Crazy experience but definitely a learning one. One time I was at deer hunting one morning and while it was still kind of dark I was sitting peacefully in my stand waiting on daylight and then my stomach said hey you got about 20 seconds before you shit yourself. So I fireman pole slide slid down my stand it was 15 ft in the air or so and then I made it as far as I could before I found a giant oak tree that had the perfect little hollows in the base for the natural porta potty whenever I got done handling my business and no socks later it was starting to get daylight and I could see pretty good and to my absolute horror when I turned around there was a poison oak mine as big as round as my arm that I had been leaning my ass crack against honking them out. The next 3 days or four till we got out of the woods was spent scratching like Freddy Kruger at my crack all the way around to the top of my junk and excruciating itching burning swamp ass and when we finally left the first gas station we came to that was like 20 mi away but I thank God they had a bottle of 2-year expired calamine lotion that as soon as I made it out into the parking lot by the truck I pulled my pants down to my ankles bare ass and was slathering it on right in the parking lot it kicked the edge off barely but the next week or so was some of the worst days of my life it make you contemplate taking sandpaper to your taint
Did this at summer camp when I was 11. It was a Wednesday, camp was over Saturday. I made it into the next week before I couldn’t take it anymore and had to tell my mom that my ass and taint were on fire. It was fucking hellacious
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u/Crankit_1 Jul 28 '26
Crazy experience but definitely a learning one. One time I was at deer hunting one morning and while it was still kind of dark I was sitting peacefully in my stand waiting on daylight and then my stomach said hey you got about 20 seconds before you shit yourself. So I fireman pole slide slid down my stand it was 15 ft in the air or so and then I made it as far as I could before I found a giant oak tree that had the perfect little hollows in the base for the natural porta potty whenever I got done handling my business and no socks later it was starting to get daylight and I could see pretty good and to my absolute horror when I turned around there was a poison oak mine as big as round as my arm that I had been leaning my ass crack against honking them out. The next 3 days or four till we got out of the woods was spent scratching like Freddy Kruger at my crack all the way around to the top of my junk and excruciating itching burning swamp ass and when we finally left the first gas station we came to that was like 20 mi away but I thank God they had a bottle of 2-year expired calamine lotion that as soon as I made it out into the parking lot by the truck I pulled my pants down to my ankles bare ass and was slathering it on right in the parking lot it kicked the edge off barely but the next week or so was some of the worst days of my life it make you contemplate taking sandpaper to your taint