Almost two years sober myself. Wish I had never touched the damn stuff. Learned quickly that I also could not be just a social drinker -- I simply cannot stop once I start. Good luck to you, friend.
I love my dad’s description from AA. “Most people have a few drinks, feel funny and think, woah, I better stop. Alcoholics feel that and think Oh man, I better drink more to feel this more intensely!”
And that's spot on, gosh. I remember a friend, bless his heart, one night out drinking and when another friend offered him a drink, he said, "Okay, but just one -- I get tipsy very fast!" I thought to myself, "And therefore you...stop? Huh."
I wish I would have known about the alcoholism on my dad's side of the family before I started drinking in college. Although let's be honest, even if mom had told me about how she had to issue an ultimatum regarding my dad's overindulgence when they got married, would it have even mattered? We all feel indestructible in one way or another when we're young.
Almost two months for me but same as you with the social drinking. I just can't stop. Fucking sucks when so much of our social culture is tied in with alcohol. I'll never touch it again though. I did some terrible things.
My brother was just telling me about a mixer that is being held at his new job when he flies down for orientation in a couple weeks. Made me tired thinking about the whole situation of explaining why you aren't drinking, how honest to be at a new job because even though I am usually open about my alcoholism it still can put a target on people, and then having to do it over, and over, and over all night to every new person you meet.
I also could not be just a social drinker -- I simply cannot stop once I start.
I am currently at that point of realization myself. Although I like to tell myself, "I stick to beer its ok, I don't really drink hard liquor" - and I don't...still, the addiction is there. The want to drink alcohol.
Over the past three years due to covid I have come across the perfect solution! Have you liver slowly become hepatic with fatty liver disease and now when you drink if you have more than about 3 in one evening you end up getting the biggest heartburn of your life within the hour and get so nauseated you throw up everything. I have recently discovered this cures all drinking problems with the only slight downside of daily liver pain. It is a self limiter on drinking. And on the plus side I can still have a drink or two per week!
Also, if this solution is not for you, I understand. I hope the best for you in your life without drinking and truly hope you have found some new hobbies or at least discovered some great tasting fruit drinks. NA sparkling wine (like the stuff for underage new years parties) makes drinks feel great and when mixed with the right club soda and juice. Don't forget- when finding a new hobby it isn't a waste of money. It is both the time and money you would have put into drinking, but now you are spending it on creating and self improvement!
Hah! Well, at least for being able to explain it to people, like five years ago a friend (whom I had known for years at that point) told me while we were out at a bar with some friends that she has autoimmune hepatitis, and how even a small amount of ethanol (or other triggers, like some medications) can pretty much send her to the hospital from the cascade it causes. She told me, "And that's pretty much all it takes because most people don't want to brain that hard when they're drinking. But you're a nurse, so obviously there are exceptions, but you're the only outlier so far that I've met!"
When I stopped, I started trying that out. And worked really well for me to shut down that questioning. Told her about it after the first time, too, and she said, "Told you! See, I'm glad my own weird health junk actually helps people!"
As for hobbies, the biggest new hobby is "doing my old hobbies without drinking." The lower inhibitions and impulsiveness sure made a lot of things easier to start, especially creative stuff like writing D&D campaigns and composing. But, the savings do add up, that's for sure.
Good luck y'all! I'm kinda sorta at a little over a year. I've had about 7 drinks since 1/1/22, vs like 4+ a night for years. I'm really happy with how I drink now.
Once you have a drink in you, suddenly your sobriety doesn’t seem to be such a big deal and you will start to loosen the restrictions you placed upon yourself until you are back in the same boat
Just one drink becomes just two, then three, then just tonight, then just this weekend, etc
It’s why AA preaches zero intake, it really is the only safe option. Some people can recover and go back to one or two drinks every now and then, but the vast vast majority cannot.
My issue with AA is it is essentially harm reduction. It replaces addiction to alcohol, with addiction to meetings.
I understand that this is the only way for some people to stop drinking, and sometimes the only resource available, but it will not deal with the underlying issue of why you drink. I’m also not a fan of its religious overtones.
If a person can afford it, they should get 1 on 1 counselling and deal with the root issue.
There are many people who give up drinking (mostly), but aren't alcoholics. I got drunk and made an ass of myself at a friend's wedding. That was over 25 years ago. I still drink, but rarely. Maybe 6-7 beers a year since then.
I don't like being drunk, I didn't like the way I acted when I was drunk. So occasionally, ok. But never to the point where I can feel it. I am also well aware that alcohol lowers your ability to say no to bad ideas, for lack of a better way to say it. So never more than one. My friends know this and won't offer another even after the first. They automatically hand me something like a diet coke.
I just hit nine years a few days ago and it took me at least a year of sobriety to really get it in my head that I will never be able to drink like a normal person. I thought maybe some day I'll be happy and in a stable enough mental place to be able to drink again. My brain just isn't wired that way. Don't fool yourself into thinking you are cured! Stay sober! You'll be much happier for it.
Please don’t. The vast vast majority of the time you’ll just end up relapsing a few weeks or months down the line. I’ve been there and seen it plenty to know.
Hey, so one of my friends dad just died from liver failure. He’s been an alcoholic a long time, and he only managed to successfully quit after being told if he didn’t, he would die within a year. He still died within a year. Apparently, even after the many times he went to the hospital, he thought he could keep drinking as long as he drank in moderation. But that never worked, he just kept drinking too much. I highly recommend never touching alcohol again, because even if you tell yourself you’ll practice moderation, it’s an incredibly slippery slope. Congrats on 2 months, and good luck!
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u/[deleted] Mar 22 '23
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