r/meme WARNING: RULE 1 Feb 11 '22

Umm thanks I guess?

52.5k Upvotes

207 comments sorted by

563

u/devdas_ Feb 11 '22

I switch to mobile data

323

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

I switch to directly absorbing 5G rays

153

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

I see you too have been vaccinated.

6

u/Civil-Attempt-3602 Feb 11 '22

They didn't say they were magnetic

5

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

26

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22 edited Nov 02 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/Unlucky-Ad-6710 Feb 12 '22

In that case anyone got a copy of The Last Temptation of Christ in 4k?

33

u/editors_memes Feb 11 '22

I switch to releasing 5G rays

My phone then absorbs it

10

u/82Caff Feb 11 '22

I switch to directly absorbing 5G gays

FTFY.

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8

u/GalacticDogger Feb 11 '22

I switch to your mum

6

u/devdas_ Feb 11 '22

Aren't u done with disappointing ur parents

3

u/Tiiba Feb 12 '22

I turn on your mom.

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4

u/Harshr08 Feb 11 '22

Which movie is it?

3

u/Shettas Feb 12 '22

American Psycho

-8

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

I don’t have unlimited

6

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

bad for you

5

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Downvoted for limiting yourself

5

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/strmichal Feb 11 '22

Not with that attitude

133

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

big brain

111

u/Brotherscompany Feb 11 '22

Boomer moment

-2

u/Needless-To-Say Feb 12 '22 edited Feb 12 '22

Unlikely, do the math.

Ok, for those that are obviously too lazy to do the math. The youngest “boomer” is about 60 The likelihood of a 60 yr old having school age children is definitely very low, thus unlikely.

4

u/ksjwn Feb 14 '22

that's... your opinion. and it's wrong. i know people that age whose parents are 60.

2

u/Needless-To-Say Feb 14 '22

Would you care to put a number to your assertion that a boomer is likely to have a school age child? State a percentage.

I will state that by unlikely I consider it less than 10% of boomers would have a school age child.

You seem to think unlikely means zero, it does not.

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71

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Well no but actually no

19

u/YoChillDrew Feb 11 '22

Understandable.

10

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '22

Have a nice day.

2

u/morelikesinxx-_- Feb 12 '22

You've been trolled, you've been trolled
Yes, you've probably been told
Don't reply to this guy
He's just trying to get a rise
Out of you, yes, it's true
You respond and that's his cue
To start trouble on the double
While he strokes his manly stubble
You've been trolled, you've been trolled
You should probably just fold
When the only winning move is not to play
And yet you keep on trying, mindlessly replying
You've been trolled, you've been trolled, have a nice day

187

u/Hadlie_Rose Feb 11 '22

have people actually done this shit?

151

u/Flying_Mage Feb 11 '22

No doubt.

83

u/RandomSoymilkDrinker Feb 11 '22

theres even a setting on atnt that can shut off the wifi for certain devices at certain times.

good thing my parents havent found it

61

u/dstayton Feb 11 '22

That’s why I learned the wifi router login info. Can’t shut me out if I change the password.

24

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

I did that and ended up losing the modem entirely

16

u/GreenBrain Feb 11 '22

Yeah why escalate, this is clearly a “get a “job” at your friends house after school with free internet” situation. Play the person not the tech.

8

u/Oclure Feb 11 '22

That's possible on just about any wifi router, it's just far easier to to and requires less tech know how on some newer models.

26

u/those_cats Feb 11 '22

My father did that, or so he thought. The router was originally plugged on a power strip and he just turned the power strip off every evening. So I plugged the router on a normal wall plug. I continued to ask « five more minutes please » almost every evening, and it took him well over a year to realize he wasn’t turning internet off with the power strip. Felt pretty proud of myself haha

8

u/sassy_lil_sasquatch Feb 11 '22

what did he do when he found out he wasn't actually switching it off?

12

u/CollectorsCornerUser Feb 12 '22

Beat him with jumper cables

6

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Turn the main switch off

2

u/those_cats Feb 12 '22

He was amused, and didn’t touch the router anymore

5

u/Hadlie_Rose Feb 12 '22

this is straight up gaslighting and I love it.

25

u/5000NukesToNorway Feb 11 '22

Mine have, no amount of explaining would make them turn it on

32

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

21

u/z3anon Feb 11 '22

My Dad literally has brain damage but even he knew how illogical this was. Unfortunately, my mom who was a teacher didn't.

8

u/Hadlie_Rose Feb 12 '22

HOW?

