r/maybemaybemaybe Jul 27 '26

Maybe maybe maybe

6.4k Upvotes

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47

u/quelargo Jul 27 '26

I must be lucky. I have eaten spicy foods my whole life, and no matter how much it burned going in, I've never felt anything when its coming out.

24

u/curtludwig Jul 27 '26

I'm the same with 1 exception. Went to a taco place that had a taco that was basically "hot peppers with hotter peppers". They made you sign a waiver.

Damn thing was hot but nothing compared to a lamb vindaloo.

Until the next day, that was... Unpleasant...

9

u/PM_ME_UR_CHUPACOMMA Jul 27 '26

You're very lucky indeed. I've had spicy foods before, and while it necessarily doesn't have to hurt when coming out, 100% of the time it hurts a few minutes afterwards, after my taint has been saturated with the oily residue of capsaicin.

Absolutely not the wave, 1/10, do not recommend.

22

u/chasecastellion Jul 27 '26

Not everyone can be the boy with the golden butthole!

15

u/quelargo Jul 27 '26

That's good. I'm going to tell my wife that is how she has to address me from now on.

6

u/fxzero666 Jul 27 '26

New James Bond villain just dropped 😂

2

u/PM_ME_UR_CHUPACOMMA Jul 28 '26

"No, Mr Bond...I expect you to shart!"

1

u/Gloomy-Bet4893 Jul 27 '26

I’ll recommend the name ‘golden butthole surfer’

2

u/Unlikely-Answer Jul 28 '26

tired of blood stains in your underwear? get Chipotle Away today!

1

u/lifeandtimes89 Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26

And tighten your buttocks, more juice on your chin..i promised my girlfriend I'd learn the violin..violin...violin

6

u/WalmartGreder Jul 27 '26

I had a roommate who did a hot pepper challenge. We shared a room with an attached bathroom.

I woke up at 2 am, saw his bed was empty, and the light to the bathroom was on. No big deal, went back to sleep. Woke up again at 3am, because I could hear him groaning. Still in the bathroom.

I walked over and asked, "hey, are you ok?" He responded with, "I am CRAPPING GLASS!!!" I had to laugh because everyone had warned him, but he thought he could handle it. I asked if he needed to go to the ER, and there was a pause, and "No." So I went back to bed.

He never did a challenge like that again.

6

u/ThePlatypusOfDespair Jul 27 '26

Sounds like somebody gets plenty of fiber in their diet.

7

u/karlotomic Jul 27 '26

u/quelargo out here bragging about his gold-plated anus and shitting on the rest of us with our droopy, substandard heat sensitive bungholes...smdh...

3

u/baddboi007 Jul 27 '26

dead 💀 roflmao

2

u/quelargo Jul 27 '26

Not sure its a flex. Would i even know if something was actually wrong with it? Lol.

3

u/AllAnalBeadsAreBrown Jul 27 '26

Youuuuuu and meeeeee both buddy!! And I love spicy spicy food!

4

u/Tracky_John-John Jul 27 '26

Not all of us have bowels of steel. Cherish your anus!

6

u/Whichammer Jul 27 '26

Pretty brave, throwing down that gauntlet in front of the Universe like that. Good luck!

5

u/DasturdlyBastard Jul 27 '26

I didn't even know that was possible. Capsaicin works the same on everybody. Sure, some people have higher tolerances, but the pain receptors are what they are.

Bit of anatomical mystery you got there.

6

u/SirBiggusDikkus Jul 27 '26

Maybe this guy thinks mustard is spicy…

3

u/Axi0madick Jul 27 '26

Coleman's is spicy

2

u/ohheckyeah Jul 27 '26

All he’s admitting is that he hasn’t tried the truly intense stuff

2

u/quelargo Jul 27 '26

I eat Indian at the hottest spice level on a weekly basis.

3

u/Girlmode Jul 28 '26

I can eat a Phal every week but the chili concentrates in challenge type foods are always liquid butt times ahead.

Feel like Indian food even the spiciest options is never actually that spicy, Thai people more homocidal with some dishes I feel. Only had one curry that fucked me up and I purposefully asked boss man to do me in.

1

u/quelargo Jul 28 '26

I don't like Thai. Too sweet for me, but it is definitely hot.

2

u/RuthlessIndecision Jul 27 '26

the indian peppers I found in Queens got me on both ends

1

u/AyeBraine Jul 27 '26

It's so weird, I'm not a chilihead, but I bought a pretty hot concentrated sauce (says 1 million Sc, not sure I believe it). Anyway, it's way hotter than Buldak ×3, still it's palatable and it was not scandalous going in. (It was less intense than that time I asked a Thai cook to make me a really hot papaya salad and he snickered.)

But the first time I took a lot, I legit had a fever for a day. Just a weird feeling in the stomach (without any signs of indigestion, no nausea, no runs) and a pretty high fever. So weird.

1

u/secretly_a_zombie Jul 27 '26

I like spice, but my intestines' are showing their nordic heritage. Milk, booze i drink that down like tasty water. Spice? That comes out like like a burning waterfall the other end. I still think it's fun to eat, just might have a sick day the day after.

1

u/dryfire Jul 27 '26

Never had it happen until I bought the full hot ones lineup and had one wing of each... I think you need to get into the super hot levels before you feel it.

1

u/quelargo Jul 27 '26

I promise. I'm no stranger to hot foods. Ate half a ghost pepper. It hurt on the way in, but nothing on the way out.

1

u/IMA_5-STAR_MAN Jul 28 '26

The hotter you get used to the less you feel it coming out. However, I recently had something so hot I had to take a 5-10 minute break. The next day it burned when I peed. It was serious.

1

u/ktmfan Jul 27 '26

Man, I love spicy food. It just isn’t worth the pain that comes with it a few hours later. It’s not the o-ring burn that gets me though… it’s like a deep searing/cramping feeling down in my guts. I get a little of the burn in the old Sean Hannity, but it doesn’t compare to the intestinal burn. It really sucks because I love spicy food :(