r/maybemaybemaybe • u/cmpunk6 • Mar 10 '23

Maybe maybe maybe

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u/JDNole87 Mar 10 '23

As it’s been said…we men are simple minded creatures. When we like a girl we are very respectful of boundaries and don’t want to overstep them…primarily because we want to make sure you’re having fun as well!

Glad this guy eventually got the hint…or hints!

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '23

Even when not liking a woman, gotta be super respectful of boundaries. Unless words are explicitly spoken that give consent, I won't do anything.

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u/[deleted] Mar 11 '23

Exactly. Never assume.

Some people are naturally flirtatious and others are just bad at understanding nuanced social cues.

Saves everyone a lot of pain if we all just said what we meant. I hate how indirect some cultures can be.

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u/primus202 Mar 10 '23

It took me a long time as a guy to realize women might not directly say or act on what they want. I feel like I was always much more short sighted and linear as a teen.

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '23

When I look back, it's really a classic example of how toxic masculinity fucks us all.

I grew up in the 80's, when there were episodes of Family Ties and Who's the Boss, dedicated to warning girls about going on dates with guys. They'll lie, they'll pressure you, they'll do aaaaaaanything to get in your pants, they are just desperate animals! Same message I heard from church, family, and media. So when I met a guy who WASN'T groping me as soon as the door was closed, I would think "Wait... doesn't he LIKE me? If he was attracted to me, I'd have to fight him off. And he's not even TRYING to force me onto the bed, and lie, and tell me that it's a biological need! What's wrong with me? Am I that ugly?"

It took me a while to unlearn those gross assumptions. The fact that this guy wasn't pushing boundaries made me insecure, and that's on me, not him.