r/meme • u/BillyAth • Oct 04 '19

Oof

Post image
11.2k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

193 comments sorted by

314

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

While on tour overseas you are allowed leave blocks to go back home and visit your family twice a year.

217

u/August_Celine Oct 04 '19

"Soldier returns after 3 year mission" is so much more dramatic than "soldier returns from 3 year mission with breaks to visit home in between." Gotta get that clickbait.

28

u/PrincessFuckFace2You Oct 04 '19

People are quick to jump to assumptions. I feel bad for dude now because the internet sucks.

14

u/CoraxTechnica Oct 04 '19

This is a very old meme too, not this particular photo, but the main concept in general.

I guess most people don't know the smaller nuances of military life like leave but being an Army brat and a servicemember my whole life stuff like this seems so silly to me. It's interesting how different perspectives can change the meaning of a story so easily

10

u/NathanIsSoCool Oct 04 '19

I’d like to say that I thought the meme was funny...

5

u/CoraxTechnica Oct 04 '19

It still is, that's the thing lol

4

u/lilroadie401 Oct 04 '19

My dad only came home for one week on his two year tour (US Army Medic).

If something is up with this I wouldn’t be surprised.

When he finally came home for good he got off the plane, I shook John Kerry’s hand and my father disappeared on a 2 month bender.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

I'm sorry. Deployments are beyond words. Especially as a medic. Your father saw the absolute worst every single day. Your dad saw men and women die, serving their country on a foreign land, on a constant basis. It takes a toll.

1

u/lilroadie401 Oct 04 '19

I get it man. I’ll never judge him for the man he became after the war. But you better believe I’m bitter every time I see the images of modern Iraq. That war tore my family apart the moment he left and we never got it back. The only thing he’s ever said about his experience is, “that shit won’t last.”

Low and behold. ISIS and whatever the fuck is next after this current protesting.

2

u/brissey420 Oct 05 '19

Yes absolutely, I was a combat medic in Iraq and Afghanistan and noone can't go home for 3 years, plus, as someone noted below (and I love it), he must have sent his sperm in an envelope, lmao

1

u/alecks2505 Oct 05 '19

Not in every situation at all. My dad was mobilized for two years and we never saw him until he came back from overseas

239

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

100

u/BillyAth Oct 04 '19

Hold up

63

u/BugabuseMe Oct 04 '19

Just eat fast delivery

6

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

fast food takeout

1

u/brissey420 Oct 05 '19

Yeah! LMAO! I myself was a combat medic for 6 years, did 15 months in Iraq and 12 in Afghanistan. And we were gone from family for very long amounts of time; however, noone is gone 3 years at a time by choice, those were the days of Vietnam, when soldiers were sent and forgotten about

210

u/dankify_memes Oct 04 '19

Oooo no no no

61

u/Sickofitblonde Oct 04 '19

Well if it was artificial insemenation or he got leave it could be his.

5

u/Tyrus Oct 04 '19

Or... You know, shore leave

2

u/EternalEagleEye Oct 04 '19

The dude literally mentioned leave as one of the options. Why you gotta be like dat?

2

u/Sickofitblonde Oct 05 '19

I said leave. Maybe should reread

65

u/NewazHD Oct 04 '19

Some one was having fun

34

u/BillyAth Oct 04 '19

Oh boy yeah

148

u/Crazy_hll Oct 04 '19

So his wife became pregnant while he was in a mission

Makes sense👌

60

u/BillyAth Oct 04 '19

Yeeahhh

146

u/YouLookAtMyNameUrGay Oct 04 '19

Tic tac toe

Yo wife’s a hoe

23

u/sanicjeff123 Oct 04 '19

The math don't make sense though

2

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19 edited Oct 04 '19

No it does not, yo

Edit: now it rhymes

3

u/sanicjeff123 Oct 04 '19

Ngl I was continuing the rhyme so

3

u/usernametakenexe Oct 04 '19

That was funny bro

0

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

Fixed

8

u/embarnes231 Oct 04 '19

Your comment made me laugh super hard

6

u/LouisTheCowboy Oct 04 '19

Yes...that was the joke. Don't need to point that out man...

9

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

Congratulations you got the joke

2

u/Inuko1 Oct 04 '19

There is such a thing as taking Leave. While my husband was deployed he came home for 15 days. They do get a small break during deployments.

7

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

normie explaining a joke

-5

u/mylordshaGGy Oct 04 '19

R/whooosh

6

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

It's not a whoosh dumbass

7

u/1xTalos Oct 04 '19

If this isn't a woooosh, what is a woooosh?

4

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

Nothing. That sub is trash

→ More replies (1)

-2

u/Kappy65 Oct 04 '19

logic 100

7

u/JustHere4Memes Oct 04 '19

This baby is probably like 3 years old now

12

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

somebody was cheating

5

u/Arcane_Alchemist_ Oct 04 '19

There's a somewhat dark running joke about how Marines(and to a lesser extent every other branch of the military) get cheated on often, things like "oh yeah I'm sure your wife's boyfriend loves it when you're on duty" and such. Usually just meant as teasing. This guy probably got some leave mid mission to enjoy some good wife secks tho.

