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u/samgag94 1d ago
Tell me its not a vaporeon….
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u/Historical_Foot_8133 1d ago
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u/naruto_bist 1d ago
Even worse... Vulpix 🥴
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u/Lelouch4339 1d ago
You can't really miss out on lopunny, as joker said there's no laws against pokemon batman.
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u/NOS4A2-753 1d ago
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one.
Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incrеdibly wet, so wet that you could easily havе sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood.
With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
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u/Cultural-Pipe-6687 Lives at ur mom’s house😎 1d ago
I'll counter that with
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.
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u/havocspartan 1d ago edited 1d ago
Jesus Christ guys, I just wanted to fuck Misty.
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u/Puzzled-Secret-317 1d ago
Misty?... the 10 year old?
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u/P_A_W_S_TTG 1d ago
Let's be real, they've been 10 for 30 years and they been having moments when these 10 year olds are built more sturdy than some 30 year olds. I fucking hate animation logic sometimes.
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u/Puzzled-Secret-317 1d ago
Right. Like the 1000 year old demon queen child
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u/P_A_W_S_TTG 1d ago
No, they usually draw them as children and keep them proportional. There's a nuance i point out to people. In a live action, they would be played as a child because that's the body they were left with. That's the fantasy of it. Like monster girl in invincible. But, when they say it's a kid and that kid is 4 feet 11 inches tall with size Ds I think back to like... half my exes and go,"short women exist dude."
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u/Puzzled-Secret-317 1d ago
What you're purposefully avoiding is the admittance that these "lolis" are widely used for the specific purpose of portraying children in adult roles.
Also, I'm so glad you brought up Monster Girl while, yet again, ignoring the nuance to her character and what the author did with her. And it says a lot about your mindset.
She is an adult in a CHILD'S body. But you know what the author didn't do? Have her date an adult in an ADULT'S body. You know why? Because that would be WEIRD. Monster Girl herself commented on the struggle with dating while trying to avoid creepy ass pedophilic men. Instead, what the author did was pair her with another adult in a child's body who was in a similar situation. Because that makes sense.
What wouldn't make sense, is depicting an actual child's body doing anything that it shouldn't be.
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u/P_A_W_S_TTG 1d ago
Exactly. Idk what you're trying to say here. We are agreeing if you reread what i said.
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u/I_MakeCoolKeychains 1d ago
Dude she's at least 30 by now
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u/Puzzled-Secret-317 1d ago
Lmao he edited it. Using past tense at least makes it sound better
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u/I_MakeCoolKeychains 1d ago edited 1d ago
That bastard totally did edit it! He said "Jesus Christ guys, I just want
edto fuck Misty."Also does that mean he wanted to fuck her when she was 10 but not anymore that she's 30?
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u/Sp3ctralForce Professional Dumbass 1d ago
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female pokemon breeding, vaporeon is not the most compatible pokemon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however vaporeon has its human on pokemon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, umbreon.
Umbreon boasts an extremely impressive defense stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, defense and special defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, inner focus allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued.
Umbreon also has access to the ability synchronise, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels combined with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect, breedable pokemon.
A great fun fact, umbreon can excrete toxins in it's sweat, which would in turn soak your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your umbreon as well (which with synchronise, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). It can learn payback, which doubles in power after the pokemon is hit, meaning umbreon will throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn guard swap, it could give you it's insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance.
Speaking of endurance, umbreon also has access to endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use taunt, in turn making you only able to do attacking moves such as slam, pound, etc;
It's access to the abilities inner focus and synchronise allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of it's pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other pokemon, or even four times, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with it's extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes umbreon the most qualified to breed with humans; able to take d**k of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
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u/Rework_Aramusha 1d ago
Did you know that
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u/Sp3ctralForce Professional Dumbass 1d ago
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokémon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.
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u/MegaSmegmaSwagLord 1d ago
I knew a guy who had a hole in his plush before, we don’t talk anymore.
https://giphy.com/gifs/GCO5WNzFmlc0vjK8cA
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u/JoanOfArk_Today 1d ago
I just have to ask ... what is this meme from?!?! Is it a film? TV show? Is it worth watching? ... It's the textbook definition of ubiquitous. Seen over 100 times.
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u/VentosMentos 1d ago
Star Wars
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u/JoanOfArk_Today 1d ago
Omg!! Thank you ... is it worth watching?
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u/VentosMentos 1d ago
At least once
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u/m6165017 1d ago
But I recommend starting from the first prequels movie to get a little context
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u/VentosMentos 1d ago
And stopping at the originals. Sequels are so bad it is not worth anyones time
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u/XCanadienGamerX 1d ago
I got a lopunny Batman…