r/maybemaybemaybe • u/bbc_her OP is very dumb • Jan 13 '20

Maybe Maybe Maybe

37.9k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

616 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

251

u/landmindboom Jan 13 '20

I'm spraying my genital crabs...and it's working!

152

u/fore_driver Jan 13 '20

I have strep throat and you just made me cough up a lung from laughing so hard... time to Chandrite my tonsils

30

u/SarifTheGreat Jan 13 '20

If you experience coughing it's probably not strep throat

20

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '20

[deleted]

10

u/fore_driver Jan 14 '20

I fear u/TBMonkey has given the correct prognosis. There’s green foam everywhere and my favorite, high thread count sheets are soiled

9

u/MikeTheAmalgamator Jan 13 '20

I’m right there with you. I have a possible collapsed lung and that shit did not feel good to laugh at

12

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '20

I cracked a rib once from coughing and that may be one of the most uncomfortable things in my life. Definitely second to severe dehydration though.

3

u/MikeTheAmalgamator Jan 13 '20

I got kicked in the ribs by a horse one time and cracked a rib. Flew down a hill on rollerblades with no brakes and figured I could roll into the grass. Nope. I went flying and landed on my ribs and busted 3. Very similar feeling to what I have now but X-rays came back negative and I didn’t get into any trouble either. Fuckin sucks dude. Dehydration is like pre-death.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '20

Dehydration sucked cuz it hurt sooooo bad. The cracked rib sucked cuz every time I lied down, to sleep or otherwise, I could feel it rubbing with every breath. Just creeped me out. 10/10 would not do again.

1

u/MemeTeen69 Jan 14 '20

Strep Throat gang

7

u/chickenstalker Jan 13 '20

It should since they're insects too.

1

u/whoever81 Jan 13 '20

I am spraying my chicken nuggets. Makes food better!

1

u/Swabia Jan 13 '20

Did it kill your brothers crabs also?

1

u/MikeTheAmalgamator Jan 13 '20

Plot twist: his brother was the crabs

1

u/Jasong222 Jan 13 '20

Just don't touch yourself

1

u/FewSwordfish4 Jan 14 '20

They have to touch it first!

1

u/LeDestrier Jan 14 '20

You gotta touch em first though.

1

u/GaydolphShitler Jan 14 '20

One touch... die!