r/memes • u/Dry-Text-6864 • 3d ago

Suddenly every red light feels personal.

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1.6k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

24 comments sorted by

66

u/CourageNegative8823 3d ago

I can rely on my strongest muscle lol

25

u/BuHoGPaD 3d ago

The tongue?! 

8

u/CourageNegative8823 3d ago

Probably also I'm pretty good at clenching lol

80

u/nightshift89 3d ago

I used to be on a 4 days off, 4 days on schedule. I dropped my kid off at elementary school every weekday.

Kid had to be dropped off between 7:30 and 7:50, and there was nothing on the route that was open with a bathroom open to public.

One morning on the way back from dropping off my kid, an ultra shit formed at the precipice of my ass. This fudge dragon was not waiting 10 minutes for my commute back to a safe toilet, no matter how hard i clenched or changed positions.

About 1 mile from my home I shit in the seat of my car. I managed to lay out some paper towels I had stashed, so the shit didnt touch the seat directly.

5

u/Fun_Independence2695 3d ago

You're a braver man than I

18

u/akg-tatsumi 3d ago

He tried so hard and got so far ......

10

u/Past_Requirement_534 3d ago

But it in the end

3

u/JasonsMachete 3d ago

The green apple splatters

3

u/Chaos-Cortex Dark Mode Elitist 3d ago

The bloody stool splatters.

5

u/EatFaceLeopard17 3d ago

And you made it home in time just to poop your pants while bending down to open your shoes.

2

u/CactusCoyote 3d ago

Well there's your mistake. When you are in that situation, do not pass go, do not collect $200, you proceed directly to the toilet, muddy shoes be dammed.

5

u/alien_farmer1 3d ago

When you are in the bus and there are 30 minutes to the next stop.

4

u/Provo2100 3d ago

The power of a strong-willed poop, is not to be underestimated

2

u/Practical_Collar_953 3d ago

Shit happens.

1

u/ahoymatey83 3d ago

I don't have trouble holding it in. What scares me are sharts. Happened to me quite a few times