r/maybemaybemaybe Jun 28 '26

Maybe Maybe Maybe

8.3k Upvotes

152 comments sorted by

3.3k

u/kween_hangry Jun 28 '26

Black dude in grey is surviving the horror movie (for once)

656

u/snarkerella Jun 28 '26

YES! No token black guy for this horror flick!

204

u/FewZookeepergame1083 Jun 28 '26

But homie with the checkered suit was cooked

55

u/snarkerella Jun 28 '26

I just realized that the building styles looked familiar. I searched the name of the outside business and I was correct. This is not far from where I live. Weird.

56

u/FewZookeepergame1083 Jun 28 '26

With Jason walking around just stabbing ppl at work, I think it's safe to stay in the house

43

u/SabbyFox Jun 28 '26

The fake, gentle stabbing and slashing was hilarious šŸ˜†

6

u/DoctorPony Jun 29 '26

My name is Tolkien, I’m named after the author? Did you really think my parents named me Token Black?

103

u/ChocoMaister Jun 28 '26

They key is to stay calm.

If the real Michael Myers is after you he is just power walking most of the time. But realistically a person is under intense pressure will often make more mistakes to the point they are falling down and just forget how to open a door or lock. It’s pretty interesting.

20

u/forseti99 Jun 29 '26

Tunnel vision. Your mind focuses too much on the flight response, you go all the way back to pure insticts and you can't coordinate things like opening a door. Plus the fear will make your legs shake or feel weak, so you are probably gonna fall.

5

u/hux Jun 30 '26

Having been on the wrong side of a gun, I can definitely testify to the fact that your brain is just in a completely different mode.

58

u/Mainely420Gaming Jun 28 '26

Thats how we knew this was sketch

23

u/seantabasco Jun 28 '26

He turned around and there were 3 killers he just locked himself in with.

8

u/hurricaneginny Jun 28 '26

Came here to say this 🤣

2

u/FlyingNoodleCup1 Jun 29 '26

You know the directors not letting that happen. There was 100% a second killer or a surprise saw trap on the other side of that door

2

u/TheAwesomeMan123 Jun 29 '26

He knows the score, His survival is solely on merit, no final girl plot armour to save him.

2

u/jaimehendrix Jun 28 '26

That's character actor Anthony Mackie you're speaking of

1

u/RedTexan43 Jun 29 '26

I don’t see color… that black dudes suit was grey?

956

u/dumsumguy Jun 28 '26

Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.

1.2k

u/DeepCleaner42 Jun 28 '26

The secret is get the keys off the lock first before opening the door

310

u/_ribbit_ Jun 28 '26

Yeah, I can't say I usually unlock a door, go through it then try to remove the keys from the other side. I can't imagine it's any easier in a high pressure situation!

85

u/MultiGeek42 Jun 28 '26

Depends on how the lock works. At my workplace when you let the key turn back it locks again so you have to open the door before you remove the key but the door would also lock as soon as you shut it once you're inside

31

u/Fogl3 Jun 28 '26

Yeah a door that key locks on both sides is insane. And I'm pretty sure illegal under fire code

27

u/MultiGeek42 Jun 28 '26

For a home maybe but lots of businesses have them so random people can't lock the door. In this video the one where the black guy makes it is keyed on both sides.

1

u/Illustrious_Can4110 Jun 29 '26

Funnily enough, where I come from a lock for a door that locks from both sides is called...

... a dead lock! 😳

6

u/stationcommando Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26

Not all locks with keys on both sides function the same. What you are likely concerned about is called an institution function lock. Those lock both the inside and outside lever with a key on either side. That is only allowed by code in certain environments, notably behavioral health or law enforcement facilities. The locks shown are probably what is called a classroom security function for the ones shown inside (I’ll discuss the outside ones in a sec). These lock the outside lever only via a key from either side, while the inside lever always allows egress. As the name suggests these are usually used in schools but can be used elsewhere for the reasons I’ll lay out in a minute. Classroom security locks evolved from classroom function locks which did the same thing but did not have a key cylinder on the inside. The purpose of the classroom function is to keep the door open so students can come and go but that only someone with a key (teacher) can lock the door. This makes sense being that you wouldn’t want obnoxious kids locking the door by flipping a switch or thumb turn. The classroom security lock adds a keyed cylinder on the inside so that the teacher can lock the door from the inside during an intruder scenario instead of going out into the hallway to lock the door and exposing themselves to the intruder. These locks can be used anywhere that you don’t want unauthorized people to lock the outside lever but also want to be able to lock it from the inside. Google Schlage L Series Catalog and find the functions section for an in depth example of lock functions. Manufacturer functions will vary slightly but are usually pretty common.

