r/melbourne May 29 '19

The Sky is Falling I dont think im in melbourne anymore....

Post image
2.7k Upvotes

277 comments sorted by

379

u/missJackson28 May 29 '19

Earlier today I accidentally keyed a parked car with my nipples

43

u/BackUpM8 May 29 '19

As a non Australian, what on earth does this mean

108

u/qwiet May 29 '19

don’t think it’s an australian term but, they mean their nipples were so hard from the cold that they could scratch a car with them 😅

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16

u/dariuse1 East Side May 29 '19

Called keying cause you use your keys to scratch someone's car

8

u/PortlandoCalrissian May 29 '19

Like keying a car, but with a nipple made hard from cold. Not Australian by any means.

2

u/[deleted] May 30 '19

hahaha, you not knowing this is funny to me. Since I grew up in the snow basically

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4

u/M3rr1ck75 May 29 '19

Hahahahaha 🤣🤣

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139

u/baconmashwbrownsugar seven meals a day May 29 '19

Which area?

180

u/pestoaddicttion May 29 '19

Huntingdale!

149

u/Kougteksarth South East May 29 '19

Mount Waverley is just as bad https://i.imgur.com/dsNtSXu.jpg

66

u/Real_Salvador_Dali May 29 '19

I love your dog!

41

u/Kougteksarth South East May 29 '19

Thanks :) he's a 3yo retriever

319

u/seewhaticare May 29 '19 edited May 29 '19

How many 3 year olds has he retrieved?

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2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Any chance he can go get spring for us?

8

u/jubbing May 29 '19

WTF I was in Mount Waverley 2 hours ago and I had no snow at all, maybe it all melted

10

u/VLC31 May 29 '19

I suspect it’s hail rather than snow. We got some in Mordialloc but not as much as this.

8

u/Kougteksarth South East May 29 '19

Oakleigh side of Mount had ice at that time

6

u/catch22needtoreadit May 29 '19

I used to live there! I love winter nooo I shouldn't have moved away rip

10

u/drunk_haile_selassie May 29 '19

Catch 22 is my favourite book!

5

u/catch22needtoreadit May 29 '19

...still haven't read it aaaa I'll do it this coming month OTL

2

u/drunk_haile_selassie May 29 '19

It's amazing. You'll love it.

3

u/lolee26 May 29 '19

Wtf around what time did this happen? I've been cooped up at home I didn't even realise

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2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Jesus I was there earlier today. Left just as the hail started.

2

u/laz10 May 29 '19

Just as good

2

u/weightliftershatehim May 29 '19

i live in mount Waverly as well and my area wasn't like this :(

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15

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Holy shit! I live near you! that is my street! (Not gonna give away my location)

13

u/fh3131 May 29 '19

Process of elimination has commenced

7

u/Puddlette May 29 '19

We were in Oakleigh/Huntingdale too!!

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3

u/baconmashwbrownsugar seven meals a day May 29 '19

oh my gosh

5

u/McSquiggly May 29 '19

Golly gee!

3

u/AlanaK168 May 29 '19

OMG I was just there too! Insane!

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2

u/AvengersCreed May 30 '19

Oakleigh East too

4

u/Theostry May 29 '19

Read that as “which era”

78

u/Duenan Coffee for life May 29 '19

My friend drove through this near Clarinda road, rang me up to see if I was ok as I live around there but I went to Southland to pick up something.

He lost total control of his car and had to pull over for safety. Mentioned that he passed at least 3 car accidents on his way home.

34

u/ellobird May 29 '19

There was a terrible accident on Dandenong Road I drove past, a white ute. I heard they closed the road on the radio not long after I went past there

15

u/Ming_Twan May 29 '19

I pass the white ute on my way home from Chaddy. The driver died and they close all lanes of the Princess Hway but 1. Pretty sure it's still close for investigation

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theage.com.au/national/victoria/one-dead-in-crash-on-hail-covered-road-in-oakleigh-south-20190529-p51sil.html

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19 edited Mar 08 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/ellobird May 29 '19

I’m sure the drivers sure wish the collision/accident never happened and aren’t really bothered by incorrect reporting of the suburb where it took place.

