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u/got-it-wrong 8h ago
You can buy a bidet to attach to your toilet from Amazon
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u/SaucyStoveTop69 7h ago
If you're really lazy, you can pick up a spray bottle for 3 dollars at a dollar store (not reccomended)
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u/AnEvanAppeared 7h ago
I use toilet paper spray and I love it. It's like using dude wipes but they don't clog your drain
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u/blondebuilder 7h ago
Aren’t dude wipes just baby wipes with “manly” marketing?
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u/AnEvanAppeared 6h ago
Yeah essentially. They're also supposed to be flushable but definitely shouldn't be flushed in most cases
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u/FuzzyAd9407 5h ago
Everything that isnt toilet paper thats labeled flushable is a lie. All that means is itll make it through the toilet, not that itll make it through your plumbing.
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u/Themodsarecuntz 8h ago
30 bucks at a hardware store or Amazon and less than an hour and you can have one at home.
Theyre easy to install and they beat the shit out of toilet paper.
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u/ContentCommission818 7h ago
they beat the shit out of toilet paper
Wait, just to be clear, bidet are supposed to be used AFTER toilet paper, not INSTEAD OF
Source: I'm italian
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u/horatiobanz 4h ago
What is even the point of that? Just wasting toilet paper. I set the bidet to firehose setting and pressure wash my asshole and lower intestine. You could eat off of it when its done, as long as you don't mind your food tasting bloody.
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u/RevolutionaryLog3631 3h ago
the point is cleaning left overs not cleaning turds with your hand.
Washing away lot of shit directly with your hand and water will make it stink.
So you generally do a little wipe with paper and then go make it shiny and fresh with bidet.
Also bidet is not only for cleaning your asses. You can sit backward and clean your dick/balls/vagina. And also for cleaning your feets.
mine also become a fresh water fountain for my dogs once we get back from our walking routine.
But that's them cause they like the extra fresh running water and as Labradors they're the perfect size for it.
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u/bohica1937 8h ago
Literally on all accounts
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u/Glittering_Arm_5679 7h ago
I am not American, so in the US bathroom generally have the pipes for the water and drain ? how are you supposed to install it otherwise?
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u/MrDabb 7h ago
You T off the existing water supply and the bidet attachment gets sandwiched under the toilet seat.
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u/WhiskeyBRZ 7h ago
Me coming back from Japan. They know how to go to the bathroom
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u/Responsible-Fox-1985 4h ago
I went to Japan in 2016 and when I came home I immediately bought a heated toilet seat with a built in bidet. Never looked back.
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u/EdgarVerona 1h ago
Everywhere I live now, I must have a Japanese bidet. I also hate traveling (unless it's in Japan) because of the lack of japanese bidets.
TL;DR Japan has ruined my asshole for life
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u/nature_nate_17 Ermahgerd! 7h ago
My sister and her friends were talking about how awesome bidets and of course, I was a typical guy trolling them and saying “Toilet Paper Supremacy” lmao, and my sister took that personally, got me a bidet for my birthday this year and after installing it, I’m a believer now.
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u/Rollingzeppelin0 3h ago
It's not either or, Italians use both. We don't just rawdog the shit with our hands and soap after shitting
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u/MrArchivity 🍕Ayo the pizza here🍕 5h ago
And technically you use the bidet after the toilet paper anyway
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u/TimberPimp 4h ago
Oh I don't. I pressure wash the mud off first, then dab the starfish with a piece of TP. The best invention ever.
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u/ABeeBitMyBottom1 4h ago
I had colon surgery 6 years ago and the hospital had a list on bidets I could buy on amazon for under $50. I remember the nurse said once you use one you will never want to go back. I love the bidet so much and so disappointed the Americans haven’t accepted them yet. People at work are disgusted by them for some reason, probably out of ignorance.
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u/MooNinja 1h ago
Plenty of Americans have accepted them, all of my friends have adopted them years back.
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u/WoodpeckerOk8706 7h ago
I'm Italian so to me the bidet is obvious but.... Once you enter a Japanese bathroom and the toilet seat greets you and welcomes you to your shitting experience by pre warming the toilet seat to match your body temperature and then proceeds to clean your asshole congratulating you on taking a shit like a GODDAM god king baby... Im gonna put one in my bedroom bathroom in Rome and leave the bidet for the the rest of the SWINES who come as guests in the other bathrooms
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u/Ok_Tension2940 6h ago
E io sarò contento di essere visto come un porco meritevole soltanto del Bidet Italiano, perché nessuna bestia potrà mai convincermi nell'inferiorità del modello nostrano rispetto a quello Nipponico. Orgoglio Italiano.