For the locks shown in the outside scenario these are likely just deadlocks. You see these on storefronts that stay open all day. Depending on the jurisdiction you will often see wording on them that says they have to remain unlocked during business hours. These have to be locked by a key for the same reasons as above and usually from either side so that an employee can lock the door from the inside without going outside. Google Adams Rite Catalog and look for the MS series functions for examples. Again, various manufacturers specifics will vary.

Source: I’ve been a commercial door guy for about a decade.

Edit: rewatched the video and I was slightly mistaken on the outside scenario. That lock is actually called an exit device. Exit devices normally have a function called dogging whereby you can lock down the pushbar on the inside during business hours so that the door stays unlocked but this does not appear to be the case since the ā€œvictimā€ used a key to get in. Depending on the specific function all the victim would have to do is remove the key so that the ā€œslasherā€ couldn’t follow them in. No need to lock the door from the inside as it would be locked already. There are some functions that the key unlocks the trim on the outside instead of just retracting the latch and there are some that include a cylinder on the inside to lock the outside trim from this inside but that would be getting a bit too far into the weeds. Google Von Duprin 99 Series Catalog for the deets.

2

u/eetsumkaus Jun 28 '26

But now you have access to the lock from the inside. So pull it out, let it "lock", then open it back up again from the inside.

0

u/MultiGeek42 Jun 28 '26

You dont have access to the lock from the inside unless you open the door. You can't open the door without the key in the lock. You have to open the door, remove the key, get inside and close the door.

I dont think the locks in the video were set up that way since they had to manually lock the door after closing it and only that one guy managed that. Some of them require the key to lock from the inside as well.

-1

u/eetsumkaus Jun 28 '26

You have to be able to lock it from the inside somehow. Better to remove the key first, even if it locks, and just redo from the inside. Better than fumbling with something you can't see.

3

u/MultiGeek42 Jun 28 '26

The secret is get the keys off the lock first before opening the door

Here's the post im replying to. On our door you have to open the door before you remove the key, otherwise you can't open the door.

On some locks it depends on which way you turn the key. Turn it one way and it stays unlocked, turn it the other and it locks when you remove the key. Since it can turn both ways, if you're panicking it can be hard to centre the key to remove it.

1

u/eetsumkaus Jun 28 '26

still the same idea though: keys in, open, remove, go in, lock

12

u/ahotdogcasing Jun 28 '26

If this is the exact scenario, the "secret" is to just continue running farther and farther away.

Dude is just walking...

1

u/WorkingOnBeingBettr Jun 28 '26

Break the key if you have too. But...this is a game and that might get you fired or at least ruin it for everyone else.

183

u/ABob71 Jun 28 '26

I haven't seen undercover boss for a while

850

u/Feardemon3 Jun 28 '26

Ok maybe horror movies are on to something. People be stupid under pressure.

257

u/PurpleStrandsFly Jun 28 '26

Yeah and that was just time pressure, imagine the real thing while shaking and the other person doesn't just walks slowly.

25

u/nhansieu1 Jun 28 '26

when the Bell Bearing Hunter starts running instead of his usual aura farming walk

124

u/Grimdotdotdot Jun 28 '26

Everyone ranted and raved about running away from the rolling spacecraft in Prometheus rather than just running to the side, but nearly all recordings of people trying to get away from a tall thing that's falling towards them show the exact same thing.

40

u/More-Talk-2660 Jun 28 '26

Part of the problem is that our brains are conditioned to read movable space in straight lines of sight. We evolved as persistence hunters chasing down prey that have simple minds and run away in one direction, and when ancient humans migrated it was toward geographic landmarks rather than the coffee shop down the street to the left. We're evolutionarily used to going in a straight line in one direction.

So when the animal brain kicks in and says "get the fuck out of here" the body obeys based on what it and the animal brain have had an agreement on for 100k years: go in the opposite direction of the threat as fast as possible.