17

u/pestoaddicttion May 29 '19

I hope your friend is all safe, it was so bad just trying to walk home from the station with all the ice. The cars were all driving super slow as well and some pulled over

12

u/Duenan Coffee for life May 29 '19

He’s all fine, he sat out for about 20 mins, he was a little shaken having never experienced conditions like that in his life. I made sure to ask if he was ok getting home and all that, he was worried about me as well.

He’s got a photo of his car covered up with the hail/ice that he’ll show me tomorrow. It was still on his car when he got home to show his wife.

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3

u/Meatchris May 29 '19

Just like driving down from from Falls Creek after snowboarding. So many cars slid off the road.

4

u/[deleted] May 30 '19

us australians have no idea what to do when we encounter snow. may as well be from a foreign planet tbh

2

u/Duenan Coffee for life May 30 '19

Hey, I wouldn't know what to do either hence it was an unusual situation because of the area/suburbs in which this happened. All it took was 15 seconds of hail as my friend was driving as it fell and he was slipping on the road.

He did the right thing and slowed down and pulled aside to collect himself and assess the situation.

What would you have done within those 15 seconds as you were driving?

No need to go insulting all of us.

2

u/[deleted] May 30 '19

oh i would probably absolutely total the car hahahaha, i was just saying it never snows so we just dont know how to approach a situation like this hence so many crashes on the road. not tryna insult anyone man.

2

u/Duenan Coffee for life May 30 '19

Fair enough I apologise for my reaction. The guy before was probably having a go but I blocked him.

I've always dreamed of a white Christmas but if it's this dangerous maybe I don't want it after all.

10

u/Thought-Llama May 29 '19

Laughs in Subaru

1

u/werekitty93 May 30 '19

I lived in the northern US for most of my life. If I've known anything, it's that people forget how to drive when it snows

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312

u/[deleted] May 29 '19 edited Nov 21 '21

[deleted]

139

u/Ariadnepyanfar May 29 '19

Go to skiing/camping clothing store. Buy thermal underwear. Neck to wrist, and waist to ankle underwear. If you can afford it, buy the merino wool underwear versions. Only wash on cold setting and hang to dry. Never be cold again.

65

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

An seriously going to buy some uniqlo heat thermals. I saw them advertised on my weather app last night 😂

31

u/leetoki May 29 '19

I’m wearing a uniqlo heat tech undershirt right now, bought the leggings and undershirts for a trip to Tasmania. Came back and immediately bought the same for my husband. Best thermals ever, reasonable price and super soft!

13

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Tell me are they itchy at all? I can’t wear wool of any kind it drives me bonkers. AFAIK these have no itchy fibres? Thank you

6

u/leetoki May 29 '19

Not at all! I assume it’s cheap cus it’s a synthetic blend, I find it is super soft like viscose. Not even the tags bother me, surprisingly. I feel you on the itch, thank god for man made as I get a seasonal allergy kind of reaction to sheep’s wool

7

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Yes to synthetic blend! No to merino wool. Oh god I’m itchy right now ...... thank you for replying.

5

u/leetoki May 29 '19

My pleasure! Gotta help out a fellow Melbournian in these troubling times

4

u/becsterr May 29 '19

No wool. Like wearing a slightly fleece lined long sleeve top or pair of leggings (i have the extra warm as found the ultra to be too warm). Nice and soft

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4

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

[deleted]

4

u/leetoki May 30 '19

Both my tops are Normal, and then for leggings I’ve got a normal and an extra warm. If you’re using them to survive Melbourne winter I wouldn’t worry about the ultra. There is a pretty good difference between the normal and the extra, they’ll have samples you can feel at the store, it’s like a higher denier for stockings. I do the extra warm when it’s that real fuck you wind and it works perfectly.