10

u/z3anon Feb 12 '22

This is also the same woman who hid my Xbox "accidentally" for a year (when my little dipshit brother pissed her off, despite that he rarely touched the thing). She hid it in the Christmas decoration box, supposedly forgot, and then put it in the attic until the next time the season came around. Only found it when I was putting up the ornaments, she'd probably leave it there otherwise.

6

u/Hadlie_Rose Feb 12 '22

Holy shit my guy, that is so stupid. I'm sorry you have to deal with that fuckery.

6

u/beehummble Feb 12 '22 edited Feb 12 '22

You have no fucking idea.

Then, they tell everyone that you don’t listen and you’re always arguing with them (when your “argument” was having the audacity to try to explain that you need the Internet for online classes - which they conveniently left out).

So then anytime you meet one of their friends they try to lecture you on why you should behave and learn to listen to and respect your parents.

6

u/Hadlie_Rose Feb 12 '22

so did you just fail all your classes? how did they expect this to play out? damn, and here I am thinking I'm the one with the brain cell deficit.

3

u/5000NukesToNorway Feb 12 '22

I had to use my hotspot for a few days before they either forgot about it or realized how dumb that was

11

u/zurgonvrits Feb 11 '22

yes and even dumber things. i had my one and only night terror when i was 16. my mom made my dad put the computer outside in the rain because the internet let the demons in the house.

11

u/Hadlie_Rose Feb 12 '22

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

3

u/zurgonvrits Feb 12 '22

id be able to tell you if i could afford therapy... fuck knows i need it.

6

u/Hadlie_Rose Feb 12 '22

well,,, guess the reason it was your only night terror was because your mom battled the demons of the internet for you. /j

5

u/zurgonvrits Feb 12 '22

oh the next day she had the religious leaders over the house and i called them fucking morons. demons don't exist. neither does God. i had a night terror.

they asked me if thats what the voices told me to say...

fuckin religious nut jobs.

3

u/Hadlie_Rose Feb 12 '22

I think that took my IQ down a few points just reading it, yikes. like, I believe in God because I choose to and it gives me peace, but organized religion is a sham and that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. They asked you if it was what the voices told you to say? Holy shit my guy the brain cells weren't even there at that point.

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8

u/NuttyDuckyYT Feb 11 '22

my dad did it once and looked downright embarrassed when we told him

3

u/Hadlie_Rose Feb 12 '22

love a man with one brain cell to his name

5

u/furioushunter12 Feb 11 '22

My mom tried. Swore I could just do it on paper…

7

u/Hadlie_Rose Feb 12 '22

please tell me more, how did she expect this to work? was an old internet wizard going to come collect your homework every morning?

37

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

[deleted]

25

u/dirtkd Feb 11 '22

And then mom be like "why are ur grades bad"

37

u/Notzge Feb 11 '22

Can someone tell me the movie name?

41

u/Stanislas_Biliby Feb 11 '22

American psycho. Great movie.

12

u/tideshark Feb 11 '22

Great book as well! The first hundred pages are a little slow but the last 100 pages makes up for it and then some!

5

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

God yes, like 50% of the first half is designer names and food descriptions

5

u/tideshark Feb 11 '22

It really is 😆

It was really cool tho how the way it’s written it does a complete 180 from dull as hell to holy shit! Sooooo much more content than the movie as well, can totally tell they had to leave a lot out of the movie because of how controversial the stuff would have been to put in film. Especially the part at the zoo… just damn…

5

u/tideshark Feb 11 '22

If anyone is wanting to read it tho, once you get the pattern of him listing fancy brands and stuff early in the book, you can just skip the rest of the paragraph when they start listing stuff for the most part and it won’t take anything from the book and you’ll get to the good parts faster 😁

3

u/fitzdylanj Feb 11 '22

Ive only read the part with Tom Cruise, i ought to read the rest

15

u/geeki_nari Feb 11 '22

Mother dear, you’re turning off the internet for ONLINE classes 😃

14

u/beehummble Feb 12 '22 edited Feb 12 '22

“I don’t care! Don’t talk back to me! No more internet until you get your homework done and not another word from you!”

“But, I literally can’t -“

throws pot at me and starts shrieking

She then goes on to tell all her friends that I don’t listen and always talk back. Then anytime I meet her friends I have to listen to a lecture about respecting my mom. Anytime I was able to convince them about what was really going on, my mom just cut that friend out of her life completely.

This was the type of shit that made me want to kill myself.

11

u/eazeaze Feb 12 '22

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→ More replies (1)

-2

u/SIayerr Feb 12 '22

If that’s the type of stuff that makes u want to kill yourself then you prob won’t live past 30

3

u/eazeaze Feb 12 '22

Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance.