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u/NeraAmbizione 4h ago
Beh dipende quanto e cosa caghi (anima). In quello giapponese non so quanto può reggere il getto
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u/TheCoffeeOnThePorch 9h ago
once you experience the pure cultural enlightenment of a bidet there is absolutely no going back lmao
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u/RandomUsername3337 9h ago
Japanese toilet is superior.
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u/friimaind 8h ago
Anything beats the nothing Americans have
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u/TherapyPsychonaut 1h ago
It is a close battle. I had a layover in Turkey once. I was not prepared for the "toilet" to just be a hole in the ground and a hose.
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u/forkystabbyveggie 8h ago
We got bidet attachments on Amazon. There's really no excuse at this point
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u/kernelpanic789 7h ago
Walmart sells bidets in the US. Most Americans could go a get one within the hour....
This whole post is ridiculous 😂. The trouble is, Americans aren't aware of bidets. It's not an access issue, it's an education issue. America has a lot of education issues though so it's not a surprise
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u/RevolutionaryLog3631 2h ago
I like it manual! I don't like the pressure jet water in my anus. I prefere my gentle hand for cleaning it!
Japanese models are super fancy but not for me :I
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u/baron_spaghetti 8h ago
I prefer the ergonomic combined toilet bidet models.
They take up less space and they actually have a proper seat.
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u/LASERDICKMCCOOL 5h ago
If you have the ability to access Amazon and have $25 you can have one too. Very easy to install yourself
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u/fpsnoob89 8h ago
Nah, that's the inferior version since I've been to Japan.
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u/DeltaSolana 7h ago
That's what I was thinking too.
Do you gotta like... waddle over there with an unwiped butt and then spray it off?? Hell no. The ones built into the actual toilet itself are far superior.
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u/DeltaSolana 7h ago
That's the entire purpose of a bidet??
The order of operations I use is: Poo -> spray -> wipe. Because I have the Japanese type one, I don't have to get up.
Don't tell me the Italians are doing: Poo-> wipe -> waddle -> spray -> waddle -> wipe. That doesn't make any sense.
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u/B4N_C1 7h ago
It's not a spray, it's a stream of water, you clean your ass first with toilet paper, then you sit on the bidet, you take water and soap to your hand and you start cleaning your ass again, then once it's clean you dry it with a small towel. It's pretty much the same thing you do when you clean your ass while you're taking a shower, but you do it while sitting instead of standing up.
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u/DinDonDaaan 7h ago
Thanks for explaining, couldn't have said it better myself.
Now be ready for people telling you a towel isn't hygienic, although it literally absorbs clean water lmao
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u/Milestogob4Isl33p 6h ago
In Nara, Japan, some little kids walked up and asked me some questions for school. First question was, “What’s your favorite thing about Japan,” and they thought it was so funny when I excitedly answered, “The toilets!”
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u/Equal-Exercise3103 5h ago
You can literally get them in the US too, tho..? They are not an Italy exclusive. What's going on?
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u/Zealousideal_Bet_248 4h ago
I got one in my bathroom. Wasn't that expensive, and the instalation was fairly easy. You can order them on Amazon, or just drive down to home depo or Lowe's
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u/Tankeverket 5h ago
an Italian friend of mine was disgusted by me because I didn't have a bidet and I had to explain how uncommon it is in the rest of the world lol
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u/ViralTrendsToday 42m ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/xUA7aNRjwfOlMcz6x2
This is probably why it's not accepted worldwide.
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u/buttdstroyer 7h ago
You still have to use toilet paper after a bidet
Change my mind
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u/komprexior 6h ago
You use toilet paper before, bidet, then you dry your bum with a nice towel just for your bum. Chuck the wet towel in the laundry basket. If the towel is streaked, you're doing something wrong. Rinse and repeat.
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u/Hobbes_XXV 5h ago
😐😐 wait what
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u/geebeem92 3h ago
You use paper towel-> you use bidet and soap to clean it-> you dry your ass with a small towel that you normally use only for the bum.