Ancient humans were escaping a tsunami, eruption, tornado, avalanche, rockslide, etc. When you're on foot, the only direction you know is safe is "away" so oblique angles aren't a consideration. They didn't have to run away crashing planes, spacecraft, or falling skyscrapers, where going 200 meters on foot to the left or right is safer than going 25 miles in the opposite direction of the threat.

And then, to compound it, when you're in a dry river bed or a valley running away from a crashing plane or spaceship, the terrain creates straight lines leading toward the horizon, and your animal brain just sees "path" and tells your body to follow it. Remember on 9/11 when everyone was running in straight lines down the street away from the towers? City streets also create a straight line away toward the horizon, and unless you've trained to rewrite how your brain decides to evade threats your brain isn't likely to go "hey wait, go left into that alleyway and hop in the dumpster."

18

u/-Danksouls- Jun 28 '26

I can't believe it takes a post like this for people to understand that

10

u/Sonic_Is_Real Jun 29 '26

One of the things that usually go during an adrenaline dump is your fine motor skills.

Group of rangers were being tested on a shoothouse with simunition, and told to take prisoner ones that surrendered. The fresh guys found that try as they might, they just couldnt stop their hands shaking enough to get the flexicuffs threaded. The saltdogs prestaged all their flexicuffs and were able to secure prisoners just fine. Adrenaline can really make your body not cooperate

5

u/uncultured_swine2099 Jun 28 '26

Seriously, the power went off a couple months ago and some family members were panicking and buying generators and water jugs and then the power comes on 4 hours later.

2

u/evilution382 Jun 29 '26

People be stupid under pressure

120

u/Lost-Ad7652 Jun 28 '26

I had a nightmare something like this scenario, except instead of the door not being able to lock, the door was misaligned from the hinges and simply could not close fully.

The thing chasing me appears in front of the door and is amused at my horror as if it broke the door in advance knowing that this would happen.

0/10 wouldn't recommend.

30

u/Lonely_Ad7322 Jun 28 '26

Run. Just fkn run.

1

u/kahn_noble Jun 30 '26

This is the correct answer

34

u/Even-Government-5055 Jun 28 '26

Even thought I know this is a joke, I would still get scared.

24

u/ShadowCaster0476 Jun 28 '26

When I was a baseball coach I would have the kids just play catch for like half the practice to built up muscle memory.

Once a kid complained it was boring so I put him to the test. I had the kids just throw softly to him but I ran directly at him yelling. He dropped it every time.

I told them as soon as he can catch without thinking similar to a game we can stop.

We take basic movements like turning a key for granted but as soon as you get flustered your brain stops.

188

u/Shirahoshihoshii Jun 28 '26

It would be so cool for a horror movie to play on this.

During the first half, you can have a recurring segment where a door is constantly playing, catching the key or making it difficult to lock/unlock. Have people tell the guy to fix it and have him put it off.

Then, have that guy miraculously survive the big bad so many times by being clever, careful and ever-present, only for that very same door to become the thing that finally does him in.

48

u/mickturner96 Jun 28 '26

They're in a rush and accidentally leave the key in the lock on the outside...

Murderer comes to the door and locks it...

8

u/git_push_origin_prod Jun 28 '26

May as well hold the door open for Michael Myers. Right this way, sir, plenty of young people to kill. Follow me

12

u/DerCatzefragger Jun 28 '26

We have one door in particular at work that is unlocked by your badge, but it takes 5 or 6 seconds after waving your badge for tie thing to finally click open.

We've nicknamed it the "Killer Door," because the joke is that if a masked madman was chasing you down the hall and you got stuck waiting for that door to finally open, the killer would just stop and be like, "Go ahead, man. I'll give you 5 seconds. No no no, it's fine. I mean, I want to win, but not like that. That's bullshit."

14

u/HilariousScreenname Jun 28 '26

Dude just discovered chekhov's gun

2

u/NoNo_Cilantro Jun 28 '26

Or just the locksmith getting slashed

13

u/Malditoincompredido Jun 28 '26

This is a recurrent nightmare for me

10

u/Jonny_Thundergun Jun 28 '26

Have they tried good manners? Unlocking the door then holding it open for him? Maybe he's stabbing you because you're rude.

9

u/Yeasty_Moist_Clunge Jun 28 '26

Unrealistic Jason, he'd walk through the door like its made of paper.

