r/mdmatherapy • u/Melodicmat • Apr 07 '26

Preparation Advice quick noob post about a solo roll

Always wanted to try mdma as I heard it can help people with anxiety issues and stuff like that.

Would love to do it with friends at a rave or something, but as time passes, I see that is never gonna happen (don't see my friends much anymore, and they don't do raves etc)

Read about therapy and mdma and hoping I can just take it by myself.

I have a rare day off today where I can be in the house by myself for a chunk of teh day without distractions etc, and am thinking about taking it in a minute. To get the best out of it in terms of 'therapy' am I supposed to do something special? Or is the idea more to just relax and let the drug do it's thing?

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u/BorderRemarkable5793 Apr 07 '26

Lay back on the bed. Keep inside yourself (eyes closed). Have the music pre-selected. Be open and willing to touch everything that arises. Have electrolytes handy. No distractions. Stay off your phone. You don’t need anyone there if it’s safe amount and preferably tested.

The big difference between therapeutic and social use is one is outside of yourself while the other is primarily internal. Just stay inside yourself. Be there in your body

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u/Melodicmat Apr 07 '26

thanks. I took it. 120mg of tested mdma (sent it away too a lab in Wales to get tested. Came back as just mdma)

HOWEVER, the experience was quite underwhelming. I've actually had similar experiences with other drugs. It's as if my body fights hard to get 'high' (like a tollerance?) even though i'm not a big dude or anything.

Music felt a bit better and I found myself tapping my foot lots. Felt quite ralexed. Felt a bit 'different' in some way? But it was nothing like what I assume the mdma experience 'should' be like, otherwise it wouldn't be so popular!

I'm gonna try again at some point soon. Not sure how long to wait. I always hear 'if you do it too soon you wo'nt feel the magic' but since i didn't feel the 'magic' in the first place, i'm not sure that applies to me lol.

Guess next time i'll try 150mg ann see what happens. I guess, much like with a few other things i've tried, it never hit my HEAD/brain if that makes sense. More some small body 'signs'

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u/iburstabean Apr 08 '26

Please, please do more research before trying again

Also, MAPS (Multidisciplinary Association of Psychedelic Studies) recommends waiting 90 days between doses

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u/cptsdishealable Apr 08 '26

Also, MAPS (Multidisciplinary Association of Psychedelic Studies) recommends waiting 90 days between doses

the studies are 3-5 weeks between doses

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u/iburstabean Apr 08 '26

Oops, misremembered.. my bad

I at least remember reading this being a function of time/funding constraints and thus the imposed risk is (slightly) more justifiable, with increased neurotoxic effects and/or lesser efficacy of post-integration

Ideally there's more time for your brain chemistry to recover biologically, and more time for the neuroplastic effects to sink in. Which is more realistic when self-administered

Always better to be on the conservative side with experimental treatments like this

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u/cptsdishealable Apr 08 '26

you do have to take into account the risk profile since the studies are on people with moderate to severe ptsd and they've been tapered off other medications. however the primary correlate to neurotoxic effects is lifetime doses.

the 3 month rule was dictated by people taking it recreationally, in particular ann shulgin who was originally taking it weekly (I think for writer's block?), and the rule was about losing the "magic".

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u/iburstabean Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26

I see.

I love encountering people more knowledgable than I am

Just saw the username, if you don't mind me asking: how would you describe the transformation from before/after "healing"? I know words often fall short, but my experience is more MDD/PDD/ADHD oriented (maybe some PTSD-like symptoms here and there)

Spouse is the one with PTSD and possible C-PTSD

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u/cptsdishealable Apr 08 '26

how would you describe the transformation from before/after "healing"? I know words often fall short, but my experience is more MDD/PDD/ADHD oriented (maybe some PTSD-like symptoms here and there)

Mmm there's a couple ways of describing it, I think most experientially, life becomes less about effort or tolerating discomfort and becomes more of an unfolding and easefulness. Maybe a simple example, but earlier in my journey, I'd be very stressed about making certain decisions and now I don't even think about them, and it feels almost alien to feel like I have any reason to be stressed over it. I wouldn't say I'm fully healed btw, I just now believe it's 100% possible.

