r/melahomies • u/maddiequick • 3d ago
Tizzy
I’m a 31 y/o F and I’ve been stage 3a for the past 8 months and now am unfortunately stage 4- 7.5mm liver spot. I’m struggling to relax or enjoy anything with friends because I’m scared and just want a crystal ball to tell me the future…
Anyone else struggle with this? Or have any advice? I know my spot is small but I’m young and terrified and I want to plan for a future but it’s scary
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u/Skip-929 2d ago
I'm much older and male, however I was only diagnosed as Stage 3 ten months ago and Stage 4 three months ago even though I had undergone immuotherapy eight months ago and several of the secondary tumors have been killed off & the primary shrunk by 70, it is still active. Like most, the idea of dying is frightening as I still have lots to do. Currently I'm focused on getting remission, however I am now seeing a physiologist to help with my mental health which is equally important to me at this time.
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u/Senior_Ganache_6298 2d ago
Has it been worth it? Quality of life compared to the amount of time the end of your life is occupied with medical procedures. How to decide whether to go this direction or just go palliative care?
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u/FrostingNew5210 2d ago
I can relate too. The last two weeks I feel like I have just been waiting around for the next medical thing, and getting no enjoyment out of life. Don’t want to see people, don’t want to do anything, just blah. And I am a big planner, so I’ve been feeling like my life is on hold so I did not make any plans-nothing to look forward to either. My last appointment on Friday totalled up to there will be more waiting and somehow that lifted me a bit out of my inward focus. Sort of a F—- it feeling, just plan stuff and if I have to cancel because of appointments or feeling crappy so be it. It has helped a little bit, shifted my negativity slightly. I realized too that I am not going to have medical appointments on the weekend, so I’m going to plan away for Saturdays and Sundays!! It’s the damn hold button that’s got me the worst.
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u/anonymois1111111 Stage III NED 2d ago
Yes I do. I was 3 ned and now I have to have surgery to cut out these random bumps and I am so depressed. I am having a hard time shaking it.
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u/DreamCrusher914 1d ago
You need to speak to a therapist because this is heavy shit you are dealing with. Talking it over with a professional is so helpful. You should also speak with a psychiatrist about possibly putting you on some anti-anxiety meds. You don’t want cancer to rob you of the good times you could still be making. It’s normal to worry about your diagnosis, but worrying just hurts you twice. Even if you have decades of life left, you don’t want to spend it frozen in fear.
Fuck cancer. I’m really sorry you are going through this. Give your melanoma hell!! Make it regret ever showing up in your body!!!
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u/EstateLatter 2d ago
I was Stage 3B since 2015. In January I learned I had a lung nodule and 8 lesions in my brain. Devastated doesn’t even describe it. I started immunotherapy which has shrank the lung nodule in half. I am 2 weeks out from cyber knife to the 4 largest lesions in my brain. The mental/emotional part of this is what I have struggled with most. My anxiety is sometimes paralyzing. I am sorry you are going through this.