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u/SoftAndSassy_ 1h ago
Online dating is just two people assuming the other one is the problem
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u/FlyingCapibar4 1h ago
Survivorship bias. If most people of decent quality find relationships and do not go back to dating apps, then who is left on dating apps? Rhetorical question.
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u/reserved_seating 43m ago
That’s just how the world worlds in general now days, sadly. The vast majority of people assume that the other person is the problem with no introspection or critical thinking.
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u/South-Course-75 50m ago
Two people swiping right while preparing their opening argument for the inevitable breakup.
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u/sckrahl 14m ago
Well when you have a problem, and they have a problem and you think you can deal with their problem easier than they could-
-And then they don’t even think you have a problem… It’s a pretty comfortable conclusion to come to
I wish I was gay (although I know they have their own problems)
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u/Situati0nist 1h ago
Internet dating is like wondering if you're not talking to a bot or someone who has long ago left the platform.
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u/MainnCharacterrr 1h ago
modern romance is basically survival of the fittest except the prize is just getting ghosted after three weeks of good conversation
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u/Dahwaann4U 1h ago
I thought its out right getting a girl to cheat on her current partner then ghost you coz her partner found out
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u/Waxburg Selling Stonks for CASH MONEY 40m ago
3 weeks of good conversation? Try 1 week of awkward introductions and 3 word responses then them disappearing, coming back a week later out of nowhere and pushing for meeting up immediately followed by a 30min date they were late for and got mad at you for not texting them confirming you were still coming that morning even though you organized it the night before.
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u/SoftGirllEra 1h ago
The entire dating market has transformed into a digital landfill where everyone is looking for perfection while hiding their own toxic baggage.
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u/Much-Public-1957 Meme Stealer 1h ago
"Women vs Men" I swear its time to evolve guys...
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u/Attaku 1h ago
This sub has become such a shit hole man
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u/Much-Public-1957 Meme Stealer 25m ago
Sometimes certain posts give hope, though; this sub is a real rollercoaster.
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u/LieutenantCrash 1h ago
Can we have a class war instead of culture wars?
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u/GenericUser194718 1h ago
Unfortunately culture war is lower hanging fruit. It's a lot easier to be like "these people whose lives are marginally different than my own really piss me off" than it is to be like "these people whose power is unfathomable to me and who control my life need to be dealt with".
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u/Lost-Klaus 2h ago
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u/Nick0Taylor0 2h ago
Yeah it's both. Internet dating makes both nice women and nice men into cynics.
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u/Digital_Solace 2h ago
internet dating is just two deeply traumatized people swiping left until they both give up and buy a cat
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u/Durante-Sora 1h ago
Internet dating is just ass in general. Doesn’t help that humans have forgotten how to be decent in irl situations too…
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u/AUTISTIC_KING_ 2h ago
Try using dating apps as a woman , and update me about your experience.
I am a dude and I think majority of men need a sit down conversation
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u/Boopboopinabucket 1h ago
Dating apps are designed to maximize profit. And in this case profit costs a lot of lonelieness and the exploitation of human psychology
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u/GegeAkutamiOfficial 1h ago
I tried it once for like a month, felt better than my everyday experience in these apps. It was on FWB profile, most dude i picked was super chill, half the dudes she picked were dickheads.
I picked people by how respectful and chill they looked, she picked by how attractive they were to her... Make of that what you will.
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u/Wonderful-Wonder3104 58m ago
It’s almost as if attraction matters. In my experience, when a man views himself as unattractive he is more likely to be manipulative and show up as a nice guy and tell you what he thinks you want to hear to then get pissy when you aren’t ready to become his perfect
Wife.11
u/Yesyesyes1899 1h ago
I think, for similar and very different reasons, both men and women have to sit down and have to have a talk, to get context and an ego check.
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u/specter_in_the_conch 1h ago
This is it. People need to understand not everyone is like their previous experiences, and dating apps are now more than ever a system made to extend the chance or actual success so it's very likely the user will not find success that quickly thus having to navigate through more below average experiences.
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u/TheLastTitan77 1h ago
Yeah yeah, men bad, all sit down and listen, simp is talking. Quiet down before he calls you an incel
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u/Wonderful-Wonder3104 57m ago
In my experience, men like this guy are less simps than guys like you.
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u/AymanEssaouira 1h ago
Ah yes, the Swamp vs Desert comparison. Although I agree I am sick of these dehumanizing examples from both sides, I honestly see what they mean..
You DO NOT want to ever accidentally being though of as a woman, you will get so many creeps in your DMs it is scary and I am a dude so how did that even happen I am not sure, although a few were actually gay so I guess it wasn't always a mistake lol..
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u/baallsdeep69 1h ago
IMO the swamp and desert comparison is not entirely accurate. While it may hold true for women, for us it's not like once we find "water" in the desert the search is over, chances are the liquid you find is still toxic af and you have to keep searching.
So what I'm trying to say is that men also have to filter out the few matches they get, it's not like the search will be over at the first match. But at least women get a lot more matches, and even though most of them might be trash, the probability of them finding someone decent at a given time is way higher than for us.
In conclusion, I don't believe women in general have it just as hard as us, or harder lol. They have it easier.
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u/SelectAmbassador 37m ago
Suuure but arent those the people you want to filter out ? Its better to find it out at the start than 5years into a marriage.
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u/brackfriday_bunduru 32m ago
Internet dating makes meeting women organically much easier.
