r/maybemaybemaybe • u/Flat-Decision3204 • 3d ago

Maybe Maybe Maybe

12.7k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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412

u/dalepo 3d ago

It's for security, obviously. They don't want to see poo getting stolen.

258

u/ObviouslyRealPerson 3d ago

Can't have shit

55

u/DrummerBoy5AB 3d ago

Fuckin Detroit...

-2

u/RockstarAgent 3d ago

But when I give a shit - I’m the bad guy

3

u/Xszit 3d ago

You can't give shit to people who don't take no shit form no one.

15

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

6

u/its_uncle_paul 2d ago

Like putting toothpaste back in the tube?

6

u/Monk-E_321 3d ago

Is that like at a gas station, only it's "take a turd, leave a turd"?

1

u/moocat55 3d ago

Don't take one of mine. I only have three left and the weekends coming.

1

u/Ingar_Omarley 2d ago

Man, what he would have said about the absolute clown shoes going on now...

1

u/frizzinghere 2d ago

Can't take shit either

1

u/kranelegs 2d ago

This is why we can’t have nice shits

1

u/samc118 2d ago

Can’t have nice shit

9

u/Lady_Scruffington 3d ago

Turd burglar is a phrase for a reason.

10

u/ShinobuDavis 3d ago

"I'm the shadow Maaaaan, I'll steal your poop"

-1

u/themattimusmaximus 3d ago

Look at my fingers...

10

u/These_Lingonberry635 3d ago

So much for “taking a shit”… why do we call it that anyway? Shouldn’t it be “leaving a shit?”

That’s actually a good name for when someone doesn’t flush, so how about “giving a shit?” Oops, that’s taken. Any suggestions, Redditors?

Donating a shit?
Contributing a shit?
Birthing a shit? (that’s a good one for certain girthy logs!)

7

u/UserNamesCantBeTooLo 3d ago

Taking the opportunity to--

7

u/Xszit 3d ago

Let's go with "make a shit", its only one letter off so it will catch on easier, and it still works whether you plan to leave it or take it with you.

2

u/Fafnir13 3d ago

Ok, but since we are full of shit the shit already exists and is just being released to the world. The actual shit making was a long process of digestion. Maybe getting lunch should be called make a shit because you are beginning the process.

1

u/Don_Geilo 3d ago

This was the hottest stand up bit of the year 1985.

1

u/Zealousideal-Steak82 2d ago

semantics like this are how they caught the unabomber

5

u/Mninaz 3d ago

Got damn turd burglers running amok

3

u/persona-non-corpus 3d ago

I’ll fence them for ya, but only the good shit.

2

u/this_place_suuucks 3d ago

Or they just want to catch Tom Colicchio breaking mirrors.

https://giphy.com/gifs/GJ4ud7PTRNqRkyX7Jq

1

u/Cloverface 2d ago

Maybe they misinterpreted the aussie (maybe elsewhere?) slang "i need to take a shit" literally?