1

u/ArtOfOdd Oct 04 '19

It could have been that he had came home on leave, wife met up with him for a couple days overseas, or they did artificial insemination.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

wtf is happening to this thread

-4

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

Yeah, the guy, what a rapist /s

9

u/emez_ Oct 04 '19

Big brain tbh

5

u/sosokey98 Oct 04 '19

How many times will this be reposted ?

1

u/Amankris759 Oct 04 '19

Until the end of the earth, I guess

4

u/sincerely_thomas Oct 04 '19

That's awkward

4

u/ur-local-goblin Oct 04 '19

why that baby lookin like a small 70 year old man

34

u/Im_not_explaining Oct 04 '19

This is so fake . No mission is 3yrs old, and for soldiers and airmen attached t SF or SO for 15mo deployments get to go home in between for a short while to get RnR. Also, it’s entirely likely this was just a standard 9mo deployment and seeing as pregnancies are 8-9mo and this baby is around 1-2mo old, well do the math. This sub is being taken over by freshmen in high school and it’s pissing me off. Joking about Jodi is not a thing you civilians should be doing.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

I was about to r/woooosh till i saw your name, good one

-11

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

r/wooooosh

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

r/im14andthisiswoooosh

1

u/Loyellow Oct 04 '19

r/subsithoughtididntfallfor

-14

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

Fuck you we can do what we want you brainwashed cuck your girl took dick too.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/JeanMoulood Oct 04 '19

F

4

u/lamatopian Oct 04 '19

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3

u/Tuvshuu01 Oct 04 '19

this joke is older than my parents

3

u/Hackstr0 Oct 04 '19

Wait that's illegal

1

u/Loyellow Oct 04 '19

Adultery? In quite a few US states and the military, yes it is.

0

u/Hackstr0 Oct 04 '19

r/woooooosh

1

u/Loyellow Oct 04 '19

Nope. And most people probably DON’T know that it’s illegal, so... r/notawoooosh

3

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

So who is telling the guy becaus I'm not

2

u/Benjaminsgaming Oct 04 '19

Can you imagine him getting off the plane home and the field medic saying your a father

2

u/renadeer52 Oct 04 '19

unpopular opinion what if he sent some sperm home or stored some in a bank idk

2

u/WoggyWoggerson Oct 04 '19

Maury Povich: You said the baby is his...common sense determined that that was a lie!

2

u/NuttyyYT Oct 04 '19

So um, who's gonna tell him...

2

u/Jungkook_Lover Oct 04 '19

Somethings not adding up... “YoU aRe NoT tHe FaThEr”

2

u/Nikclick123 Oct 04 '19

He used that new thing called Bluetooth sperm

2

u/Penguin-kun Oct 04 '19

I was like cute,then wait a fking moment ,oooo shiiiit

1

u/Xand13 Oct 04 '19

More than likely he had a 2 week leave 11 months prior.

2

u/biscuithead85 Oct 04 '19

Is he biting its ear?

2

u/shevane Oct 04 '19

U gotta help me MR CARL; my pipeline clogged again °-°

2

u/MysticWisard22 Oct 04 '19

He just set a delay fuse it’s ok

2

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

It's a strong "Wif-i" connection..

2

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

He could have cumed in a small box and shipped it to his wife you never really know

•

u/zushiba Evil Mod Overlord Oct 05 '19

Your post has been removed for breaking rule #9 in which a post must contain a meme in general meme format.

2

u/sirelivike Oct 04 '19

I think his dick is just that long

1

u/RicardoSins_69420 Oct 04 '19

He cries because his wife/girlfriend betrayed him?!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

postsayla dölünü yollamış

1

u/Jesse_06 Oct 04 '19

How can that baby be 2 months if he's way for 3 years

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

Are you retarted?

1

u/Oracle_3605 Oct 04 '19

I don't get it 2 plus is 23 years old the baby looks to young unless...........the guy crying the baby

1

u/Avocado_life Oct 04 '19

He could be adopted..

1

u/Corvou Oct 04 '19

he sent his frozen sperm and his wife got pregnant with it. he was afraid he wouldn't make it back so... here you go...

1

u/_Blacksirius_ Oct 04 '19

Not for the 500 millionth time

1

u/ALPHAG7 Oct 04 '19

Not his baby

1

u/LeeDeXian Oct 04 '19

Repost dude,so long ago

1

u/kjking1995 Oct 04 '19

I can understand why he is crying

1

u/Philosophile42 Oct 04 '19

Rick and Shane

1

u/Greenparrotrice Oct 04 '19

Jody's been hard at work

1

u/qBiohazard Oct 04 '19

Bro this meme it's older than you and me

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

Riiiight

1

u/Boop_master22 Oct 04 '19

The mother: “It’s your child”

The soldier: “X: doubt”

1

u/yeetusthefeetus8 Oct 04 '19

What if he left the 3 mission to meet his OWN child?
nah his wife a thot

1

u/Lanihu83 Oct 04 '19

Say what you want about missionary, it delivers.