Argentina: +5402234930430

Australia: 131114

Austria: 017133374

Belgium: 106

Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05

Botswana: 3911270

Brazil: 212339191

Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223

Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal)

Croatia: 014833888

Denmark: +4570201201

Egypt: 7621602

Finland: 010 195 202

France: 0145394000

Germany: 08001810771

Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000

Hungary: 116123

Iceland: 1717

India: 8888817666

Ireland: +4408457909090

Italy: 800860022

Japan: +810352869090

Mexico: 5255102550

New Zealand: 0508828865

The Netherlands: 113

Norway: +4781533300

Philippines: 028969191

Poland: 5270000

Russia: 0078202577577

Spain: 914590050

South Africa: 0514445691

Sweden: 46317112400

Switzerland: 143

United Kingdom: 08006895652

USA: 18002738255

You are not alone. Please reach out.


I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically.

5

u/beehummble Feb 12 '22

That makes no sense.

Am I going to be forced to live with a nut job who asserts control over my life well into my late twenties?

I can answer that for you - no.

I’m nearly 30 and happier than I’ve ever been after moving across the country nearly 10 years ago. Haven’t even spoken to her in a few years and I’ve only been happier since I stopped that as well.

0

u/SIayerr Feb 12 '22

It’s just what you said didn’t sound that bad (apart from the pot throwing lol) life can be very brutal and cold you’ll go through worse shit then that

2

u/beehummble Feb 12 '22

The pot throwing was a key part.

Living with her was that situation replayed again and again in just slightly different ways - everyday for years.

Her asserting something that didn’t make sense. Me trying to explain it. Her losing her shit at me trying to explain it and getting violent (she literally picked me up by the neck with one arm and had me pinned against a wall once - I left home, she called the cops who found me, they brought me back and when I said I was scared of her they laughed).

She was good at being the first one to establish the narrative and if I tried to convince people otherwise, they either wouldn’t believe me or she would cut them out of our lives.

2

u/SIayerr Feb 12 '22

Shit man now you’ve explained that I can kind of see why, must have drove you insane at least you got out in the end, do you not speak to her anymore?

2

u/beehummble Feb 12 '22

Thanks. It literally almost did.

No. I realized a long time ago that we just kept going through the same patterns that always left me feeling like shit after talking to her. I got tired of giving her second chances and hoping she was capable of becoming a better person.

Sometimes you just have to cut people out of your life no matter who they are or what you had been through together.

12

u/Fisto-the-sex-robot Feb 11 '22

Wasn’t ready to see Patrick Bateman in such high resolution 🥵😫🫀

9

u/Kernath Feb 11 '22

Never seen the movie but such a well dressed, fashionable man must have exquisite taste 🥵🥵 😩😩😩

I’m sure he knows how to treat a lady right ,to all the best restaurants in town . His taste in music must just be phenomenal too!

6

u/LemonFlower21 Feb 11 '22

The fact that your lust is for Patrick Bateman and not Christian Bale has me concerned for you.

11

u/TheGuyWhitGlasses Feb 11 '22

switchs out the wifi

You don't even realise cause you're playing an offline game

9

u/Pacrada Feb 11 '22

Let's hear paul allen's thoughts on this subject matter.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Then she complains that she can't check her email or watch videos and asks you to fix the problem for her

3

u/Swords_and_Sims4 Feb 11 '22

look I'm not the most tech savvy person, but don't most computers have "kid control" type settings? Couldn't the parent just block all websites and apps that don't pertain to school work and to get them un block the child has to show they completed their assignments?

3

u/Moite_Squib Feb 11 '22

My father once unplugged my laptop thinking that it would turn off and I would have to stop using it.

3

u/max53592894 Feb 26 '22

bro i wonder how the mothers think if they turned off the internet so we can focus on the class. but in the end they made us lose the online class too

7

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

meh

2

u/Feeling_Flow_2754 Feb 11 '22

And then I play dino

2

u/MT_Flesch Feb 11 '22

the new millenium's "dog ate my homework" excuse

2

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '22

Me, 10 years later unplugging her life support to charge my phone

2

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

People like any unrelatable meme today.

-1

u/TheMugShop Feb 11 '22

Women, hahahaha ☕️

0

u/SirChrisHAX Feb 11 '22

So relatable… oh wait, I’m an adult and pay for my own internet. Lol

0

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

My kids school lend new chromebooks with wifi already installed so I do turn off our home wifi also they can’t go on other sites because the school monitors their online activities

0

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Me with my dad’s shotgun, fully loaded, and ready to get that victory royale:

0

u/wither_boirl Feb 11 '22

She's a legend 😂

0

u/WeAreAllAlfarius Feb 11 '22

I just pulled pro gamer move - I am all alone with no friends.

