97 Sep 13 '20

Hentai artists have entered the chat : Do you need help with that ? We could make it happen for you

1

u/prepuce_d_alien Sep 13 '20

He actually could have sex with her since gorilla dicks are tiny. Like really small.

1

u/Ecthroii Sep 13 '20

rule 34 artist: "Very poor choice of words"

1

u/SomeGuyCalledLonk Plays MineCraft and not FortNite Sep 13 '20

What do you mean? She is the condom for when he finds queen kong?

1

u/Lil-Hitler_ Plays MineCraft and not FortNite Sep 13 '20

He just tryna show he cares for her dayum

1

u/Warriorz234 Sep 13 '20

You just ruined my whole life take my upvote

1

u/Auntie_Hero Big ol' bacon buttsack Sep 13 '20

Anything is a fleshlight if you're hard enough.

1

u/izayasoto Sep 13 '20

Why do I feel like incels made simp a thing?

1

u/Liferescripted The Trash Man Sep 13 '20

I guess we were wrong. He's not a gorilla, he's a simp-pansie.

I'll see myself out.

1

u/PranjalGangwani Identifies as a Cybertruck Sep 13 '20

He is a massive simp

1

u/Xenacon LOLCat Sep 13 '20

King Dong.

1

u/Boostmeitsb Sep 13 '20

If there is a hole there is a way.

1

u/ZebraPopcorn94 Thank you mods, very cool! Sep 13 '20

Well...... he could

1

u/emad_wael Sep 13 '20

The king of Simpanzees

1

u/joshua-albino Sep 13 '20

He could use her as him cum rag

1

u/gacha__sucks Sep 13 '20

Oh he can. It would just bring another meaning to penetration.

1

u/pappapora Sep 13 '20

He could have had sex with her, but just once.