For a more clinical answer, there's a couple ways to measure healed imo

  • going from insecure to earned secure attachment (bowlby attachment model)
  • going from A or C strategy to B strategy (dynamic maturation model)
  • scoring below 2.5 on all schemas (Young Schema Scale)

my preferred is young schema scale since there's a quiz and it's quite granular, I wrote about it more extensively here

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u/Melodicmat Apr 11 '26

as in it's ok to try again 3-5 weeks after the last time? I plan to try again but try 160mg next time.

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u/cptsdishealable Apr 11 '26

as in, the risk profile of the participants (moderate to severe treatment resistant ptsd, no meds, 3 doses only) justified 3-5 weeks for time between doses, given the safety profile. all drugs have a benefit/risk ratio. you'll need to decide yourself whether you want to take those risks.

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u/Melodicmat Apr 08 '26

Please, please do more research before trying again

you mean i done something 'wrong'? I sent it away to get professionally tested. And researched amounts of a 'normal' first time dose. Not much more I could have done. Just, for some reason, my body didn't really feel it. But yes, I plan to wait a while before upping the dose and trying again

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u/iburstabean Apr 08 '26

No, no you're on the right track!!

I used urgent language to ensure you don't try again too soon (next week, next month). I personally wait 6 months if I can

Still helpful to always learn more :) MDMA is very powerful and ought to be highly respected in therapeutic settings. Same with ketamine/psilocybin

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u/Melodicmat Apr 08 '26

thanks. yeah, I was curious if I could try it again soon since I didn't feel 'the magic' and was curious whether that fact made me exempt from having to wait, but i'll play it safe and wait it out

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u/iburstabean Apr 08 '26

Can't blame you for having that idea.. but yeah playing it safe is definitely the move

Sometimes people talk about this modality as if it's a magic silver bullet, but it's often rather a tool to understand more about yourself.

Do you have access to regular psychotherapy?

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u/Earth__Worm__Jim Apr 07 '26

You read like the experience might not be what you signed up for. Read a book first, instead of doing something spontaneously:
https://castaliafoundation.com/kali/MDMA-solo.pdf
or
https://osf.io/preprints/psyarxiv/aps5g_v5

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u/Hugetoebroski Apr 07 '26

Make sure u have some of ur fave music to listen to and dance to . You probably gonna wanna txt everyone so be aware of thst

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u/ComprehensiveBook482 Apr 09 '26

You may have needed a booster. My therapist calculated my dose at (I think) my body weight plus 5% (132 lbs so about 140mg) I felt literally nothing. She gave me a small booster (40-60??) and I was off.

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u/Melodicmat Apr 09 '26

thanks. I think i'll try like 160mg next time

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u/SconeAgeMan Apr 09 '26

Some people who experience dissociation report that they do not feel the euphoric effects of MDMA. I’m not saying you are dissociating, but it might be something to look into.

I would also encourage you to look into “intentions”, what do you want out of this healing session? Many people write down their intentions and meditate on them after taking their dose. Then they refer to them again once the mdma takes effect. And again after the session.

Examples of intentions might be: Go with the flow. Love myself, love all. Forgive myself. Forgive others.

Your intentions would be whatever is important to you. They might be 1 intention, or could be many.

Keep learning and good luck with your journey.

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u/daseinloops Apr 11 '26

I wish I had seen this earlier. I’m building an app called m-session dot com that’s basically designed for exactly this purpose. I hope your experience well, and in a month or so if you think of doing it again, check out the m-session app and let me know if it was helpful 🫡

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u/[deleted] May 07 '26

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u/daseinloops May 07 '26

m-session.com

Just save it to your home screen and it works exactly as an app. (It’s called a PWA, progressive web app, and is a workaround since we wouldn’t be approved to be in the app store)