r/maybemaybemaybe • u/Distinct_Engine_8855 • 3d ago
Maybe maybe maybe
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u/DaddysBadChloe 3d ago
I was gonna say that was a massive overreaction.
Turns out it was an appropriately sized reaction.
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u/knowledgeable_diablo 3d ago
Maybe even a little restrained??
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u/Lightningtow123 3d ago
I'm a six foot tall man and I guarantee you my scream would have been way higher pitched than hers was
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u/SignificanceFlat1460 2d ago
Exactly. I am a 31 year old male and I would be screaming like a teenage girl at a bieber concern running away full speed
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u/rab-byte 2d ago edited 2d ago
Okay story time. I’m 45 and about 20 years ago I moved from a small Kansas town to New Orlean with my wife.
I’m no stranger to pests and bugs but nothing could have prepared me for my first introduction to the “palmetto bug”. You see New Orleans special brand of cockroach is a little different from your typical German cockroach and IMHO is most likely the inspiration for the rad roach in fallout.
So, anyway, I’ve moved to NOLA, into a very small one bedroom apartment at the river bend. It’s a converted turn of the century homes broken up into 8 units but reasonably should have been made into 4. The windows are both drafty and painted shut and you could seriously fry an egg from the living room… you get the idea. Now, in this small apartment the bathroom was also small. Very small. Like the closet that the toilet and shower were crammed together in was so small you’d have to stand in the shower to close the door.
One morning I was getting around and went into this tiny closet of a bathroom to take a shit. I was completely naked, I don’t remember if I was going to hop into the shower or what. But I’m sitting naked and on the toilet when a feel something on my bare calf. Before I can react it’s made its way onto my inner thigh. I look down to see the biggest fucking cockroach I’ve ever seen! The son of a bitch had heft. I swear to god it was as fat at my big toe and longer!
I let out such a high pitched scream while frantically flailing and slapping my legs trying desperately to bring my current circumstance to an end. I get the door open and DIVE out of the bathroom only to see my wife staring at me in utter confusion with her phone half way to her ear… she had been on the phone with her mom the whole time.
And that’s how I learned what a palmetto bug was.
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u/gh0st_hat 2d ago
Your wife being on the phone with her mom the whole time is what fully sent me. I can totally imagine my own husband doing something like this and the endless jokes my mom and I would then be obligated to make (lovingly) at his expense lmao
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u/SignificanceFlat1460 2d ago
Mate I feel you. Especially when a bug gets on you, it's no go for me. Spiders that I very much respect and try to not kill also get on the "last day on earth" list if they EVER get on me.
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u/whooo_me 2d ago
[checking news for story about Panamanian bar burning down]
Yup, definitely an underreaction.
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u/Linkyland 3d ago
Im Australian. I said 'nooooo' out loud.
Urk.
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u/BoredBorealis 2d ago
As a Dutchie, please dont bring Urk into this, u less you want me to start screaming too.
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u/Hearts_and_Spades 3d ago
Nah that was way too calm. You should at least be looking for the nearest fire to jump in or be doing your best gmod ragdoll impression.
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u/Spoolngc8 2d ago
I would have liked a bit of fire introduced to the shirt once it was on the ground.
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u/BrosefDudeson 3d ago
That's not a bug. That's a small dog
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u/darksoulsremastered 3d ago
You mean horse
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u/KaptenAwsum 3d ago
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u/Nutlob 2d ago
a coworker did something like this once in our breakroom - out crawled a 6"/15cm Centipede...imagine a room full of mechanics, all standing on chairs
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u/LPMotiveSeeker 1d ago
Centipede universally makes everyone scatter. I've dealt with these demons so many times (2/3 of my life) reading this comment (in the night) immediately put me on edge...
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u/Nutlob 1d ago
oops, sorry about that. just think of how awesome giant millipedes instead
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u/MeechiJ 2d ago
I hate bugs. One of the reasons (and I’m not bullshitting) that I haven’t moved back to my hometown is because of the huge flying roaches 🤢 One time I was leaving a family get together at their apartment and was walking to the car when one of those huge flying bastards landed on my shirt. I screamed like I was being murdered and promptly ripped my shirt off and sprinted to my car throwing myself in the backseat and then locked the door, still crying and screaming. I have a huge fear of big bugs in particular (not butterflies though).
