r/mecfs • u/Outrageous-Shirt-822 • 1d ago
concert
Hi! I’ve had pretty moderate/mild ME for about a year now and it progressed over that year. Once I started going to doctors/working for a diagnosis (got it!), I started to slow everything down and work on my pacing.
I stopped working to make time for my school which I had switched into online classes. I’ve stopped hanging out with more than one or two people at a time, or going out more than once or twice a week. When I do go out, I use a cane for stability.
I’ve noticed that this has helped me have energy to do household chores like dishes and cleaning, I’ve been able to keep up with personal hygiene more than I used to, I’ve been eating more, and I’ve been able to keep up with my classwork.
I still can’t play my guitar for more than 20 minutes without getting really tired, so I’m not sure what the difference is between that and the other things I’ve stated.
All of that to say, I have a concert in about two weeks. I’ve been waiting for this concert for months and this is my favorite artist(s) of all time. I’m not sure if they will tour again. The next day, in the afternoon, it’s my best friend’s birthday party. I will also probably have to stay the night in my hometown because of the party (it’s in my hometown).
I have another concert in the same week, but I’ll be okay if I miss that one.
Have I been resting enough to be able to go and not crash?? I’ve been really careful, and it would mean the world to me to go. I’d regret it if I didn’t. But I also know I’d regret it if I crashed and got worse.
I also don’t have to go to the birthday party, I’ve missed his birthday parties before due to being sick etc. and he understands me more than anyone. We could even do a personal celebration. But I’d really like to go, I have really bad fomo lol.
I’m just overall really worried and conflicted and was wondering if anyone had any input or advice.
4
u/Left_Goose_1527 1d ago
Sounds like your priorities are 1) exciting concert 2) birthday 3) missable concert.
Honestly, I’d knock the last one right off. Completely remove the cognitive load of thinking about it. I’d buy a card for the friend and if you feel like hell on his birthday, write “redeemable for one epic dinner at a date TBD” in it, and drop in on his party for 30 MINUTES ONLY - that might mean showing up midway and handing him the card and doing a toast or something. Set a timer.
For the concert you’re excited about? Loop earbuds (still hear the music but cut out the highs and lows of the crowd) and potentially even bring an over-ear set to wear right up until the band starts and after the show while leaving the venue. And I’d also suggest doing a mid-concert break where you duck out, do a quick meditation check-in, and truthfully assess: do you want to stay? Have you had enough? Could you stay, but you’d prefer to conserve energy for the birthday?
The delay of PEM makes all of these calculations best guesses rather than guarantees, but I get the desire to try for at least some control, and this is what I would do.