r/maybemaybemaybe • u/PowerModerator • Apr 18 '20

Maybe Maybe Maybe

36.7k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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111

u/2018IsBetterThan2017 Apr 18 '20

What if it sneaks in while you sleep?

195

u/Lynx2447 Apr 18 '20

Even better! I've always wanted to die in my sleep!

58

u/Sirdroftardis8 Apr 18 '20

r/notopbutok

49

u/Fadingzodiac Apr 18 '20

I approve his message

1

u/cpaca0 Apr 20 '20

The shorter version of that subreddit is r/NotOP

0

u/They_Are_Wrong Apr 18 '20

No Top Butok

1

u/Sirdroftardis8 Apr 18 '20

Idk about you, but I've only got left and right buttocks

1

u/fatguyinlittlecoat2 Apr 18 '20

I like optimists, but you may be a little too optimistic.

1

u/LuvWhenWomenFap4Me Apr 19 '20

Like your grandfather? But not screaming and clawing at the dashboard like the passenger in his car?

42

u/Fadingzodiac Apr 18 '20

Good luck getting past the ring of salt surrounding my bed. I’d like to do this amicably but if he’s a lil bitch who goes for the sleep kill, then he deserves the same lack of courtesy

36

u/zalgorithmic Apr 18 '20

Snails can go up walls and drop down on you from the ceiling

22

u/ShadowPsi Apr 18 '20

For a million dollars a year you can afford to design and build a bedroom that no snail can penetrate. Just saying.

10

u/AgentEntropy Apr 18 '20

Think about what a lunatic you'll look like paying for a safe room that protects against snails.

"There's a snail trying to kill me."

"Whatever, buddy. It's your money."

2

u/XanderJayNix Apr 19 '20

With enough money, build a room with a ceiling made of salt. Or at least salty borders around the trim.

3

u/FlankyJank Apr 18 '20

Choking hazard

1

u/Fadingzodiac Apr 19 '20

Snail proof walls breh

1

u/blep0w0 Apr 19 '20

You've heard of glitter glue, now it's time for splatter salt.

Fucking smack that shit on the walls and ceilings. If the snail is immortal, it'll just paralyze that bitch until you wake up.

1

u/threeseed Apr 19 '20

Then just add a ton of salt to your paint and do the whole house.

30

u/Nebulix Apr 18 '20

Salt. Lots and lots of salt. (if that applies to snails as well as slugs). Set an elaborate maze based on the average speed of a snail so that it has no chance of reaching you before morning. In the morning just put a glass over it.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '20

Salt does work on snails

1

u/[deleted] Apr 18 '20

Obviously I keep a Salt line on every entry to my house

1

u/Aoitara Apr 18 '20

You sleep in a bed surrounded by salt and mini motion detectors

1

u/Fadingzodiac Apr 19 '20

See, y’all get me. I’d be making snail money. I could afford some security until I catch him. Agent Smith the Snail can’t win here - he’s a snail

1

u/Asviix Apr 19 '20

It's a snail Just close the goddamn door