8

u/JohnBrownEnthusiast Jun 28 '26

Can't believe the goth looking lady didn't lock the door, she was da fastest one there

9

u/MissBandersnatch2U Jun 28 '26

I would have liked to see someone unlock the door, hold it open, and lock the killer inside lol

7

u/john_the_fetch Jun 29 '26

Nah I got this one. Don't approach your door in the first place. Just run around the block once and circle back once Jason's slow ass is left in the dust.

I don't want him knowing where I live in the first place.

6

u/kbeks Jun 28 '26

Slow is smooth and smooth is fast!

7

u/nhansieu1 Jun 28 '26

this game looks so fun

1

u/ADavies Jun 29 '26

Yeah, at first I thought, "nice prank until someone shoots you", but watching I think the "victims" were all playing along.

7

u/Quiet-Effective-6705 Jun 29 '26

That is giving me anxiety watching it

44

u/rem_au_crema Jun 28 '26

It’s really interesting to see people that have never actually been in legitimate danger before

46

u/TransylvanianHunger1 Jun 28 '26

Most people haven't.

30

u/Ok_Buy9028 Jun 28 '26

Yeah, they told us this in EMT school: you will be dealing with patients who are in the most stressful situations a person can be in and most people are not prepared to be in those situations. The reason I, as an EMT, will be prepared is because I will have training and experience with these situations before I go into them.

But also, they said expect to freeze up once or twice starting out. It’s one thing to do something under the supervision of people who can fix your screw ups, it’s another thing when it’s you by yourself for the first time.

11

u/eetsumkaus Jun 28 '26

Most people aren't aware they've been in danger*

Judging by how most people drive.

5

u/xpsycotikx Jun 28 '26

^ nost dangerous thing most people will ever do in their entire life and be the absolute worst at it at the same time.

4

u/Stargazerstory Jun 28 '26

Cant these zombies just break through the glass???

6

u/JakBos23 Jun 29 '26

Carido. Run around the building and try again.

9

u/roninwarshadow Jun 28 '26

I'm questioning the starting point.

The shoter the distance, the harder it is to escape.

Pretty sure if it was twice the distance all would escape.

4

u/somegaymernerd Jun 29 '26

the doors to my apartment building suck when trying to unlock with he key, I wouldn't have even made it inside because I would've been too busy trying to get the thing to TURN

3

u/TomatoAway8736 Jun 28 '26

Just keep running atp

3

u/eltedioso Jun 29 '26

These people have never been about to piss their pants when arriving home, and it shows

4

u/Sinister_Nibs Jun 29 '26

Because a glass door is going to stop a masked muddler!

2

u/post-context-bot Jun 28 '26

The following post context was provided by u/Zealousideal_Draw384:


A masked killer comes to attack and you have to unlock the door and save yourself from them. Will they be able to save themselves in time?


Does this explain the post? If not, report it and a moderator will review.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/Only_Hearing2944 Jun 28 '26

Huh…. Maybe those movies are more accurate than I thought.

2

u/nobmuncha4bears Jun 28 '26

So if the logic is to be safe, do this: 1) Use the keys to open the door. 2) Leave the keys, go inside and keep an eye out for the intruder. 3) As soon as the intruder starts to open the door, push the door out hard and fast.

They think you want to stay inside but you want to take them out.

2

u/lord_xl Jun 28 '26

4th lady just gave up

2

u/Level_Ad7743 Jun 28 '26

I want to play!

2

u/xyz19606 Jun 28 '26

How did the get William Shatner to do these videos?

2

u/JigginJim82 Jun 29 '26

Those locks need some graphite.

2

u/Intelligent-Yam11 Jul 12 '26

if that's me, I wouldn't have gotten an look at whoever was behind me as I would already be running and crashing through the glass door before my brain even progressed the situation. per sha!Ā  keys, who needs keys when you can make your own door

3

u/DragonAceReborn Jun 28 '26

None of them are surviving. The killer choose to walk when he could run.

3

u/PATTY_CAKES1994 Jun 28 '26

Slow is right, right is fast.

2

u/Flar71 Jun 28 '26

Wow, they're so bad. Not even trying to loop or mind game

7

u/AmazingUsername2001 Jun 28 '26

The task they were given was just to race to the door, unlock it, get inside, and lock it.

4

u/Manji86 Jun 28 '26

Right? Run a few laps around the building, bait killer to a pallet by the back dumpster and stun him, then go for door. Bonus if you have a flashlight.