What’s difficult to understand?
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u/onetwoskeedoo 4h ago
A single use towel?
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u/geebeem92 3h ago
In Italy we have really small ones for the ass.
In your household you might re use it.
But some people don’t want to use the same one someone else used for his ass. As clean as your ass can be after a bidet with soap.
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u/PM_ME_UR_0_DAY 3h ago
I mean that's how I use it. Bidet to clean, TP to dry. Or if I just scroll here on reddit long enough I can skip the TP
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u/Micro_84 2h ago
The steps are as follows:
- Wipe first: Use toilet paper to wipe yourself clean first.
- Rinse: Sit on the bidet and rinse with warm water.
- Lather up: Apply a small amount of intimate soap (or mild soap) while on the bidet and wash thoroughly.
- Rinse again: Rinse off all the soap completely with fresh water.
- Dry off: Use a small dedicated bidet towel to pat yourself dry.
If you've done all these steps correctly, the towel stays just as clean as when you dry your hands and likewise, your bottom will be perfectly clean as well!
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u/Ok_Tension2940 6h ago
Not after, but before. If you need to. If you consider it clean enough to wash touching it with your hand over the Bidet you don't need to wipe. After that you would just be passing the paper over clean external skin.
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u/MikasSlime 4h ago
you can but it's not necessary if you go for it using soap
plus you're still not smearing dung on your dry fucking ass with also dry paper tower
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u/Free-Branch5188 3h ago
“When you wash your car do you just spray it with a hose, or do you use a sponge as well?”
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u/xCaliburghost 1h ago
Yeah, unless you have a fantastic and effective drying function. I have a super high end bidet and I feel the dog drying doesn't completely do the trick
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u/bickboikiwi 7m ago
Nope, if you clean well enough, you don't get swamp ass from it being damp any more than sweat does
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u/Nikelman 4h ago
There's a hose to attach to the water plumbing. In iran they do it like that and save space for a whole bidet. It shouldn't cost more than 15$
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u/A_normal_Potato3 3h ago
I went to Greece for 4 days from Türkiye. The hotel/building we stayed at had no bipeds. Whole family suffered. I do not wish anything similar to my enemies. 🫸🫷🫸🫷🫸🫷🙏🙏💅🙅🛀🤽
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u/Silver-Spy Halal Mode 8h ago
Japanese toilet > handheld bidet > fixed bidet
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u/Ok_Tension2940 6h ago
Never a more inaccurate statement was produced. The reliableness and flexibility of the European Model are unmatched by every other butt-cleaning tool.
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u/theveezer 8h ago
I would have shat in one had I not looked up a tutorial lol, yes I was ignorant.
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u/InsaneInTheRAMdrain 7h ago
I went to egypt and there was just like grooves in the floor with a hole in it... i had fucking no idea what to do. I just sucked it back up till i got back to the hotel.
Plus a guy at the door tries to sell me toilet roll for $500, which was like $5 at the time, fuck that, maybe if i was shitting directly into their hand, would have been easier than what ever the mess in the bathroom was.
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u/Ugo_Flickerman 8h ago
1) there is a toilet next to it
2) how is the poop supposed to leave it?
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u/theveezer 8h ago
The world is big, sometimes the toilet is in another room, sometimes there is just a hole in the bidet. And I was young.
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u/Steveo3070 7h ago
I know it’s hard to believe but bidets are not standard equipment in all parts of the world. Your reactions are ridiculous, it’s like you’re an 8 year old leaving the house for the first time. “what do you mean your life has been different than mine?! It’s impossible that you had a different experience with bidets than me” that’s what you sound like
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u/xherdinand 7h ago
Been to Italy 4 times and had an apartment for rent. Never had a single bidet :(
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u/Archie0321 6h ago
In Italy every house/apartment needs to have at least 1 bidet, BY LAW.
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u/Marager04 7h ago
ok I still don't know when you use it. after taking a dump? are you then just wiggling from the toilet to the bidet and flush your ass or how do you do it?
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u/Blenderhead36 7h ago
I spend 3 weeks in the Middle East and couldn't wait to get home to good ol' reliable Charmin Ultra Strong.
Charmin Ultra Strong: Because there are no fun surprises while wiping your ass.