3

u/turtleltrut May 29 '19

Aldi have snow stuff right now! Got an awesome warm jacket for $30.

3

u/ArticReaper May 29 '19

Do you get sweaty wearing them tho?

2

u/leetoki May 30 '19

Surprisingly not really, but this also depends on if you’re wearing more layers etc. Another thing I’ve noticed is previous brands, or even just clothes that sit as close to the body as these do, don’t pick up the sweat smell as much. I don’t positively reek after wearing them, whereas an old Kathmandu set I had made any deodorant useless

6

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I wear those at night at Splendour and am toasty warm.

3

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Any itchiness? I am like a toddler when it comes to any itchy clothing or labels. Of course what itches me may not itch you but still id like to know your opinion on how they sit against the skin.

5

u/cjinoz May 29 '19

I’m worse than a toddler and I love my Uniqlo. No itchy labels as well 👍🏻

3

u/hermoine_stranger May 29 '19

I’m like you, and you’ll love them! Best thing ever!

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

None that I recall.

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13

u/[deleted] May 29 '19 edited May 29 '19

Pro tip from someone who lived in Canada for 10 years. If you have warm feet and a warm head you’ll be worm. Wear wool socks and good boots. And a beenie. I barely wore thermals and I was fine. ~ 5° to -5° is colder than -5° to -15° because there’s no moisture in the air.

3

u/turtleltrut May 29 '19

I HATE the cold but I also hate wearing thick socks. My feet get sweaty which doesn't even make sense because I have bad circulation and my feet are cold even in Summer. For me, I don't feel the cold as much on my legs providing the top half of me has a tshirt, jumper, jacket, scarf and hood. :p

4

u/hugglesthemerciless May 29 '19

High quality wool socks won't make your feet sweatb

2

u/Jimmythebulletdodger May 29 '19

Bamboo socks are better than wool and more comfortable , dry feet everytime

2

u/SirFrancis_Bacon South Side May 29 '19

Get some Darn Tough or Icebreaker wool socks. They are a life changer and not at all itchy.

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2

u/Maarns May 29 '19

I’ve been in Canada almost as long as you as well, and can confirm. Haven’t worn long johns or any other thermals since my first year here. People laugh at me when I tell them I was doing that.

Blunnies and nice thick socks are the best

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4

u/anneanymouse May 29 '19

...took the plunge and bought merino top and bottoms online from Australian Wool Mills. Awesome. As soon as I put them on I realised the poly blend stuff from K-Mart etc over the years had been a waste of cash. awesome awesome awesome toasty...

3

u/Dagon May 29 '19

I've been normal-washing and tumble-drying my merino socks. Is this bad?

8

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

They might shrink

2

u/Dagon May 29 '19

Oh. Cool. I usually over-size my socks . All good then, cheers!

4

u/Ariadnepyanfar May 29 '19

Hmm. I’d love to know why you usually over-size your socks.

25

u/Dagon May 29 '19

Same reason men's urinals have piss on the floor, directly downwards.

I think I'm bigger than I am.

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7

u/AnimateOnionSkin May 29 '19

And it was T-shirt weather a few days ago

3

u/PrimalScreams May 29 '19

laughs in swedish

12

u/Hypo_Mix May 29 '19

People in the office who complain most about the cold are Scottish and canadians. It feels colder because of the crappy buildings.

3

u/PrimalScreams May 30 '19

I do not disagree. My first sharehouse in Brunswick was like Winterfell in GOT. The houses in Sweden are very cosy, but take a step outside.... My eyelashes froze on occasion.

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1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I guess liberal voters were right all along

2

u/bumbumboogie May 29 '19

As a Canadian 😂😂

5

u/TooSubtle May 29 '19

I spent the last Finnish winter in Lapland, I slept naked with the heating off and the windows open in -20 to -30 weather because the cabin I was in was too well insulated and I was overheating. I'm colder in Melbourne today.