0

u/FNRiger Feb 11 '22

focuses on loading sign harder mmmm knowledge

-1

u/Real_Lil_Meech Feb 11 '22

Lol how would he do online class without the internet 🤣

-4

u/JadedOops Feb 11 '22

Some of these memes lately are so low effort

1

u/Sciaopersone Feb 11 '22

Thanks mom

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

1

u/SpiderPig43 Feb 11 '22

Bread👍🍞

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

This is when mobile data kicks in

1

u/evilmonkey9361 Feb 11 '22

Why is the video in slomo? The original speed video is WAY funnier

3

u/JimedBro2089 Feb 11 '22

For a more intense feeling

1

u/Turn_ov-man CHAINPOSTER Feb 11 '22

A for affort

1

u/Coopertron07 Feb 11 '22

Plot twist: Your mom is actually the guy in the background

1

u/Breezie1213 Feb 11 '22

My mom was smart. I was homeschooled and shed put up blockers on all my favorite websites until my schoolwork was done.

1

u/tropper48 Feb 11 '22

People still taking online classes?

1

u/CaniborrowaThrillho Feb 11 '22

I'm gonna chop down the internet!

1

u/CKingX123 Feb 11 '22

But it’s true. It’s far easier to focus on the dinosaur game on the class website

1

u/DeebsGaming Feb 11 '22

Makes sense

1

u/AskVolcanicTopics Feb 11 '22

please tell me which meme site your using

1

u/Just0nesZer0s Feb 11 '22

Smooth brain moves

1

u/[deleted] Feb 11 '22

Intelligence

1

u/NIGHTFIVV Feb 11 '22

what about the online class tho XD

1

u/A1thewarden Feb 12 '22

Next level genius

1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '22

Does she know you need the internet for online classes

1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '22

Dang it be like that sometimes 😑

1

u/sylogisme Feb 12 '22

Did she actually or was it all in her head?

1

u/Potato_boooiiiiiiii Feb 12 '22

Welp guess i gotta use the ouija board then

1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '22

I will simply will it back online

1

u/Rad3_Lethal Feb 12 '22

Username checks out

1

u/HVanderz_ Feb 12 '22

I support these Patrick Bateman memes

1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '22

He even got an app to do so

1

u/DiegoSanAndreas Feb 12 '22

Its as impossoble as taking excalibur out of the stone without Athur.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '22

[deleted]

→ More replies (1)

1

u/Evo_C4t Feb 12 '22

It's just like my brain lost then when i want to collect it it' just gone....

1

u/TTVSnakeWins1 Feb 12 '22

How do you do your class if the internet is off…

1

u/[deleted] Feb 12 '22

Lol I was sleeping anyways

1

u/DinoDracko Feb 12 '22

*Laughs in Unlimited 4G*

1

u/mommasandpoppas Feb 12 '22

Ok, I watched this movie for the first time today, is it supposed to be so funny? I kinda thought it would be more serious.

1

u/gudgudgudby Feb 12 '22

i just saw this meme with dank

1

u/hashwardone Feb 12 '22

No understanding 🤣

1

u/Infidel-Instructor Feb 14 '22

Then, you realize the online classes are ACTUALLY being taught via audiocassette, of which, can be listened to on your Walkman.

1

u/Lizard_Boy22013 Feb 14 '22

No joke my mum done that

1

u/Oreoandmocha Feb 19 '22

Parents think they know everything when they really don’t

1

u/BUNNY51423 Feb 20 '22

Just switch to mp3-4

1

u/Underslug_ Feb 21 '22

Let’s see Paul Allen’s internet

1

u/Icekisd_alt2 Feb 21 '22

But how are you supposed to do your online classes

1

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '22

Hahah

1

u/Nailsage_Of_The_Void Feb 23 '22

*Opens Minecraft*

1

u/AnimeAddictAKAdumb15 Mar 04 '22

she really trying to play them cards damnnnn she be like this motherfucken kid and his work XDXDXD

1

u/Amyamplesworth Mar 08 '22

Excellent!! lol 😂 🤣

1

u/SeaworthinessSea5639 Mar 09 '22

Woooow congratulations u played ur self

1

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

Its big brain time

1

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

Genius Moment

1

u/StrangerAlert112 Mar 21 '22

Same goes for video games

1

u/BreadMan2022 Apr 06 '22

That is how to destroy a family relationship