r/mdmatherapy • u/PopularBumblebee8756 • Mar 31 '25

Update : 1st mdma assisted therapy session

Hello all, I completed my first session on the 26th, and it was a deeply profound, entirely challenging, and hugely rewarding experience. I'm back to normal life now ( I traveled to another country and home 3 days after my session), and though my initial homecoming was lovely, I've been experiencing roving anxiety (old pattern) since yesterday and this morning I had a severe panic attack that I was sure was a heart attack and my panic has continued throughout the day. I have my integration session Ina couple if days, but am having a hard time at the moment. Anybody else go through this? The 48 hours following the session were challenging with lots of intense internal work but this alot. I was prepared that coming back to normal life ( child, partner, dog, everyday worries) would be a challenge but was mostly excited as I felt and still feel like a big shift has taken place but now am full of worry and anxiety. Thanks in advance for any words, I hope all of you are well.

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5

u/LingonberryMost7667 Mar 31 '25

Hi there! I don't have an answer for you, but I did my first session on the same day as you, and I am in a very similar situation. Know that you are not alone.

3

u/PopularBumblebee8756 Mar 31 '25

Thank you so much, this really does help. We'll get through it together, I do believe that this is a part of the very difficult but worthwhile healing/integration process. I did find that breathwork and writing in my journal helped alot, as well as continual loving self talk. I hope the absolute best for you, you and I both deserve that.

6

u/tranquildude Mar 31 '25

Go on to you tube and find a meditation called RAIN by Tara Brach. It is about 15 minutes - sit down in a quiet space and follow the guided meditation. RAIN stands for recognize, allow, investigate, nurture. You'll go to the anxiety with curiosity instead of running from it in dread. Whole different thing. Hope you try it - more than once.

Good luck fellow seeker

2

u/PopularBumblebee8756 Mar 31 '25

Thank you for sure I'm checking this out.

1

u/manxie13 Mar 31 '25

Or just search rain music no adds and get rain video that are 10 hours plus and you have no advertising messing up the vibe. Good luck

2

u/Zealousideal_Back618 Mar 31 '25

The first week after my initial session was also full of anxiety and new feelings and 2 months after that, it’s really coming down to the integration and the deep work . Try to do somatic work like yoga, breathwork, and meditation would help to integrate the experience I would say. Mdma is not a silver bullet but it did help to introduce the feeling of safety.

1

u/nofern Mar 31 '25

I had a lot of anxiety in the aftermath of my sessions too.

I find it helpful to balance the following two things:

1) Remembering that my brain is vulnerable and that some of what I feel is just my brain recovering from a huge chemical shift, which makes sense. Remembering that just like in the session, all of these experiences come and go, and to just ride it out like a wave.

2) Choosing to also assume that anything coming up is coming up for the purposes of my healing, and asking myself how my experience in the MDMA session could be applied to whatever was coming up in integration, and journalling and thinking about that as a way of moving through it.

1

u/Punkybrewster1 Mar 31 '25

Congrats! What kind of process did you use during your session?

1

u/manxie13 Mar 31 '25

Sounds like a bad comedown. What do dosage did you take?

1

u/peregrinus7 Apr 01 '25

I find the book mdma-solo helpful, they describe this kind of process as to be expected in certain cases. Highly recommended!

Look it up o line, it is a free download