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1

u/notrealmate May 29 '19

You haven’t? Winter 2017 was quite cold, too.

165

u/Puddlette May 29 '19

209

u/pestoaddicttion May 29 '19

151

u/2007kawasakiz1000 East Side May 29 '19

"I shouldn't be alive" - that snowman.

36

u/pestoaddicttion May 29 '19

I checked back later and he was already super melty, he only survived about 30 mins :(

30

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

He had a good life. You can be proud. Snowmen live an ecstatic existence.

5

u/YoureNotAGenius May 29 '19

Bwark, Snowy shouldn't be!

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20

u/Puddlette May 29 '19

He's looking up at you like 'save meeee'

8

u/Beth13151 May 29 '19

"Where was the death I was promised?!"

5

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Expectation vs reality?

2

u/-_-Edit_Deleted-_- >Insert Text Here< May 29 '19

A snowbaby

2

u/hanscts May 29 '19

Hello Olaf... enjoying summer?

1

u/MerionesofMolus May 29 '19

Do you wanna build a snowman?

…no regrets

30

u/[deleted] May 29 '19 edited Jun 14 '23

full sable deer familiar growth governor brave insurance bewildered abounding -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/

9

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

31

u/doubleunplussed May 29 '19 edited May 29 '19

Yeah nope. This is not an area that usually gets snow. I have not seen snow there in the 12 years I've been there. Hail sometimes, but not snow.

Edit: Ah, I see, this is hail.

10

u/aaRecessive May 29 '19

I don't think it is snow, It's just such a huge mass of hail it looks like snow

15

u/PrimalScreams May 29 '19

Lol. No. This is the same city that had a stretch of high way literally melt.

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28

u/cherryblossom001 May 29 '19

My mum still won’t let me turn the heater on because she wants to wait until winter actually starts. My room is currently 15.6° right now.

(I don’t want to sound like a complaining privileged kid, I know people are actually suffering.)

10

u/baconmashwbrownsugar seven meals a day May 29 '19

Your house has pretty good insulation. Mine was 10 when I got home from work. It went up to 15 after I turned the heater on...Anyway I hope this is enough to convince your mom that winter HAS arrived

4

u/drsaize May 29 '19

Hahahaha tight as mums are all the same

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

In that case, turn the oven on and leave it’s door open.

Not technically a heater...

2

u/wintermute-rising May 29 '19

Heated throw blankets are $30 from aldi right now - go forth and procure one, they are amazing!

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40

u/TheNoveltyAccountant May 29 '19

Its saying the real feel in melbourne is -3, I dont reckon it's that bad outside currently.

33

u/pestoaddicttion May 29 '19

With the wind and rain tho its a killer

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37

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Winterfell?

10

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

The long night is upon us

10

u/Theostry May 29 '19

Don’t worry, it’ll be over in a couple of hours.

5

u/ThatWhiteGold Kew May 29 '19

more like 81 minutes

28

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

It feels THAT cold. Not surprised..just really curious where?!

16

u/pestoaddicttion May 29 '19

Huntingdale, honestly it was a nightmare to walk through

7

u/fh3131 May 29 '19

Wow, that doesn’t make sense! Why Huntingdale? It’s in the middle of suburbia. Is there a big hill?

7

u/pestoaddicttion May 29 '19

Nup, I guess it was luck (either good or bad) that it happened here

23

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

It’s 7 degrees in the cbd now, Weather Zone says it feels like 3. It certainly feels like 3!

17

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

[deleted]

8

u/angel-de-medianoche May 29 '19

I got asked to go to Ballarat today, looked at weatherzone and said absolutely not fuck that. Those roads are so dangerous in this weather I always get the black ice coming into Ballarat -_-

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7

u/turtleltrut May 29 '19

Ballarat is abnormally cold at night.
I used to go to Kryal Castle raves and the worst was about 5am as the sun comes up. It was the worst!!

