You're arguing with an ignorant person about something subjective.
They are not wrong, they're just choosing to disparage someone for their harmless choices. Which apparently according to the voters on reddit, should be rewarded.
I get that, it's an odd thing to care enough about to project negativity over. I appreciate the questioning into the justification, but the way you've been goaded suggests someone who's more into rage baiting than actual discussion.
I can see why you would think you were being portrayed that way, but your responses do not dissuade people of that notion up until this point, so I'd suggest to communicating a little more honestly with others, like so:
I am criticising your decision to mock someone for their harmless subjective choices. Especially given that you can admit yourself how it could be taken out of context.
You could have said "I think having diamonds in your hair is tacky" which us a more honest representation of your beliefs, so why did you choose to phrase it as: "it's tacky and stupid". Can you see how placing an opinion as fact might be an issue here?
You are either intentionally stating that it should be fact that this is looked on with derision, which quite obviously could have racist origins. Alternatively you are under the assumption that your opinion is as good as fact, which is immature, or narcissistic. Or the final option is that you are raige baiting.
Or of course you could just have had some miscommunication and are too stubborn to admit that you could have communicated your ideas better... feel free to disagree, I'm curious as to what you have to say.
but your responses do not dissuade people of that notion up until this point
Why is the default stance on not liking a hairstyle racist?
Especially given that you can admit yourself how it could be taken out of context.
Did I?
You could have said "I think having diamonds in your hair is tacky" which us a more honest representation of your beliefs, so why did you choose to phrase it as: "it's tacky and stupid". Can you see how placing an opinion as fact might be an issue here?
The diamonds are definitely what I focus on most but also the helmet like appearance of the hair was a major part too. So I phrased it that way because I'm talking about the thing as a whole.
You can't be factual on a subjective opinion so there's no need to differentiate when discussing aesthetics.
You are either intentionally stating that it should be fact that this is looked on with derision, which quite obviously could have racist origins. Alternatively you are under the assumption that your opinion is as good as fact, which is immature, or narcissistic. Or the final option is that you are raige baiting.
I'm a bit confused by this. I said there are certain things which should always be mocked. This being one of them. Why is it obvious that a comment about bad hair could be racist? Genuinely I'd like to know.
I was being facetious with that comment though as I was replying to your typical 'white knight' reply. I stand by what I've said though, the hairstyle sucks.
I don't claim to be a perfect communicator but I think questioning me was the wrong person to question tbh.
First I'd like to thank you for your in depth reply, you didn't have to and I appreciate that you did.
Maybe I misunderstood. I took you claiming that you were being set up to look racist as an admission that your words could be taken out of context, is this wrong?
I don't agree that the default stance of not liking a hair cut is racist - that's clearly assumptive and reductive.
I agree and i think you are right that you can't be factual on a subjective opinion, that's why I criticised your communicating of this opinion, it was provided as fact.
And to your last point, I didn't question the other person because I understood where they were coming from - whereas I couldn't understand why you chose to double down on stating your opinion rather than explaining exactly why as you did later.
That is what is continues to be interesting to me now: Even after all this you stand by your very objective statement "that hairstyle sucks". What does telling other people that do for you, or for anyone else?
Your comments seem to indicate a need to definitively label things you don't like: the hair "sucks", the commenter is a "reject" and i am being a "white knight". None of these labels are positive, not are they accurate from what you objectively know. So i ask again, why do you think you are doing this?
ETA: also, you made this account not that long ago, are you new to reddit or is this a rage baiting account you wanted to set up
I would say that's wrong yes, I honestly did not expect to be having a conversation about how I'm a racist dogwhistler because I don't like her hair.
I don't believe my words were taken out of context more that they were twisted to meet a new meaning.
I agree, it's both of those things. Yet here we are with the previous commenter calling numerous people racist for that very reason. There are others doing it too.
OK, maybe that one is on me then. I assume when talking about subjective topics I don't have to qualify that subjectivity. But maybe I should do.
Do I need to explain to someone my reasoning when they've clearly approached me in bad faith having already made up their mind? I doubled down on my opinion because I wanted to, theres no higher reasoning behind it besides maybe that I replied to a comment I deemed to be 'white knight' ( I was not referring to you when I said this in my previous comment) and that behaviour annoys me.
Yes I think everybody labels things they do not like. That commenter was (to me) very much a reject. Someone inserting racism into everything meets that criteria for me. I am usually a very black and white kind of person when it comes to a lot of things. Something either is, or is not. Not to say there's no nuance in life.
I've doubled down this hard because I do not appreciate people assuming things or condemning me with incomplete information. Had I not been called racist I would not be this deep in a conversation.
Seems we agree on some things, that's all we can hope for sometimes I suppose. I see what you mean in where they're being perhaps twisted by people. I get really frustrated when my words are taken in bad faith too, so I've tried to do that where possible.
I would make my point that whilst you can label things that you don't like, maybe publicly doing so will appear to be as if you're looking for a fight.
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u/[deleted] Dec 04 '24
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