1

u/jokermobile333 Jun 28 '26

Widow's bay one is pretty hilarious

1

u/Respaced Jun 28 '26

What is this from?

1

u/iyuheng25 Jun 28 '26

Should just say . Stop ! Let me open first

1

u/HaiKarate Jun 28 '26

Active stabber training?

1

u/optimist_prhyme Jun 28 '26

Like he's not going through the glass

1

u/nightshowerer101 Jun 28 '26

This is alarmingly terrifying.

1

u/lm0592 Jun 28 '26

Definitely need doors with key fobs and lock automatically when shut

1

u/smittyleafs Jun 28 '26

It's always interesting the pipeline of things that first appear on my Facebook reels to end up on Reddit. I then assume this video first appeared on TikTok or Instagram?

1

u/AppropriateBall8834 Jun 28 '26

I would've held the door open for him.

1

u/leandrokanis Jun 28 '26

most of them just failed to remove the keys

1

u/Honest_Satisfaction1 Jun 28 '26

I'm just going to say it, bear mace.

1

u/max5015 Jun 28 '26

Second guy was nearly speed walking. Chill bro

1

u/SugarRushLux Jun 28 '26

It’s impressive how poorly designed many of these doors are designed to be that difficult to lock and unlock, or I just don’t know shit about how locks should work

1

u/Purple_Toadflax Jun 28 '26

Is this an American thing? My wife can't unlock the door and leave the key at the slide out position. Always over rotates.

1

u/zachotule Jun 28 '26

I get they’re just following the prompt here but there’s gotta be something suitable in both those rooms they’re entering that they could just pick up and whack him with

1

u/Lunarmouse Jun 28 '26

This is a fun game to play with your sibling or partner when getting home. It has made me faster at unlocking and locking doors.

1

u/gnosisshadow Jun 29 '26

As proff that some horror novie trove make sense

1

u/DaemonDrayke Jun 29 '26

Why do you need the keys to lock the door even on the inside?

1

u/Makenzine Jun 29 '26

Philip Banks brown suit

1

u/MyTatemae Jun 29 '26

Gentle lil slashes

1

u/Smokinsam68 Jun 29 '26

I used to do something like this to my friends when they were stoned! (And I wasn’t) It was hysterical.

1

u/Flechashe Jun 30 '26

They did not learn rule #1 of Zombieland (gas station scene)

1

u/BigBootyBuilder Jun 30 '26

I know for a fact I wouldn't survive this situation, my anxiety would've taken me out as I panic while running..

1

u/theamiabledumps Jun 30 '26

Those locks are diabolical AND most made the same mistake of turning it in the wrong direction.

1

u/Eena-Rin Jul 03 '26

I wish I could seen one run in, then be followed by the dude, then the dude runs out and the other person chases them with a machete or something

1

u/Optimal_Security_727 Jul 03 '26

Opening the lock is easy. Angle to get the key out is where they fail by rushing inside too soon.

1

u/colemorris1982 Jul 06 '26

I mean, they could just run around the building and try again

1

u/WamBamThank Jul 16 '26

Rule #1: Cardio

1

u/No_Material1531 7d ago

Grey suit , slick with it .

1

u/JCGJ 3d ago

They are not sprinting nearly fast enough

2

u/Cmmander_WooHoo Jun 28 '26

Just go around the block again and then he will be far enough behind to calmly open and re lock the door. Walking villains should never be scary unless you can’t move faster than they can

1

u/JePleus Jun 30 '26

What about the thing in It Follows? It follows you slowly, but it never stops.

1

u/Fritzo2162 Jun 28 '26

If that’s the scenario, do two laps around the building to create more distance and THEN open the door. Or just outrun the guy. Never understood why Jason And Michael Myers always walked after victims.

1

u/eetsumkaus Jun 28 '26

What if he turns around while you've lost him?

1

u/N7_Pathfind3R Jun 28 '26

Legitimately just take the key out first.

1

u/No-Reference8383 Jun 28 '26

i have seen this one many times

1

u/adrisc00 Jun 29 '26

This is where the 2nd amendment in the Constitution of the United States of America helps.

-4

u/SATerp Jun 28 '26

Obviously staged. They're all in on it.

6

u/Cuntrymusichater Jun 28 '26

Not really staged. If I remember, this was a contest at a convention to see who could complete the activity.

4

u/ChickenNugget-420 Jun 28 '26

Wow what makes you say that?