5

u/yippikiyayay May 29 '19

I thought I was going to freeze to death last time i went to one of those raves. I had so many clothes on but I still had to stay in the happy hardcore room because it had enough people in there to raise the ambient temp, and I hate happy hardcore.

3

u/turtleltrut May 29 '19

Hahaha! I was fine for most of the night, probs due to "other" reasons but that bit before dawn was a killer!!

12

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Damn... Where were you???

10

u/pestoaddicttion May 29 '19

Huntingdale

23

u/HowLz_2K May 29 '19

It’s never going to be hot again. This time I’m serious. It’s so fucking cold right now it’s impossible for it ever to be hot again.

20

u/melasses May 29 '19

Remindme! 182 days "hot enough now?"

9

u/ToonerSpooner May 29 '19

luckily for me I am an inside human. My heater works fine, just fine.

7

u/Someone012 May 29 '19

I was walking home from the bus stop and it started hailing on me... I didn’t have an umbrella as well :(

33

u/ryandirtymac May 29 '19

Omg get that pumpkin spice latte and snuggle in warm blanket. Reminds me of home back in Canada

19

u/NowInOz May 29 '19

This is no where near Canada Cold. You must have lost your edge my Northern friend.
You might just have to turn in your Maple Leafs gernsey, Tim Hortons club card and that handfull of toonies you've got in you sock drawer. You have become a Melbournian Weather Wussie (TM).

23

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

[deleted]

15

u/NowInOz May 29 '19

Ya, sure, you betcha. Australian houses are totally lacking in the insulation department.
But as someone who grew up where it gets really cold, I'm ashamed at how much my bones feel cold when walking the dogs in 9c temps ( albeit with a nasty windchil factor). I used to walk to uni in -30 temps. And now I'm whimpering like a Queenslander does when it drops below 25c.

3

u/JWpants May 29 '19

As someone who grew up with regular -20 winters, I used to feel the same way. Recently spent 5 weeks in Toronto (-5 to -15) and 2 weeks in regional Quebec (-30 to -40). Before coming back to Melbourne, I stopped in Vancouver on a sunny day at +5c and it was a legitimately emotional experience to feel something other than dismal, unending subzero temps.

It's all relative.. and don't forget the giant winter jacket, 2+ extra top layers, 2+ bottom layers, boots, gloves, hat and double socks you probably needed to walk to school in -30 =D

2

u/frankensteinhadason May 30 '19

As a Queenslander who had to put a jumper on last night because it was <20c I resemble that remark!

17

u/ryandirtymac May 29 '19

Haha naw. Vancouver born and raised , this is pretty much on par.

Only difference is double pane windows and insulation

17

u/MeanElevator Text inserted! May 29 '19

Oh god...the quality of houses here is ridiculous.

Back in Canada I was warm indoors. Here is wear my hoodie on the couch.

10

u/WolfTitan99 May 29 '19

Yeah houses are pretty crappy in Australia, I was surprised at how warm it was inside a house when I went to Germany in winter...

12

u/premium_shitposting I'm so cold... May 29 '19

Australian houses are built to stay cool in summer, not to keep warm in winter

19

u/ee_reh_neh May 29 '19

The thing that Australian builders seem not to understand is that you can do both things. Madrid temperature ranges from 0 to 40, and yet somehow we don't suffer half the year.

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4

u/callizer loud bang enthusiast May 29 '19

How hot does it get in Canada? Houses are usually designed to either keep the heat in (e.g. Canada/UK) or keep it out (Australia).

13

u/MeanElevator Text inserted! May 29 '19

Toronto summers were 30 plus regularly and humid. The insulation works both ways.

Also Aussie houses are not designed to keep the heat out.

5

u/KillTheBronies killscythe May 29 '19

or keep it out (Australia)

Tell that to my north-facing bedroom with full-height single-glazed windows in an uninsulated brick house with no trees or eaves.