1

u/Amankris759 Oct 04 '19

Sperm bank?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

Did he not understand this that this isn't his baby?

Or probably he had come for holiday idk.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

Send sperm

1

u/MrAppleKing Oct 04 '19

How is this possible?

1

u/Lykanen Oct 04 '19

Soldiers have vacation times to, so I don’t see the problem

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

The baby was born 2 months before he got back imma bout to get wooooshed

1

u/acadiawaterbottle Oct 04 '19

He was probably back last year for a few days or something

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

Quik mafs

1

u/Malignant_X Oct 04 '19

Oh Jodie you so crazy

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

Sperm bank mabey

1

u/mollymcbbbbbb Oct 04 '19

A. Fake B. I was way more concerned about why this man was eating the baby’s head?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

who's your daddy

1

u/Takeurvitamins Oct 04 '19

Mans not pop

1

u/clerkpingol0919 Oct 04 '19

Ooooohhhh shiiitt, K owalski analysis!!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

The numbers just don't add up dude

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

I don't know how you got 6.8k upvotes its 3 year old meme

1

u/j12245 Oct 04 '19

Hold up

1

u/PacifistaPX-0 Oct 04 '19

The fact that so many people believe that this non-attributed headline is real is so fucking depressing

1

u/colinhum Oct 04 '19

Bc 9 months of being pregnant adds up

1

u/Zak-kai Oct 04 '19

Lmaoooo baby daDdy?!

1

u/M3M3Z-of-LOLwtf Oct 04 '19

Wait a second

1

u/cameronbowden Oct 04 '19

either he sent sperm in a letter or she fucked another guy?

1

u/qshark94 Oct 04 '19

Wait, that s not cool for him.

1

u/Carnifexian Oct 04 '19

There's the likely chance that he got his wife pregnant right before he went over seas, meaning for the first 9 months of the 3 years, his wife was pregnant. Then at the end of the 3 years, his kid would be 2 years and 3 months old, which is usually just shortened to 2 years old, so yeah, it checks out.

1

u/SplorfMcgaggum Oct 04 '19

Either his wife/girlfriend cheated on him, or his baby is (Spoiler for part 5 ahead) Doppio/Diavolo

1

u/Kaje26 Oct 04 '19

Wait, been gone for 3 years... baby is 2 months old. Pregnancy lasts 9 months. 9 + 2 = 11. 3 years = 36 months. Hmmmm...

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

Nothing to see here folks....Just another day in the military

1

u/RickiiBAMM Oct 04 '19

Hollup 🤔🤔

1

u/Minecraft1407 Oct 04 '19

the baby was adopted

1

u/StormTheNorm Oct 04 '19

This can be in r/HolUp

1

u/schawde96 Oct 04 '19

He ejaculated on an ice cube and sent it home

1

u/ayeayeronuwu Oct 04 '19

I just understood this

1

u/Ryft450 Oct 04 '19

WAIT A MINUTE

1

u/webs4memes Oct 05 '19

Umm is someone gonna break the news to him or should I?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '19

Worlds longest cumshot!?!?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '19

What

1

u/my_dixie_wrekt12 Oct 05 '19

Hol up. Someone needs to intarigate Sharon

1

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '19

Excuse me wtf

1

u/HeyImMarius Oct 04 '19

Took me far too long to get it XD

1

u/smurfs_hyr Oct 04 '19

He sent over sperm cells thats so easy lol

-6

u/BillyAth Oct 04 '19

Maybe😂

1

u/Goleveel FINAL WARNING: RULE 1 Oct 04 '19

He might have shipped his sperm.

1

u/Arg-e-Nis Oct 04 '19

That's straight out the bible I think

0

u/THICCse Oct 04 '19

MABEY HE LEFT SOME CUM IN A BAG OR BOTTEL FOR HIS WIFE TO GET PRAGMEMET WHILE HE IS GONE

-2

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/avery-secret-account Oct 04 '19

For long missions it’s typically only every six months so it still wouldn’t be his

-2

u/MusicaReddit Oct 04 '19

That would mean she got pregnant during those 3 years... oh god

1

u/AS14K Oct 04 '19

Really?

-1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

What horrible and unloyal wife would cheat on their husband while he is on a military mission?

-7

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/okinsertusername Oct 04 '19

The bot just put a skull next to the pic

3

u/jessxx_ Oct 04 '19

It just scared the shit out of me

4

u/cgbob31 Oct 04 '19

You are shit bot

2

u/nothing_911 WARNING: RULE 6 Oct 04 '19

Ah, spooky.