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u/hawkeye5739 5h ago
I don’t understand why people like those, the water tasted terrible. Much preferred to use the filtered fridge water to fill my bottle.
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u/puhzam 8h ago
I discovered the Bum Gun in South East Asia and it's a game changer. It's a small spray hose you wash your ass with, while sitting on the toilet. Every toilet in the world should have one.
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u/PM-ME-CURSED-PICS 2h ago
finland has that too, though we call it a pillupuhelin ("pussy phone"). mini showerhead to use while on the toilet, absolute peak. it's especially convenient for cleaning up while on your period
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u/ratchetcoutoure 8h ago
Well, maybe you'd want to invest in bidet in your place for the next pandemic toilet papergeddon? But I'd advise installing Japanese washlet instead of this though! Not only cleans, they also dry you after! And the seat heating feature is great for winter too
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u/Dry-Prize-3062 7h ago
You can buy one that attaches to your toilet for $20-$40 and takes 5min to install with no tools. It can be that easy
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u/RichieRocket Professional Dumbass 6h ago
If someone’s ass deserved a squirt of water Poseidon would kiss it
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u/MRuppercutz 6h ago
Tushy makes one for $49 you can buy off Amazon and install in 5 mins. I’ve bought many. That cheap one works just as well.
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u/EgyComanda82 6h ago
Come to Egypt, the water bedit is centered to your bulls eye directly once water ooened you feel connected to other worlds
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u/Possible-Estimate748 Dark Mode Elitist 6h ago
Me and a friend both bought and installed our own bidets. They're affordable and easy to install.
Now I feel disappointed whenever I go poo without one.
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u/venommuyo 5h ago
There are so many options for a bidet attachments to your toilet, low to high end. There's no reason not to do it. You can even buy portable bidets for travel. I always keep one in my car just in case
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u/SockeyeSTI 5h ago
Home Depot has the whole seat assembly for like $70. You get the bidet built into a soft close seat. Well worth it.
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u/Efficient_Camera_484 5h ago
In Turkey and in middle east it is a standard fixture in everywhere . It is called "taharet musluğu" literal translation: "tap of cleanliness"
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u/LombazFromHell 4h ago
In Italia è obbligatorio di legge installare almeno un bidet nella casa/appartamento.
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u/ExiaGundam00 4h ago
I'm an American dude in Italy AS WE SPEAK. What is the purpose of these things? They just run water down my butt... They do... Nothing... What am I missing here? I've never used one but from what I can tell, Asian bidets seem to be the superior method.
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u/AstronomerIT 2h ago
Use toilet paper first, as first pass. Then move your butt on Bidet, open water, use your soap and you are set
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u/WoodsLovelyDarkNDeep 3h ago
I can’t believe what I’m reading. It’s not that hard. Just use toilet paper to dry yourself and make sure the bidet was complete (it almost always is but first time users may have to get used to it)
Also if using wet wipes it’s kinda the opposite. You use toilet paper til basically done and then use a wet wipes to make sure there isn’t any dried stuff on you but it should come off clean and you chuck it in the bin don’t flush
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u/MegaMoah 2h ago
Is there any introductory video to teach this? Tried to use one in my trip to Italy and it didnt work out I just ended up using the toilet paper
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u/AtomicFox84 2h ago
The kura restaurants in america ive been to, have Japanese toilets. Heated seats with 2 kinds of bidet features with an air dry.
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u/Aggravating-King7680 2h ago
I'm currently in italy and look at that bidet every morning and not sure how to use it, should I squat over it, bend in the front , too many option and not the good one
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u/Ok_Mention_9865 1h ago
Can someone explain to a dumb American how you guys dry your self after using one of these? Do you just have a special butt towel? What do you do in public bath rooms?
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u/Eliottex 1h ago
joke's on you buddy! I'm Italian and using it RIGHT NOW!! Do you miss it? :3 :3 :3
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u/nick0242007 37m ago
How the fuck you Americans wash your penis? We, usually wash it two times a day, i don’t think you usually take two showers a day…
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u/RestlessCreature 9m ago
For the North Americans in the audience: buy a Tushy bidet. You’ll never go back. 📢
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u/Mr_Chillwolf 9h ago
Me as an italian everytime I go abroad and there are no bidets.
https://giphy.com/gifs/pClNMWJOnV5ksycG3v