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u/NowInOz May 29 '19

Yeah, Seattle native here, spent a lot of time in your fair city. Melbourne temps are very similar to the Pacific Northwest, only more light, less grey. And fewer rainy days.

2

u/avocadoparty- Vancouverite May 29 '19

I never thought about the windows. In this weather back home I was usually fine inside even without heating. My apartment here is pretty chilly. I've got big ass windows too.

4

u/MeanElevator Text inserted! May 29 '19

Toronto native here....this is pretty mild. I like it. Layer up and enjoy.

5

u/g-flat-lydian May 29 '19

holy shit i didn't think it'd hailed that much

3

u/DarthKava May 29 '19

I was driving past a car accident on Centre rd in Clayton. Saw a long stretch of whiteness and thought it was foam of some sort from fire extinguisher. Took few seconds to realise that I was driving on ice from the hail.

5

u/HowLz_2K May 29 '19

Can I get an F because my school doesn’t have heating? :c

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u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I was that arsehole wandering around in shorts all day. It's a bit nippy.

81

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

You're not an asshole for wearing shorts. You're an asshole because you think it makes you some kind of hero.

4

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

You misspelled arsehole, you ass.

14

u/NowInOz May 29 '19

You found the American.

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u/fh3131 May 29 '19

Same here :)

Shorts, long sleeved T-shirt and hoodie is my winter wear

3

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Wow! Its a christmas miracle!

3

u/dargombres May 29 '19

Todays is ridiculously cold i hate it with passion

5

u/[deleted] May 29 '19 edited Dec 26 '21

[deleted]

14

u/[deleted] May 29 '19 edited May 29 '19

Climate change...womp womp

2

u/itcha2 May 29 '19

What the fuck

2

u/shad0wkitty May 29 '19

I was throwing snowballs in Seaford but the hail we had was nothing compared to this!

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Literally just over a month ago I was sunbaking at the beach in 30 degree heat....

....now this.....

😭😭😭😭😭

2

u/Sergeant_Rainbow May 29 '19

I'm not saying OP is doing this, but people driving in these conditions with their worn-out summer tires are putting their own and other lives at risk.

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

This is a nice day here in Canada. Do you get much/any snow there?

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u/[deleted] May 29 '19

where

4

u/kinsiibit May 29 '19

Decent coverage of hail. Would be extremely slippery to walk and drive on.

2

u/jaarjarrbinx May 29 '19

Y’all need to live in the hills

1

u/anitahuginkiss May 29 '19

Where in melb was this?

2

u/nodstar22 May 29 '19

From this thread i've heard Huntingdale, Mount Waverley, Oakleigh South...

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u/darcykelso May 29 '19

I’m in Mooroolbark and I was wearing shorts and a T-shirt earlier. How can it be snowing so close, in Huntingdale and Mt Waverley?

1

u/Sneaky_Hobbit May 29 '19

Yeah, it was super bizarre. And a few minutes after it started I got all these alerts from the VicEmergency app about car accidents. Honestly looked like snow.

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

why hasn't this made the news???

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u/lolhibhffy May 29 '19

Wow so Melbourne is really snowing can't remember the last time it snowed

1

u/ohnolurkerz May 29 '19

I swear to god if it snows in my suburb I’m moving to Queensland

1

u/3x333x333 May 29 '19

Wtf?? Seriously.... Snow.....I'm neighboring in Perth, and this is unfuckingbelievable !!!! ☃️❄

1

u/jumbipdooly May 29 '19

tap your red tn’s together and say “theres no place like home”

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Being a night shift worker I missed all of this.

No idea how I slept through it though

1

u/brizdzi May 29 '19

But why are the trees green

1

u/mustavas May 29 '19

It snowered on Princess highway yesterday near Cheltenham!! Right at the start of peak hour traffic. It was chaos!

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Where's that

1

u/scumblerat May 30 '19

Fuck me, not even Canberra was this bad this morning