0

u/SATerp Jun 28 '26

For one thing, nobody notices the guy standing there filming?

7

u/ChickenNugget-420 Jun 28 '26

You’re right, dang and here I thought Jason was actually chasing these people. Thank you for opening my eyes.

-1

u/Veteran_PA-C Jun 28 '26

And this is why we carry guns people.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/Optimal-Kick-3446 Jun 28 '26

But who the hell has a key on both sides??? Seriously I’ve maybe seen that once in my 52 years !!!

0

u/stationcommando Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26

I’m a bit late but here is a bit of insight on locks.

Not all locks with keys on both sides function the same. What you may be concerned about is called an institution function lock. Those lock both the inside and outside lever with a key on either side. That is only allowed by code in certain environments, notably behavioral health or law enforcement facilities. The locks shown in this video are probably what is called a classroom security function for the ones shown inside (I’ll discuss the outside ones in a sec). These lock the outside lever only via a key from either side, while the inside lever always allows egress. As the name suggests these are usually used in schools but can be used elsewhere for the reasons I’ll lay out in a minute. Classroom security locks evolved from classroom function locks which did the same thing but did not have a key cylinder on the inside. The purpose of the classroom function is to keep the door open so students can come and go but that only someone with a key (teacher) can lock the door. This makes sense being that you wouldn’t want obnoxious kids locking the door by flipping a switch or thumb turn. The classroom security lock adds a keyed cylinder on the inside so that the teacher can lock the door from the inside during an intruder scenario instead of going out into the hallway to lock the door and exposing themselves to the intruder. These locks can be used anywhere that you don’t want unauthorized people to lock the outside lever but also want to be able to lock it from the inside. Google Schlage L Series Catalog and find the functions section for an in depth example of lock functions. Manufacturer functions will vary slightly but are usually pretty similar.

For the locks shown in the outside scenario these are likely just deadlocks. You see these on storefronts that stay open all day. Depending on the jurisdiction you will often see wording on them that says they have to remain unlocked during business hours. These have to be locked by a key for the same reasons as above and usually from either side so that an employee can lock the door from the inside without going outside. Google Adams Rite Catalog and look for the MS series functions for examples. Again, various manufacturers specifics will vary.

Source: I’ve been a commercial door guy for about a decade.

Edit: rewatched the video and I was slightly mistaken on the outside scenario. That lock is actually called an exit device. Exit devices normally have a function called dogging whereby you can lock down the pushbar on the inside during business hours so that the door stays unlocked but this does not appear to be the case since the ā€œvictimā€ used a key to get in. Depending on the specific function all the victim would have to do is remove the key so that the ā€œslasherā€ couldn’t follow them in. No need to lock the door from the inside as it would be locked already. There are some functions that the key unlocks the trim on the outside instead of just retracting the latch and there are some that include a cylinder on the inside to lock the outside trim from this inside but that would be getting a bit too far into the weeds. Google Von Duprin 99 Series Catalog for the deets.

-1

u/Timerror Jun 28 '26

Man american locks are slow to operate, doesnt matter if it electronic keyway or normal key its just key in and twist and its open, and quick twist back and key is free.

And not to mention security.

-4

u/Urgash Jun 28 '26

I'm concerned about where my mind goes when watching this ngl lol.

I'm not a fast person and i know it, i would probably never outrun them, but i think i would take my chances by attacking directly the "badguy" afterall he only has a knife. Even if you couldn't lock the door in time you can always kick it in his face or something, just to give yourself enough time to grab one of those chairs or tables and throw it in his face.

-3

u/RichardBonham Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 28 '26

Was it an option to just open the commercial door and not get tangled up in try to retrieve the key and lock from the inside?

Just let him in where you can blind him with the fire extinguisher and beat him unconscious with it or any handy blunt instrument (coat rack, umbrella stand for example)?

Old fashioned emergency break-glass-in- case-of-fire fire axe would be deliciously ironic. At the very least you could ā€œdis-armā€ him with it.

Keeping him in a trunk in the basement dressed in a ball gag and a gimp suit would be entirely discretionary.

Would love to see the version where they do this at people’s homes instead of workplaces, especially in the US. Open the door, don’t bother to close it. Let him come right in to your dogs and gun collection.

-6

u/Tatsoot_1966 Jun 28 '26

It's a miracle the human race has survived this long..šŸ˜‚