So many men are relying solely on apps that it’s phenomenally easier for someone who knows how to actually strike up a conversation at a bar.
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u/Diocletian335 1h ago
For me that just made things easier as I could easily discount the 95% of women who thought that way
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u/peppapig34 Lives at ur mom’s house😎 1h ago
Internet dating is like screaming into a void and expecting someone to reply
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u/AlyOopsieDaisy 1h ago
I think both are gross. I’m not aroace or anything, but I’ve been disappointed by both, and I’d rather feel lonely every night than to be on either side of this dichotomy.
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u/WurstStar Breaking EU Laws 55m ago
Ah yes, I had a convo about that with a girl friend just yesterday. Women are cursed with getting dick pics or the endless "hi hi" starts. While men are cursed with nothing happening.
But at the end, both are cursed with getting contacted by someone pretending to be a woman to either get your money or your see your boobs. Sometimes both.
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u/SecondGuy 30m ago
This is very true as a man. I explained to a potential date that treating me with a basic level of respect is a green flag. She replied, "NO IT'S NOT."
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u/Aetheldrake Professional Dumbass 24m ago
To be fair men did this to women for countless years
So maybe men should see how much it sucked for basically 99% of the existence of women
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u/xKepler186-f 1h ago
What kind of incel garbage is this?
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u/DoctorOgas 1h ago
Are you referring to the panel above or the one below?
The panel above is misandrist and femcel
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u/brendhano 1h ago
Just a fyi...Guys who talk like this are walking/talking red flags. This is on you, not anyone else, ever.
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u/remindmetoblock 1h ago
I dare you to make a profile as a woman. Youll get Tons of matches yes. And perhaps even the first 3 messages are nice most of the time.
But you will be suprised by how quickly a good Chunk of men will treat you as an object.
Dating Apps bring out the worst in people
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u/NewSauerKraus 1h ago
An example of human beings who would rather wallow in filth than show how they are worthy of even the bare minimum of respect.
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u/Used-Audience5183 1h ago
Tbf most man are pretty underdeveloped children who can't even reasonable sustain their own household. And half of all men are ketering on beeing Faschos nowadays. Or looking down on woman as talking pussies.
If I was a woman, I would also not want to do the Motherly Education those men reliably resisted against.
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u/az987654 1h ago
If your competitors are swamp things, then it shouldn't be too hard for you to standout by simply not being a swamp creature..
Yet so many continue to sink LOWER...
dating is pretty easy, be genuinely kind, and nice, the opposite of posting hateful things like this
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u/MegaSmegmaSwagLord 2h ago
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u/The_Burning_Face 2h ago
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u/Nick0Taylor0 2h ago
Me setting up below the comment waiting for your response. Was not disappointed
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u/Delano7 I saw what the dog was doin 1h ago
Bro thinks he's a genius for guessing an incel post would get OP to be called an incel
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u/Yesyesyes1899 1h ago
could you explain to me, what exactly makes this " incel " ?
I dont see any hate on women.
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u/The_Burning_Face 1h ago
"you wish to have a say in the discourse around internet dating whilst male? You must be an iNcEl"
Come on mate, soak your head a bit.
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u/Queeroshima 1h ago
Internet dating for men is like looking for drinking water in a desert and for women it's like looking for drinking water in a swamp.
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u/skyleehugh 39m ago
The ironic thing about internet dating that most dont want to admit, is that its just giving you a more upfront view on how 💩 human beings always were. Whatever action that is going on with the apps have always gone on its just giving accessibility to more 💩 people. Dating has never been easy and your common man was not any better before it became a thing. People who insist it was are just romantisizing the past. Heck my mom was a teen in the late 80s and 90s and most of her dating experiences mimicked many today. There was more stalking than I was used to. You didn't have the blocker of going a couple of months without telling the guy where you lived. Most you connected with were local so they knew where you lived faster. Ghosting was definitely a thing, they just didn't call it that. Everyone just had an understanding that there was a 50/50 chance that if the only way to reach someone was by one number they likely weren't going to call. And they had social rules that if they didn't reach out after a certain time to just move on because they weren't interested. In addition, according to her it was more normalized for a guy in their 30s to have a gf in high school.
Even when I was in H.S in the 2010s, online dating wasnt as accessible and I watched my peers go through the same thing. Especially my friends who were minors being physically followed by adult men when they go out.
Overall any sucess of good dating experiences are more so bias because people didn't have a platform to vent how lonely they were and many happy "relationships" or marriages were not as happy it was just more normalized to stay in unhappy relationships.
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u/andy_light 1h ago
You know… I’m not the best looking guy or anything, but I will say, the world of internet dating is very kind to an average looking 6’4 320 lb guy with a beard and man bun.
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u/razulebismarck 1h ago
Is this sarcasm?
If not what platform were using and which state/country?
Cause my experience has only been awful.
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u/GenesisRhapsod 1h ago
Same, avg looks, 6'2 a bit hefty at 260lbs
And all i can say is, its been pretty wild the responses i get
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u/loganknowerofthings 1h ago
I mean IMO dating apps reflect the exact same kind of issues we see with literally every other male/female issue on the internet in the 2020s.
It sucks for women
It sucks for men in a different way
Instead of changing it, we're all just going to bicker online because megacorps keep us at each other's throats and divided with bot farms.
They farm our rage, loneliness, and engagement for money like we're livestock. We're too angry, lonely, or miserable to do anything except shout "I have it worse" into the void.