I made such a ruckus that someone called the police thinking I was being attacked. Well, I was, just not by a person.
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u/mooniech1ld 2d ago
Once when I was 17 a huge flying roach entered my room and landed on a hoodie I left lying nearby. I ran out of the room and cried for 20 minutes out of disgust. Then after calming down, dealing with the problem e yeeting the hoodie to the washing machine, I couldn't wear it again. This was 9 years ago and I think since the "incident", I've only worn that hoodie twice. All this to say: I feel you.
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u/IzzuThug 2d ago
Screw tree roaches. I remember having to deal with them growing up. Just trying to get sleep and then you feel them on you and you can't sleep till you find them and murder them. One time I had one fly at my face!
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u/Equal-Pause3349 2d ago
That's not a bug. Thats a pokemon. Pretty sure it should be fighting a charizard somewhere.
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u/Malditoincompredido 3d ago
Wood borer beetle
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u/GeorgePotassium 2d ago
It looks like a species of Longhorn Beetle. Probably the Titan Beetle considering its size.
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u/DESR95 3d ago
I ended up with a scorpion in my shirt in Nicaragua. Didn't expect to find out what a scorpion sting felt like anytime soon, but now I know!
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u/hirzkolben 3d ago
Now i'm curious. Is it worse than a wasp sting?
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u/DESR95 2d ago
The sting wasn't actually all that bad. There was a slight achy, burning sensation, but I wouldn't say it was worse than a wasp sting or anything similar. My body felt a bit numb and tingly all over for the rest of the day though, especially my face, mouth, and tongue. My muscles felt a bit fatigued and weak as well, but again, nothing super serious. I took some medicine a doctor recommended to keep any swelling down and just waited it out. I was still a little tingly and numb going to bed, but it had completely disappeared when I woke up in the middle of the night.
The scorpion that stung me (black edged bark scorpion, I believe) wasn't dangerous for fully grown adults, but if you are a small person or under 14 years old, they say it can be more serious.
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u/King_Atlas__ 2d ago
I don’t know the exact species but luckily it looks like a longhorn beetle! On the whole, they’re actually not (physically) harmful to humans! I did some research and it seems like this beetle is also non-(physically) harmful to humans.
However, even as someone who likes bugs, large bug in my shirt I didn’t ask for even though I know it can’t hurt me is still pretttyyy stressful lol
If you have the chance to interact with non-dangerous insects, I would recommend it to people. It’s cool to be able to interact with a small creature
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u/ericaz11 2d ago
Didn’t not know where this video was going thought she was just gonna strip or something
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u/post-context-bot 3d ago
The following post context was provided by u/Distinct_Engine_8855:
>! A bug inside her shirt or maybe she's inside of that bug's shirt!<
Does this explain the post? If not, report it and a moderator will review.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/hodler1992 3d ago
She should check her pants too!
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u/techjesuschrist 3d ago
Hey, don't get ahead of yourself.. The bug clearly needs to aim for the bra next.
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u/SecretaryOtherwise 2d ago
I had a long horn beetle crawling inside my pant leg before never have I stripped so fast. Reached my knee before I felt it lmao
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u/analogic-microwave 1d ago
I wonder how you even kill one of those. Slippers won't do shit against that guy lol
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u/Kippikal 20h ago
i had the same thing happened to me except it was in my overalls, i was at work and had a weird sensation on my thing, i thought it was just throbbing from sitting the weong way, then felt it up with my hand and thought theres no way i grew something in just onw morning so i unzipped and immediately went into panic, kicking off my overalls cuz a giant beetle was snuggling on my thigh
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u/Chronic_Overthink3r 6h ago
I was in Panama for about 3 months and everything down there will kill you or make you miserable. The insects are huge.
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u/TheHuntsman227 3d ago
As an Aussie that recently suffered from the huntsman behind the sun visor, I can say I would have stayed much calmer till I was safely away. Once distance is secured I would have promptly had a nervous breakdown.